argument 48 请拍砖，万分感谢

dabaoqiaoUID: 195888

------题目------
The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country of Corpora.
'Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.'
------正文------
This recommendation provides us with some logical analysis for decline of numbers of fitness citizens and attributes this to decline of economy. However if we carefully reconsider the argument once more, we can see some logical mistakes when the arguer analyzed it.

First of all we reconsider the condition of decline of fitness citizen. The arguer said today only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit while twenty years there are half. Obviously the arguer ignored the change of number of population and standards for adequate physical during twenty years. Maybe Corpora's population has been increasing all the time and the absolute number of half and one quarter is different. For example twenty years ago Corpora only had 10,000 people, adequate physical fitness ones are 5,000; Today there are 100,000 people living there, adequate physical fitness ones are 25,000. From this example, the absolute number improves. Furthermore, the arguer ignored another fact that whether the standard of fitness has changed during these years. Maybe twenty years ago only basic physical factor such as the stature, weight, and so on is in the standard level can we say the person is fitness, while today the standards include other factors, such as blood pressure, heart beating each minute and so on. The improved standards may causes less people be considered unfitness.

On the other hand, if we assume that both population and standard have not changed so much, we still can find logical flaws in this argument. That is the reason of decline of physical fitness is not the computer but economy from the arguer. Highest level of fitness just in the regions of highest use of computers can not be the evidence of not computer causing the decline. Probably there are very few people live in this region which leads to absolute few numbers to a high relative numbers. If only 20 people live there, an exaggerated instance, and 15 among them are fitness people, the level may achieve 75%, while in other regions where also use computers may only owned very few fitness people. Moreover one year's low expenditures on fitness-related products and services actually will not cause the decline of fitness of people either, because fitness can not be built in a short time, like one year, and it usually depends on long-term life habits.

So if the arguer wants to persuade people in Corpora, he or she needs to revise these logical mistakes one by one and finds other information such as the number of the population today and the adequate standards today to support this argument.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

试试先去改别人的帖子
我把你帖子的链接发在这个帖子了
希望你们能够结成对子，互相批改
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=249994

chenxgUID: 183868

第一段我觉得写的很好，从人口数量和标准的变化角度来说明；
第二段我觉得写的不好，个人认为应该从relationship between number of computer and number of fitness的关系来进一步说明，调查的有效性；
最后，我觉得似乎应该说明it  \在运动器材花费的减少并不能说明经济的不景气。只能说明人们的偏好为不用器材的运动，例如室外跑步等。不能够成必要的关系。

dabaoqiaoUID: 195888

谢谢哦，呵呵：）[


QUOTE]最初由 鬼谷子 发布
[B]试试先去改别人的帖子
我把你帖子的链接发在这个帖子了
希望你们能够结成对子，互相批改
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=249994 [/B][/QUOTE]

dabaoqiaoUID: 195888

谢谢，我写第二段的时候时间不够了，所以只能写写出来再说，呵呵.不知道考试的时候写不完怎么办?[

QUOTE]最初由 chenxg 发布
[B]第一段我觉得写的很好，从人口数量和标准的变化角度来说明；
第二段我觉得写的不好，个人认为应该从relationship between number of computer and number of fitness的关?.

以下省略...... [/B][/QUOTE]

lunaticUID: 150745

经济不景气是客观事实，不是由产品卖不好推得的

最初由 chenxg 发布
[B]第一段我觉得写的很好，从人口数量和标准的变化角度来说明；
第二段我觉得写的不好，个人认为应该从relationship between number of computer and number of fitness的关?.

以下省略...... [/B]