Issue185 知道有问题，但自己不知如何改，请大家猛拍，我必回改！！

lindaliUID: 185012

185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

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This topic is quite interesting, as it take scandals, a shameful thing , as a useful thing. At first glance, it has some sense in it, but when we think about it thoroughly, it becomes so partial.

It's true that “scandals focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could". There are many examples, such as, the former president of the America, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. People would never know Monica Lewinsky, if she had no relationship with the President Clinton. She really jumped in front of us overnight. It's the best way for her, a girl with no outstanding ability to be known. If Lev want to become recognize by others, this scandal really helped her, because not only in the America, but also through out the world, where people could see the national flag of America, would know her through the scandal. Nothing could be compared with this kind of propaganda.

Except for the embarrassing fame, what could one get from the scandal? Could people forget the past? Some one really started their career after earned enough fame from a scandal. But scandals will firstly come to people mind when they see the related person. Someone would say that people are forgetful nowadays, who will remember how a person become famous after he (she) earns a decent status. However, people who work hard to earn their status, who pay much attention to the whole scandals and who are relatives of the related person will definitely remember. Let’s still take Lewinsky for example. If she now wants to lead a normal life, how could people around her forget the scandal? How could she face her daughter's naive eyes, when the young girl asks her mother the whole thing? When considering all these outcomes, scandals won't be positive but be destructive for the person, as all these will be written in the person’s history and never could be erased.

Finally, if there is still anyone wants to become well known through scandals, he (she) should be careful. They must make the whole thing more vivid and trustful. Because people now become more and more clever, they could tell what is intended advertising. Scandals are far from beneficial, as people will forget the glory, but remember the shame forever.

jaojieUID: 195494

This topic is quite interesting, as it take scandals, a shameful thing , as a useful thing. At first glance, it has some sense in it, (有点不知所云？）but when we think about it thoroughly, it becomes so partial.

It's true that “scandals focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could". There are many examples, such as, the former president of the America, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. People would never know Monica Lewinsky, if she had no relationship with the President Clinton. She really jumped in front of us overnight. It's the best way for her, a girl with no outstanding ability to be known. If Lev want to become recognize by others, this scandal really helped her, because not only in the America, but also through out the world, where people could see the national flag of America, would know her through the scandal. Nothing could be compared with this kind of propaganda. （论证听充分的，没看出什么问题）
下面思路就开始怪了。

Except for the embarrassing fame, what could one get from the scandal? Could people forget the past? Some one really started their career after earned enough fame from a scandal. But scandals will firstly come to people 的mind when they see the related person. Someone would say that people are forgetful nowadays, who will remember how a person become famous after he (she) earns a decent status. However, people who work hard to earn their status, who pay much attention to the whole scandals and who are relatives of the related person will definitely remember. Let’s still take Lewinsky for example. If she now wants to lead a normal life, how could people around her forget the scandal? How could she face her daughter's naive eyes, when the young girl asks her mother the whole thing? When considering all these outcomes, scandals won't be positive but be destructive for the person, as all these will be written in the person’s history and never could be erased.

Finally, if there is still anyone wants to become well known through scandals, he (she) should be careful. They must make the whole thing more vivid and trustful. Because people now become more and more clever, they could tell what is intended advertising. Scandals are far from beneficial, as people will forget the glory, but remember the shame forever.
怎么最后说到人利用丑闻出名的事情上了？跟题目想要说的好像有点------（个人意见）
如果不从GRE作文的角度是篇不错的文章，但AWAj就怪了，好像切题点很小，特新颖，我也不知道行不，反正我是不敢这样写：）

jaojieUID: 195494

又时间的话，帮忙看看吧，我这篇也跟你有同样的感觉
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251069 issue214 天才儿童

lindaliUID: 185012

谢谢了
倒数第二段，我主要想从绯闻的危害角度分析它并不是有助的，这样又跑题的嫌疑啊？

lindaliUID: 185012

我已经给你改过了，回去看看吧！

朽木白哉UID: 195804

整篇的文字没有什么问题 所以就不贴出来了

只是我觉得题目的重点不是讨论draw attention的
而应该是丑闻是不是useful
所以第二段感觉有点跑题

还可以多加点例子
除了那种性丑闻
还有其他政治上的 经济上的 学术上的

加油 ^^

lindaliUID: 185012

谢谢楼上的评论。
我第二段主要想写丑闻可以吸引眼球，第三段写丑闻没有益处反而会给人的正常生活带来影响。
是不是没有表达清楚呢？

朽木白哉UID: 195804

文字表达是清楚的
我想题目中的draw attention应该是不言而喻的
不用去过多论证
重点是useful
如果只是第三段这样说的话 就单薄了一点

妖妖UID: 149770

整段文章都围绕这CLINTON事件在转，直接NARROW论点，并且从头到尾都在说一个简单的事情。文字上是相当好的，好的叫我特别的羡慕，特别第二段的哪个承上启下，用的特别的流利。

个人认为如果是TWE一定是可以拿高分的，因为TWE只要考察的是文字能力，但是如果是G应该是考察CRITICAL THINKING 多一点的。

具体可以看看大家的讨论就可以知道如何破题了

lindaliUID: 185012

谢谢妖妖的评点。
我觉得自己分析题目，以及进一步逻辑分析的能力还是欠缺的。
只有一个星期了，我现在很是破釜沉舟。
一定坚持到最后！！！！