Argument 6,刚开始练习，非常渴望xdjm的指导！

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6 The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

“A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is “Jazz Nightly”, which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money.”
正文
The arguer asserts that a jazz club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise based on several evidences cited in the argument. In fact, the protest is unconvincing due to the shortage of thorough investigate and valid analysis.

First, there is no sufficient evidence to show that jazz music is extremely popular in Monroe. On the one hand, the arguer fails to exclusive the possibilities that people who attended Monroe’s jazz festival last summer mostly come from other cities or a large part of them comes as companions but fans, and thereby it is doubtable that whether there are truly many people to like jazz music. On another hand, is there necessary relation between well-known jazz musicians living in Monroe and local citizens’ favor of jazz music? Even if I concede that jazz music is popular in Monroe, will funs of jazz go to the clubs? They can listen to jazz music in many ways. For examples, they can listen by radio and they can use CD player in their houses. Thus, the predicted market of jazz seems no longer optimistic.

Second, the arguer overlooks the potential rivals. Although the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, it is very likely that only close to their proposed club are there many clubs of other styles. Those clubs are not titled with jazz, but they will play jazz music on the purposes of appealing to customers, of course, including jazz fans. Besides, the arguer does not provide any assumptions or plans about how to manage their club or how to make their club attractive so as to be winner in the competition. Thus, there are no reasons to believe that their jazz club will make money.

Finally, the arguer fails to examine local consumption level of jazz music and instead cites a nationwide study that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. Obviously, the arguer neglects the uniqueness of Monroe and mistakenly takes the nationwide condition for Monroe’s condition. Hence, it is logically acceptable that fans’ expense in jazz entertainment is lower than $1,000. Moreover, even if the expense truly equals, even exceeds $1,000, we also can not assert jazz fans will spend a dominant part of $1,000 in going to the jazz club. In addition, the cost of building and executing a jazz club in Monroe is not mentioned and then being profitable is suspicious.

In sum, unless the arguer makes more thorough market investigate and more sensible plan, we cannot accept the claim that a jazz music club will make money in Monroe. Of course, we have to take the credit into consideration. After all, this is a loan.

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