issue 108(政治类) 电脑崩溃后第一次文章，必回改！

chenxgUID: 183868

没有修改过。现时的文章
Issue108: 534 words 45 minutes
In many countries it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work. Watching these proceedings can help people understand the issues that affect their lives. The more kinds of government proceedings—trials, debates, meetings, etc—that are televised, the more society will benefit.

With development of society, it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries. Because watching these proceeding can help people understand the issues that affect their lives and give government incentive to work hard. Therefore I agree with the position that the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

First of all, watching such proceedings not only can help us understand the issues affecting our lives, but also can increase good influence to society. As well known, although more business than before, we have to spend time to read newspapers and energy to learn about the process of issues made. After all, these issues are affecting our normal lives, it is necessary to learn about the process of making the issues. Now it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries, and it contributes to improving our lives. As the matter, we know how to make certain composing of all kinds of price, such as water price, house price. And we learn about much information why prices include so many components. More importantly, we can realize whether these prices are reasonable or not and what influence will generate to affect our lives. From above, watching these proceedings can help us understand the issues that affect our lives.

Additional, such doing in watching governmental proceeding can bring incentives to work hard for workers of government. With the development of society, some kinds of scandals have happened in different fields. For example in economy field, some scandals have happened in stockjobber, which hide important information about securities to public. As a result, some people know these information get much money, but most people lose money. And in governmental sector, situations that some officials abuse power always happen. Consequently, watching these proceedings can avoid frequency of bad things than before to some extent. On the other hand, workers in governmental sector know that they are watched by public, therefore there will be generated incentives to make them work hard in order to get promotion and lose job because of carelessness.

Furthermore, it becomes possible to provide reasonable advices to government so that government can be more productivity than before. Since we can learn about the issues that affect their lives, it is obviously possible to offer some advices to government. For example, we know the policy that government has adopted in environmental field. Thus we can tell government pollution that we care about and what kind of pollutions are needed to deal with in order that government work effectively and purposively. Such doing can increase effectiveness of job for government, and make government know what public care about. So it becomes possible to make more reasonable policy and plan for government. As the matter, both government and public can benefit from watching these proceeding.

In sum, watching these proceeding on television and viewing government work not only make public benefit from such doing, but also provide incentives to make government work hard. Therefore, the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

sailing_yfUID: 150982

With development of society, it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries. Because watching these proceeding can help people understand the issues that affect their lives and give government incentive to work hard. Therefore I agree with the position that the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

First of all, watching such proceedings not only can help us understand the issues affecting our lives, but also can increase good[换一个favorable] influence to society. As well known, although more business [busier] than before, we have to spend time to read newspapers and energy to learn about the process of issues [how to legitimate] made. After all, these issues are affecting our normal lives, it is necessary to learn about the process of making the issues. Now it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries, and it contributes to improving [improve] our lives. As the matter, we know how to make certain composing of all kinds of price, such as water price, house price. And we learn about much information why prices include so many components. More importantly, we can realize whether these prices are reasonable or not and what influence will generate to affect our lives. From above, watching these proceedings can help us understand the issues that affect our lives.

Additional [additionally用副词吧？], such doing in watching governmental proceeding can bring incentives to work hard for workers of government.[such doing in watching governmental proceeding can bring incentives to worker who serve the government to work hard]With the development of society, some kinds of scandals have happened in different fields. For example in economy field, some scandals have happened in stockjobber, which hide important information about securities to public. As a result, some people know these information get[deceive] much money, but most people lose money. And in governmental sector, situations that some officials abuse power always happen. Consequently, watching these proceedings can avoid frequency of bad things than before to some extent. On the other hand, workers in governmental sector know that they are watched by public, therefore there will be generated incentives to make [render] them work hard in order to get [receive] promotion and lose job because of carelessness.

Furthermore, it becomes possible to provide reasonable advices to government so that government can be more productivity than before. Since we can learn about the issues that affect their lives, it is obviously possible to offer some advices to government. For example, we know the policy that government has adopted in environmental field. Thus we can tell government pollution that we care about and what kind of pollutions are needed to deal with in order that government work effectively and purposively. Such doing can increase effectiveness of job for government, and make government know what public care about. So it becomes possible to make more reasonable policy and plan for government. As the matter, both government and public can benefit from watching these proceeding.

In sum, watching these proceeding on television and viewing government work not only make public benefit from such doing, but also provide incentives to make government work hard. Therefore, the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.
[个人意见：小词用的太多，注意替换]

lunaticUID: 150745

With (the)development of society, it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries. Because watching these proceeding can help people understand the issues that affect their lives and give government incentive to work hard. Therefore I agree with the position that the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

First of all, watching such proceedings not only can help us understand the issues affecting our lives, but also can increase good influence to (our 单数可数名词不能单独存在，要加限定词)society. As (is)well known, although more business than before, we have to spend time reading（to read） newspapers and energy learning(to learn )about the process of issues (最好加个being)made. After all, these issues are affecting our normal lives, it is necessary to learn about the process of making the issues. Now it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries, and it contributes to improving our lives. As the matter, we know how to make certain composing （如何确定所有价格是怎么组成的，所有嘛？）of all kinds of price, such as water price, house price. And we learn about much information why prices include so many components. More importantly, we can realize whether these prices are reasonable or not and what （kind of ）influence will generate to affect our lives. From above, watching these proceedings can help us understand the issues that affect our lives.
主题句说不仅影响我们的生活还影响整个社会，但似乎只支持了前半部分

Additional （ such doing(doings) in watching governmental proceeding can bring incentives to work hard for workers of government. With the development of society, some kinds of scandals have happened in different fields. For example in economy field, some scandals have happened in stockjobber, which hide important information about securities to public As a result, some people know these information get much money, but most people lose money. And in governmental sector, situations that some officials abuse power always happen. Consequently, watching these proceedings can avoid frequency of bad things than before to some extent. On the other hand, workers in governmental sector know that they are watched by public, therefore there will be generated incentives to make them work hard in order to get promotion and lose job because of carelessness.

Furthermore, it becomes possible to provide reasonable advices to government so that government can be more productivity（productive） than before. Since we can learn about the issues that affect their lives, it is obviously possible to offer some advices to government For example, we know the policy that government has adopted in environmental field. Thus we can are needed to deal with in order that government work effectively and purposively. Such doing can increase effectiveness of job for government, and make government know what public care about. So it becomes possible to make more reasonable policy and plan for government. As the matter, both government and public can benefit from watching these proceeding

In sum, watching these proceedings on television and viewing government work not only make public benefit from such doing, but also provide incentives to make government work hard. Therefore, the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

lunaticUID: 150745

With (the)development of society, it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries. Because watching these proceeding can help people understand the issues that affect their lives and give government incentive to work hard. Therefore I agree with the position that the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

First of all, watching such proceedings not only can help us understand the issues affecting our lives, but also can increase good influence to (our 单数可数名词不能单独存在，要加限定词)society. As (is)well known, although more business than before, we have to spend time reading（to read） newspapers and energy learning(to learn )about the process of issues (最好加个being)made. After all, these issues are affecting our normal lives, it is necessary to learn about the process of making the issues. Now it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries, and it contributes to improving our lives. As the matter, we know how to make certain composing （如何确定所有价格是怎么组成的，所有嘛？）of all kinds of price, such as water price, house price. And we learn about much information why prices include so many components. More importantly, we can realize whether these prices are reasonable or not and what （kind of ）influence will generate to affect our lives. From above, watching these proceedings can help us understand the issues that affect our lives.
主题句说不仅影响我们的生活还影响整个社会，但似乎只支持了前半部分

Additional （ such doing(doings) in watching governmental proceeding can bring incentives to work hard for workers of government. With the development of society, some kinds of scandals have happened in different fields. For example in economy field, some scandals have happened in stockjobber, which hide important information about securities to public As a result, some people know these information get much money, but most people lose money. And in governmental sector, situations that some officials abuse power always happen. Consequently, watching these proceedings can avoid frequency of bad things than before to some extent. On the other hand, workers in governmental sector know that they are watched by public, therefore there will be generated incentives to make them work hard in order to get promotion and lose job because of carelessness.

Furthermore, it becomes possible to provide reasonable advices to government so that government can be more productivity（productive） than before. Since we can learn about the issues that affect their lives, it is obviously possible to offer some advices to government For example, we know the policy that government has adopted in environmental field. Thus we can are needed to deal with in order that government work effectively and purposively. Such doing can increase effectiveness of job for government, and make government know what public care about. So it becomes possible to make more reasonable policy（policies）and plan（plans）for government. As the matter, both government and public can benefit from watching these proceeding s

In sum, watching these proceedings on television and viewing government work not only make public benefit from such doing, but also provide incentives to make government work hard. Therefore, the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

lunaticUID: 150745

好多单复数方面的问题啊

chenxgUID: 183868

限时确实比较紧张的，以后一定会注意这个问题，多谢！

alinazhUID: 187151

No.1 issue 108(政治类) 电脑崩溃后第一次文章，必回改！
没有修改过。现时的文章
Issue108: 534 words 45 minutes
In many countries it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work. Watching these proceedings can help people understand the issues that affect their lives. The more kinds of government proceedings—trials, debates, meetings, etc—that are televised, the more society will benefit.

With development of society, it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries. Because watching these proceeding can help people understand the issues that affect their lives and give government incentive to work hard. Therefore I agree with the position that the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

First of all, watching such proceedings not only can help us understand the issues affecting our lives, but also can increase good influence to society. As well known, although more business than before, we have to spend time to read newspapers and energy to learn about the process of issues made.这句话在全段有作用吗？ After all, these issues are affecting our normal lives, it is necessary to learn about the process of making the issues. Now it is now这个now可以删了 possible to turn on the television and view government at work in many countries, and it contributes to improving our lives. As the matter, we know how to make certain composing of all kinds of price, such as water price, house price. And we learn about much information why prices include so many components. More importantly, we can realize whether these prices are reasonable or not and what influence will generate to affect our lives. From above, watching these proceedings can help us understand the issues that affect our lives.你的ts说不是还有good influence to society吗？但是好像你没有怎么说它？还有如果你觉得不太好说，还不如给一些实际的例子， 而且这些例子应该突出是trials, debates, meetings are televised

Additional, such doing in watching governmental proceeding can bring incentives to work hard for workers of government. With the development of society, some kinds of scandals have happened in different fields. For example in economy field, some scandals have happened in stockjobber, which hide important information about securities to public. As a result, some people know these information get much money, but most people lose money. And in governmental sector, situations that some officials abuse power always happen. Consequently, watching these proceedings can avoid frequency of bad things than before to some extent.怎么通过watching避免这些坏事的频率? 我觉得你应该从这方面在说说，让自己的文章更有说服力 On the other hand, workers in governmental sector know that they are watched by public, therefore there will be generated incentives to make them work hard in order to get promotion and lose job because of carelessness.下面的部分说地很透彻。

Furthermore, it becomes possible to provide reasonable advices to government so that government can be more productivity than before. Since we can learn about the issues that affect their lives, it is obviously possible to offer some advices to government. For example, we know the policy that government has adopted in environmental field. Thus we can tell government pollution that we care about and what kind of pollutions are needed to deal with in order that government work effectively and purposively. Such doing can increase effectiveness of job for government, and make government know what public care about. So it becomes possible to make more reasonable policy and plan for government. As the matter, both government and public can benefit from watching these proceeding.这段很清楚，写得好

In sum, watching these proceeding on television and viewing government work not only make public benefit from such doing, but also provide incentives to make government work hard. Therefore, the more kinds of government proceedings in trials, debates, meeting, which are televised, the more society will benefit.

这是我的Issue108， 你也帮我看看吧，谢谢！！
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251882 issue108