Issue5 教育类 第一篇ISSUE，希望大家给予指导和帮助，一定回改且回拍（决不食言）

chenh1207UID: 182826

Issue5 教育类 第一篇ISSUE，希望大家给予指导，我一定回改且回拍（决不食言）
------摘要------
作者：chenh1207     共用时间：73分8秒     632 words
从2005年3月1日1时50分到2005年3月1日3时73分
------题目------
A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.
------提纲-------
态度题（should）
position: qualify
开头：背景＋call for a  balance
正文：
1。从资源的配置和便于管理的角度，写the same 的好处；
2。从因人而异和当地实际的角度，写the different的好处；
结尾：
通过实例论证两者是一个过程的不同的发展阶段，并提出如何让两者更好统一的解决办法。

文章结构：根据不同标准（实际和个人）进行划分，写the same 和the different。
------正文------
With the rapid changes in the society’s demands, every fields have changed tremendously, for example politics, arts, humanities, etc. Such trends have influenced the educational system and asked the government to response quickly to the requirements of the modern society. In these requirements, an important question should be solved in advance, that is whether we should adopt the same curriculum for the whole nation or allowing the different parts of the country to choose their academic course for their own needs. When concerning the benefit-and-cost effects and the different situations, I believe we should call for a balance between the same and different courses.

From the perspectives of fully allocating the educational resources and providing the convenience for the government regulation, a national same curriculum is necessary and indispensable. First, the educational resources include the outstanding text books, experienced teachers and an efficient teaching method. Imagining that when we introduce the same courses, few modifications in the textbooks will be needed to adjust ,such as the revision for the expressions and pronunciations in the different areas. And teachers can easily share their experience and the materials of preparing for lessons in the teaching process, while it is likely impossible for the different curriculum. Meanwhile, the governments will be exempt from the heavy burden to make the different curriculum into an integrity and harmony, so that they can concentrate their energy and establish a whole evaluation system to monitor the performance of the courses and utilize the feedbacks and assessment to improve the national curriculum more purposely and effectively. For example, much cost and time can be saved which would be vastly wasted in the procedure of the national investigations toward the determinations which academic course should be offered. In addition, through the same curriculum the nation might reduce their expenditures on the various editions of the textbooks, so that he will invest more money to improve the experiment equipment and raise the teachers' salary, which are much more efficient.

However at the same time, when considering the students' interests and practical situations of the areas, allowing schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer is not without the evidence and reasons. Just as the motto of the educators (and I paraphrase), the goal of the educating is to foster students' interest and to invoke their desire to pursue the knowledge. So choosing courses which they need means that the authority should arrange the courses for the students' desire and this eventually bring on different curriculums for the different schools, let alone the whole country. Taking the P.E course for an instance, in the areas which is near the sea, most students would prefer the ocean activities such as the surfing and the sand volleyball, while in the circumstance of the mountains or valleys they probably choose the rock-climbing for their favorite sports. Meanwhile as far as my high school is concerned, the school consists of students form different parts of the province, who existed a gap in their oral English performance and maybe the reason is due to the fact that in the poor areas the primary schools lack the enough equipments (such as the tape recorders) and are in a poor position to employ the foreigners to teach the students, which is a crucial factor to the improvement of the oral English. So my school president decided to apply two different oral English curriculums in the first years for two different levels which encourage the good to better understand and the poor to catch up. Finally he achieved a good and impressive outcome to equalize the different levels of the students. And in the second year, we could have the same oral English courses to study and take the same exams to fully evaluate the whole students.

As the real experience in my high school, we can balance the same and different curriculum depending on the physical areas and students inclinations. Overrating the same can damage the varieties of the students and neglect the limit of the different circumstances; otherwise overrating the difference can cause a finical burden to the government and waste the current educational resources. A good solution might be that in the beginning of the curriculum we require all the students to study the same courses to provide the equal and necessary foundations for their future development and then give them freedom to choose and study for their interests and favorites.

chenh1207UID: 182826

这是我上GTER半个月来的第一篇，希望大家批评。
犹豫了两天终于动笔了，对于我来说真是让人激动，毕竟这是走向成功的第一步，我会继续努力的！
愿大家成功！

chenh1207UID: 182826

自己顶一下吧！
希望有人来看！把你的文章连接放在签名里，我马上就看！

chenh1207UID: 182826

upUPUPUP!
太想得到大家的意见了！

TommUID: 177042

------题目------
A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.
------提纲-------
态度题（should）
position: qualify
开头：背景＋call for a balance
正文：
1。从资源的配置和便于管理的角度，写the same 的好处；
2。从因人而异和当地实际的角度，写the different的好处；
结尾：
通过实例论证两者是一个过程的不同的发展阶段，并提出如何让两者更好统一的解决办法。

文章结构：根据不同标准（实际和个人）进行划分，写the same 和the different。
------正文------
With the rapid changes in the(the特指什么？) society’s demands, every fields have changed tremendously, for example(看看金山词霸美国传统词典中有for example，里面有该处标点的用法) politics, arts, humanities, etc. Such trends have influenced the educational system and asked the government to response(response can be a verb? You meant respond or react?) quickly to the requirements of the modern society. In these requirements, an important question should be solved in advance, that is whether we should adopt the(a, 这个统一课程还没出来吧。) same curriculum for the whole nation or allowing(allow) the (这个the有点多余)different parts of the country to choose their academic course for their own needs. When concerning(前面有个when了，就不用加ing了，这是一个句子) the benefit-and-cost effects(effect) and the different situations, I believe we should call for a balance between the same and different courses(curriculum，this one is the centerpiece, not courses).

From the perspectives (singular perspective)of fully allocating the educational resources and providing the convenience for the government regulation, a national same (same national)curriculum is necessary and indispensable. First, the educational resources include the(多余) outstanding text books, experienced teachers and an (这里的单数有点别扭)efficient teaching method. Imagining that when we introduce the same courses, few (比较级fewer)modifications in the textbooks will be needed to adjust, such as the revision for the(多余) expressions and pronunciations in the (多余)different areas. And teachers can easily share their experience and the materials of preparing for lessons in the teaching process, while it is likely impossible for the(多余) different curriculum(plural, curricula). Meanwhile, the governments(题目里面讲的是由不同的学校来决定而不是由政府) will be exempt(exempted) from the heavy burden to make the different curriculum into an integrity and harmony, so that they can concentrate their energy and (递进关系，to)establish a whole evaluation system to monitor (measure)the performance(复数) of the courses and utilize the feedbacks and assessment to improve the national curriculum more purposely and effectively. For example, much cost and time can be saved which would be vastly wasted in the procedure of the national investigations toward the determinations which academic course should be offered. In addition, through the (a)same curriculum the nation might reduce their expenditures on the various editions of the textbooks, so that he(it) will invest more money to improve the experiment equipment and raise the(多余) teachers' salary, which are much more efficient. (（这样说，个人感觉有点突兀。其实，你那个which可以不说，你说了，给人误会，以为你的立场更偏向站在政府统一制定教学计划一边，more efficient。你把这样课程的的好处说出来了就够了。)

However at the same time, when considering(when后面是一个句子，不用ing) the students' interests and practical situations of the areas, allowing schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer is not without(in defect of, 查查字典，好像without没有这样用的 ) the(多余) evidence and reasons. Just as the motto of the educators (and I paraphrase), the goal of the educating is to foster students' interest(复数) and to invoke their desire to pursue the knowledge. (这个motto用的不错)So choosing courses which they need means that the authority should arrange the courses for the students' desire and this eventually bring on different curriculums for the different schools, let alone the whole country. Taking the P.E course for an instance, in the areas which is near the sea, most students would prefer the ocean activities such as the surfing and the sand volleyball, while in the circumstance of the mountains or valleys they probably choose the rock-climbing for their favorite sports. Meanwhile as far as my high school is concerned, the school consists of students form (from小笔误吧？)different parts of the province, who existed(这个句子表述有问题，如果我来说那么，some of them can speak fabulous oral English while some of them are not that excellent in doing that, 另外我想说一句，你这个例子的假设前提是大家都不是英语母语的人，所以在口语方面的表现不一样，但是如果改卷人是美国人，如果突然同他提到oral english,　他估计首先会想，晕！还有些人在高中了说话能力还不一样！对他来说这样会不会很突兀？而且不要企望他得到你的卷子的时候已经知道你是外国人了。建议你加个假设，或者不要在这里用英语，直接说their abilities in speaking a foreign language are different) a gap in their oral English performance and maybe the reason is due to the fact that in the poor areas the primary schools lack the enough equipments (such as the tape recorders) and are in a poor position to employ the foreigners to teach the students, which is a crucial factor to the improvement of the oral English. So my school president decided to apply two different oral English curriculums in the first years for two different levels which encourage the good(ones. 附加一句，这里说good感觉有点歧视，你可以说good speaker) to better understand and the poor to catch up. Finally he achieved a good and impressive outcome to equalize the different levels of the students. And in the second year, we could have the same oral English courses to study and take the same exams to fully evaluate the whole(all the) students.

As the real experience in my high school, we can balance the same and different curriculum depending on the physical areas( physical areas指什吗意思？) and students(‘) inclinations. Overrating (overemphasize)the same(identity) can damage the varieties of the students and neglect the limit of the different circumstances; otherwise overrating the difference can cause a finical burden to the government and waste the current educational resources. A good solution might be that in(at) the beginning of the curriculum we require all the students to study the same courses to provide the equal and necessary foundations for their future development and then give them freedom to choose and study for their interests and favorites.

(IMO, dude!
As my first impression, you just used too much “THE” in you text and many of them were wrongly placed. I will colorize several of the misplaced “THE” and left the rest for your own -- They are too many.

Second, since you mentioned at the end of the first paragraph that you would be using the BCM (short for Benefit/Cost Method) to analyze this problem, a conclusion analysis with the BCM is supposed to show up at the end of your writing, which does not apparently appear.

Third, I think one of crucial points in the topic is THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE NATION, that’s what you should place you emphasis on. Like the culture variety or the language variety or other regional difference. When you came to argue the free-curriculum in your third paragraph, you just put your point on the interests of the students. It seems to me a little bit of deviation there.

Forth, I don’t think it is a better idea to give a practical solution at the end of your paper. I don’t see any relation or logical connection between your preceding part with this solution and I am gonna ask how it comes? My suggestion is to give an more abstract solution like we should make a curriculum scheme according to the real situation with consideration of both …….

恩，语言不错，很规整正统的文字，很好的语感。
)

jaojieUID: 195494

句法上我也不多说了,随便说点自己的想法吧：）
章结构：根据不同标准（实际和个人）进行划分，写the same 和the different。
------正文------
With the rapid changes in the society’s demands, every fields have changed tremendously, for example politics, arts, humanities, etc. Such trends have influenced the educational system and asked the government to response quickly to the requirements of the modern society. In these requirements, an important question should be solved in advance, that is whether we should adopt the same curriculum for the whole nation or allowing the different parts of the country to choose their academic course for their own needs. When concerning the benefit-and-cost effects and the different situations, I believe we should call for a balance between the same and different courses.（如果是实战，开头可再简些，清晰就可）

From the perspectives of fully allocating the educational resources and providing the convenience for the government regulation, a national same curriculum is necessary and indispensable. （主题句不错）First, the educational resources include the outstanding text books, experienced teachers and an efficient teaching method. Imagining that when we introduce the same courses, few modifications in the textbooks will be needed to adjust ,such as the revision for the expressions and pronunciations in the different areas. And teachers can easily share their experience and the materials of preparing for lessons in the teaching process, while it is likely impossible for the different curriculum. Meanwhile, the governments will be exempt from the heavy burden to make the different curriculum into an integrity and harmony, so that they can concentrate their energy and establish a whole evaluation system to monitor the performance of the courses and utilize the feedbacks and assessment to improve the national curriculum more purposely and effectively. For example, much cost and time can be saved which would be vastly wasted in the procedure of the national investigations toward the determinations which academic course should be offered. In addition, through the same curriculum the nation might reduce their expenditures on the various editions of the textbooks, so that he （指谁？）will invest more money to improve the experiment equipment and raise the teachers' salary, which are much more efficient.

However at the same time, when considering the students' interests and practical situations of the areas, allowing schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer is not without the evidence and reasons. （这个就不如第一个了）Just as the motto of the educators (and I paraphrase), the goal of the educating is to foster students' interest and to invoke their desire to pursue the knowledge. So choosing courses which they need means that the authority should arrange the courses for the students' desire and this eventually bring on different curriculums for the different schools, let alone the whole country. Taking the P.E course for an instance, in the areas which is near the sea, most students would prefer the ocean activities such as the surfing and the sand volleyball, while in the circumstance of the mountains or valleys they probably choose the rock-climbing for their favorite sports. Meanwhile as far as my high school is concerned, the school consists of students form different parts of the province, who existed a gap in their oral English performance and maybe the reason is due to the fact that in the poor areas the primary schools lack the enough equipments (such as the tape recorders) and are in a poor position to employ the foreigners to teach the students, which is a crucial factor to the improvement of the oral English. So my school president decided to apply two different oral English curriculums in the first years for two different levels which encourage the good to better understand and the poor to catch up. Finally he achieved a good and impressive outcome to equalize the different levels of the students. And in the second year, we could have the same oral English courses to study and take the same exams to fully evaluate the whole students. （例子支持即可，主要是分析例子支持论点重要，不必太详细，花太多笔墨）

As the real experience in my high school, we can balance the same and different curriculum depending on the physical areas and students inclinations. Overrating the same can damage the varieties of the students and neglect the limit of the different circumstances; otherwise overrating the difference can cause a finical burden to the government and waste the current educational resources. A good solution might be that in the beginning of the curriculum we require all the students to study the same courses to provide the equal and necessary foundations for their future development and then give them freedom to choose and study for their interests and favorites
总的来说，语言能力不错，还有那么久才考，一定行得，加油！