issue185 交作业 同主题写作~

so猫UID: 148633

185. "Scandals whether in politics, academia, or other areas can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker that scandals in politics, academia and other areas can be useful since they are efficient in concentrating the attention of individuals towards problems. However, the function of scandals should not be overrated as the speaker implies in the above topic.

Compared with other normal methods to spread news and means to discover the social problems, scandals are surely the best way to focus the attention of populations in the shortest time and to greatest extent. For supporting examples, one needs no further to turn to daily newspapers and CNN channel on which scandals happening in every corner of the earth. Scandals arouse the curiosity of people to penetrating the events which are usually mysterious for them and the people who are always respected as saint; thus the hidden problems are coming aboveboard soon after the national or even worldwide discussion and criticism about the events. Take the scandal of Enron for example. The worldwide investigation and censorship related to treating and lying in the making budget and account books are burgeoning after the disclosure of Enron. At the very moment nations and common people have the awareness of cherishing the candor and maintaining the clarity of the commercial marketing. From this point of view, the contribution of scandals is beyond all imagination of reformers and governments.

However, unfortunately scandals are not utilized as the means to discovering problems therefore seeking for truth. More often they simply serve as the entertainment to fill individuals' curiosity to penetrate into others and the talking stuff between friends. Based on my personal experience, what I concerned in the whole events of the scandals are more related to how the people in trouble would react and what "funny" expression they would have when facing this tragedy. In the scandals of Watergate, how many people on earth focus more their attention on the future of American government rather than the future life of Nixon who fell down to the ground from the sky? I am afraid that few people have the full confident to say yes. Also, thousands of articles, interview, and rolls have shown that in the scandals of ex-president Bill Clinton, the ordinary are more interested in details of the whole events, but the solution to solve the problem and the loss of the respect and trust upon government and political leaders. In short words, scandals, although arouse the concerns and conscience of the common on problems, they rarely bring more information and inspiration to solve the troubles.

Therefore, some scandals are utilized by several people to create a fake phenomenon to turn the population's focus on other issues or peripheral information of the problems rather than the core themselves. For example, the academic scandals of the "perfection treatment" with the data in several Chinese laboratories are titled more related with the morale and study habits of individual student who committed these unforgivable mistakes. People concerned more about the personal experience to influence the true-or-false standards and the prior motives why he/she chose the dangerous way; thus they overlook the responsibility of professors and the laboratory since they neglect the hidden problems lying in the papers and the process of treatment of data. In fact, some professors, in later investigation of the scandals, were blaming all the mistakes to the students; at the same time, they were threatening the students to keep silence about the responsibility the laboratory should have taken. The ordinary people are easily fooled by tremendous useless information and were made blind to find the truth and core information of the problems.

In all, the scandals are the efficient tools to assemble the popular focus towards one issue or event in most areas; yet they can contribute little to further investigation and profound understanding into them-- at least for the common people. Oppositely, the scandals may be used to fool the population and lead the trends of the ordinary into the wrong road. Therefore, when facing with scandals, one has to maintain clear and calm till the facts are found at last.

逃课一节来写的
中间被别人打断10分钟 所以又没有计算时间
大概写了50-55分的样子(加上打断的那10分钟差不多一个小时)
又失败了 sigh
700字 除了语法和拼写什么都没改
提纲是昨天想好的 今天直接写的
果然是写的顺畅了很多~

来交作业
菠萝 pooh 鬼鬼 都来抱抱~~~

鬼谷子UID: 159645

辛苦辛苦
给猫猫看看
菠萝怎么还没来呢

龙非UID: 193190

先占个位置

龙非UID: 193190

I fundamentally agree with the speaker that scandals in politics, academia and other areas can be useful since they are efficient in concentrating the attention of individuals towards problems. However, the function of scandals should not be overrated as the speaker implies in the above topic. 纵观全篇之后，觉得这里如果点出它们的问题（没有用来解决问题反而是被利用来转移问题）会更好，之外speaker有暗示overrate吗？只是说can be useful而已:)

Compared with other normal methods to spread news and means to discover the social problems, scandals are surely the best way to focus the attention of populations 应该有个on sth，单独这样用地比较少in the shortest time and to greatest extent. For supporting examples, one needs no further to turn to daily newspapers and CNN channel on which scandals happening 缺少谓语，happen，而且读起来也怪怪地，定语从句用错，没理由scandals happen on newspapers in every corner of the earth. Scandals arouse the curiosity of people to penetrating penetrate the events which are usually mysterious for 用for吗？感觉是to them and the people who are always respected as saint; thus Thus the hidden problems are coming aboveboard 色彩不是很对，aboveboard 光明正大地soon after the national or even worldwide discussion and criticism about the events 个人感觉加上the people跟前面呼应会更好 . Take the scandal of Enron for example. The worldwide investigation and censorship related to treating and lying in the making budget and account books are burgeoning after the disclosure of Enron. At the very moment nations and common people have the awareness of cherishing the candor and maintaining the clarity of the commercial marketing. From this point of view, the contribution contributionsof scandals is beyond all imagination of reformers and governments.

However, unfortunately scandals are not utilized as the means to discovering problems therefore discovering和seeking之间没有因果关系，用therefor不恰当 seeking for truth. More often they simply serve as the entertainment to fill individuals' curiosity to penetrate into others and the talking stuff between friends. Based on my personal experience, what I concerned in the whole events of the scandals are is more related to how the people in trouble would react and what "funny" expression they would have when facing this tragedy. In the scandals of Watergate 常用Watergate cover-up或Watergate scandal，很少见到the scandals of, how many people on earth focus more their attention on the future of American government rather than the future life of Nixon who fell down to the ground from the sky? I am afraid that few people have the full confident to say yes. Also, thousands of articles, interview, and rolls have shown that in the scandals of ex-president Bill Clinton, the ordinary are more interested in details of the whole events, but than the solution to solve the problem and the loss of the respect and trust upon government and political leaders. In short words, scandals, although arouse the concerns and conscience of the common on problems, they rarely bring more information and inspiration to solve the troubles. 这一段TS写得不好，应该是没有用来解决问题，而不是没有用来发现问题，B1已经说了是the best way of 发现问题

Therefore 这里用moreover之类的表示递进关系的连接词会更好，因为B2说没有用来解决问题，然后B3进一步说还被利用来转移问题, some scandals are utilized by several people to create a fake phenomenon to turn the population's focus on other issues or peripheral information of the problems rather than the core ofthemselves. For example, the academic scandals of the "perfection treatment" with the data in several Chinese laboratories are titled more related with the morale and study habits of individual student who committed these unforgivable mistakes. People concerned more about the personal experience to influence the true-or-false standards and the prior motives why he/she chose the dangerous way; thus they overlook the responsibility of professors and the laboratory since they neglect the hidden problems lying in the papers and the process of treatment of data. In fact, some professors, in later investigation of the scandals, were blaming all the mistakes to the students; at the same time, they were threatening the students to keep silence about the responsibility the laboratory should have taken. The ordinary people are easily fooled by tremendous useless information and
were made blind to find the truth and core information of the problems.

In all, the scandals are the efficient tools to assemble the popular focus towards one issue or event in most areas; yet they can contribute little to further investigation and profound understanding into them-- at least for the common people. Oppositely, the scandals may be used to fool the population and lead the trends of the ordinary into the wrong road. Therefore, when facing with scandals, one has to maintain clear and calm till the facts are found at last.

整体来说，还是不错的，显示了语言功底，逻辑也可以，但是因为是限时，一些错误没能注意到。加油！！

apolloxpUID: 156355

收到，晚上来看

so猫UID: 148633

先谢谢龙非同学~
然后闪~

yogurt4UID: 198389

Based on my personal experience, what I concerned in the whole events of the scandals are好象是is 吧 more related to how the people in trouble would react and what "funny" expression they would have when facing this tragedy.

莫名NUID: 146481

猫猫果然还是很厉害
偶还得多看两篇文章才能给你挑错
加油哦;)

apolloxpUID: 156355

185. "Scandals whether in politics, academia, or other areas can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker that scandals in politics, academia and other areas can be useful since they are efficient in concentrating the attention of individuals towards problems. However, the function of scandals should not be overrated as the speaker implies in the above topic.没有单纯地同意或反对，而是提出了自己的看法。全文的重点其实放在了scandal的负面作用上

Compared with other normal methods to spread news and means to discover the social problems, scandals are surely the best way to focus the attention of populations in the shortest time and to greatest extent.既然下文没有任何对比，那么Compared with other normal methods这些词就落空了。可以干脆删掉 For supporting examples, one needs no further to turn to daily newspapers and CNN channel on which scandals happening in every corner of the earth.从句错误没有谓语，happening---->happen Scandals arouse the curiosity of people to penetrating感觉这里应该用动词原型 the events which are usually mysterious for them and the people who are always respected as saintsaints. be respected as？不太确定这种用法。; thus the hidden problems are coming aboveboard soon after the national or even worldwide discussion and criticism about the events. Take the scandal of Enron for example. The worldwide investigation and censorship related to treatingcheating —_—| and lying in the making budget and account books are burgeoninghad bugeoned after the disclosure of Enron. At the very moment nations and common people have猫儿要注意时态啊，过去时  the awareness of 觉得改成began to realize the neccessity of比较好  cherishing the candor这里不要用定冠词，没有特指哪种candor，另外这里为什么用candor(直率)，如果是指人我觉得该是integrity才对啊 and maintaining the clarity这个词用得也不舒服，暂时想不出怎么改 of the commercial marketing两个词都有贸易的意思，重复了。改成commercial activities. From this point of view, the contribution of scandals is beyond all imagination of reformers and governments.

However, unfortunately两个副词在句首，不合语法。建议拿掉however，unfortunately还是给人一点转折意味的 scandals are not 从下午看来，这里应该加个always。are not alwaysutilized as the means toof？ discovering problems therefore seeking for truth. More often they simply serve as the entertainment to fillsatisty？ individuals' curiosity to penetrate into others and the talking stuff between friends. Based on my personal experience, what I concerned in the whole events of the scandals are more related to how the people in trouble would react and what "funny" expression they would have when facing this tragedy.这句没看懂 In the scandals of Watergate其实也可以举些别的例子，水门事件有点快用滥的感觉, how many people on earth focus more their attention on the future of American government rather than the future life of Nixon who fell down to the ground from the sky? I am afraid that few people have the full confident to say yes. Also, thousands of articles, interviewinterviews, and rolls have shown that in the scandals of ex-president Bill Clinton, the ordinary are more interested in details of the whole events, but the solution to solve the problem and the loss of the respect and trust upon government and political leaders. In short words, scandals, although arouse the concerns and conscience of the common on problems, they rarely bring more information and inspiration to solve the troubles.

Therefore, some scandals are utilized by several people to createmake up a fake phenomenon to turn看看distract是不是更合适 the population's focus on other issues or peripheral information of the problems rather than the core themselves. For example, the academic scandals of the "perfection treatment" with the data in several Chinese laboratories are titled more related with the morale and study habits of individual student who committedhave committed有个时间上的先后关系，用完成时 these unforgivable mistakes. People concerned more about the personal experience to influence the true-or-false standards and the prior motives why he/she chose the dangerous way; thus they overlook the responsibility of professors and the laboratory since they neglect the hidden problems lying in the papers and the process of treatment of data.应突出人们是被有意蒙蔽的，而不是自身认识能力造成的 In fact, some professors, in later investigation of the scandals, were blaming all the mistakes to the students搭配应该是blame sb for sth; at the same time, they were threatening the students to keep silence about the responsibility the laboratory should have taken. The ordinary people are easily fooled by tremendous useless information and were made blind to find the truth and core information of the problems.

In all, the scandals are the efficient tools to assemble the popular focus towards one issue or event in most areas; yet they can contribute little to further investigation and profound understanding into them-- at least for the common people.最好明确指出丑闻的负面作用在于转移了公众的视线 Oppositelyon the other hand？, the scandals may be used to fool the population and lead the trends of the ordinary into the wrong road. Therefore, when facing with scandals, one has to maintain clear and calm till the facts are found at last.

逃课一节来写的
中间被别人打断10分钟 所以又没有计算时间
大概写了50-55分的样子(加上打断的那10分钟差不多一个小时)
又失败了 sigh
700字 除了语法和拼写什么都没改
提纲是昨天想好的 今天直接写的
果然是写的顺畅了很多~

来交作业
菠萝 pooh 鬼鬼 都来抱抱~~~
说下总体印象吧。本文重点放在了scandal的负面作用上，思路比较清楚有说理有例证，scandal的例子其实不难举。

第一段中主题句表述有问题，没有体现出全文的侧重点。乍一看，还以为你要写成折中或是让步同意之类。结尾对本文的概括基本到位，但最后一句有些突兀。因为通篇在说一件比较public的问题，最后一句却扯到个人头上去了。

此外，全文的一些用词感觉缺乏推敲用得不合适。时态上也不够仔细。不过，这些问题如果能注意起来的话还算不难解决

so猫UID: 148633

谢谢菠萝
看来我的任务还非常艰巨~~~
谢谢啦再次~