issue4 对逻辑把握不准，请大家帮忙看看。必回改^_^

hazechenUID: 197677

Nowadays, with the progress of science and technology, there is more and more prevailing trend that many fields of study are interacting with each other and mutually bringing their knowledge and experience to promote the advancement of each other. However, in my view, it is illegitimate to say that without those outsiders, no field of discipline can advance significantly.
   Admittedly, knowledge and experience of researches in other fields of study are necessary to any field of study in order to bring a broader perspective and creative mind, which can effectively propel the progress and development of that field of study. Take Daniel Kahnman, a preeminent psychologist, for example. He won Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002 for having integrated insights from psychological research into economic science, especially concerning human judgment and decision-making under uncertainty. He adequately considered the impact of psychological factor on decision-making and paid attention to the irrational aspect of human behavior, which made the analysis of economic behavior more realistically. In belief, He applied his knowledge of psychology to traditional economics and inaugurated the new area of study in economics.
   However, it is unpersuasive to say that only outsiders in other fields of study can impel the progress of any field of study significantly, otherwise there is no progress in the field of study. The experts and scholars in any field of study can use their own knowledge and methods to bring the meaningful advancement to their realm of study, which is the mainstream to the progress of any field of disciplines in the past and even at present. History is replete of those examples. For example, James Tobin, an outstanding economist and also a Nobel Prize winner in economics, developed portfolio selection theory and a general equilibrium theory for financial and real asserts; analyzed the interaction between financial and real markets. His studies constituted a major breakthrough in the integration of real and financial conditions in central economic theory and consequently impel the advancement of economics significantly.
   While with the advancement of technology and science in contemporary society, there is no doubt that different disciplines are interrelated and that the knowledge of one field can shed light on the studies of other fields. More and more useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions come out by sharing and interaction among scholars in different fields of study. The collaboration among all scholars in different fields of discipline is bringing us meaningful and significant development of various disciplines and even the progress of whole science and society.
   To sum up, although the outsiders with knowledge and experience can take another perspective to effectively prompt one field of discipline in certain way, the scholars in their fields can and constantly make more contributions to their realm. Considering trend of modern science and technology, it is meaning for the cooperation of both of them to contribute together to the progress of science and whole society.

ponponUID: 181304

Nowadays, with the progress of science and technology, there is amore and more prevailing trend that many fields of study are interacting with each other and mutually bringing their knowledge and experiences to promote the advancement of each other. However, in my view, it is illegitimate词性过重inproper to say that without those outsiders, no field of discipline can advance significantly.
Admittedly, knowledge and experience of researches in other fields of study are necessary to any field of study in order to bring a broader perspective and creative mind, which can effectively propel the progress and development of that field of study. Take Daniel Kahnman, a preeminent psychologist, for example. He won Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002 for having integrated insights from psychological research into economic science, especially concerning human judgment and decision-making under uncertainty. He adequately considered the impact of psychological factor on decision-making and paid attention to the irrational aspect of human behavior, which made the analysis of economic behavior more realistically. In belief, He applied his knowledge of psychology to traditional economics and inaugurated the new area of study in economics.太多的让步了，最好一提而过，否则影响主论点，或者把这些简单些放在后面
However, it is unpersuasive to say that only outsiders in other fields of study can impel the progress of any field of study significantly, otherwise there is no progress in the field of study. The experts and scholars in any field of study can use their own knowledge and methods to bring the meaningful advancement to their realm of study, which is the mainstream to the progress of any field of disciplines in the past and even at present. History is replete of those examples. For example, James Tobin, an outstanding economist and also a Nobel Prize winner in economics, developed portfolio selection theory and a general equilibrium theory for financial and real asserts; analyzed the interaction between financial and real markets. His studies constituted a major breakthrough in the integration of real and financial conditions in central economic theory and consequently impel the advancement of economics significantly.
用词和语言确实很丰富，向你学习
While with the advancement of technology and science in contemporary society, there is no doubt that different disciplines are interrelated and that the knowledge of one field can shed light on the studies of other fields. More and more useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions come out by sharing and interaction among scholars in different fields of study. The collaboration among all scholars in different fields of discipline is bringing us meaningful and significant development of various disciplines and even the progress of whole science and society.这一段是对第二段的重复，建议再提出一个分论点
To sum up, although the outsiders with knowledge and experience can take another perspective to effectively prompt one field of discipline in certain way, the scholars in their fields can and constantly make more contributions to their realm. Considering trend of modern science and technology, it is meaning for the cooperation of both of them to contribute together to the progress of science and whole society.

restartingUID: 195448

你的思路：
观点：并不是只有其它的学科的介入，本学科才能够得到发展。
分论点1：其它学科的介入，确实使学科能够得到发展。
分论点2：没有其它学科的介入，本学科也能够发展。
分论点3： 要把这两种方式结合起来，本学科才能够真正发展。

光从这些思路上来看，逻辑上是没有问题的。
但是只要你深入分析，觉得还是有非常大的漏洞的：
就拿分论点2来说，你举得是Dubin的例子，经济学家自己也能够使本学科得到发展，但是Dubin应该早于Kahnmen的吧。原先的经济学是在本学科范围之内发展，这在以前有很多例子。但是随着科技的进步，学科之间交叉才出现。这有一个时间序列差错的问题。所以这个例子站不住脚的。
而且这样的论点光用一个例子来支持，多少显得比较单薄。

hazechenUID: 197677

谢谢ponpon的意见，我会考虑修改

to restarting mm：呵呵，我的第三个观点是现在的趋势是两者的结合推动单学科的发展
其实整个总论点就是不能排除本学科的学者专家也能推动有意义的进步
但就是第2个分论点的例子实在不好举
昨天晚上不是问了你很久了么？
或者事实上现在的情况真的是各学科的合作才能推动学科进步了？

龙非UID: 193190

haze,我来了～～～，由于语言不是我强项，我就着重给你看逻辑啦
。此外，以后发文章，每段空一行，方便其他人看，这是行规：）
Nowadays, with the progress of science and technology, there is more and more prevailing trend that many fields of study are interacting with each other and mutually bringing their knowledge and experience to promote the advancement of each other. However, in my view, it is illegitimate to say that without those outsiders, no field of discipline can advance significantly.

Admittedly, knowledge and experience of researches in other fields of study are necessary to any field of study in order to bring a broader perspective and creative mind, which can effectively propel the progress and development of that field of study. Take Daniel Kahnman, a preeminent psychologist, for example. He won Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002 for having integrated insights from psychological research into economic science, especially concerning human judgment and decision-making under uncertainty. He adequately considered the impact of psychological factor on decision-making and paid attention to the irrational aspect of human behavior, which made the analysis of economic behavior more realistically. In belief, He applied his knowledge of psychology to traditional economics and inaugurated the new area of study in economics.
这一段分论点起得不是很好，用了个necessary，那么接下来都不用再证了:D
However, it is unpersuasive to say that only outsiders in other fields of study can impel the progress of any field of study significantly, otherwise there is no progress in the field of study. The experts and scholars in any field of study can use their own knowledge and methods to bring the meaningful advancement to their realm of study, which is the mainstream to the progress of any field of disciplines in the past and even at present. History is replete of those examples. For example, James Tobin, an outstanding economist and also a Nobel Prize winner in economics, developed portfolio selection theory and a general equilibrium theory for financial and real asserts; analyzed the interaction between financial and real markets. His studies constituted a major breakthrough in the integration of real and financial conditions in central economic theory and consequently impel the advancement of economics significantly.
这个分论点也有问题，题目说的是没有其它领域的知识，本领域很难取得重大发展，但是你的分论点本意是要否定这种说法，但是表述却成了“不是只有其它领域才可以推动本领域的发展”，这两个意思是不一致的，你体会一下。
While with the advancement of technology and science in contemporary society, there is no doubt that different disciplines are interrelated and that the knowledge of one field can shed light on the studies of other fields. More and more useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions come out by sharing and interaction among scholars in different fields of study. The collaboration among all scholars in different fields of discipline is bringing us meaningful and significant development of various disciplines and even the progress of whole science and society.
这一段对论证你的观点用处不大

To sum up, although the outsiders with knowledge and experience can take another perspective to effectively prompt one field of discipline in certain way, the scholars in their fields can and constantly make more contributions to their realm. Considering trend of modern science and technology, it is meaning for the cooperation of both of them to contribute together to the progress of science and whole society.
总结说本领域的学者make a ore contributions跟题目是不相关的，题目没有说外领域的贡献大:D

总的来说，恕我直言，确实比较乱，主要还是对题目的理解不够清楚，你再看看

hazechenUID: 197677

非常感谢龙非
真是一针见血啊
真的很羡慕你文章紧紧围绕中心的感觉
当时写的时候确实觉得很混乱
或许以后我应该按常规的观点来写
比较特殊的观点首先我自己就不能说服我自己
相应逻辑也混乱了