argument 1 我的第一篇，请多多指点^_^

xuyingkamrUID: 168661

题目：1。The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

我的文章：
We learn from this memorandum that the vice president of Nature's Way decide to open a new store in Plainsville baseing on such facial facts that the sales of running shoes and exercises clothing are at all-time highs and the local health club are full of people and Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a "fitness for life" program. When we take a close scrutiny into the memo we will find that there are some logistic mistakes lacking considerate ratiocination in it.

First of all, the vice president simply assert that the new store in Plainsville will make much profit because previous experience suggested that their stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. As we all know, a store will make money just when the income it earns is much more that the cost it spends. We have no idea of Plainsvilles economic situation from the memo and maybe the rent or the price of the ground is much higher than the areas Nature's Way used to open stores and probably the company does not have the ability to afford the cost.

Secondly, the vice president does not mention whether there are any other stores selling the similar healthy products or foods as Nature's Way do. It is a high probability that there already exist some successful healthy stores selling products concerned with health and have a steady source of customs. If so, the vice president does not compare their own products with those of other stores and have no idea which ones are better and can cater to the customs to a high degree. Furthermore, we have no research reports showing that local people are more willing to buy the products of Nature's Way other than those of the successful stores which have been in Plainsville for a long time and have a good reputation.

Thirdly, the vice president does not make a investigation of the consuming habits of local people. We should not neglect the possibility that local people are exactly highly concerned with leading healthy lives but the products Nature's Way provides do not cater to the local residents. People have various habits in different place, so maybe the style and function of the products or the foods exactly satisfy people in some other places but are not popular in Plainsville.

To sum up, the facts the vice presidents mentions are not sufficient and can not lend any substantial support to building a new store in Plainsville. To make a big profit as far as we can, we still need to do more detailed market investigation related to the keys we mentioned.

xuyingkamrUID: 168661

很长时间不写，手生了，打字也慢，超时10分钟，总共444字，望大家多多砸砖 ^_^

请问一下“基于。。。”怎么用英语表达呢?

xuyingkamrUID: 168661

修改了一下，把第二和第四段对调了，并在修改后的第二段和第三段加上了原题目中涉及到的具体问题，but语句还是很naive，有些地方还重复了
欢迎讨论 ^_^

We learn from this memorandum that the conclusion the vice president made to open a new store in Plainsville is based on such facial facts that the sales of running shoes and exercises clothing are at all-time highs and the local health club are full of people and Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a "fitness for life" program. When we take a close scrutiny into the memo we will find that there are some logistic mistakes lacking considerate ratiocination in it.

First of all, the vice president does not make a investigation of the consuming habits of local people. We should not neglect the possibility that local people are exactly highly concerned with leading healthy lives but the products Nature's Way provides do not cater to the local residents. People have various habits in different place, so maybe the style and function of the products or the foods exactly satisfy people in some other places but are not popular in Plainsville. Moreover, that running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs does not mean that other types of healthy products could also have such a good sale and people who participate in the weight training and aerobics classes probably do not have the interests in NW's products. In addition, the facts the vice presidents mentioned have nothing to do with healthy foods, so how could he draw a conclusion that the healthy foods will definitely be popular in that area?

Secondly, the vice president does not mention whether there are any other stores selling the similar healthy products or foods as Nature's Way do. It is a high probability that there already exist some successful healthy stores selling products concerned with health and have a steady source of customs. If so, the vice president does not compare their own products with those of other stores and have no idea which ones are better and can cater to the customs to a high degree. Furthermore, we have no research reports showing that local people are more willing to buy the products of Nature's Way other than those of the successful stores which have been in Plainsville for a long time and have a good reputation. Also, the "fitness for life" program which local students participate in has an appointed agent that provides related products.

Thirdly, the vice president simply assert that the new store in Plainsville will make much profit because previous experience suggested that their stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. As we all know, a store will make money just when the income it earns is much more that the cost it spends. We have no idea of Plainsvilles economic situation from the memo and maybe the rent or the price of the ground is much higher than the areas Nature's Way used to open stores and probably the company does not have the ability to afford the cost.

To sum up, the facts the vice presidents mentions are not sufficient and can not lend any substantial support to building a new store in Plainsville. To make a big profit as far as we can, we still need to do more detailed market investigation related to the keys we mentioned.

晨曦UID: 177893

如果没人看，试试看多改两篇别人的，既是借鉴学习，也是熟悉人口，才能有人来帮你呢。

作文论坛强调的是互动，而不是义务啦。认真就会有进步哦，不管是改别人的还是写自己的

偶是局外人，说这个话可能方便些。勿见怪。错了算我的。

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