issue53 高频题！原汁原味的！欢迎以砖头与我切磋！！

mada7982UID: 196720

完全在限时状态下完成，留了五分钟时间检查，完成后没有作任何润色，括号内为改正的几个错字。渴望你的砖头呀！
作者：mada7982     共用时间：45分2秒     511 words
从2005年2月4日16时47分到2005年2月4日17时45分
------题目------
College and university education should be free for all students, fully financed by the government.
------正文------
Education is one of the fundamental rights for human being. No government could set any obstacle to any one to prevent his education with any excuse. But nowadays, it is popular that college and university impose expensive fees on applicants. Obviously, it's unfair, college and university education should be fully financed by the government.
First, it is beneficial for students. if high education requires expensive fee, there will be lots of qualified students who have to stop their study just because of poverty. as well known, knowledge is power and only relying on knowledge, one may change his life and diminish his poverty. if he is refused by university or college, he lose the most powerful tool to conquer the poverty which is suffering him and his family now. This will result in a worse outcome, that is, he will become poorer and poorer-poor to live and poor to die.
Second, undeniably, it is beneficial for family. Expensive fees mean a disaster not only to student himself but also to his family. Once his entrance to college or university is attached with a big financial account, his family will have to struggle to live and save money as much as possible. consider, for instance, my own experience. since I enter the university, my little sister had to quit from the middle school and father left home to do labored(overloaded) work in Shanghai city to collect money for me. in one word, all members of my family struggled for my university education. I don't know how much my family sacrificed for my education but I can imagine it. in this sense, for the sake of the family happiness, college and university have no reason to require fees.
Furthmore(furthermore), it is beneficial for the whole society and nation. what is the most important (wealth) for society and nation? intelligence! if government can't fully finance the college and university education, many talent(talents) will be kept out of the campus because of finance problem. of course, it is a great loss to the whole society. Because these poor students will be the pillars of society and nation if they are given chances to study further.
Therefore, if college and university education is fully  financed by the government, it will benefit not only student himself but also his family. More important, the policy is also very significant for society to thrive. Perhaps many people would disagree with me, their main reason probably is that government can give followships(fellowships) to the poor and excellent students to solve their living  problems. Well, it seems a sound idea. But the fact is that the followships(fellowships)  can only favor part of the poor groups and to most poor students, how to make living is still the biggest problem.
For the reasons mentioned above, I definitely insist that college and university education should be free for any student, no  matter he is poor or rich. Enjoy education is his fundamental right and affording education freely is government's responsibility. as you known, every citizen has given so much education tax(taxes) to government.

poohUID: 146994

Education is one of the fundamental rights for human being. 怎么得出的结论？这句话不成立 No government could set any obstacle to any one to prevent his education with any excuse. But nowadays, it is popular that college and university impose expensive fees on applicants.application fee只是很小的一部分，tuition才是重点  Obviously, it's unfair, college and university education直接说higher education吧，看到帖子的题目所以进来看看，不过不是很地道哦 should be fully financed by the government.

First, it is beneficial for students. if high higher education requires expensive fee, there will be lots of qualified students who have to stop their study just because of poverty. as well known,语法错误，as we all know   knowledge is power and only 为什么用only,太绝对了吧 relying on knowledge, one may change his life and diminishdiminish不合适，改成get rid of his poverty. if he is refused by university or college, he lose the most powerful tool to conquer the poverty which is suffering him and his family now. 应该是sb suffer sth. This will result in a worse outcome, that is, he will become poorer and poorer-poor to live and poor to die. poor to live and poor to die最好改成live poor and die poor

Second, undeniably, it is beneficial for family. it 指代的内容要表达出来  Expensive fees mean a disaster not only to student himself but also to his family. Once his entrance to college or university is attached with a big financial account, his family will have to struggle to live and save money as much as possible. consider, for instance, my own experience. since I enter the university, my little sister had to quit from the middle school and father left home to do labored(overloaded) work in Shanghai city to collect money for me. in one word, all members of my family struggled for my university education. I don't know how much my family sacrificed for my education but I can imagine it. in this sense, for the sake of the family happiness, college and university have no reason to require fees.

Furthmore(furthermore), it is beneficial for the whole society and nation. what is the most important (wealth) for society and nation? intelligence!intelligence 会被错误理解为情报，而且作为智商来讲放在这里也不合适，用knowledge比较合适吧  if government can't fully finance the college and university education, many talent(talents) will be kept out of the campus because of finance problem. of course, it is a great loss to the whole society. Because these poor students will be the pillars of society and nation if they are given chances to study further.应该展开来写社会将会得到什么益处，大学教育有多大的重要性，如果没有大学教育社会会变成什么样，大学教育在国家的国际竞争中扮演什么角色

Therefore, if college and university education is fully financed by the government, it will benefit not only student himself but also his family. More important, the policy is also very significant for society to thrive. Perhaps many people would disagree with me, their main reason probably is that government can give followships(fellowships) to the poor and excellent students to solve their living problems. Well, it seems a sound idea. But the fact is that the followships(fellowships) can only favor part of the poor groups and to most poor students, how to make living is still the biggest problem.

For the reasons mentioned above, I definitely insist that college and university education should be free for any student, no matter he is poor or rich. Enjoy education is his fundamental right and affording education freely is government's responsibility. as you known, every citizen has given so much education tax(taxes) to government.
这个思路很不错，框架很清晰，但是缺乏深度，最好每段有两个分论点，时间来不及就写3个body，写的段数太多必然每段展开的力度不够。有些表达需要注意，有语法错误

mada7982UID: 196720

Education is one of the fundamental rights for human being. 怎么得出的结论？这句话不成立（把human being改成citizen好不好？） No government could set any obstacle to any one to prevent his education with any excuse. But nowadays, it is popular that college and university impose expensive fees on applicants.application fee只是很小的一部分，tuition才是重点（我本意是指tuition and application fee,看来我得把applicant改成students.） Obviously, it's unfair, college and university education直接说higher education吧，(言之有理，低头接受！)看到帖子的题目所以进来看看，不过不是很地道哦 （哈哈，总算靠题目把你给诱惑进来了！）should be fully financed by the government.

First, it is beneficial for students. if high higher （同样笑纳！）education requires expensive fee, there will be lots of qualified students who have to stop their study just because of poverty. as well known,语法错误，as we all know（这点学生持不同意见，as well known是个常见的短语，比如：Russia is, as well known, a big country. It is still big even after the USSR collapse.） knowledge is power and only 为什么用only,太绝对了吧（再次言之有理，我受中文表达习惯的影响） relying on knowledge, one may change his life and diminishdiminish不合适，改成get rid of （ok!）his poverty. if he is refused by university or college, he lose the most powerful tool to conquer the poverty which is suffering him and his family now. 应该是sb suffer sth(哈哈，又一个小学生错误，which he and his family are suffering now?). This will result in a worse outcome, that is, he will become poorer and poorer-poor to live and poor to die. poor to live and poor to die最好改成live poor and die poor(妙！我查到了例句：those born poor almost always live poor and die poor.)

Second, undeniably, it is beneficial for family. it 指代的内容要表达出来(我应该在上面那一段的第一句话中指出来，在后面用it代替我估计还是问题不大，不然，显得啰嗦，对否？) Expensive fees mean a disaster not only to student himself but also to his family. Once his entrance to college or university is attached with a big financial account, his family will have to struggle to live and save money as much as possible. consider, for instance, my own experience. since I enter the university, my little sister had to quit from the middle school and father left home to do labored(overloaded) work in Shanghai city to collect money for me. in one word, all members of my family struggled for my university education. I don't know how much my family sacrificed for my education but I can imagine it. in this sense, for the sake of the family happiness, college and university have no reason to require fees.

Furthmore(furthermore), it is beneficial for the whole society and nation. what is the most important (wealth) for society and nation? intelligence!intelligence 会被错误理解为情报，而且作为智商来讲放在这里也不合适，用knowledge比较合适吧（我就两个字——接受！） if government can't fully finance the college and university education, many talent(talents) will be kept out of the campus because of finance problem. of course, it is a great loss to the whole society. Because these poor students will be the pillars of society and nation if they are given chances to study further.应该展开来写社会将会得到什么益处，大学教育有多大的重要性，如果没有大学教育社会会变成什么样，大学教育在国家的国际竞争中扮演什么角色（言之有理！我在构思时也想到了这些，不过，正式落笔时写着写着就忘了，尽写些丢芝麻捡西瓜的句子，汗！！）

Therefore, if college and university education is fully financed by the government, it will benefit not only student himself but also his family. More important, the policy is also very significant for society to thrive. Perhaps many people would disagree with me, their main reason probably is that government can give followships(fellowships) to the poor and excellent students to solve their living problems. Well, it seems a sound idea. But the fact is that the followships(fellowships) can only favor part of the poor groups and to most poor students, how to make living is still the biggest problem.

For the reasons mentioned above, I definitely insist that college and university education should be free for any student, no matter he is poor or rich. Enjoy education is his fundamental right and affording education freely is government's responsibility. as you known, every citizen has given so much education tax(taxes) to government.
这个思路很不错，框架很清晰（谢谢鼓励！），但是缺乏深度（更谢谢批评！），最好每段有两个分论点（能否详示？），时间来不及就写3个body，写的段数太多必然每段展开的力度不够。有些表达需要注意，有语法错误（真是不写不知道，一写吓一跳呀，以前根本没想到会犯一些幼稚的语法错误的，看来，进行限时练习是有必要滴！）