issue185 同主题写作 活了21年的第一篇issue 真的很痛苦

imjasonUID: 176604

用了3个小时， 可是结果让我惨不忍睹，希望大家不要吝啬你们的砖头啊！


------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------
Our value judgments are changing with the growing diversity of this society. The statement above rightly conceals complex social values far above the usefulness of scandals. Even though every advent of a scandal will undoubtedly draw public attention, the speed and the spread of which depend on the status of the hero, we can hardly deny that it gives the society strong impetus.

Scandals are mirrors, which can reflect our views towards some social problems and, additionally, in this way, even direct the whole attitude of a society. The discussion, which can be divided into two groups, in the Clinton's sexual scandal, the world's famous one, or maybe the most, is right on the target. One group consider that as a president, Clinton's behavior disdain not only himself but also the government and the whole nation. While, the other one argue that this is a personal fair and is private in his family, giving no rights to us to comment on it; what we actually should concern is whether the president has fully accomplished his works. Maybe the result prefer to the latter, but the worldwide attention-drawing scandal undoubtedly produces great influences on many aspects of the society, even after 7 years, including the more classified morality, the more serious attitude towards marriage, the increasingly respect of the privacy of a person, especially a public person, and the better understanding of the role of a public person.

Meanwhile, scandals reflect sunlight to the shadow of a society which we would easily neglect. The most controversy aspect is the corruption, not only in politics, but also, now, in academia. In politics, some official may receive bribes or other valuable goods and operate in a "box", opaque to the outside. And in academia, a few scholars do not perform their research carefully and seriously but steal other's fruits. Recently, more and more scandals have drawn our eyes on the jousting field, where once supply the most equal opportunities. All the shadows above need sunlight. Just like in China, regarded having a serious corrupted government, the leaders are now actively implementing a "sunny government" program, opening its regulations and financial data to the outside gradually. Needless to say, the reflected light by these scandals forces us to build a more transparent and democratic society.

On the other hand, we can not ignore the weakness of our human beings, that some scandals are calculatedly fabricated in order to draw our attention only. This phenomenon is often can be seen in entertainment field. Some singers or movie stars perform these tricks to catch more fans' attention, especially those new stars who want to be well-known overnight. However, I will accept the truth that this performance is useless and those new stars ultimately become a nova. Furtherly, these scandals, to some extent, can ask us to cool down the heated atmosphere around us and that to be a successful and well-known people need diligent work.

In sum, even though the scandals are controversy, they are useful to the healthy development of a society. It might be costly to get experience from a scandal, but we also should admit the benefit it produces, even, some people argue that sometimes scandals can stimulate our consuming, just look at the best-seller of the autobiography of Clinton.

imjasonUID: 176604

自己UP一下
希望大家能给个意见啊！

coweiliangUID: 195905

大桶哥哥，下面我就开始砸砖了啊，被我砸你应该不会有意见的吧～～ :D Our value judgments嗯，不好 are changing with the growing diversity of this society.这个开头感觉有些生硬The statement above rightly conceals complex social values far above the usefulness of scandals. 你想表达什么意思啊Even though every advent of a scandal will undoubtedly draw public attention, Will it be?every?the speed and the spread of which depend on the status of the hero, we can hardly deny that it gives the society strong impetus.

Scandals are mirrors, which can reflect our views towards some social problems and, additionally, in this way,删掉插入语部分好了 even direct the whole attitude of a society. The discussion, which can be divided into two groups, in the Clinton's sexual scandal, the world's famous one, or maybe the most,感觉句子结构很零散 is right on the target. One group consider that as a president, Clinton's behavior disdain not only himself but also the government and the whole nation. While, the other one argue that this is a personal fair and is private in his family, giving no rights to us to comment on it; what we actually should concern is whether the president has fully accomplished his works. Maybe the result prefer to the latter, but the worldwide attention-drawing scandal undoubtedly produces great influences on many aspects of the society, even after 7 years, including the more classified morality, the more serious attitude towards marriage, the increasingly respect of the privacy of a person, especially a public person, and the better understanding of the role of a public person. 最后再回点题

Meanwhile, scandals reflect sunlight to the shadow of a society which we would easily neglect. The most controversy aspect is the corruption, not only in politics, but also, now, in academia. 接着应该写academic feildIn politics, some official s may receive bribes or other valuable goods and operate in a "box",感觉象中式英语 opaque to the outside. And in academia, a few scholars do not perform their research carefully and seriously but steal other's fruits. Recently, more and more scandals have drawn our eyes on the jousting field, where once supply the most equal opportunities. All the shadows above need sunlight. Just like in China, regarded having a serious corrupted government, the leaders are now actively implementing a "sunny government" program, opening its regulations and financial data to the outside gradually. Needless to say, the reflected light by these scandals forces us to build a more transparent and democratic society.

On the other hand, we can notcannot ignore the weakness of our human beings, that some scandals are calculatedly fabricated in order to draw our attention only. This phenomenon is often can be seen in entertainment field. Some singers or movie stars performplay these tricks to catch more fans' attention, especially those new stars who want to be well-known overnight. However, I will accept the truth？? that this performance is useless and those new stars ultimately become a nova. Furtherly, 不是递进的关系啊these scandals, to some extent, can ask us to cool down the heated atmosphere around us and that to be a successful and well-known people need diligent work.这个并列成分结构有问题

In sum, even though the scandals are controversy, they are useful to the healthy development of a society. It might be costly to get experience from a scandal, ?? but we also should admit the benefit it produces, even, some people argue that sometimes scandals can stimulate our consuming, just look at the best-seller of the autobiography of Clinton.结尾缺乏有力的概括