Issue51 请扔砖，限时写的，请留下链接,必回改

iverUID: 198348

Issue51  第5篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分2秒     451 words
从2005年2月5日18时35分到2005年2月5日19时45分
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------提纲------
A 创造性思维很重要,而这种思维适合兴趣和需要的教育的产物
B 学生能够通过这种教育发展自己的专长
C 存在相反的意见的原因可能是因为现在的条件达不到, 也许存在一些例外,但是只要结合学生实际进行教育,总能达到很好的效果
------正文-----

　Will education become actually effective only being designed to meet each student's needs and interests? The speaker thinks so. In fact, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.

    Firstly, it is the creative thinking that serves to the development of a society. Most people recognize that human beings can benefit from thinking creatively; but just such kind of education can produce the creative thinking. However, some of people are always overlooking how to acquire the ability to think, deduce, and reason significantly. In fact, it is the education that one becomes cultivated and gets the capacity to deal with problems; however, different kinds of education would that lead one to different destinations. Only by the appropriate education that meets one's need being supplied, the creative thinking can be produced on individuals.

    Secondly, student will grow quickly and become fully developed while being edified by the knowledge and theory that meet his or her needs and interests. For example, if a student likes to work in the art, but all the curriculum he has to choose is mathematics, physics, and chemistry, what will the result of him be? It is obvious that he will not only get little score, but some of his inspiration on art will extinct. In addition, if a student can have the chance to accept the fit subjects and join the activities he or she likes, he or she will necessarily qualify the field, which he or she would devote to.

    Finally, there may exist some people, who seem cynical, cites some examples to demonstrate such kind of education that meet one's needs and interests is not only impossible but may lead to individualism. When it comes to this, they may overlook the reasons as followings. On the one hand, it is the dearth conditions that leads to the result it is impossible to meet each student's need. On the other hand, if there are some cases that illustrated it is bad to teach the students according to their needs and interests, it may be rare. Even there are such cases; the reason may due to the less attention educators pay to their students. Everyone will necessarily have some wrong or not healthy needs, if educators can provide them with relative education and avert his unfit needs, the student will become an excellent one.

    In sum, only if the education is carefully designed to fit for the student's needs and interests, it will be really effective. Although the modern education can fully meet the students’ needs as there are not enough professors, and money to establish to create such kinds of education, it is still effective. In addition, once such kind of education is founded, we will necessarily benefit from it.
   自己感觉写的很不理想,很不顺,感觉逻辑很不清楚.
   郁闷中...
   希望大家能帮我!
   狂砸我吧, 是对我的最好鼓励!

   人的成功与否99%取决与心态, 所以, 大家调整心态吧, 会成功的!

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

占坐了

flyfish9UID: 156664

Issue51 第5篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：45分2秒 451 words
从2005年2月5日18时35分到2005年2月5日19时45分
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------提纲------
A 创造性思维很重要,而这种思维适合兴趣和需要的教育的产物
B 学生能够通过这种教育发展自己的专长
C 存在相反的意见的原因可能是因为现在的条件达不到, 也许存在一些例外,但是只要结合学生实际进行教育,总能达到很好的效果
------正文-----

　Will education become actually effective only being designed to meet each student's needs and interests? The speaker thinks so. In fact, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.

Firstly, it is the creative thinking that serves to the development of a society. Most people recognize that human beings can benefit from thinking creatively; but just such kind of education can produce the creative thinking. However, some of people are always overlooking how to acquire the ability to think, deduce, and reason significantly. In fact, it is the education that one becomes cultivated and gets the capacity to deal with problems; however, different kinds of education would that lead one to different destinations. Only by the appropriate education that meets one's need being supplied, the creative thinking can be produced on individuals. 创造性思维和根据学生自己的兴趣安排教学有什么关系呢？这两者之间的联系应该阐明

Secondly, student will grow quickly 有这种说法么？ 还不如直接说learn quickly and become fully developed while being edified by the knowledge and theory that meet his or her needs and interests. For example, if a student likes to work in the art, but all the curriculum he has to choose is mathematics, physics, and chemistry, what will the result of him be? It is obvious that he will not only get little score, but some of his inspiration on art will extinct. In addition, if a student can have the chance to accept the fit subjects and join the activities he or she likes, he or she will necessarily qualify the field, which he or she would devote to.

Finally, there may exist some people, who seem cynical, cites some examples to demonstrate such kind of education that meet one's needs and interests is not only impossible but may lead to individualism. When it comes to this, they may overlook the reasons as followingsas following. On the one hand, it is the dearth conditions that leads to the result it is impossible to meet each student's need. On the other hand, if there are some cases that illustrated it is bad to teach the students according to their needs and interests, it may be rare. Even there are such cases; the reason may due to the less attention educators pay to their students. Everyone will necessarily have some wrong or not healthy needs, if educators can provide them with relative education and avert his unfit needs, the student will become an excellent one.每个人都有不好的需求,这个和区别教育关系也不是很大吧

In sum, only if the education is carefully designed to fit for the student's needs and interests, it will be really effective. Although the modern education can fully meet the students’ needs as there are not enough professors, and money to establish to create such kinds of education, it is still effective. In addition, once such kind of education is founded, we will necessarily benefit from it.

总体感觉思路不是很清楚，可能是限时了的原因吧

shirleymaluUID: 197811

Will education become actually effective only being designed to meet each student's needs and interests? The speaker thinks so. In fact, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.

Firstly, it is the creative thinking that serves to the development of a society. Most people recognize that human beings can benefit from thinking creatively; but just such kind of education can produce the creative thinking. However, some of people are always overlooking how to acquire the ability to think, deduce, and reason significantly. In fact, it is the education that one becomes cultivated and gets the capacity to deal with problems; however, different kinds of education would that lead one to different destinations. Only by the appropriate education that meets one's need being supplied, the creative thinking can be produced on individuals. 觉得这段与主题离得有点远

Secondly, student will grow quickly and become fully developed while being edified by the knowledge and theory that meet his or her needs and interests. For example, if a student likes to work in the art, but all the curriculum he has to choose is mathematics, physics, and chemistry, what will the result of him be? It is obvious that he will not only get little score, but some of his inspiration on art will extinct. In addition, if a student can have the chance to accept the fit subjects and join the activities he or she likes, he or she will necessarily qualify the field, which he or she would devote to. 不能将别的不感兴趣的学科一棍子打死吧

Finally, there may exist some people, who seem cynical, cites some examples to demonstrate such kind of education that meet one's needs and interests is not only impossible but may lead to individualism. When it comes to this, they may overlook the reasons as followingsas following. On the one hand, it is the dearth conditions that leads to the result it is impossible to meet each student's need. On the other hand, if there are some cases that illustrated it is bad to teach the students according to their needs and interests, it may be rare. Even there are such cases; the reason may due to the less attention educators pay to their students. Everyone will necessarily have some wrong or not healthy needs,可以这样说吗？ if educators can provide them with relative education and avert his unfit needs, the student will become an excellent one.
In sum, only if the education is carefully designed to fit for the student's needs and interests, it will be really effective. Although the modern education can fully meet the students’ needs as there are not enough professors, and money to establish to create such kinds of education, it is still effective. In addition, once such kind of education is founded, we will necessarily benefit from it.

同意前一位的说法，逻辑有点乱
有空也帮我改改作文
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252937

runningpiggyUID: 194977

Will education become actually effective only being designed to meet each student's needs and interests? The speaker thinks so. In fact, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.(我觉得这个开头应该可以写得更好,疑问句开头只能是在没有时间的时候才去使用的方法)

Firstly, it is the creative thinking that serves to the development of a society. Most people recognize that human beings can benefit from thinking creatively; but just such kind of education can produce the creative thinking. However, some of people are always overlooking how to acquire the ability to think, deduce, and reason significantly. In fact, it is the education that one becomes cultivated and gets the capacity to deal with problems;(第二个强调句,一段里面除了两个强调句好像不太好吧) however, different kinds of education would that lead one to different destinations. Only by the appropriate education that meets one's need being supplied, the creative thinking can be produced on individuals.(都写到only了,不如倒装一下吧)

Secondly, student will grow quickly and become fully developed while being edified by the knowledge and theory that meet his or her needs and interests. For example, if a student likes to work in the art, but all the curriculum he has to choose is mathematics, physics, and chemistry, what will the result of him be(the result就够了,of him有点多余)? It is obvious that he will not only get little score, but some of his inspiration on art will extinct. In addition, if a student can have the chance to accept the fit(用proper,appropriate什么的也好过fit吧,用fit怪怪的) subjects and join the activities he or she likes, he or she will necessarily qualify the field, which he or she would devote to.

Finally, there may exist some people, who seem cynical, cites some examples to demonstrate such kind of education that meet one's needs and interests is not only impossible but may lead to individualism. When it comes to this, they may overlook the reasons as followings. On the one hand, it is the dearth conditions that leads to(致命,同段里出现lead to,找点东西来换换吧) the result it is impossible to meet each student's need. On the other hand, if there are some cases that illustrated it is bad to teach the students according to their needs and interests, it may be rare.(我的意见,改成cases that illustrated it is bad to teach the students according to their needs and interests may be rare) Even there are such cases; the reason may due to the less attention educators pay to their students. Everyone will necessarily have some wrong or not healthy needs, if educators can provide them with relative education and avert his unfit needs, the student will become an excellent one.

In sum, only if the education is carefully designed to fit for the student's needs and interests, it will be really effective. Although the modern education can fully meet the students' needs as there are not enough professors, and money to establish to create such kinds of education, it is still effective. In addition, once such kind of education is founded, we will necessarily benefit from it.


综述,开头太简单,短不是问题,至少用点漂亮点的句子,先打动一下评卷的人;句型的变化应该更多,文章中长句数量太少,逻辑性一般,第二段与第四段缺乏例证,但是字数差不多了,考试中高分的基础,建议能加强一下语言上的润色,我觉得逻辑上的问题不大,只要别跑题就好了)

最后,也请帮忙看看我的issue,在签名档中,谢谢!

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue51 第5篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：45分2秒 451 words
从2005年2月5日18时35分到2005年2月5日19时45分
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------提纲------
A 创造性思维很重要,而这种思维适合兴趣和需要的教育的产物
B 学生能够通过这种教育发展自己的专长
C 存在相反的意见的原因可能是因为现在的条件达不到, 也许存在一些例外,但是只要结合学生实际进行教育,总能达到很好的效果

------正文------
Will education become acturally 【actually检查！】effective only being designed to meet each student's needs and interests? The speaker thinks so. In fact, I fundamentally agree with the speaker. 【开头很简洁，不过要记得说出你agree的原因，这样才形成一个完整的观点】

Firstly, it is the creative thinking that serves to the development of a society. 【这么说吧，你的论点很突兀，我明白你的想法，你是想说，满足个人的要求是实现创造性思维的方法，然后，创造性思维很重要，所以我们要采用这样的方法。但是，你还没有论述什么是创造性思维，创造性思维跟教育方法有什么关系，上来就说它很重要，这样不容易让人理解的。建议你先写一下你对于教育目的的定义――比如说，培养创造性思维，然后再说创造性思维的重要性，我们只有用题目的方法可以做到，只有这样可以实现教育目的，从而达到truly effective】 most 【大写！】people recognize that human beings can benefit from thinking creatively; but just such kind of education can produce the creative thinking. 【what kind？论证要严谨】 However, some of people are always overlooking how to acquire the ability to think, deduce, and reason significantly. 【这个论据没有力度，应该说传统的教育方法忽视创造性思维或者说无法培养创造性思维】In fact, it is the education that one become cultivated and get the capacity to deal with problems; however, different kinds of education would that lead one to different destinations. Only by the appropriate education that meets one's need being supplied, the creative thinking can be produced on individuals. 【还是不够力度，appropriate是什么样的？交代清楚！不要让读者自己去猜】

Secondly, student will grow quickly and become fully developed while being edified by the knowledge and theory that meet his or her needs and interests. 【终于提到了individual的问题】 For example, if a student like to work in the art, but all the curriculum he has to choose is mathematics, physics, and chemistry, what will the result of him be? It is obvious that he will not only get little score, but some of his inspiration on art will extinct. In addition, if a student can have the chance to accept the fit subjects and join the activities he or she likes, he or she will necessarily qualify the field, which he or she would devote to. 【应该总结一下，谈谈题目说的教育方法才可以达到你说的效果，而且要证明 truly effective的问题】

Finally, there may exist some people, who seem cynical, cites some examples to demonstrate such kind of education that meet one's needs and interests is not only impossible but lead to individualism. When it comes to this, 【？】they may overlook the reasons as followings. On the one hand, it is the dearth conditions that leads to the result it is impossible to meet each student's need. 【不明白你的意思】 On the other hand, if there are some cases that illustrated it is bad to teach students accord to their needs and interests, it may be rare. Even there are some cases, the reason may due to the less attention educators pay to their students. Everyone will necessarily have some wrong or not healthy needs, if educators can provide them with relative education and avert his unfit needs, the student will become an excellent one. 【总的来说，论述的不到位，而且你称持有反对观点的人为cynic不妥】

In sum, only if the education is carefully designed to fit for the student's needs and interests, it will be really effective. Although the modern education can fully meet the students needs as there are not enough professors, and money to establish to create such kinds of education, it is still effective. In addition, once such kind of education is founded, we will necessarily benefit from it.

【主要的问题存在于思路，从你的思路并不能论证题目的教育方法可以达到你说的创造性思维的效果，而且，题目的关键词truly effective你忽略了，题目不是要讨论什么样的教育方法最好而是要讨论什么样的教育方法真正的有效。我觉得你需要重新思考一下。】

iverUID: 198348

No.1 Issue16 现代社会的繁荣和方便对人的影响 必回拜
限时完成，纠正了低级错误

Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

********************************************

Are the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life entirely harmless, or do they prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals? I am afraid I agree with neither of them. Because from our life because 后面应该接从句的,接短语要用because of, we can easily see that there are many things that make people stronger and more independent, but it is not harmless.

Firstfirstly, take computer for example； We can see how it makes our life stronger. It is obviously obvious that computer is one of the greatest technological invents inventions in last century and have has changed our life a lot. Then, is the change positive or negative? Under most circumstance circrumstances, I have to say, positive. By computer, we can accomplish calculating that is much more complex than ever, and we are made stronger to arrange our life. For example, there is software in my computer called "Money Arrangement", which is helpful to arrange money received and cost in my everyday life. Without it, this work can be much more difficult, even impossible, to accomplish 这个句子写的不错. It is this software in my computer that make makes me stronger in accomplishing my arrangement work of money.

Then, how about independence? We have to say today's luxuries and conveniences make people more independent than ever, maybe too independent to be in a normal level. About 30 years ago, when our country is still very poor, people have a lot of time to stay together, to talk with each other, to affect each other in everyday life. But after the economical reform in 1978, our country has been become increasinglyricher and our everyday life has become more convenient. Then what happen? From day to day we are busy in working, trying our best to catch up with the step of social development. The result is that there is limited time for us to communicate with others, even with our parents. Being Lack of communication, all people around me us become more and more independent.

However, these two changes are not both harmless both of these two changes are not harmless. Maybe it is good to be stronger, buthowever, it is not that good to be independent like what I stated in the last paragraph. In common sense, this kind of independence can cause a lot of emotion disease.

To sum up, it is true that luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life make individuals stronger and independent. But this change can be somewhat harmful.