issue36 [color=#1200ff]同主题写作

龙非UID: 193190

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Our mankind’s history of thousands of years is filled with numerous giants in all kinds of areas. But who on earth can decide whether the great are great? And what in hell is the criterion of greatness? I believe that a great man is great for his great contributions in his realm. 好多个great，汗 -_-||Therefore, the greatness of individuals can be decided by no matter the contemporaries or the posterities as long as their great contributions are recognized.

In the first place, the contemporaries can always decide the greatness of a politician because of whose obvious contributions that can be recognized immediately. A great politician might lead the people to fight against aggression, create create不恰当，establish, found之类好些a great又great！一会我要数数你一共用多少个 没有给我答案:D nation, or do makesignificant contributions to the peace of world and so forth.我觉得你要是没说你要举例，又这样写例子，最好能多两三个方面排比一下，毕竟greatness有很多方面呀。不然觉得有些单调，下面你就obviously又hence了 显然是看走眼了吧，前面是一段说理，带出下面的例子耶，这种做法你觉得怎么？ Obviously, all these contributions can be recognized immediately by the people live in the same time. Hence, the contemporaries can decide the greatness of a politician. For supporting examples we need look no further than U.S. President Washington who built a great …这些great和greatness离的太近了，重复的太明显，建议来回倒一下 嗯，我要狠狠地换了这些greatdemocratic nation. Isn't the greatness of President Washington was acknowledged during his lifetime? His people even named their capital with his name. Also consider South Africa's Nelson Mandela, the Nobel Peace Prize winner, we can decide that he is one of the greatest man of the time now. Thus it can be see that in politics, the contributions of the great man can be almost recognized and be decided by their contemporaries.

Moreover, the contemporaries can also decide the greatness of artists by the simple reason that art can be evaluated at face value. Whether in music, visual art or literature, there is nothing to be proved or be disproved and people can judge the artists' contributions easily. 嗯？这句看的糊涂，请赐教 意思是无论是音乐，视觉艺术或文学，都没有什么东西需要去证明的，人们可以立刻判断出艺术家的贡献，为的是与下面科学呼应，下面的科学理论需要人们的证明The history is replete with such examples that artistic greatness is recognized immediately. Through his 先冒出个代词后面才说谁，我觉得这样的表达不太好 不大好啊，280的句式，你觉得他不好在哪？讨论讨论，是不是读起来语感别扭symphony, European recognized Beethoven's musical greatness, while the greatness of Picasso was recognized in his prime of life, and Shakespeare became household name even during his lifetime. By these convincing examples, the history tells us that the greatness of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries.感觉还是要分析一下例子的人物的伟大在哪里，为当代人做出了虾米贡献，为虾米有同时代的人会接受和尊敬，因此才能得到你的结论，当代人也可以评论一个人物的伟大。单纯列几个现象就说他们都在生前都得到了社会的承认怕是有些不深入捏
我这一段的逻辑是这样的，TS－－因为艺术可以轻易地从表面去判断，所以艺术家的价值可以由当代人来判断。然后说理：无论是艺术的那个领域都不需要去证明些什么，所以可以立刻判断，接着塞了几个例子都是艺术家被当代人决定的。我觉得这个论证为浅尝辄止，要深入的应该是为什么可以从表面判断，并点出为什么可以从表面判断就可以由当代人来决定。所以例子应该着墨于牛牛做了什么贡献，怎么就可以从表面判断了，吱吱说得对，赞一个
At the same time, when we come to science, thing becomes something complex that whether the contemporaries can decide the greatness of individuals. Sometimes the people living in the same time can judge the value of individual's work and decide his greatness. For instance, Thomas Edison is called one of the greatest inventors who patented more than one thousand inventions by his contemporaries and he really is deserved. And we consider Einstein the greatest physical scientist of the twentieth century. But sometimes we can hardly to evaluate the contributions of the scientists. Let us think let us think 这样的句我总觉得有些口语 握一下手，我也觉得是，我改about Paul Muller who wined wonthe Nobel Prize for the invention of DDT that is the pronoun of environment disaster made by people's misconduct. Half of a century ago, we take him as one of the great scientist and award prize to him, yet today we have to admit that we were wrong.那么界个银算不算great？我觉得你这个例子可以但是没有很好的服务你的论点。你要分析为虾米有的greatness需要后人来评断，因为有的科学成果的验证需要N多年，不能马上做出结论，比如这个米勒虽然一时为杀虫做了大贡献，但是经过N多年的检验发觉他发明的这个东东的弊更多，因此对整个社会生态环境了人类健康了其实是有害的。所以对于一些试验结果不明确的新成果不能马上下结论。你对这个例子的表述给我的感觉就是，只说明了这个人发明了个好玩意，N年后被人们发现是错的。没有说明有无greatness也没说明为虾米要后人来鉴别 好样的，吱吱的逻辑已经很好了，还喊苦。这个例子我写的时候也觉得是最差的一个例子，像是能说明问题，却又没点透，反而影响了主题，我要好好重新组织一下 Because of the complexity of the science, any scientific theory may be disproved tomorrow, thereby demoting the theorist's contributions so that the contemporaries may have wrong decision of the greatness of individuals. ft,我狂打了一堆字，发觉你后面也有这方面解释。不过我觉得你的解释不够明确，so that前后不是因果吧？因为成果有可能被证明为误，那么当代人就可能做出错误的判断，关于greatness。这里的greatness太不明确了，正如你那个例子，那获奖不是因为杀虫剂的效果大嘛，不也算greatness 其实已不是对上面例子的解释了，上面例子没有写好。这里是进一步深化主题，指出科学领域不能马上判断的原因。so that也用错了In a word, if the contributions of a scientist can be proved immediately by his contemporaries that can decide the greatness, otherwise, only the people who live after him can do it.

In conclusion, it is the standard to decide whether a person is a great one that if he has do significant contributions to his realm,standard的问题好像一直没说过吧，忽然就出来了 standard与开头的criterion对应 thus whether in politics, art or science, not only the posterity could decide the greatness of individuals, but also the contemporaries by whom if the contributions can be disproved.最后半句的概念也是你B3结尾才说到的，用于全文的观点不合适，而且是不是被disprove才能被decide？ 错别字，是proved:D，proved是想与开头，乃至全文的recognize等词呼应，原意也是只有被认识到才能被决定，用prove不好

龙非GG的的条理一直都很清楚，我就论一会就乱套了。
嘿嘿，客套话，在安慰我，这一篇显然逻辑不够清楚，俺不怕打击的，你就尽管拍吧
不过有几个地方要指出：
1，用了很多的great, greatness, recognize 单调
语言上的大问题，再努力
2，B2的例子有些像流水帐，么有实质的东东，觉得加以分析会比较好 对，例子缺乏了深度
3，B3后面的论述有些乱套了，关于greatness的概念让我很疑惑，请赐教。 greatness在开篇我已指出我的理解，就是在本领域做出了重大的贡献，当然，要加深的话就是点出这些贡献施惠于本民族，本国家乃至全世界
4，结尾总有新观念冒出来，从你的意思看不是那样提建议喊口号的，还是对你全文的总结，最好不要总蹦出来前面都没说过的问题。这个是个人意见，欢迎讨论
这个问题是冤枉啊，意见前面已经说了。最后谈谈对结尾的看法，好的结尾应该不仅总结全文，还应该能深化主题，引人深思那才是牛尾
不过，整体还好啦！尤其龙非GG工作那么忙 还这么努力学G，赞一个！

龙非UID: 193190

to walterecho

我觉得论证中之第一段有些问题，你是想说政治家，可是politician更多是指政客。而且，政治人物的贡献不一定立刻就能被recognize.

对于politician我有不同意见， politician，a person experienced in the art or science of government。称之为政治家应该是没有问题的，对于政治人物的贡献不一定能立刻recognize能否举个例子，注意立刻应该是相对后代而言的，即被同时代的人认识到即可称为立刻

龙非UID: 193190

Our mankind’s history of thousands of years is filled with numerous giants in all kinds of areas. But who on earth can decide whether the great are great? And what in hell is the criterion of greatness? I believe that a great man is great for his great contributions in his realm. [楼上两高人说要替换great,我也想知道换什么…] 可换的应该不少Therefore, the greatness of individuals can be decided by no matter the contemporaries or the posterities as long as their great contributions are recognized. [明确简洁的开头]

In the first place, the contemporaries can always decide the greatness of a politician because of whose obvious [and easily recognized] contributions [that can be recognized immediately]. [觉得话有点绕喃. ] A great politician might lead the people to fight against aggression, create a great nation, or do significant contributions to the peace of world and so forth. Obviously, all these contributions can be recognized immediately by the people live in the same time. Hence, the contemporaries can decide the greatness of a politician. For supporting examples we need look no further than [U.S. President Washington who built a great democratic nation. Isn't the greatness of President Washington was acknowledged during his lifetime? His people even named their capital with [after] his name. Also consider South Africa's Nelson Mandela, the Nobel Peace Prize winner, we can decide that he is one of the greatest man [men] of the time now. Thus it can be see that in politics, the contributions of the great man can be almost recognized and be decided by their contemporaries.

Moreover, the contemporaries can also decide the greatness of artists by the simple reason that art can be evaluated at face value. Whether in music, visual art or literature, there is nothing to be proved or be disproved and people can judge the artists' contributions easily. The history is replete with such examples that artistic greatness is recognized immediately. Through his symphony, European recognized Beethoven's musical greatness, while the greatness of Picasso was recognized in his prime of life, and Shakespeare became household name even during his lifetime. By these convincing examples, the history tells us that the greatness of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries.

At the same time, when we come to science, thing becomes something [somewhat] complex that whether the contemporaries can decide the greatness of individuals. Sometimes [the] people living in the same time can judge the value of individual's work and decide his greatness. For instance, Thomas Edison is called one of the greatest inventors who patented more than one thousand inventions by his contemporaries and he really is deserved. And we consider Einstein the greatest physical scientist of the twentieth century. But sometimes we can hardly to evaluate the contributions of the scientists. Let us think about Paul Muller who wined the Nobel Prize for the invention of DDT that is the pronoun of environment disaster made by people's misconduct. Half of a century ago, we take him as one of the great scientist and award prize to him, yet today we have to admit that we were wrong. [能这样就否定他的greatness么?其他人一样有责任,他的成就是great的,只是用得过度了，] 其实对于穆勒来说，现在应该没有人称为之伟人啦，虽然贡献不小，但是DDT的伤害更大Because of the complexity of the science, any scientific theory may be disproved tomorrow, thereby demoting the theorist's contributions so that the contemporaries may have wrong decision of the greatness of individuals. [我觉得就算理论以后证明是错的, 科学家在当时的环境下做出那样的成果, 也可能是有阶段性的重要意义的,就算证明某研究方向不可行那也是一种成就嘛] 是有成就，但不至于great，我应该把这个问题点出来In a word, if the contributions of a scientist can be proved immediately by his contemporaries that can decide the greatness, otherwise, only the people who live after him can do it.

In conclusion, it is the standard to decide whether a person is a great one that if he has do significant contributions to his realm, thus whether in politics, art or science, not only the posterity could decide the greatness of individuals, but also the contemporaries by whom if the contributions can be disproved.

tcaactUID: 186901

Our mankind’s history of thousands of years is filled with numerous giants in all kinds of areas. But who on earth can decide whether the great are great? And what in hell is the criterion of greatness? I believe that a great man is great for his great contributions in his realm. Therefore, the greatness of individuals can be decided by no matter the contemporaries or the posterities as long as their great contributions are recognized.

In the first place, the contemporaries can always decide the greatness of a politician because of whose obvious contributions that can be recognized immediately. A great politician might lead the people to fight against aggression, create a great nation, or do significant contributions to the peace of world and so forth. Obviously, all these contributions can be recognized immediately by the people live in the same time. Hence, the contemporaries can decide the greatness of a politician.[感觉有点重复，这句可以省去] For supporting examples we need look no further than U.S. President Washington who built a great democratic nation. Isn't the greatness of President Washington was [being] acknowledged during his lifetime? His people even named their capital with his name. Also consider South Africa's Nelson Mandela, the Nobel Peace Prize winner [呵呵，正宗的说法：Laureate], we can decide  that he is one of the greatest man of the time now[好像太主观，可以换成：considered as the greatest man of our time]. Thus it can be see that in politics, the contributions of the great man can be almost recognized and be decided by their contemporaries.

Moreover, the contemporaries can also decide the greatness of artists by the simple reason that art can be evaluated at face value[嗯，感觉不是很好，有点说他肤浅的意思，稍稍换一下会比较好]. Whether in music, visual art or literature, there is nothing to be proved or be disproved and people can judge the artists' contributions easily. The history is replete with such examples that artistic greatness is recognized immediately. Through his symphony, European recognized Beethoven's musical greatness, while the greatness of Picasso was recognized in his prime of life, and Shakespeare became household name even during his lifetime. By these convincing examples, the history tells us that the greatness of individuals can be decided by their contemporaries.

At the same time, when we come to science, thing becomes something complex that whether the contemporaries can decide the greatness of individuals. Sometimes the people living in the same time can judge the value of individual's work and decide his greatness. For instance, Thomas Edison is called one of the greatest inventors who patented more than one thousand inventions by his contemporaries and he really is deserved.[好像很熟悉，是范文中的东西么，要进行修改哦，呵呵] And we consider Einstein the greatest physical scientist of the twentieth century. But sometimes we can hardly to evaluate the contributions of the scientists. Let us think about Paul Muller who wined the Nobel Prize for the invention of DDT that is the pronoun of environment disaster made by people's misconduct. Half of a century ago, we take him as one of the great scientist and award prize to him, yet today we have to admit that we were wrong. Because of the complexity of the science, any scientific theory may be disproved tomorrow, thereby demoting the theorist's contributions so that the contemporaries may have wrong decision of the greatness of individuals. In a word, if the contributions of a scientist can be proved immediately by his contemporaries that can decide the greatness, otherwise, only the people who live after him can do it.[这个例子感觉有点冒险~~]

In conclusion, it is the standard to decide whether a person is a great one that if he has do significant contributions to his realm, thus whether in politics, art or science, not only the posterity could decide the greatness of individuals, but also the contemporaries by whom if the contributions can be disproved.

感觉很有亲切感，有“范文”模板风范，呵呵~~
前面两段很棒，但是最后的例子感觉有点不太合适，再选择一下或者换个角度吧^_^
加油哦~