ISSUE36 同主题写作 来交作业的，谁给我改，有改必回

sblbaslerUID: 175229

Issue 36 the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

In the ear of admiring praise leading to the promotion of people’s adherence to evaluating the greatness of individuals, there exists a widespread awareness that only by those who live in the future, not by their contemporaries, can the greatness of individuals be decided. Just valid, however, this conclusion may be, it only skims the surface of the problem. As not approve to the commonly belief, I advocate that the core of the process of evaluating the greatness of individuals cannot be determined only by distinguishing the time they live in but also by the limit on making the decision.
       
Granted that from the pace of history, what we can see is the fact that an increasing number of misunderstandings have been clarified, however, what we cannot see in the dark corner of the history is, as well, the fact that the crux in determining the proceeding discussion is the limits, such as inability of understanding a new theory, political intention, failure of appreciating a art work and the like, imposed by different time or society or even people.

First, some of the greatness of individuals could be interpreted by their contemporaries mainly due to its lack of limits on the current time. In China we admire Chairman Deng Xiaoping for his contribution to promoting our current life and the increasing amount of money we have gained as In South Africa, they admire David Moulds(就是曼德拉，我查了他的英文名好象是这个) for his bringing liberty to his compatriot especially those who live in slavery; Among women, they adore Mother Teresa for her kindness and love for those who are poor as among Black Americans, they adore Martin Luther King for his persistence and sacrifice in gaining rights and effacing the discrimination in America. The greatness of all those adverted above is appreciated by not simply their contemporaries, but also by their descendants because these greatness lacks of limits whether imposed by political intention or others.

By contrast, some of individuals could not deserve such a fortune as the formers. Their greatness can hardly be not greater than that in the proceeding discussion, the reason the contemporaries does not accept it is that it is imposed on some limits varying from subjective to objective. From the perspective of “subjective” ---- mainly from the political intention------ Liu Shaoqi, the state founder of China, the great militarist, the chairman of Party, persecuted to death during the Revolutionary Culture, whose reputation was renewed until about 20 years later is just an exact case in point. This kind of limit is imposed by the time and the politics. From the perspective of “objective”----- mainly from the inability of knowing the nature------The countless examples in the history of Noble Praise that scientists’ new theories cannot be accepted during a period varying from years to tens of years ------ Max Planck’s 18 years waiting for the Noble Praise, or in the field of art, Van Gogh’s years of “waiting” in the heaven for recognizing and the like. This kind of limit is imposed by the inability in understanding new things. Therefore, limits are the crux in making decision on evaluating the greatness of individuals.

To sum up, since limits play such an essential role in determining people’s estimation on the greatness of individuals, what we should do is to avoid the subjective limits and decrease the objective limits as many as possible, therefore not making any hasty generalization.

sblbaslerUID: 175229

大家帮我看看吧

davidjackyUID: 135962

正在看你的文章，请把你的中文提纲和论证形式按照同主题写作发贴的要求放在那个精华贴的后面，谢谢

sblbaslerUID: 175229

就是在同主题那个贴上发么，我发过了呀！

davidjackyUID: 135962

Issue 36 the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

In the ear of admiring praise leading to the promotion of people’s adherence to evaluating the greatness of individuals, there exists a widespread awareness that only by those who live in the future, not by their contemporaries, can the greatness of individuals be decided. Just valid, however, this conclusion may be, it only skims the surface of the problem. As not approve? to the commonly belief, I advocate that the core of the process of evaluating the greatness of individuals cannot be determined only by distinguishing the time by the time in which whether they live or not they live in but also by the limitlimitation on making the decision.你的意思是说既不能由当代人又不能由后来人决定是吗，而是由作决定的人的主观意识和外界条件决定的，如政治背景、科技发展、人们认知力等决定，立意有些创新

Granted that from the pace of history, what we can see is the fact that an increasing number of misunderstandings have been clarified, however, what we cannot see in the dark corner of the history is, as well, the fact that the crux in determining the proceeding discussion is the limits, such as inability of understanding a new theory, political intention, failure of appreciating a art work and the like, imposed by different time or society or even people.

First, some of the greatness of individuals could be interpreted by their contemporaries mainly due to its lack of limits on the current time. In China we admire Chairman Deng Xiaoping for his contribution to promoting our current life and the increasing amount of money we have gained as In South Africa, they admire David Moulds(就是曼德拉，我查了他的英文名好象是这个) for his bringing liberty to his compatriot especially those who live in slavery; Among women, they adore Mother Teresa for her kindness and love for those who are poor as among Black Americans, they adore Martin Luther King for his persistence and sacrifice in gaining rights and effacing the discrimination in America. The greatness of all those adverted above is appreciated by not simply their contemporaries, but also by their descendants because these greatness lacks of limits whether imposed by political intention or others.

By contrast, some of individuals could not deserve such a fortune as the formers. Their greatness can hardly be not greater than that in the proceeding discussion, the reason the contemporaries does not accept it is that it is imposed on some limits varying from subjective to objective. From the perspective of “subjective” ---- mainly from the political intention------ Liu Shaoqi, the state founder of China, the great militarist, the chairman of Party, persecuted to death during the Revolutionary Culture, whose reputation was renewed until about 20 years later is just an exact case in point. This kind of limit is imposed by the time and the politics. From the perspective of “objective”----- mainly from the inability of knowing the nature------The countless examples in the history of Noble Praise that scientists’ new theories cannot be accepted during a period varying from years to tens of years ------ Max Planck’s 18 years waiting for the Noble Praise?不适合的表达, or in the field of art, Van Gogh’s years of “waiting” in the heaven for recognizing and the like. This kind of limit is imposed by the inability in understanding new things. Therefore, limits are the crux in making decision on evaluating the greatness of individuals.文中出现等待的表达都不是很适合，Gogh那个倒还可以，毕竟有了一个引号，而引号是否这么表达需要确认一下，是单引还是双引，而且在美国是否用引号表示反语幽默之类的确认一下

To sum up, since limits play such an essential role in determining people’s estimation on the greatness of individuals, what we should do is to avoid the subjective limits and decrease the objective limits as many as possible, therefore not making any hasty generalization.
【文章立意新颖，把问题归结于主客观条件，从原题的论述进行引申，倒也不失为一种论证方法，第二部分那个引子是否修改一下，更好的含括B3和B4。】

so猫UID: 148633

Issue 36 the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

In the ear of admiring praise leading to the promotion of people’s adherence to evaluating the greatness of individuals, there exists a widespread awareness that only by those who live in the future, not by their contemporaries, can the greatness of individuals be decided. Just valid, however, this conclusion may be, it only skims the surface of the problem. As not approve to the commonly belief, I advocate that the core of the process of evaluating the greatness of individuals cannot be determined only by distinguishing the time they live in but also by the limit on making the decision.好恐怖的开头啊~复杂~

Granted that from the pace of history, what we can see is the fact that an increasing number of misunderstandings have been clarified, however, what we cannot see in the dark corner of the history is, as well, the fact that the crux in determining the proceeding discussion is the limits, such as inability of understanding a new theory, political intention, failure of appreciating a art work and the like, imposed by different time or society or even people.

First, some of the greatness of individuals could be interpreted by their contemporaries mainly due to its lack of limits on the current time. In China we admire Chairman Deng Xiaoping for his contribution to promoting our current life and the increasing amount of money we have gained as In South Africa, they admire David Moulds(就是曼德拉，我查了他的英文名好象是这个) for his bringing liberty to his compatriot especially those who live in slavery; Among women, they adore Mother Teresa for her kindness and love for those who are poor as among Black Americans, they adore Martin Luther King for his persistence and sacrifice in gaining rights and effacing the discrimination in America. The greatness of all those adverted above is appreciated by not simply their contemporaries, but also by their descendants 这~这些人的descendant好象还没出来吧~要说就说更古老一点的吧 至少隔那么一代人吧~ because these greatness lacks of limits whether imposed by political intention or others.

By contrast, some of individuals could not deserve such a fortune as the formers. Their greatness can hardly be not greater than that in the proceeding discussion, the reason the contemporaries does not accept it is that it is imposed on some limits varying from subjective to objective. From the perspective of “subjective” ---- mainly from the political intention------ Liu Shaoqi, the state founder of China, the great militarist, the chairman of Party, persecuted to death during the Revolutionary Culture, whose reputation was renewed until about 20 years later is just an exact case in point. This kind of limit is imposed by the time and the politics. From the perspective of “objective”----- mainly from the inability of knowing the nature------The countless examples in the history of Noble Praise Prize that scientists’ new theories cannot be accepted during a period varying from years to tens of years ------ Max Planck’s 18 years waiting for the Noble Praise, or in the field of art, Van Gogh’s years of “waiting” in the heaven for recognizing and the like. This kind of limit is imposed by the inability in understanding new things. Therefore, limits are the crux in making decision on evaluating the greatness of individuals.

To sum up, since limits play such an essential role in determining people’s estimation on the greatness of individuals, what we should do is to avoid the subjective limits and decrease the objective limits as many as possible, therefore not making any hasty generalization.

case by case 我把这种写法理解成
但是总觉得少了点什么 可能是每段里面的论证不够充分 我觉得论据不少 但是怎么就没见分析和推论呢 感觉理论上说明得少了一些~~~
文章写的思路清晰 但是感觉太过清晰了
没有什么深入的感觉 就单纯说了几个例子 然后总结总结就完了
应该有办法写得更深刻一些的吧

呵呵 我的要求可能太高了 楼主见谅啊~

xuding_godUID: 179213

Issue 36 the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

In the ear of admiring praise leading to the promotion of people’s adherence to evaluating the greatness of individuals, there exists a widespread awareness that only by those who live in the future, not by their contemporaries, can the greatness of individuals be decided.倒装用在这里觉得不是很通顺,容易混淆 Just valid, however, this conclusion may be, it only skims the surface of the problem. As not approve to the commonly belief, I advocate that the core of the process of evaluating the greatness of individuals换个说法,一段中重复出现了,不妥 cannot be determined only by distinguishing the time they live in but also by the limit on making the decision.开头不错,觉得下面应该是case-by-case 的写法了吧

Granted that from the pace of history, what we can see is the fact that an increasing number of misunderstandings have been clarified, however, what we cannot see in the dark corner of the history is, as well, the fact that the crux in determining the proceeding discussion is the limits, such as inability of understanding a new theory, political intention, failure of appreciating a art work and the like, imposed by different time or society or even people.

First, some of the greatness of individuals could be interpreted by their contemporaries mainly due to its lack of limits on the current time. In China we admire Chairman Deng Xiaoping for his contribution to promoting our current life and the increasing amount of money we have gained as In South Africa, they admire David Moulds就是曼德拉，我查了他的英文名好象是这个 for his bringing liberty to his compatriot especially those who live in slavery; Among women, they adore Mother Teresa for her kindness and love for those who are poor as among Black Americans, they adore Martin Luther King for his persistence and sacrifice in gaining rights and effacing the discrimination in America. The greatness of all those adverted above is appreciated by not simply their contemporaries, but also by their descendants because these greatness lacks of limits whether imposed by political intention or others.只有列子,没有深入的分析,觉得应该在TS后再加一来两句自己对这个问题的看法;段末最好能对自己的看法来个总结

By contrast, some of individuals could not deserve such a fortune as the formers. Their greatness can hardly be not greater than that in the proceeding discussion, the reason the contemporaries does not accept it is that it is imposed on some limits varying from subjective to objective. From the perspective of “subjective” ---- mainly from the political intention------ Liu Shaoqi, the state founder of China, the great militarist, the chairman of Party, persecuted to death during the Revolutionary Culture, whose reputation was renewed until about 20 years later is just an exact case in point.老外能了解中国人文化大革命的例字吗,觉得不够有说服力 This kind of limit is imposed by the time and the politics. From the perspective of “objective”----- mainly from the inability of knowing the nature------The countless examples in the history of Noble Praise that scientists’ new theories cannot be accepted during a period varying from years to tens of years ------ Max Planck’s 18 years waiting for the Noble Praise, or in the field of art, Van Gogh’s years of “waiting” in the heaven for recognizing and the like. This kind of limit is imposed by the inability in understanding new things. Therefore, limits are the crux in making decision on evaluating the greatness of individuals.

To sum up, since limits play such an essential role in determining people’s estimation on the greatness of individuals, what we should do is to avoid the subjective limits and decrease the objective limits as many as possible, therefore not making any hasty generalization.结尾显得好匆忙呀,对全文呼应不够
  你的观点和我的差不多,起头的时候给人感觉是要多方面分析,内容也基本做到了这一点,但感觉只要一些例子似乎不能说服大家,加一点自己的议论会好一点.还有觉得结尾有点仓促了.看看我写的吧,觉得比你的差,多提意见.

点自己的议论会好一点.还有觉得结尾有点仓促了.看看我写的吧,觉得比你的差,多提意见.

sblbaslerUID: 175229

首先谢谢各位的拍砖！
TO davidjacky：Max Planck’s 18 years waiting for the Noble Praise 应该怎么表达才合适呢？你应该知道我想表达什么意思吧！至于引号的问题我会尽快确认！
TO SO猫：大姐呀！您的要求是不是有点太高了！呵呵，开个玩笑，你的意见我完全接受，我还有1个多月的时间考试，关于论证深度的问题我最近也有所考虑，希望以后继续探讨！
TO xuding_god： 我的确觉得结尾太匆忙，比Argument的结尾还鸡肋！提点改进的意见吧！你的文章我会看的！先去占个坐！

大家都提到了论证深不深刻这个问题！但怎么才能深刻呢！最好开个帖子讨论一下吧（以前讨论过么？）