argument65看到很多人写,自己也来凑热闹哈

flyingwindUID: 189320

Argument65
------题目------
The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
'For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses.'
------正文------
Before prescribing the final decision focusing on domestic cheeses instead of former both domestic and imported cheeses, the president seems to be making a questionable inference based on a seemingly poor sales of imported cheeses in a newest store and a vague survey by a magazine. The flaws involved are listed as follow:
       
First, though last year the top five best-selling cheeses at the newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses, in itself it is not enough that imported cheese sales poor. Maybe the sales difference varies little between two kinds of cheese. It is noted that top five best-selling cheeses are favorable, but maybe the other domestic cheese are less favorable than any kind of the imported cheeses. Thus, it is most likely that the total sales of imported cheeses are much larger than overall sales of domestic cheeses.

Second, the one year's better sales cannot provide that in the future it works the same. Perhaps last year's sale is aberrance. Or perhaps except last year, people were always fond of imported cheese than that of domestic. Furthermore, best-selling of cheeses do not necessarily mean best-profit of cheeses. The profit is a function of both revenues and cost. If the newest store attempt to promote selling the cheeses that was unfavorable by way of decreasing the prices to much great extend(even below its productive cost), then it is most possible that from the so-called best-selling cheeses the newest store even meet the price bottom-line, left alone making profit. In turn it reflects that the imported cheeses are more favorable.

Third, even I concede that the newest store get more profit form the domestic cheeses, it cannot convince me that all the other stores can work following the same way as the newest store. Maybe the well sales of domestic cheeses are attributed to a huge decreased price of those cheeses to celebrate the opening of new stores as well as to appeal the new customers. Or perhaps the newest stores gaining the great selling achievement are due to their locations, where many trousers patronized or many people influx. Whereas in the locations other stores reside, there are no such advantages. Failing to considering all these circumstances the president's suggestion that all stores should apply the experience of the newest store is dubious at best.

Finally, the survey by the Cheeses of the World magazine amounts to scant evidence that domestic cheeses are more favorable. To begin with, whether the Cheese of the World magazine is authoritative? If no, why trust its recommendation? Beside, we are not informed any specific information about the survey. To make a survey statistically representative, the survey must embrace enough amounts of samples, and the samples must involve participants from enough wide areas. For example, if the samples are selected only in those locations near foregoing newest store, maybe the reasons cited above can explain it. And it cannot apply to the general public. Moreover, even if assuming the survey is believable, it can represent the point of its subscribers, not those who do not prescribe that magazine. In short, the survey conducted by the magazine is unpersuasive.

In sum, both the selling achievement in the newest store and the survey by a magazine accomplish nothing toward bolstering the recommendation of the president who is in charge of the chain of cheese stores. Given all these scenarios, the recommendation by the president is too premature.

LSDUID: 157855

你还没有考啊？还以为你已经考完了呢:p
占座了，呵呵！

flyingwindUID: 189320

还没有考啊，555
本月24考
进入了个郁闷期，整天对着电脑不想写啊
烦！

ivyshoulUID: 195537

Before prescribing the final decision focusing on domestic cheeses instead of former both domestic and imported cheeses,[总觉得有点不通顺啊] the president seems to be making a questionable inference based on a seemingly poor sales of imported cheeses in a newest store and a vague survey by a magazine. The flaws involved are listed as follow:

First, though last year the top five best-selling cheeses at the newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses, in itself it is not enough[enough怎么样?] that imported cheese sales poor.[不通] Maybe the sales difference varies little between two kinds of cheese.[这样就完了?不进一步解释一下有点没头没脑的] It is noted that top five best-selling cheeses are favorable, but maybe the other domestic cheese are less favorable than any kind of the imported cheeses. Thus, it is most[绝对化了] likely that the total sales of imported cheeses are much larger than overall sales of domestic cheeses.

Second, the one year's better sales cannot provide that in the future it works the same. Perhaps last year's sale is aberrance. Or[不要or,你以下说的解释为什么去年的情况是反常] perhaps except last year, people were always fond of imported cheese than that of domestic. Furthermore, best-selling of cheeses do not necessarily mean best-profit of cheeses. The profit is a function of both revenues and cost. If the newest store attempt[去年的情况了,这里不应该用这个时态] to promote selling the cheeses that was unfavorable by way of decreasing the prices to much great extend(even below its productive cost), then it is most possible that from the so-called best-selling cheeses the newest store even meet the price bottom-line, left alone making profit. In turn it reflects that the imported cheeses are more favorable. [没有道理!凭什么逻辑跑到这里来了?!][关于profit这段处理的不好,主要说了new store那几种卖得好可能是因为大甩卖而实际上根本没赚钱,这个可以归到下一段说new store的战绩没有代表性. 这段可以让步分析其他原因嘛]

Third, even I concede that the newest store get more profit form the domestic cheeses, it cannot convince me that all the other stores can work following the same way as the newest store. Maybe the well sales of domestic cheeses are attributed to a huge decreased price of those cheeses to celebrate the opening of new stores as well as to appeal the new customers. Or perhaps the newest stores gaining the great selling achievement are due to their locations, where many trousers patronized or many people influx. Whereas in the locations other stores reside, there are no such advantages. Failing to considering all these circumstances the president's suggestion that all stores should apply the experience of the newest store is dubious at best.[个人觉得location这个不太好,这个cheese连锁都开到全美去了,总可能有那么许多分店在占了地利吧]

Finally, the survey by the Cheeses of the World magazine amounts to scant evidence that domestic cheeses are more favorable. To begin with, whether the Cheese of the World magazine is authoritative? If no, why trust its recommendation? Beside, we are not informed any specific information about the survey. To make a survey statistically representative, the survey must embrace enough amounts of samples, and the samples must involve participants from enough wide areas. For example, if the samples are selected only in those locations near foregoing newest store, maybe the reasons cited above can explain it. And it cannot apply to the general public. Moreover, even if assuming the survey is believable, it can represent the point of its subscribers, not those who do not prescribe that magazine. [只要满足统计代表性,是可以代表其他人的意见的] In short, the survey conducted by the magazine is unpersuasive.

In sum, both the selling achievement in the newest store and the survey by a magazine accomplish nothing toward bolstering the recommendation of the president who is in charge of the chain of cheese stores. Given all these scenarios, the recommendation by the president is too premature.

flyingwindUID: 189320

谢谢哈
我先看看

flyingwindUID: 189320

感谢ivyshoul，呵呵

我发现理解上和你有比较大的差异啊，我可能该找找原因了，虽然有些地方你说的并不全对。但老外的想法是社么样子呢？

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] Before prescribing the final decision focusing on domestic cheeses instead of former both domestic and imported cheeses,[总觉得有点不通顺啊]    [/B]

这里句子我写的有问题。我再想想

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] [enough怎么样?]    [/B]

呵呵，不会你想找优点吧

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] in itself it is not enough that imported cheese sales poor.不通  [/B]

改下：in itself it is not enough evidence that imported cheese sell poor
sale词性错了

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] [这样就完了?不进一步解释一下有点没头没脑的]    [/B]

这里我觉得多写有罗嗦的感觉。前5个卖900个左右，后面imported卖899个，898个。这样写具体，但是感觉罗嗦。后面点了理由了，是关键。总量的关系

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] [个人觉得location这个不太好,这个cheese连锁都开到全美去了,总可能有那么许多分店在占了地利吧]   [/B]

不会吧？题目是说“所有的”都要用这个方法哦，你再看看题目哈

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] [没有道理!凭什么逻辑跑到这里来了?!][关于profit这段处理的不好,主要说了new store那几种卖得好可能是因为大甩卖而实际上根本没赚钱,这个可以归到下一段说new store的战绩没有代表性. 这段可以让步分析其他原因嘛]
[/B]

你没错，可是很多的逻辑错误可以放在不同的地方分析的。我这里的逻辑没有跑吧

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] If the newest store attempt[去年的情况了,这里不应该用这个时态]   [/B]

you right！改为：过去时

最初由 flyingwind 发布
[B] [只要满足统计代表性,是可以代表其他人的意见的]  [/B]

他的统计的pool是在subscriber中的，可以统计代表性满足的话是可以代表subscriber的意见，但是能代表其他人吗？subscriber=cheese customer？

LSDUID: 157855

Argument65
------题目------
The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
'For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. [Last year], however, the five best-selling cheeses at [our newest store] were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent [survey] by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the [best way] to improve [profits] in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses.'
------正文------
Before prescribing the final decision focusing on domestic cheeses instead of former both domestic and imported cheeses, the president seems to be making[为什么用这种形式？] a questionable inference based on a seemingly poor sales of imported cheeses in a newest store and a vague survey by a magazine. The flaws involved are listed as follow:[开头总结得很好啊，pfpf]

First, though last year the top five best-selling cheeses at the newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses, in itself it is not enough that imported cheese sales poor.[这后半句话有点问题吧 it is not indicate that imported cheese sales poor.] Maybe the sales difference varies little between [the] two kinds of cheese. It is noted that top five best-selling cheeses are favorable, but maybe the other domestic cheese are less favorable than any kind of the imported cheeses. Thus, it is most likely that the total sales of imported cheeses are much larger than overall sales of domestic cheeses.

Second, the one year's better sales cannot provide [guarantee] that in the future it works the same. Perhaps last year's sale is aberrance.[这里可以具体写写原因阿，比如它们实行了大减价，所以销售额比较好，但是将来价格回升的话并不能保证还有这么好的业绩] Or perhaps except last year,[in the previous years] people were always fond of imported cheese than that of domestic. Furthermore, best-selling of cheeses do not necessarily mean best-profit of cheeses. The[用since,改写为一个长句，我觉得要好些] profit is a function of both revenues and cost. If the newest store attempt to promote selling the cheeses that was unfavorable by way of decreasing the prices to much great extend(even below its productive cost), then it is most possible that from the so-called best-selling cheeses the newest store even meet the price bottom-line, left alone making profit. In turn it reflects that the imported cheeses are more favorable. [个人认为后面的对于profit的反驳最好另起一段]

Third, even I concede that the newest store get more profit form the domestic cheeses, it cannot convince me that all the other stores can work following the same way as the newest store. Maybe the well sales of domestic cheeses are attributed to a huge decreased price of those cheeses to celebrate the opening of new stores as well as to appeal the new customers. Or perhaps the newest stores gaining the great selling achievement are due to their locations, where many trousers patronized or many people influx. Whereas in the locations other stores reside, there are no such advantages. Failing to considering all these circumstances the president's suggestion that all stores should apply the experience of the newest store is dubious at best.[这段和上一段的前半部分可以用一个错误概括，以偏概全，所以可以写为一段，后半部分可以用similarly来连接]

Finally, the survey by the Cheeses of the World magazine amounts to scant evidence that domestic cheeses are more favorable. To begin with, whether the Cheese of the World magazine is authoritative? If no, why trust its recommendation? Beside, we are not informed any specific information about the survey. [To make a survey statistically representative, the survey must embrace enough amounts of samples, and the samples must involve participants from enough wide areas.这个后面有具体写到，所以不用说明了，要注意时间哦，你这篇argument好长啊：]］ For example, if the samples are selected only in those locations near foregoing newest store, maybe the reasons cited above can explain it. And it cannot apply to the general public. Moreover, even if assuming the survey is believable, it can represent the point of its subscribers, not those who do not prescribe that magazine. In short, the survey conducted by the magazine is unpersuasive.[这段反驳survey写得不错，比较具体]

In sum, both the selling achievement in the newest store and the survey by a magazine accomplish nothing toward bolstering the recommendation of the president who is in charge of the chain of cheese stores. Given all these scenarios, the recommendation by the president is too premature.
[胜利在望，加油！]

flyingwindUID: 189320

谢谢LSD先, 具体的我再想一下
哪天跑到华西找你交流交流哈

1。[这后半句话有点问题吧 it is not indicate that imported cheese sells poor.]
对！这里我的话不通。

2.[guarantee]
这个词好！

3[这里可以具体写写原因阿]；[个人认为后面的对于profit的反驳最好另起一段]
前面你说的多展开一点的话；后面的确可以重分一段！

4。.[这段和上一段的前半部分可以用一个错误概括，以偏概全，所以可以写为一段，后半部分可以用similarly来连接]
呵呵，看来我要好好反省一下拉。逻辑有问题哦我

5。要注意时间哦，你这篇argument好长啊
就是啊，总是写不完；觉得argument千疮百孔的，哎~~

LSDUID: 157855

呵呵，欢迎欢迎：）
你的作文已经有很大的进步了
ＡＤＤ　ＯＩＬ！