Issue 36 同主题写作 50分钟限时

sweetlindaUID: 193850

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
------正文------
Without the background of history, economics and society, the judgment that whether an individual is great or not often has problems of lacking justice. Thus, the greatness of individuals which is decided by their contemporaries even may be considered not completely right afterwards, reveals the essentials of greatness: to maximize the benefits of contemporary people.

The greatness of an individual lies on the thoughts and behaviors. While some deeds only benefit the contemporary people, some may have consistent positive affection. To those individuals who have done what are, despite of the change of time, considered right, the praises last until today. Lincoln, an American president who abolished the slavery, was accepted as a great leader from 19th century to nowadays in that the abolishment of slavery promotes the development of the human society, and even new born babies today also benefit from this great behavior.

However, not all people considered great by their contemporary are still emphasized today. Because most people in modern society, as the culture keeps developing, are familiar with or even against those former great things. Can we deny the genius of Gauss who developed a much easier way of calculating sum of arrays just because this way is common in textbooks of primary students? Apparently not. The breakthrough was created by Gauss brought partially the greatness to him in his time and also confirms people after him, however familiar are people with it, keep the opinion that Gauss is great. Because that is the milestone in math history.

Moreover, some behaviors helped people much in their time, are proved to be not beneficial actually today. It seems that since the deeds are ultimately negative, those who conducted these once considered great should not have the honor now. However, the just judgment will keep the conclusion. No people are free from the limit of society, technology, history and culture. To judge whether an individual is great or not, the first thing to do is to rebuild the environment--technology level, society belief, culture trend and so on--of this person as exactly as possible. Only with these backgrounds, can we determine the greatness exists or not. Take the invention of "666", an effective pesticide developed in 1950's, for example. The chemist who invented it was awarded Nobel Prize, which is the supreme honor of scientists. However, after careful study after the compound was worldwide used, scientists discover that it is one cause of the decrease of ozone. Then this pesticide is forbidden in most countries quickly. If we judge only by the total effects of this compound, the result is indeed negative. But with the consideration of technology level in that time, we have no reasons to blame the chemist. After all, the pesticide had its positive effect and solved the primary problem of that age. When the protection of environment becomes more important than killing insects, people should keep the respect on what the chemist has done, and admit the greatness in society development, just not as greatly as his contemporaries.

The greatness of an individual suffers constraints from many factors, and people who live after the person, once omit these limits, easily draw a conclusion unfairly. Thus the determination of greatness is more reliable from people who lived with this person.

sweetlindaUID: 193850

自己顶一下

xuding_godUID: 179213

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
------正文------
Without the background of history, economics and society, the judgment that whether an individual is great or not often has problems of lacking justice.(怎么理解呀这句话,"抛开历史,经济,社会的背景,个人是否伟大的判断标准有失公正"?) Thus, the greatness of individuals which is decided by their contemporaries even may be considered not completely right afterwards, reveals the essentials of greatness: to maximize the benefits of contemporary people.

The greatness of an individual lies on the thoughts and behaviors. While some deeds only benefit the contemporary people, some may have consistent positive affection. To those individuals who have done what are(没看懂), despite of the change of time, considered right, the praises last until today. Lincoln, an American president who abolished the slavery, was accepted as a great leader from 19th century to nowadays in that the abolishment of slavery promotes the development of the human society, and even new born babies today also benefit from this great behavior.(似乎与你的论点关系不大呀,而且没有展开,显得单薄)

However, not all people considered great by their contemporary are still emphasized today. Because most people in modern society, as the culture keeps developing, are familiar with or even against those former great things. Can we deny the genius of Gauss who developed a much easier way of calculating sum of arrays just because this way is common in textbooks of primary students? Apparently not. The breakthrough was created by Gauss brought partially the greatness to him in his time and also confirms people after him, however familiar are people with it, keep the opinion that Gauss is great. Because that is the milestone in math history.

Moreover, some behaviors helped people much in their time,(which)are proved to be not beneficial actually today. It seems that since the deeds are ultimately negative, those who conducted these once considered great should not have the honor now. However, the just judgment will keep the conclusion. No people are free from the limit of society, technology, history and culture. To judge whether an individual is great or not, the first thing to do is to rebuild the environment--technology level, society belief, culture trend and so on--of this person as exactly as possible. Only with these backgrounds, can we determine the greatness exists or not. Take the invention of "666", an effective pesticide developed in 1950's, for example. The chemist who invented it was awarded Nobel Prize, which is the supreme honor of scientists. However, after careful study after the compound was worldwide used, scientists discover that it is one cause of the decrease of ozone. Then this pesticide is forbidden in most countries quickly. If we judge only by the total effects of this compound, the result is indeed negative. But with the consideration of technology level in that time, we have no reasons to blame the chemist. After all, the pesticide had its positive effect and solved the primary problem of that age. When the protection of environment becomes more important than killing insects, people should keep the respect on what the chemist has done, and admit the greatness in society development, just not as greatly as his contemporaries.(这段话比较好,和论点比较紧密,这样就使得前几段论述有点鸡肋了)

The greatness of an individual suffers constraints from many factors, and people who live after the person, once omit these limits, easily draw a conclusion unfairly. Thus the determination of greatness is more reliable from people who lived with this person.

(总的来说文章有不少语法错误,要注意.既然你是想说明the determination of greatness is more reliable from people who lived with this person.,那么在这上面就该多着墨而省略前面的阐述.)
我也是个新手,看法很有限,还望多交流,麻烦看看我的吧,多提意见呢

yiyi2005UID: 192894

Without the background of history, economics and society, the judgment that whether an individual is great or not often has problems of lacking justice.judgment has problems of lacking justice通顺吗? Thus, the greatness of individuals which is decided by their contemporaries even may be considered not completely right afterwards, reveals the essentials of greatness: to maximize the benefits of contemporary people.

The greatness of an individual lies on the thoughts and behaviors. While some deeds only benefit the contemporary people, some may have consistent positive affectioninfluence. To those individuals who have done what are, despite of the change of time, considered right, the praises last until today. Lincoln, an American president who abolished the slavery, was accepted as a great leader from 19th century to nowadays in that the abolishment of slavery promotes the development of the human society, and even new born babies today also benefit from this great behavior.

However, not all people considered great by their contemporary are still emphasized today. Because most people in modern society, as the culture keeps developing, are familiar with or even against those former great things. Can we deny the genius of Gauss who developed a much easier way of calculating sum of arrays just because this way is common in textbooks of primary students? Apparently not. The breakthrough was created by Gauss brought partially the greatness to him in his time and also confirms people after him, however familiar are people with it, keep the opinion that Gauss is great. Because that is the milestone in math history.

Moreover, some behaviors helped people much in their time, are proved to be not beneficial actually today. It seems that since the deeds are ultimately negative, those who conducted these once considered great should not have the honor now. However, the just judgment will keep the conclusion. No people are free from the limit of society, technology, history and culture. To judge whether an individual is great or not, the first thing to do is to rebuild the environment--technology level, society belief, culture trend and so on--of this person as exactly as possible. Only with these backgrounds, can we determine the greatness exists or not. Take the invention of "666", an effective pesticide developed in 1950's, for example. The chemist who invented it was awarded Nobel Prize, which is the supreme honor of scientists. However, after careful study after the compound was worldwide used, scientists discover that it is one cause of the decrease of ozone. Then this pesticide is forbidden in most countries quickly. If we judge only by the total effects of this compound, the result is indeed negative. But with the consideration of technology level in that time, we have no reasons to blame the chemist. After all, the pesticide had its positive effect and solved the primary problem of that age. When the protection of environment becomes more important than killing insects, people should keep the respect on what the chemist has done, and admit the greatness in society development, just not as greatly as his contemporaries.

The greatness of an individual suffers constraints from many factors, and people who live after the person, once omit these limits, easily draw a conclusion unfairly. Thus the determination of greatness is more reliable from people who lived with this person.
文章的论点是Thus, the greatness of individuals which is decided by their contemporaries even may be considered not completely right afterwards, reveals the essentials of greatness: to maximize the benefits of contemporary people.伟大的本质
b1The greatness of an individual lies on the thoughts and behaviors.伟大体现在思想和行为
b2However, not all people considered great by their contemporary are still emphasized today.有些伟大现在不在被强调了
b3Moreover, some behaviors helped people much in their time, are proved to be not beneficial actually today.实际上对原时代有帮助的伟大对现在还是有益的整个论证有些脱节,特别是body1和后面两节
改的不好还请指教

sweetlindaUID: 193850

Thanks a lot!
本来感觉思路不是很清晰，几个方面都想讨论的，看来还是要集中火力