issue124 科技方面 轻拍砖,必会拍(谢谢)

crazyfox3UID: 171430

ISSUE 124
Instant foods,instant communication,faster transportation-all of these recent developments are designed to save time.Ironically though,instead of making more leisure time available, these development have contributed to a pace of human affairs that is more rushed and more frantic than ever before.

WRITING:
Contemporary society develops so fast that many developments are designed,such as the instant foods, instant communication,the faster food and so on,The speaker claimed that it is ironcally that those recent development have contributed to human affairs more frantic and rushed, although these things are use to save the leisure time.As far as I am concerned,I disagree with the speaker.The instant developments are not only to save time,also,the rushed and frantic life does not result form those recent developments.

To begin with, it is true that those development can save the time for the human-being in the communication, transportation, food or other fields. Having the mobile phone, instead of a face-to-face talking which, people can talk to others no matter how long the distance is between them. When the motor vehicle have been devised, people save a lot of time on the way. But,can we say that those developed things are designed for saving people's time? Absolutely not!Such instant things can give a convenient life to human being. Take the cooking as an example. A people is so tired that he can not do anything, so if he want to eat someting ,he must choose the instant foods, because those kinds of food are much easier to perpare than the dinner.So, saving time just is one aspect of the fast things.

In the second place, those recent developments do not contribute the human's life more rushed and frantic. What is the real reason? It is the demand. Human are never content with what they have.They always want the things that they have more and more , better and better. Therefore, they must word harder than before.For instance, when the bike was divised, people are not content with its slow rate, so another kind of transportation was developed--the automatic vehicle.After the telephone was designed, a kind of telephone come into our life which can be taken to anywhere--the mobile phone. So, in fact, what drive contemporary people have a frantic and rushed life is not those recent developments but the need.

However, as those recent developments making have a convenient and efficient social life, they also bring a lot of problem to the citizen. Eating much fast food will lead peopel get the healthy problems, such as the fat, heart disease and so on. Always taking the bus to go to work or school, people or stutends may not get enough time to take exercise which also can cause some healthy problems.The rushed life will give a heavy pressure to the citizen which can lead to some social problem. So, the society should pay attention to those problems which are caused by contemporary life.

In conclusion,those recent development are designed not only to save the time but also to give human a convenient and efficient life and we also shloud pay attention to the problems which are caused by the human's need and demand

crazyfox3UID: 171430

请拍吧,快考了,兄弟们啊,谢谢

crazyfox3UID: 171430

真的没人拍么？？

dvdwormUID: 168213

Instant foods,instant communication,faster transportation-all of these recent developments are designed to save time.Ironically though,instead of making more leisure time available, these development have contributed to a pace of human affairs that is more rushed and more frantic than ever before.

WRITING:
Contemporary society develops so fast that many developments(这个词放在整个句子种怎么怪怪的，还不入用things) are designed,such as the instant foods, instant communication,the faster food(transportation,food ,已经说过了呀) and so on,The speaker claimed that it is ironcally that those recent development have contributed to human affairs more frantic and rushed, although these things are use to save the leisure time.As far as I am concerned,I disagree with the speaker.The instant developments are not only to save time,also,the rushed and frantic life does not result form those recent developments.（这句话我整个改一下，你看是不是好一点：The instant developments do save us a lot of time, the rushed and frantic life does not result from them.）

To begin with, it is true that those development(developments) can save the time for the human-being in the communication, transportation, food or other fields. Having the mobile phone, instead of a face-to-face talking which(去掉which), people can talk to others no matter how long the distance is between them(如果这样写可以把mobile phone 换为phone，一般的电话也可以完成你说的功能，换句话说你没有写出mobile phone 的特点). When the motor vehicle have been devised, people save a lot of time on the way. But,can we say that those developed things are designed for saving people's time? Absolutely not!Such instant things can give a convenient life to human being. Take the cooking as an example. A people is so tired that he can not do anything（换成后面的prepare dinner吧，can not do anything还能去加工instant foods吗）, so if he want to eat someting ,he must choose the instant foods,（他可以去餐馆呀，为什么必须选择快餐，快餐还要加工） because those kinds of food are much easier to perpare than the dinner.So, saving time just is one aspect of the fast things.[这一段在大的方面没很大问题，在是在个别句子上逻辑上不严密，还要好好改改]

In the second place, those recent developments do not contribute the human's life more rushed and frantic. What is the real reason? It is the demand. Human are never content with what they have.They always want the things that they have more and more , better and better.（典型的中文式英文） Therefore, they must word harder than before.For instance, when the bike was divised, people are not content with its slow rate, so another kind of transportation was developed--the automatic vehicle.After the telephone was designed, a kind of telephone come into our life which can be taken to anywhere--the mobile phone. So, in fact, what drive contemporary people have a frantic and rushed life is not those recent developments but the need.（与其举很多例子还不如把一个例子说透说深）

However, as those recent developments making have a convenient and efficient social life（这句话我看不懂）, they also bring a lot of problem to the citizen. Eating much fast food will lead peopel get the healthy problems, such as the fat, heart disease and so on. Always taking the bus to go to work or school, people or stutends may not get enough time to take exercise which also can cause some healthy problems.The rushed life will give a heavy pressure to the citizen which can lead to some social problem. So, the society should pay attention to those problems which are caused by contemporary life.

In conclusion,those recent development are designed not only to save the time but also to give human a convenient and efficient life and we also shloud pay attention to the problems which are caused by the human's need and demand

我只看了前两段，后面扫了一下，如果时间不是很紧的话你还要在语言上下很大工夫，因为语言已经影响了你表达自己的思想。其次建议仔细看看ets范文，好好体会一下issue的写法。没关系，大家都是一步一步走过来的，多看，多写，多想，多改，你会写的越来越好的，加油。

指向大海UID: 158737

[考前一天你帮我改了ISSUE93，谢谢，现在回砖]
Contemporary society develops so fast that many developments[advanced devices是不是好一些] are designed,such as the instant foods, instant communication,the faster food and so on,The speaker claimed that it is ironcally that those recent development have contributed to human affairs more frantic and rushed, although these things are use to save the leisure time.As far as I am concerned,I disagree with the speaker.The instant developments are not only to save time,also,the rushed and frantic life does not result form those recent developments.[开头为典型的背景加论点方式，不错，不过不要抄过多原文的题目]

To begin with, it is true that those development can save the time for the human-being in the communication, transportation, food or other fields. Having the mobile phone, instead of a face-to-face talking which, people can talk to others no matter how long the distance is between them[how long the distance between is]. When the motor vehicle have been devised, people save a lot of time on the way. But,can we say that those developed things are[only] designed for saving people's time?[？你后面不是说是一个方面么，省时间当然对了，又这么绝对的否定干吗？] Absolutely not!Such instant things can give a convenient life to human being. Take the cooking as an example. A people is so tired that he can not do anything, so if he want to eat someting ,he must choose the instant foods, because those kinds of food are much easier to perpare than the dinner.So, saving time just is one aspect of the fast things.

In the second place, those recent developments do not contribute the human's life more rushed and frantic. What is the real reason? It is the demand.[这个主题句不地道，不要用问句it is the demand rather than recent development that contribute to the human's life more rushed and frantic] Human are never content with what they have.They always want the things that they have more and more , better and better[考虑是不是用更地道的用法？]. Therefore, they must word[work!] harder than before.For instance, when the bike was divised, people are not content with its slow rate, so another kind of transportation was developed--the automatic vehicle.After the telephone was designed, a kind of telephone come into our life which can be taken to anywhere--the mobile phone. So, in fact, what drive contemporary people have a frantic and rushed life is not those recent developments but the need.[这段的观点是很好的，就是人们需求多了，可以多写些例子]

However, as those recent developments making have a convenient and efficient social life, they also bring a lot of problem to the citizen. Eating much fast food will lead peopel get the healthy problems, such as the fat, heart disease and so on. Always taking the bus to go to work or school, people or stutends may not get enough time to take exercise which also can cause some healthy problems.The rushed life will give a heavy pressure to the citizen which can lead to some social problem. So, the society should pay attention to those problems which are caused by contemporary life.

In conclusion,those recent development are designed not only to save the time but also to give human a convenient and efficient life and we also shloud pay attention to the problems which are caused by the human's need and demand

[文章的思路可以明显的看出来，结尾仓促，希望能何开头一样有模板，语言仍需锤炼
破题不是很好，题目属于新与旧类，是讲新技术是不是使我们的生活更舒适闲暇了还是更疲于奔命了？你的B2很好，但B3的让步些错了，光讲对健康的危害，这题使要你说对人们生活方式的影响，因为我也没写过不知道还可以有什么分论点可以说，但B3建议改
我一向批的比较狠，别介意啊，其实整体使不错的，考试时写成这样可以了]