issue36 同主题写作

runningpiggyUID: 194977

真的越写越郁闷阿，篇幅太短了，sigh。。。
后来做了点修改

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
------正文------
Albeit the advocates of a widespread notion that the greatness of individuals can be decided by those who live after them instead of their contemporaries overstate the significance of the time in the procedure of cognition, and overlook some exceptions that the contemporaries are able to realize the individuals' greatness, partially I concur with such a belief for it is warranted in most of the cases.

The greatness of individuals, which most probably is achieved by the outstanding people, expresses a value that is rarely intelligible for the contemporaries, as a result, the contemporaries may not have the insight to realize the real value of the works of the individuals. The tragedy of Picasso and Van Gogh serves as great examples. Distinguished as the works that these two remarkable impressionists created, they were struggling towards poverty in all their lives for their works cannot be sold in their time. Ironically, their works in nowadays, which were once abandoned by their contemporaries, are breaking the records of selling price of art works continuously. The answer why the contemporaries of their ages are not able to recognize the value of their works lies in that Picasso and Van Gogh’s ideas considerably surpassed those of their contemporaries and accordingly are unintelligible. Thus, the greatness of individuals are probably unable to be appreciated by their contemporaries due to their limitations of thought.

Moreover, it is time that renders the individuals' greatness to be recognized for limitations of the cognitions towards the nature and the methods to explore the nature. Such a statement can be thoroughly interpreted in the field of natural science. Mendeleyev, the preeminent Russian chemist, invented the periodic chart of elements and predicted the existence of some elements. Nonetheless, his theory and prediction could not be proved until the discovery of such elements. Comparatively, the predictions of the eclipses, Pluto, the most distant planet in the solar system from the sun, and so on, all have to be justified by time. The idea that sometimes the greatness of individuals can only be recognized and decided after a period of time due to the limits of humans’ ability to explore the world are sufficiently verified by the instances discussed above. Hence, taking such examples into consideration, I have to say that some of the individuals' greatness can only be recognized in a later time.

Admittedly, there are times when the individuals' greatness can be decided by the contemporaries. For example, the importance of Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, the preeminent physician in the 20th century, was recognized and decided by the contemporaries, and consequently, he was given his second Nobel Prize. Furthermore, not only in the field of science, but also in humanity the individuals' greatness can be realized by the contemporaries. Schopenhauer, the outstanding German philosopher after Hegel and before Nietzsche, gained his fame the philosophy during the end of his life. We can infer from the experiences of Einstein and Schopenhauer that the chances that contemporaries are able to realize the individuals’ greatness exists and we cannot exclude such cases and presumptuously assert that contemporaries are unable to recognize and decide the greatness of individuals. In conclusion, even though such cases are rare, the greatness of individuals can be recognized by their contemporaries occasionally.

In summary, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by the contemporaries depends on the occasions, in other words most probably the significance of individuals can only be decided by the people of later time, nevertheless, we should not ignore the several instances that the contemporaries are able to realize and decide the individuals' importance.

davidjackyUID: 135962

推荐和

https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... 1296508#post1296508

互改一下，然后我再看看。

kkytUID: 188814

偶来看看

runningpiggyUID: 194977

ding

kkytUID: 188814

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
------正文------
Albeit the advocates of a widespread notion that the greatness of individuals can be decided by those who live after them instead of their contemporaries overstate the significance of the time in the procedure of cognition, and overlook some exceptions that the contemporaries are able to realize the individuals' greatness, partially I concur with such a belief for it is warranted in most of the cases.[上来就让步？偶觉得表达的自己的观点不是很清，你是部分赞同吧]

The greatness of individuals, which most probably is achieved by the outstanding people, expresses a value that is rarely intelligible for the contemporaries, as a result, the contemporaries may not have the insight to realize the real value of the works of the individuals.[Ts句太绝对rarely不好，而且太长，最好简洁一下，把原因放在后面解释，而不是做TS] The tragedy of Picasso and Van Gogh serves as great examples. Distinguished as the works that these two remarkable impressionists created, they were struggling towards poverty in all their lives for their works cannot be sold in their time. Ironically, their works in nowadays, which were once abandoned by their contemporaries, are breaking the records of selling price of art works continuously. The answer why the contemporaries of their ages are not able to recognize the value of their works lies in that Picasso and Van Gogh’s ideas considerably surpassed those of their contemporaries and accordingly are[were] unintelligible. Thus, the greatness of individuals are [is]  probably unable to be appreciated by their contemporaries due to their limitations of thought.[ 我到觉得把最后一句提到前面做TS不错]

Moreover,[ it is time that renders the individuals' greatness to be recognized for limitations of the cognitions towards the nature and the methods to explore the nature.这句没看明白结构] Such a statement can be thoroughly interpreted in the field of natural science. Mendeleyev, the preeminent Russian chemist, invented the periodic chart of elements and predicted the existence of some elements. Nonetheless, his theory and prediction could not be proved until the discovery of such elements. Comparatively,[相比较的？这两个例子不是平行么？] the predictions of the eclipses, Pluto, the most distant planet in the solar system from the sun, and so on, all have to be justified by time.[ The idea that sometimes the greatness of individuals can only be recognized and decided after a period of time due to the limits of humans’ ability to explore the world are sufficiently verified by the instances discussed above.][你在这一段到底要强调什么？time或 limit of humans’ ability?] Hence, taking such examples into consideration, I have to say that some of the individuals' greatness can only be recognized in a later time.[at a later time]
[这段按说应该是从另一个方面或递进层面去分析的，但是感觉你好象有些话和B1区别不大]

Admittedly, there are times when the individuals' greatness can be decided by the contemporaries. For example, the importance of Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, the preeminent physician in the 20th century, was recognized and decided by the contemporaries, and consequently, he was given his second Nobel Prize. Furthermore, not only in the field of science, but also in humanity the individuals' greatness can be realized by the contemporaries. Schopenhauer, the outstanding German philosopher after Hegel and before Nietzsche, gained his fame the philosophy during the end of his life. We can infer from the experiences of Einstein and Schopenhauer that the chances that contemporaries are able to realize the individuals’ greatness exists [exist] and we cannot exclude such cases and presumptuously assert that contemporaries are unable to recognize and decide the greatness of individuals. In conclusion, even though such cases are rare, the greatness of individuals can be recognized by their contemporaries occasionally.
[为什么用by occasionally ，随机？没有规律]

In summary, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by the contemporaries depends on the occasions, in other words most probably the significance of individuals can only be decided by the people of later time, nevertheless, we should not ignore the several instances that the contemporaries are able to realize and decide the individuals' importance.
[结构上：总的来说，你的文章结构很清析，传统的开头结尾三段论]
[语言上：感觉长句用的很多，但多注意主谓一致]
[逻辑上：感觉你的分析还不到位，仅用by occasions很难说服人为什么后代人决定的机会就多]

runningpiggyUID: 194977

it is time that renders the individuals' greatness to be recognized for(这个for用错了, 应该是because of) limitations of the cognitions towards the nature and the methods to explore the nature.
整句话就是说个人的伟大需要时间去检验, 因为当代人在认识世界与探索世界上的局限