本帖最后由 Adara_Law 于 2023-3-9 06:20 编辑
原文在此【请大家打开看Personal Statement 4】：https://admissions.law.yale.edu/ ... ation_Materials.pdf
阅读小提示：请大家根据我们撰写的提示去先自己思考文章，再看解析哦，这样才会有效果！！
This is a great personal statement, and I want everyone to notice something: the student doesn’t talk about law school at all!!
This student got into YALE … and their personal statement was considered so compelling/excellent that Yale Law Admissions chose to use it as a sample. This essay proves again the conception that you MUST discuss “why law” in your PS is wrong. Time and time again, we see students come to us with a misconception that you MUST discuss why law in your personal statement… If it were true that only way to write a good PS is to talk about “why law”, then this student would have been rejected from Yale.
As a student, your goal ought to be focused on writing the most compelling PS you can write. You should not be focused or attached to the concept on writing one type of personal statement, (i.e. Why Law, Overcoming Adversity, etc.) but rather you ought to be flexible and choose to write the form of personal statement which you can write in the most compelling fashion.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: read the sample personal statement yourself first and ask yourself this question “what makes this personal statement compelling?”. Write down your answers. IF you cannot write down anything, or if what you write down is very different from our analysis below … this is probably a sign that you don’t know what makes a U.S. Law School Personal Statement compelling. And if you don’t even know what makes a personal statement compelling… the odds of you actually writing a compelling personal statement are low, at best.
Now let’s get into the analysis:
Despite what I’ve stated above (that there is no discussion at all about law school directly), the experiences discussed with this PS are OBVIOUSLY LAW ADJACENT. Meaning that the experiences, qualities, and character traits that the writer is exemplifies are qualities that will translate into being an attorney/practicing law. This is a requirement, what you discuss in your personal statement must be relevant to law school and/or being an attorney in some way.
Let’s have another quiz … what are the qualities and character traits which the writer has shown through this essay? Please write down your answers first, and then compare with the answers below.
The three main character traits demonstrated through this essay are: (1) Thoughtfulness; (2) Empathy and (3) Pragmatism.
(1) Thoughtfulness: This is the central character trait/quality this student demonstrates. This student does an excellent job of taking an initial concept, gradually applies it in increasingly complex situations, and then finally discusses what they’ve learned. It’s an interesting story, and one which shows their mental and emotional growth.
The initial concept is actually very simple: good vs. evil. But it’s not the complexity of the topic that makes this statement great, it is the writer’s own thoughts and analysis of the topic that tells the Admissions Counsel something about them. This student took a simple concept/worldview and applied it beautifully to the issues of crime and opportunity in the United States where there is no clear good vs. evil.
The writer then moves on and describes to Admission how their views changed were reshaped due to this experience, AND what they are doing differently in approaching similar situations moving forward. These are steps we almost never see students take.
It’s very easy and does not take a high IQ to write a story which contains a racist encounter, and then to make a blanket statement like “racism is wrong”. If your PS’s ultimate statement is “racism is wrong” … you haven’t distinguished yourself much. Almost every applicant you’re competing against can make the same statement. To make your PS more thoughtful and compelling, it should also answer questions like “How did this experience shape and change your views?” and “What are you going to do differently moving forward?”.
Overall lesson: You do NOT need to write about the world’s most complex issue to make a compelling PS, but you DO need to analyze and discuss whatever concept you choose in a thoughtful and profound manner.
(2) Empathy: this student also exemplifies the character trait of empathy for others, and clearly shows this trait in their discussion of case. The capacity to put yourself in the shoes of others and think from their perspective, is an invaluable skill to have as an attorney. If you’re a litigator, you can use this skill to predict and anticipate what strategies opposing counsel will take. If you’re a transactional attorney, this skill will allow you to better understand the other party’s wants and needs, which will allow you to be a more effective negotiator. This character trait is the sort of thing Admissions officers are looking for, because people with this skill will be better lawyers than those without it.
Overall lesson: Be sure YOU are also writing about and demonstrating qualities Admissions cares about.
(3) Pragmatism/Humility: The best attorneys and the best law students are the ones which will learn the most. The first prerequisite to learning is to admit where you are wrong or acknowledge that you have something to learn. The opposite of this sort of humble attitude is one of arrogance. Arrogant students usually learn the least, because they believe they already know enough. Now you know why Admissions Officer’s and Law School Dean’s always say arrogance is a big red flag…
This student managed to show that they are humble and pragmatic, and willing to learn and improve. They did so through telling a story where they realized that their old worldviews were wrong, and also described how they learned and grew from the experience. YOU DO NOT NEED TO TELL THE EXACT SAME SORT OF STORY!!!! But you should ask yourself the question: what does my personal statement say about me? If your PS comes off as arrogant, or exemplifies some other negative quality which admissions strongly dislikes (i.e. quitting when things are difficult, emotional immaturity, etc.), you should strongly reconsider.
Overall lesson: write a personal statement which paints you and your personal growth in a positive light.
Here's another very important point, this student wrote about their own experiences. Much of what they described was the experience of the boy in the case, but it is still their own first-hand experience because they worked on this case. Many students come to us and want to write about stories or the suffering of others, but these stories have nothing to do with you … anyone can watch a sad documentary on TV and then write about that sad story in their personal statement … but it’s simply not as compelling as writing about your own experiences.
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发表于 2023-3-9 05:56:38
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