Issue 10 向限时作文进军，拍者请留下连结

shengzhongbellUID: 199083

Issue10  第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：46分15秒     447 words
从2005年2月13日16时11分到2005年2月13日16时46分
------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
The speaker claims that governments must promise that their major cities receive the financial support in order to thrive. Personally, I basically agree with the speaker's viewpoint based on the reason that cities play an important role in preserving and generating the nation's cultural traditions. Meanwhile, we can not ignore that rural area also need money to thrive.

To begin with, it is an industry world today. Urbanization is inevitable. Most developed countries are most composed with urban area. Therefore cities represent a nation's culture, ideology and traditions. Take my motherland China for instance, we call Beijing the center of politics, economy and culture. You can find many cultural characters here. This city has thousands of years’ history. Beijing has witnessed many empires’ rise and fall in our nation. Forbidden City is a famous place open to public today. If you go to Beijing, I mightily recommend that you'd better take a tour there. You can find many cultural and religious characters. Furthermore, when people are talking about China, they probably mention Beijing, Shanghai and other big cities. According to that these cities make a great contribution to preserving cultural traditions of the nation, the governments have obligation to provide financial support for those major cities to thrive.

In the second place, most cultural traditions are generated in a nation's major cities. As I mentioned above, Many kings lived in Beijing. Beijing has being our nation's capital for many eras. Most cultural traditions are generated in this city. Si-Her-Yuan is a popular construction in China, it first was built in the king's palace. Then this kind of houses are common all over the country. However, with the rapid development of society, many Si-Her-Yuan are diminishing and replace by high skyscrapers. So the government has passed a policy to protect such traditional construction and pay a lot of money to rebuild some Si-Her-Yuan which is going to collapse.

Finally, we can not overstate the speaker's assertion that governments must give all the financial support to cities. As a matter of fact, some rural area also need money to preserve there cultural traditions, especially in China, a nation's 70% area are rural area. Some rural areas play a significant role in the country's history. For example, a southwestern rural area in China is a place where the Yellow river are generated. As the mother river in our nation, the cultural tradition near the river are becoming less and less. Because most local people intend to go to city for developing. Thus the preservation is difficult. So the government needs to pay some attention to these rural area in order to preserve our cultural traditions.

In sum, the speaker's assertion is reasonable. A nation should finance its major cities according to that these cities primarily generate the nation’s culture and traditions. However, we can not ignore some countryside whose culture and traditions are likewise need preserved.

我自己又修改了一遍，请多指教！

ctxUID: 199330

占座先

ctxUID: 199330

------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
The speaker claims that governments must promise that their major cities receive the financial support in order to thrive. Personally, I basically agree with the speaker's viewpoint based on the reason that cities play an important role in preserving and generating the nation's cultural traditions. Meanwhile, we can not ignore that rural area also need money to thrive.

To begin with, it is an industry world today. Urbanization is inevitable. Most developed countries are most composed？most composed是什么意思，似乎不符事实 with urban area. Therefore cities represent a nation's culture, ideology and traditionstherefore的有些突然. TakeTaking my motherland China for instance, we call Beijing the center of politics, economy and culture. You can find many cultural characters herethere. This city has thousands of years’ history. Beijing has witnessed many empires’ rise and fall in our nation. Forbidden City is a famous place open to public today. If you go to Beijing, I mightily recommendrecommend that you'd better take a tour there. You can find many cultural and religious characters. Furthermore, when people are talking about China, they probably mention Beijing, Shanghai and other big cities. According to that these cities make a great contribution to preserving cultural traditions of the nation, the governments have obligation to provide financial support for those major cities to thrive.

In the second place, most cultural traditions are generated in a nation's major cities. As I mentioned above, Manymany kings lived in Beijing in different time. Beijing has being our nation's capital for many eras. Most cultural traditions are generated in this city. Si-Her-Yuan is a popular construction in China, it first was built in the king's palace. Then this kind of houses areis common all over the country. However, with the rapid development of society, many Si-Her-Yuans are diminishing and replacereplaced by high skyscrapers. So the government has passed a policy to protect such traditional construction and paypaid a lot of money to rebuild some Si-Her-Yuan which is going to collapse.

Finally, we can not overstate the speaker's assertion that governments must give all the financial support to cities. As a matter of fact, some rural area also need money to preserve there cultural traditions, especially in China, a nation's 70% area are rural area语法不对, whose 70% areas are rural areas. Some rural areas play a significant role in the country's history. For example, a southwestern rural area in China is a place where the Yellow river areis generated. As the mother river in our nation, the cultural tradition near the river areis becoming less and less. Because most local people intend to go to city for developing. Thus the preservation is difficult. So the government needs to pay some attention to these rural area in order to preserve our cultural traditions.

In sum, the speaker's assertion is reasonable. A nation should finance its major cities according to that these cities primarily generate the nation’s culture and traditions. However, we can not ignore some countryside whose culture and traditions are去掉 likewise need preserved.

感觉论证不是很有力

shengzhongbellUID: 199083

谢谢CTX的点评，请问要怎样写才能论证有力呢？