issue144, 同主题写作，交晚了一步，大家猛砍！

bluefiaryUID: 184899

Issue144  第4篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：43分1秒     503 words
从2005年2月15日13时3分到2005年2月15日13时43分
------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
When we appreciate some artistic masterpieces of our predecessors, we would be surprised at their great skills in art as well as the great value they leave to us. Then it comes to the question, is it the artist who gives society something of lasting value, rather than critic, as someone would support? From my point of view, while it is reasonable to assume that artists play an important role in creating something of great value, it is unnecessary to trivialize the role of critics.

When we glance at the development of  art , we would definitely acknowledge that the  artists' inspiration and creative works reflect the splendid history of human being.  Take the time of Renaissance for an illustration. After time, many great masterpieces were produced, appreciated, criticized and thus left to us today, such as the Mona Lisa painted by Da vinci, many great sculptures of David, etc. It is the creative minds replete of erratic ideas that bring inspiration to their works.  As a consequence, some great works having lasting value should attribute largely to these prominent artists.

On the other hand, to some extent, the critics' views help the artists to retrospect themselves deeply to bring up creative sparks. Firstly, the critics have the sensitive minds to detect the minute shortcomings of their works, since they are often showing a great aptitude at this. Secondly, the critics are more professional to guide some artists to the right way to their further progress, especially to some freshmen. Finally, due to this, many works are so really excellent that would resist in the process of such criticizing, modifying, and eventually proved their truly and lasting value to posterities. As the time works as merciless filter, only those true great ones survive. Therefore, through the process of artists' creating and critics' evaluating, most of the artistic works today we see are truly great one, and really showing a great value in them.

Nevertheless, the degree of criticism should be well balanced in order to giving artists much free time to display themselves.  If existing harsher critics, in a large sense, they would refrain the ideas and wisdom of artists to express. On the contrary, if we reconcile the two roles effectively, some benefits would ensue. If the critics kept on disparaging Van Goph still after his death, we would not appreciate many of his great works today, and will not even know him at all. If the church still did not commit its unfair judgment, we will not know the great theory of Heliocentric which Galileo largely supported, and countless others in the realm of art. Therefore, only an agreeable balance is founded between them, can the art develop healthily and prosperous.

Just as a famous man ever put, " the world is full of beauty unless we have an pair of eye to discover it."  So in conclusion, it is not only the artists but also the critics together help give a society something of lasting value, the great treasure their posterities own.

kkytUID: 188814

不错,这么快写了这么多字

mariaUID: 197971

先占个座吧，突然有些头疼晚上再帮你看。 我上午也写了这篇但感觉是在没话可说而且又严重超时了，楼住的速度还真是很快阿

kkytUID: 188814

Bluefiary
Issue144 第4篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：43分1秒 503 words
从2005年2月15日13时3分到2005年2月15日13时43分
------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
When we appreciate some artistic masterpieces of our predecessors, we would be surprised at their great skills in art as well as the great value they leave[left] to us. Then it comes to the question, is it the artist who gives society something of lasting value, rather than critic, as someone [the speaker]would support? From my point of view, while[though在开头交好] it is reasonable to assume that artists play an important role in creating something of great value, it is unnecessary to trivialize the role of critics.

When we glance[retrospect] at the development of art, we would definitely acknowledge that the artists' inspiration and creative works reflect the splendid history of human being. Take the time of Renaissance for an illustration. After time, many great masterpieces were produced, appreciated, criticized and thus left to us today, such as the Mona Lisa painted by Da vinci, many great sculptures of David, etc. It is the creative minds replete of[with] erratic ideas that bring inspiration to their works. As a consequence, some great works having lasting value should attribute largely to these prominent artists.

On the other hand, to some extent, the critics' views help the artists to retrospect themselves deeply to bring up creative sparks. Firstly, the critics have the sensitive minds to detect the minute shortcomings of their[their 指谁？换artists’] works, since they are often showing a great aptitude at this. Secondly, the critics are more professional to guide some artists to the right way to their further progress[很难讲艺术家和评论家谁更牛，和一般人比还行], especially to some freshmen. Finally, due to this, many works are so really excellent that would resist in the process of such criticizing, modifying, and eventually proved their truly and lasting value to posterities. [As the time works as merciless filter, only those true great ones survive.][这句偏离论证中心，你的本段TS了] Therefore, through the process of artists' creating and critics' evaluating, most of the artistic works today we see are truly great one, and really showing a great value in them. [这段论述评论家对艺术家的作用,那critics 对一般人的作用呢？]

Nevertheless, the degree of criticism should be well balanced in order to giving artists much free time to display themselves. If existing harsher critics[exists], in a large sense, they would refrain the ideas and wisdom of artists to express. On the contrary, if we reconcile the two roles effectively, some benefits would ensue. If the critics kept on disparaging Van Goph [Gogh]still after his death, we would not appreciate many of his great works today, and will not even know him at all. If the church still did not commit its unfair judgment, we will not know the great theory of Heliocentric which Galileo largely supported, [这不是艺术是科学，况且这也不涉及critics 和artists 的问题] and countless others in the realm of art. Therefore, only an agreeable balance is founded between them, can the art develop healthily and prosperous.[这段总的偏了，评论家不一定就批评作用，评论家可能赞扬艺术作品，而且两个并不是折中的事，Van Goph的作品只所以被认识并不是在和艺术家折中，恰恰是评论家的贡献，是人们认识到了其价值]

Just as a famous man ever put, " the world is full of beauty unless we have an pair of eye to discover it." So in conclusion, it is not only the artists but also the critics together help give a society something of lasting value, the great treasure their posterities own.
[[你的文章除了平衡那段外其余在这么短时间内写的很好，加油，对题目在理解以下可能我也没理解好]

mariaUID: 197971

------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
When we appreciate some artistic masterpieces of our predecessors, we would be surprised at their great skills in art as well as the great value they leave to us. Then it comes to the question,: is it the artist who gives society something of lasting value, rather than critic, as someone would support? From my point of view, while it is reasonable to assume that artists play an important role in creating something of great value, it is unnecessary to trivialize the role of critics.

When we glance at the development of art , we would definitely acknowledge that the artists' inspiration and creative works reflect the splendid history of human being. 这句写成history of human being fills with artist’s inspiration and creative works 更能体现你强调的重点Take the time of Renaissance for an illustration. After time?in that time ba\\吧, many great masterpieces were produced, appreciated, criticized and thus left to us today, such as the Mona Lisa painted by Da vinci,我查的金山词霸达芬奇是Vinci many great sculptures of David, etc. It is the creative minds repleterepleting of erratic为什么会是奇怪那？original 或许更好吧 ideas that bring inspiration to their works. As a consequence, some great works having lasting value should attribute largely to these prominent artists.

On the other hand, to some extent, the critics' views help the artists to retrospect themselves deeply toin order to bring up creative sparks.从这段来看这一句并不是ts Firstly, the critics have the sensitive minds to detect the minute shortcomings of their works, since they are often showing a great aptitude at this. Secondly, the critics are more professional to guide some artists to the right way to their further progress, especially to some freshmen. Finally, due to this, many works are so really重复了 excellent that would resist in不用in吧？the process of such criticizing, modifying, and eventually proved their truly and lasting value to posterities. As the time works as merciless filter, only those true great ones survive. Therefore, through the process of artists' creating and critics' evaluating, most of the artistic works today we see are truly great oneones, and really showingshow a great value in them.

Nevertheless, the degree of criticism should be well balanced in order to givinggive artists much free time to display themselves.偏题了 If existing harsher critics, in a large senseextent, they would refrain the ideas and wisdom重复了改为wisdom ideas吧 of artists to express. On the contrary, if we reconcile the two roles effectively, some benefits would ensue. If the critics kept on disparaging Van Goph goghstill after his death, we would not appreciate many of his great works today, and will not even know him at all. If the church still did not commit its unfair judgment, we will not know the great theory of Heliocentric which Galileo largely supported, and countless others in the realm of art. Therefore, only an agreeable balance is founded between them, can the art develop healthily and prosperous.lasting value 在这一段没有体现

Just as a famous man ever put, " the world is full of beauty unless we have an pair of eye to discover it." So in conclusion, it is not only the artists but also the critics together help give a society something of lasting value, the great treasure their posterities own.
以上都是个人观点不当之处请指出，我自己也写了这篇，感觉真是很烂有空帮我看看吧
https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... 1307680#post1307680

bluefiaryUID: 184899

非常感谢kkyt和maria，在你们的建议之下，我才发觉还有好多要改进。
我等一下把修改过的再传上来。
大家一起努力！