Issue49,文学相关，一个美国朋友的修改全过程！

onlyxiaobaiUID: 198198

原文：------题目------
Imaginative works such as novels, plays, films, fairy tales, and legends present a more accurate and meaningful picture of human experience than do factual accounts. Because the creators of fiction shape and focus reality rather than report on it literally, their creations have a more lasting significance.
1.        Position: Imaginative works are not accurate picture of human experience, but it's meaningful.
2.        Factual accounts are more accurate.
3.        Imaginative works have a more lasting significance than factual accounts.

------正文------
During our long history of evolution and development, humans have created and are creating numerous works, some of which are categorized as imaginative works such as novels, plays, films, fairy tales, and legends, others are more frequently referred to as documentary books which take the responsibility of recording history of mankind. Clearly, the former group is not serving us as to provide accurate picture of human experience, but to depict our society and our life in an artistic way, while the latter strives to offer us a more accurate account of human experience.

As a famous writer once said," literature comes from real life, but it does not equal to real life. Actually literature is above it." Imaginative works create a world that is based upon real world while differs from it in a variety of ways, though in some works the difference is remarkable, while in others trivial. When I read Tropic Of Cancer written by Henry Miller, I could place myself in Paris to follow the main character when he endeavored to cultivate himself to be an outstanding writer while suffering from poverty and hunger nearly everyday. That was the kind of life young people during the beginning of 20th century were leading in Paris if they committed themselves to the idealistic dream of becoming an artist or a literature man. However, this novel does not just contend itself by just reflecting the harsh reality young would-be-artists had to face. It enriched itself by describing a myriad of imaginative dreams of the major character, which apparently was not an accurate picture of life, but a whimsical contemplation and imagination by Miller himself. Thus, imaginative works are often a mixture of reality and subjective imagination, with the former they depicts our society, with the latter they can be qualified to become imaginative.

Compared with imaginative works, factual accounts are just stating events as what they are without any distortion or exaggeration. History chronicles, news printed on newspaper and yearbooks are all factual accounts of events that happened in our society. Undoubtedly, they provide a more accurate picture of human society, human experience included. If you expect to find out exactly on what day human being achieved a great success in exploring the outer space by landing on the moon, you will soon get that from newspapers database, but you will be confused if you consult plays or films, which may suggest you that the moon has already been blown up into pieces before human has a chance to develop sophisticated equipment to land on it.

Although we can find accurate human history with the reference of factual accounts, we cannot deny that imaginative works do have a more lasting significance because
their creativity in shaping and focusing reality rather than report on it literally inspires people and kindle their minds and thoughts. That's why we still read Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Gone with the Wind, but are reluctant to read chronicles, newspapers issued 50 or 100 years ago unless we need to gather some accurate data or information.

Imaginative works present us a world in which we could emancipate our mind, enjoy our fantasies, and flee away a while from boring and harsh reality. Although they cannot provide accurate picture of our experience, they have a more lasting significance than pure accurate records of events.

onlyxiaobaiUID: 198198

Imaginative works such as novels, plays, films, fairy tales, and legends present a more accurate and meaningful picture of human experience than do factual accounts. Because the creators of fiction shape and focus reality rather than report on it literally, their creations have a more lasting significance.
1. Position: Imaginative works are not accurate picture of human experience, but it's meaningful.
2. Factual accounts are more accurate.
3. Imaginative works have a more lasting significance than factual accounts.

------正文------
During our long history of evolution and development, humans have created and are creating numerous works, (改为;)some of which are categorized as imaginative works such as novels, plays, films, fairy tales, and legends, (添加and )others are more frequently referred to as documentary books which take the responsibility of recording (加the)history of mankind. Clearly, the former group is not serving us as(删掉us as) to provide accurate picture of human experience, but (添加rather)to depict our society and our life(lives) in an artistic way, while the latter strives to offer us a more accurate account of human experience.
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Comments from Sarah:
"Numerous" does not quite capture the great number, it means several, may be four or five. Find a bigger word, such as "a multitude of" .

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As a famous writer once said," literature comes from real life, but it does not equal to real life. Actually (,)literature is above it." Imaginative works create a world that is based upon real world while differs (differing)from it in a variety of ways, though in some works the difference is remarkable, while in others trivial. When I read Tropic Of Cancer written by Henry Miller, I could place myself in Paris to follow(to follow 改为 and follow) the main character when he endeavored to cultivate himself to be an outstanding writer while suffering from poverty and hunger nearly everyday. That was the kind of life young people during (in)the beginning of 20th century were leading in Paris if they committed themselves to the idealistic dream of becoming an artist or a literature man(literature man改为literary person). However, this novel does not just contend (contend改为content,大错误，拼写不对) itself by just reflecting the harsh reality young would-be-artists had to face. It enriched （it was enriched）itself(itself 删掉) by describing a myriad of imaginative dreams of the major character（major character改为protagonist）, which ( 删掉which，开始新的一句话 This ...)apparently was not an accurate picture of life, but a whimsical contemplation and imagination by (by 改为of )Miller himself. Thus, imaginative works are often a mixture of reality and subjective imagination, with the former they depict our society, with the latter they can be qualified to become imaginative(最后一句表意不清).
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Comments from Sarah:
enrich: this verb is usually used as something is enriched; things don't usually enrich themselves. So change the sentence into It was enriched by......
They can be qualified to become imaginative : I do not actually understand your meaning. You'd better change it into " They become works of the imagination."

And, good quote and good intro into the paragraph.
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Compared with imaginative works, factual accounts are just stating (factual accounts state )events as what they are without any distortion or exaggeration. History(Historical)chronicles, news printed on newspaper and yearbooks are all factual accounts of events that happened in our society. Undoubtedly, they provide a more accurate picture of human society, human experience included. If you expect to find out exactly on what day human being achieved a (去掉a)great success in exploring the (去掉the)outer space by landing on the moon, you will soon get that(改为：you can quickly obtain information ) from newspapers database, but you will be confused if you consult plays or films, which may suggest you that the moon has already been blown up into pieces before human has a chance to develop sophisticated equipment to land on it.

Although we can find accurate human history with the reference of (by referring to )factual accounts, we cannot deny that imaginative works do have a more lasting significance because
their creativity in shaping and focusing reality rather than report on it literally inspires people and kindle(换成 enlighten) their minds and thoughts. That's why we still read Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Gone with the Wind, but are reluctant to read chronicles, newspapers issued 50 or 100 years ago unless we need to gather some accurate data or information.
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Comments from Sarah:
Smooth transition.
But Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice are both works of Austing, so you'd better choose works from another writer to better uphold your position.
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Imaginative works present us a world in which we could emancipate our mind, enjoy our fantasies, and flee away ( escape for )a while from boring and harsh reality. Although they cannot provide accurate picture of our experience, they have a more lasting significance than pure accurate records of events.
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boyjimUID: 125249

我以前也给鬼子改过~感觉他们更注重文章整体感觉~从来不给你挑语法毛病~当然~非常低级或者非常严重的除外~
不知道考官怎么看了~