issue185 [color=#3600ff]同主题一 补作业 写过的来拍~

boyjimUID: 125249

185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
1丑闻总是能最大限度的吸引人的目光从而达到最大的宣传效果
2演说家和改革者却总是吸引不了人的注意,所以达不到宣传效果
3所以两者相比~丑闻的效果更能引起人们注意
正文---------
In the modern history of human, scandal, which is always something negative, ironically enveloped a mysterious and vivid air. There are times when most of us witness all kinds of scandals including sports, sphere of entertainment, and even politics and academia. But the worst joke in this seemingly ordered, but inside chaos society, is that the scandals have been more often put in the limelight than speakers' or any reformers' action and speech.

It is innate and unique feature of scandal that empowers itself the ability to influence society. Scandals, more often than not, are something unfolded by mass media, and endowed with mystery as well as vividness or even exaggerated romance. This controversial air never fail to draw the attention of the public, which arouse the question, why are we indulging in these stories so much? It is ipso facto. The news on the TV, the headlines on the newspapers and the column on the magazines, are invariably in want of seducing people's curiosity and the intrinsic impulse to purchase them, thus, they always employ abnormal and startling titles as well as extraordinary and dramatic stories to gain highlight, which result in the journalists' craving for original but scaring crusades, especially the private things about some prominent public figures. Hadn't the reporters dig out a myriad of fantastic eye-catching story about public people, our memory about them would have already vanished and perished. It is because of these scandals that we snicker the details, we talk about their influence and we reconsider the whole stories and the meaning. As a consequence, when scandals are discovered and revealed, it give live lessens to us, alert other public figure simultaneously. Watergate made Nixon step down. Zip gate let Clinton shame. Enron destructed itself and Anderson and left eternal scar to the investor and public.

Although speakers or reformers emphasize their idea to public, but the drossy words they used always sound rigid and the content they maintained seldom possess any interest. Thus, even if their ideas sometimes are constructive, we usually take them for granted. Due to the unattractive appearance of their speeches or action, they don't have any funny story but morose argument, they always trap us in the forest of cliché devoid of any elf and fairy, even they are sometimes meaningful but we are less concerned about. Therefore, even though the speakers and reformers propagandize boon, we treat them like a bone.

As a result, nothing can match the scandals in terms of alerting our social states quo, influencing our social trend and providing our materials for conversation. Speaker and reformer may also call for public about pedophilia, but the effects can never compare the target of as much anger as curiosity of Michael Jackson's case.

Retrospectively, notorious as the most scandals are, ironically, they spring beneficial atmosphere in society. And maybe, the forming of scandals, in my opinion, is the natural enemy for the bad behavior of involving people in scandal, and the best alerting example for you and me.

龙非UID: 193190

呵呵，头把交椅我的了

boyjimUID: 125249

龙哥快先给我看看 我偷偷改点在给鬼哥哥看

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

没给你改130可不是偷懒呀。是因为我自己那篇思路上都有问题，不敢给人瞎指挥:o
In the modern history of human, scandal, which is always something negative, ironically enveloped a mysterious and vivid air. There are times when most of us witness all kinds of scandals including sports, sphere of entertainment, and even politics and academia. But the worst joke in this seemingly ordered, but inside chaos society, is that the scandals have been more often put in the limelight than speakers' or any reformers' action and speech.

It is innate and unique feature of scandal that empowers itself the ability to influence society. Scandals, more often than not, are something unfolded by mass media, and endowed with mystery as well as vividness or even exaggerated romance. This controversial air never fail to draw the attention of the public, which arouse the question, why are we indulging in these stories so much? It is ipso facto. 好专业的词拉丁文都用上了-_-！The news on the TV, the headlines on the newspapers and the column on the magazines, are invariably in want of seducing people's curiosity and the intrinsic impulse to purchase them, thus, they always employ abnormal and startling titles as well as extraordinary and dramatic stories to gain highlight, which result in the journalists' craving for original but scaring crusades, especially the private things about some prominent public figures. Hadn't the reporters dig out a myriad of fantastic eye-catching story about public people, our memory about them would have already vanished and perished. It is because of these scandals that we snicker the details, we talk about their influence and we reconsider the whole stories and the meaning.从hadn’t开始到这里都不大明白耶，赐教 As a consequence, when scandals are discovered and revealed, it give live lessens to us, alert other public figure simultaneously. Watergate made Nixon step down. Zip gate let Clinton shame. Enron destructed itself and Anderson and left eternal scar to the investor and public.看完了这段，有个疑问：题目提到的can be useful，以及focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could在哪里表现？前面大半截一直说说人们为虾米爱探究丑闻，以及媒体如何报道。到后面有个as a consequence然后说give live lessens to us不知道这算不算是can be useful捏？而且这个live lessens 后几个例子也只是来表现一下这个live lessens对你说scandals useful的作用不大，为虾米useful？你说到focus our attention的问题了，但注意下题目的重点在can be useful 和 in ways that on speaker or reformer could上面，这里又涉及到scandal和reformer/speaker的作用不同的问题，或者说sandals的特殊作用。觉得这段米有抓到重点上

Although转的和上面有些不连贯，前面都米有提到speaker/reformer speakers or reformers emphasize their idea to public, but the drossy words they used always sound rigid and the content they maintained seldom possess any interest. Thus, even if their ideas sometimes are constructive, we usually take them for granted. Due to the unattractive appearance of their speeches or action, they don't have any funny story but morose argument, they always trap us in the forest of cliché devoid of any elf and fairy, even they are sometimes meaningful but we are less concerned about. Therefore, even though the speakers and reformers propagandize boon, we treat them like a bone. 这段的分析不错，比较透捏，而且用词和语言都很到位，赞。但是觉得这段和上面有些脱节，像是迎合题目才刻意分成两片说，不如和上段的顺序倒一下，先说reformer没用，然后转到sandal有用比较自然。在说sandal的时候还要主意它与speaker/reformer的不同，特殊作用，也就是can be useful

As a result, nothing can match the scandals in terms of alerting our social states quo, 又绕回sandal了，as a result前面都是reformer/speaker怎么就nothing can match the scandals呢？influencing our social trend and providing our materials for conversation. Speaker and reformer may also call for public about pedophilia, but the effects can never compare the target of as much anger as curiosity of Michael Jackson's case. 下面一句插个例子有些生硬

Retrospectively, notorious as the most scandals are, ironically, they spring beneficial atmosphere in society. And maybe, the forming of scandals, in my opinion, is the natural enemy for the bad behavior of involving people in scandal, and the best alerting example for you and me.结尾点到了sandol形成就是对这些人的教训，也是起作用的地方，前面说sandol的时候貌似没看出来这个意思

语言很佩服的说，用词也很有水准。整篇来说：1，觉得读起来有些不顺畅，就是b1 b2 b3的顺序和衔接，有些脱节和混乱。2，B1说scandol的useful没很好的表现出这层意思，绕到别的地方的东西比较多。个别语法错误没给改，我基本不在人家文章改语法，不过比较少量，自己注意下 :p

龙非UID: 193190

185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
1丑闻总是能最大限度的吸引人的目光从而达到最大的宣传效果
2演说家和改革者却总是吸引不了人的注意,所以达不到宣传效果
3所以两者相比~丑闻的效果更能引起人们注意
看着提纲就觉得不妥，偏啦。。。题目关键是can be useful，你却去论证能吸引注意，建议重写，我再给你看。。。

boyjimUID: 125249

没给你改130可不是偷懒呀。是因为我自己那篇思路上都有问题，不敢给人瞎指挥
In the modern history of human, scandal, which is always something negative, ironically enveloped a mysterious and vivid air. There are times when most of us witness all kinds of scandals including sports, sphere of entertainment, and even politics and academia. But the worst joke in this seemingly ordered, but inside chaos society, is that the scandals have been more often put in the limelight than speakers' or any reformers' action and speech.

It is innate and unique feature of scandal that empowers itself the ability to influence society. Scandals, more often than not, are something unfolded by mass media, and endowed with mystery as well as vividness or even exaggerated romance. This controversial air never fail to draw the attention of the public, which arouse the question, why are we indulging in these stories so much? It is ipso facto. 好专业的词拉丁文都用上了-_-！ [以前在纽约时报看见的一个词汇~嘿嘿~以前老庄教过that's human nature现在觉得太多人用了] The news on the TV, the headlines on the newspapers and the column on the magazines, are invariably in want of seducing people's curiosity and the intrinsic impulse to purchase them, thus, they always employ abnormal and startling titles as well as extraordinary and dramatic stories to gain highlight, which result in the journalists' craving for original but scaring crusades, especially the private things about some prominent public figures. Hadn't the reporters dig out a myriad of fantastic eye-catching story about public people, our memory about them would have already vanished and perished. It is because of these scandals that we snicker the details, we talk about their influence and we reconsider the whole stories and the meaning.从hadn’t开始到这里都不大明白耶，赐教 [hadn't这里我用了一个跟过去事实相反的if的虚拟语气再倒装] As a consequence, when scandals are discovered and revealed, it give live lessens to us, alert other public figure simultaneously. Watergate made Nixon step down. Zip gate let Clinton shame. Enron destructed itself and Anderson and left eternal scar to the investor and public.看完了这段，有个疑问：题目提到的can be useful，以及focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could在哪里表现？前面大半截一直说说人们为虾米爱探究丑闻，以及媒体如何报道。到后面有个as a consequence然后说give live lessens to us不知道这算不算是can be useful捏？ [我就是说它对于社会对我们有好的教训咯~可能论证还不足] 而且这个live lessens 后几个例子也只是来表现一下这个live lessens对你说scandals useful的作用不大 [人家安然倒台了遍及到米国普遍人民百姓小股东的利益捏~安达信倒台让五大变成四大了捏] ，为虾米useful？你说到focus our attention的问题了，但注意下题目的重点在can be useful 和 in ways that on speaker or reformer could上面，这里又涉及到scandal和reformer/speaker的作用不同的问题，或者说sandals的特殊作用。觉得这段米有抓到重点上 [确实重点没有说得太清楚，有点带过的嫌疑]

Although转的和上面有些不连贯，前面都米有提到 [那应该换什么联结词呢？] speaker/reformer speakers or reformers emphasize their idea to public, but the drossy words they used always sound rigid and the content they maintained seldom possess any interest. Thus, even if their ideas sometimes are constructive, we usually take them for granted. Due to the unattractive appearance of their speeches or action, they don't have any funny story but morose argument, they always trap us in the forest of cliché devoid of any elf and fairy, even they are sometimes meaningful but we are less concerned about. Therefore, even though the speakers and reformers propagandize boon, we treat them like a bone. 这段的分析不错，比较透捏，而且用词和语言都很到位，赞。但是觉得这段和上面有些脱节，像是迎合题目才刻意分成两片说，不如和上段的顺序倒一下 [这个提议不错~] ，先说reformer没用，然后转到sandal有用比较自然。在说sandal的时候还要主意它与speaker/reformer的不同，特殊作用，也就是can be useful

As a result, nothing can match the scandals in terms of alerting our social states quo, 又绕回sandal了，as a result前面都是reformer/speaker怎么就nothing can match the scandals呢？influencing our social trend and providing our materials for conversation. Speaker and reformer may also call for public about pedophilia, but the effects can never compare the target of as much anger as curiosity of Michael Jackson's case. 下面一句插个例子有些生硬 [我就是想说，一个丑闻让我们对某个事务的认识可能会比某位政客说啥啥更加深入，]

Retrospectively, notorious as the most scandals are, ironically, they spring beneficial atmosphere in society. And maybe, the forming of scandals, in my opinion, is the natural enemy for the bad behavior of involving people in scandal, and the best alerting example for you and me.结尾点到了sandol形成就是对这些人的教训，也是起作用的地方，前面说sandol的时候貌似没看出来这个意思 [前面要是论证的好~这里需要临时抱佛脚么~嘿嘿，接受意见~丑闻的作用应该再多些有用的废话]

语言很佩服的说，用词也很有水准。整篇来说：1，觉得读起来有些不顺畅，就是b1 b2 b3的顺序和衔接，有些脱节和混乱。2，B1说scandol的useful没很好的表现出这层意思，绕到别的地方的东西比较多。个别语法错误没给改，我基本不在人家文章改语法，不过比较少量，自己注意下 [小弟语法一直都比较棘手~姐姐不知道有什么好方法呢~每次到检查都是红红绿绿的~]

apolloxpUID: 156355

看了你的提纲就发现你对原题第一句没回应

boyjimUID: 125249

最初由 龙非 发布
[B]185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could...

以下省略...... [/B]

龙哥 我是这么看得~ 丑闻和政客的演说的最大的优势就是他的宣传效果明显~坏事传千里么~正是他的宣传效果上面的长处~致使它对于社会的教育才能够深入才有lessen~这个就是最有useful的地方~咯 :D

boyjimUID: 125249

最初由 apolloxp 发布
[B]看了你的提纲就发现你对原题第一句没回应 [/B]

如果我八useful定义成为宣传效果的突出是不是就能回应呢？

apolloxpUID: 156355

如果我八useful定义成为宣传效果的突出是不是就能回应呢？
应该算是一种回应，8过，你的文章里貌似没提这回事

粗看了下，语言上还错
b1 b2 b3有逐渐缩水之势，感觉篇幅上平衡些比较好
另外，在b2看到一个although...but... :eek:

boyjimUID: 125249

好~我去把它连上！！！

龙非UID: 193190

恕我直言，你加上丑闻的好处是宣传效果突出，貌似回应了题目。
可惜，这样写得再好也没能做好insightful,没有真正的analysis the complexity of the issue。
如果丑闻的好处就是吸引人的注意力，那未免太shallow了，你自己也说了

致使它对于社会的教育才能够深入才有lessen~这个就是最有useful的地方

吸引注意力只是它的优势，利用它这个优势来解决一些问题才是它的用处，不要混淆了。
你可以做的更好。。。

hushenminUID: 189268

楼主最近写的很勤快啊，值得我好好学习的。
不过我也觉得这篇文章的提纲有点问题，我的提纲如下：
The speaker gives a threshold statement that scandals can catch peoples' attention, and then conlude that scandals are useful in any area. In my view, I foundmentally agree the threshold statement,but the speaker overlook an important qualification that the influence caused by scandals are usually bad. However, I think the conclusion is too extreme. Scandals can benefit people in some areas, but most peoples will be hurted by related scandals.
1 scandals always serve as a striking advertisement. However, audiance never regards scandals as good thing.
2 Since scandals can always catch people's eyes, many people in entertainment area take advantage of it
to let themselves to be the mass focuse.
3 However, in most areas besides entertainment, people always suffer the trouble caused by the scandals.

boyjimUID: 125249

最初由 龙非 发布恕我直言，你加上丑闻的好处是宣传效果突出，貌似回应了题目。
可惜，这样写得再好也没能做好insightful,没有真正的analysis the complexity of the issue。
如果丑闻的好处就是吸引人的注意力，那未免太shallow了，你自己也说了
引用:致使它对于社会的教育才能够深入才有lessen~这个就是最有useful的地方

吸引注意力只是它的优势，利用它这个优势来解决一些问题才是它的用处，不要混淆了。
你可以做的更好。。。[/B]

哦~~龙哥哥说得我大概明白了~~~~~解决一些问题。。。。
小弟想的是影响力大就是有用了。。没有再往深层次想啊！！
茅塞顿开阿~ :D