Issue30 同主题 disagree 不好写

ctxUID: 199330

Issue130 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
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In an increasingly complicated and rapid developing world, the problem of how to raise children become more concerned by people. Should we raise our children to better prepare them for a better society, as the speaker asserts? From my points of view, since whether the society our offspring live is a question determined by our children themselves, there is no need for us adults to specially prepare them by our values and ideas, and the process of socialization may have significant influence on but do not determine our children and the destiny of society.

To begin with, whether the future society is good or not and the extent of goodness is determined by our children who live in the society rather than the adults who precede their age. Let's consider the case of ourselves first. We always do not want our parents to determine what we will do when we grow up, and we will not be satisfied when others attempt to design our future lives and make us follow their decisions. What is important, as we harbored in our heart, is that we are independent individuals and our destiny and our future should be only decided and chosen by ourselves. The case is still true when it comes to our children and the society they live. They are independent individuals, too, and we as adults should also respect their rights to choose their own lives and determine their own society as we consider our parents should do to ourselves. We have no right and no need to design a society for them and claim that it is a better one, and it is our children's work to determine and build a society in accordance with their own values and ideas rather than ours.

In addition, regarding the reason mentioned above, it is not necessary for us to specially prepare our children to build a better society as we recognize now. When it comes to the problem of society, we always attempt to evaluate the society by our values and ideas about our current one. Since then, when trying to raise children to teach them how to bring about a BETTER society, we can hardly escaping from imposing our own values and ideas upon the problem that what the future society should be like. This is normal and can be easily understand, but it is not fair for our children. By doing so, their rights to determine the society in which they live are ignored.

Admittedly, though socialization of children may have important and sometimes great influence for our children today and thus may influent the destiny of society in the future, the process does not necessarily determine the destiny of our society. In the future, it is our children not we who compose of and build the society. No one can assure that what the socialization brings to our children today will remain in the same state tomorrow, especially in the case that we are living in a more and more open and highly changeable society. To conclude, the influence of how we socialize children today does not play the role of determination of the destiny of tomorrow society.

In sum, there is no need for us adults to raise our children by preparing them for how to bring about a better society, for the conception of better society is always associated with our own values, while the problem of whether our children's society is good or not is up to themselves not to us. Science then, how children are socialized today does not always determined the destiny of society.

我写的是disagree的，帮忙看一下吧！

ctxUID: 199330

郁闷，是不是写的太差了啊

dragondreamUID: 181943

多谢你的修改阿，我刚看见^_^

In an increasingly complicated and rapid developing world, the problem of how to raise children become more concerned by people. Should we raise our children to better似乎去掉更通顺 prepare them for a better society, as the speaker asserts? From my points of view, since whether the society our offspring live这一句不通顺啊 is a question determined by our children themselves, there is no need for us adults to specially prepare them by our values and ideas, and the process of socialization may have significant influence on but do not determine our children and the destiny of society.

To begin with, whether the future society is good or not and the extent of goodness is determined by our children who live in the society rather than the adults who precede their age. Let's consider the case of ourselves first. We always do not want our parents to determine what we will do when we grow up, and we will not be satisfied when others attempt to design our future lives and make us follow their decisions. What is important, as we harbored in our heart, is that we are independent individuals and our destiny and our future should be only decided and chosen by ourselves. The case is still true when it comes to our children and the society they live. They are independent individuals, too, and we as adults中式说法吧，直接用adults就行了 should also respect their rights to choose their own lives and determine their own society as we consider our parents should do to ourselves. We have no right and no need to design a society for them and claim that it is a better one, and it is our children's work to determine and build a society in accordance with their own values and ideas rather than ours.

In addition, regarding the reason mentioned above, it is not necessary for us to specially prepare our children to build a better society as we recognize now. When it comes to the problem of society, we always attempt to evaluate the society by our values and ideas about our current one. Since then, when trying to raise children to teach them how to bring about a BETTER society, we can hardly escaping from imposing our own values and ideas upon the problem that what the future society should be like. This is normal and can be easily understand, but it is not fair for our children. By doing so, their rights to determine the society in which they live are ignored. 这一段感觉和前一段末尾没什么两样阿，本来是前一段说未来社会的好坏由孩子们自己决定，这一段说因此没必要教他们。可是在前一段末尾似乎已经论述过这些了亚

Admittedly, though socialization of children may have important and sometimes great influence for our children today and thus may influent the destiny of society in the future, the process does not necessarily determine the destiny of our society. In the future, it is our children not we who compose of and build the society. No one can assure that what the socialization brings to our children today will remain in the same state tomorrow, especially in the case that we are living in a more and more open and highly changeable society. To conclude, the influence of how we socialize children today does not play the role of determination of the destiny of tomorrow society.

In sum, there is no need for us adults to raise our children by preparing them for how to bring about a better society, for the conception of better society is always associated with our own values, while the problem of whether our children's society is good or not is up to themselves not to us. Science then, how children are socialized today does not always determined the destiny of society.

结构蛮清晰的，语句都挺好的论证的思路是递进的吧，可是感觉二三两段的递进关系似乎论述的不太好，但我也说不出怎么改。水平有限，呵呵。
以上纯属个人意见，可以再探讨