Issue130 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！有提纲 给些意见吧

leezedUID: 195039

Issue130  让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     
------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
提纲：support
1.what's the conception of being socialized today. It includes many things.
2.We have many problems concerning the children's solialization.
3.To create a better future, we must make our children well-socialized.


When I was a little child, I was always told that I am a flower of the future of society and nation,which means I am one of the determinants of the future-building of society. But at that time, I don't understand its meaning clearly. Now, when it comes to a similar view above, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that society's destiny hinges on how children are society and it is still a problem for us that how to raise children who can better our society.

A children's socialization lies in the merits of mutual respect, sense of responsibility, cooperation to each other, sympathy to the week and poor, love, tolerance, and so forth. To witness these healthy socialization in action, we need look no further than the school playground, where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, assert themselves in a respectful manner, and where they also learn about the harmful results of bullying and other anti-social behavior. All these lessons help them to grow up to be a good citizens and effective social members, as well as a member of tolerance and respect of society.So the society composed of these mumbers is absolutely a harmonious one.

However, these healthy action of socialization are in crisis now. With the development of science and technology, children now are isolated in their homes, facing the screen of computer or television which is full of contents about entertainment, what is worse,it seems to have more and more violent and sex pictures in these media. After school many children no longer dash to playground, instead of which they are taken home directly by their parents. Children tend to have little chance of communication, not to mention developping all the healthy merits above. For the parents, they contribute more attention to the commitment of their own ambition. Their hope for children seems only lies in their good studying of lessons, taking little notice of children’s social behaviors. The parents are lost now in how to make their well-socialized. Is it a good phenomenon of society? Of course not. We don't expect our children to be a person who only has a dreary commitment of mean ambition or love of comfort, which might render the whole society hopeless.

Children is the future of our society. The movement to socialize the children, in some sense, is the movement to socialize our society in future. And the movement require the involvement of all the social members. What we are supposed to do is not only teach children what to do but also to do the things ourselves. We are the best example in front of them. One report reveals that a child whose parents is well-educated is usually a good-behavior student in school, and a children whose parents is rude and violent tends to be a wierd one.  

To conclude, how children are molded in their community decide how society goes in future. When it comes to how to make them well-socialized, it need our efforts, especially the efforts of parents to send children back to the community of their own. However, parents perform poorly in the job.

fish667UID: 199383

When I was a little child, I was always told that I am a flower of the future of society and nation,which means I am one of the determinants of the future-building of society. But at that time, I don't understand its meaning clearly. Now, when it comes to a similar view above, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that society's destiny hinges on how children are society and it is still a problem for us that how to raise children who can better our society.

A children's (没有A)socialization lies in the merits of mutual respect, sense of responsibility, cooperation to each other, sympathy to the week and poor, love, tolerance, and so forth. To witness these(this) healthy socialization in action, we need look no further than the school playground, where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, assert themselves in a respectful manner, and where they also learn about the harmful results of bullying and other anti-social behavior. All these lessons help them to grow up to be a good citizens (good citizens)and effective social members, as well as a member of tolerance and respect of society. So society composed of these mumbers(members) is absolutely a harmonious one.

However, these healthy action(actions) of socialization are in crisis now. With the development of science and technology, children now are isolated in their homes, facing the screen of computer or television which is full of contents about entertainment(恐怕没说清吧), what is worse, it seems to have more and more violent and sex pictures(scenes) in these media. After school many children no longer dash to playground, instead of which they are taken home directly by their parents. Children tend to have little chance of communication, not to mention developping (developing) all the healthy merits above. For the parents, they contribute more attention to the commitment of their own ambition. Their hope for children seems only lies in their good studying of lessons, taking little notice of children’s social behaviors. The parents are lost now in how to make their well-socialized. Is it a good phenomenon of society? Of course not. We don't expect our children to be a person who only has a dreary commitment of mean ambition or love of comfort, which might render the whole society hopeless.

Children is (are) the future of our society. The movement(progress?) to socialize the children, in some sense, is the movement to socialize our society in future. And the movement require(requires) the involvement of all the social members. What we are supposed to do is not only teach children what to do but also to do the things ourselves(没写清吧!你是想说身体力行是吧?). We are the best example in front of them. One report reveals that a child whose parents is well-educated is usually a good-behavior student in school, and a children whose parents is rude and violent tends to be a wierd (weird)one.

To conclude, how children are molded in their community decide how society goes in future. When it comes to how to make them well-socialized, it need (needs)our efforts, especially the efforts of parents to send children back to the community of their own. However, parents perform poorly in the job.(怎么感觉没写完?)

fish667UID: 199383

第一次改别人的作文,呵呵

感觉小错有不少,都是很低级的不该犯的

leezedUID: 195039

谢谢鱼667

leezedUID: 195039

When I was a little child, I was always told that I am a flower of the future of society and nation,which means I am one of the determinants of the future-building of society. But at that time, I don't understand its meaning clearly. Now, when it comes to a similar view above, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that society's destiny hinges on how children are society and it is still a problem for us that how to raise children who can better our society.

Children's socialization lies in the merits of mutual respect, sense of responsibility, cooperation to each other, sympathy to the week and poor, love, tolerance, and so forth. To witness healthy socialization in action, we need look no further than the school playground, where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, assert themselves in a respectful manner, and where they also learn about the harmful results of bullying and other anti-social behavior. All these lessons help them to grow up to be good citizens and effective social members, as well as a member of tolerance and respect of society.So the society composed of these mumbers is absolutely a harmonious one.

However, these healthy actions of socialization are in crisis now. With the development of science and technology, children now are isolated in their homes, facing the screen of computer to chate with one they don’t know or television full of contents about entertainment, what is worse,it seems to have more and more violent and sex scenes in these media. After school many children no longer dash to playground, instead of which they are taken home directly by their parents. Children tend to have little chance of communication, not to mention developing all the healthy merits above. For the parents, they contribute more attention to the commitment of their own ambition. Their hope for children seems only lies in their good studying of lessons, taking little notice of children’s social behaviors. The parents are lost now in how to make their children well-socialized. Is it a good phenomenon of society? Of course not. We don't expect our children to be a person who only has a dreary commitment of mean ambition or love of comfort, which might render the whole society hopeless.

Children are the future of our society. The process to socialize the children, in some sense, is the process to socialize our society in future. And the movement require the involvement of all the social members. What we are supposed to do is not only teach children what to do but also to do the things ourselves. We are the best example in front of them. One report reveals that a child whose parents is well-educated is usually a good-behavior student in school, and a children whose parents is rude and violent tends to be a weird one.  

To conclude, how children are molded in their community decide how society goes in future. When it comes to how to make them well-socialized, it need our efforts, especially the efforts of parents to send children back to the community of their own.

改过了，感觉写得不够有利，例子也很贫乏。

katie-leeUID: 178135

我觉得和我有一样的毛病
1 说空话 没有例子 中国学生的通病
2 逻辑混乱 跳来跳去的
3 动词用的不够灵活
这是我GRE5。5 的同学给我的评价 似乎也很适合你