issue93 argument 187 最后一次PP3模考,封笔了!!打个分,考完回报大家,错字都没有改

xiongyicnUID: 192745

93. "The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction.
Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own
actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their
own making."


"Individual responsibility" is a hot expression in the modern world, which calls for rigid regulations and rules. The society hold individuals accountable for their own actions, which promise the orderly, stable and harmony situations and surroundings. Nevertheless, someone argue that people's behavior is largely determined by the forces not of their own making, and accordingly,  the concept of individual responsibility is just a fiction. As far as I am concerned, I disagree with this assertion, I contend that the people's behavior is determined by the compound effects of forces and their own personalities.

To begin with, it should be admitted that the external forces influence the individual behavior to some extent. From the moment of one's birth, his behavior would be influenced more or less by the forces inevitably. With an infant open its eyes, the forces from family and parents would influence it. A saying read: " Education commence from the knees of parents". The values and minds of parents would be imparted to the children intentionally or unintentionally in the family surroundings. Consequently, the behavior of the children would be influenced and shaped to some extent. Then, when the children go to school for formal education, the doctrines from the teachers and instructors would give some impacts to the children and their behaviors can be influenced in this stage. When the children grow up and step in the society, the social surrounding and forces, such as the colleagues, the regulations of companies and even the laws,  would also influence their behaviors. In a word, a person cannot decide themselves where or when he want to birth and what kind of situations he want to live. And their behaviors are influenced by the unchangeable external forces.

Nevertheless, is it necessarily that the people's behaviors have only something to do with the forces and have little to do with their own making? 接到电话3分钟,思路中断片刻Our empirical examples could give the answer to the question. My neighbour home, a twin of sisters, are fostered and grow up in the entirely same sorroundings. The parents teach them the same values and ideas. The parents send them to the same school and also the same class, with the same teahcers and classmates. But some distinctiveness appears between them. One of them tends to like adademical activities while the other likes to attend social and public occations. Moreover, they make their distinctive decisions respectively in the face of the same problems. Why these happen, you may wonder? The personality, which are determined largely by the genes and some uncontrolled factors,  holds accountable during the course. Thus, their behavior is determined by compound effects of the external forces and of their own making.

Then, the concept of "individual reponsibility" is become more and more complex based on that the behaviors are determined by several factors. In this sense, whether the concept of "individual responsbility" is a fiction or not does not matter, what matters is the necessity of the concept of "individual responsbility" in the modern world. The social stability are depending on this concept due to "holding individual accountable for people's own actions" would lead to some restriction for people's behaviors, which promise the harmony existence of masses of people.

In sum, the concept of people's behavior is very complex idea and cannot simply relate to the external forces or their own making hastily. But the concept of "individual responsibility" is indispensable for the social stability and harmony.

以下是argument,中间上了趟厕所,喝了口水

187.The following appeared as part of an article in a health magazine.

"A new discovery warrants a drastic change in the diets of people living
in the United States. Two scientists have recently suggested that omega -3
fatty acids (found in some fish and fish oils) play a key role in mental
health. Our ancestors, who ate less saturated fat and more polyunsaturated
fat, including omega -3 fatty acids, were much less likely to suffer from
depression than we are today. Moreover, modern societies-such as those in
Japan and Taiwan-that consume large quantities of fish report depression
rates lower than that in the United States. Given this link between omega
-3 fatty acids and depression, it is important for all people in the
United States to increase their consumption of fish in order to prevent
depression."

The recommendation that all people in the United States to increase their consumption of fish for preventing depression seems at first glance to be sound and obvious. After all, this argument appears as part of an article in a health magazine, and is base on suggestions from scientists and some relevant analysis. Nevertheless, the recommendation may mask the actual cause for the depression in US, and even mislead the people to great extent.

To begin with, let us examine the suggestions from the two scientists. What is the exact information about the two scientists? Maybe they are not so authoritative in this field. Even it is possible that they are scientists in the other fields. Moreover, what is the voice of other scientists in the healthy and medical fields? The number of two scientists is too small for a convincing suggestions.

Furthermore, what is the cause that our ancestors were much less likely to suffer from depression than we are today? The argument provide some too vague information about this. Is it necessarily that the diet habits play the essential role about this? Maybe the life style of ancestors are more healthy than that of us today, which is the essential factor for less deprssion. Likewise, the food of less satruated fat and more polyunsaturated also include some other elements, which may be the actual factor for the less depression. Also, it is equally possible that the modern people take so great pressures, from the competition in the career fields, that they suffer from depression.

In addition, the fact that modern societies that consume large quantities of fish report depression rates lower than that in US cannot lend strong support to the recommendation. It is highly possible that the people in Japan and Taiwan participate in some exercises more frequently, or they are always pursuing the healthy life style. On the other hand, the Americans tend to live the ill life style and take less exercises. Another explanation is that the people in Japan and Taiwan are naturally born with more healthy mental state. Even the mental state has something to do with the culture. In fact, the people in Japan and Taiwan might have some cultural traditions and rituals that can dispel the mental depression.   

Last but not least, let us consider the expression - "all the people in the United States" in the last sentence of the argument. All the people include the younger, the older, men, women. What about those who have no depression, such as the innocent children? What about those who dislike eating fish or eating is the taboo in their beliefs? The arguer generalizes the conclustion too hastily.

In sum, 写这里时,突然同学找,时间还剩下5分钟,应该能写个比较充足的结尾,不过10多分钟后才回来,思路完全中断,后面的结尾大家可以不看,随便写的this argument merely scratches the surface of what should be analysed and presented for the recommendation. Some further investigation and evidence are needed before the recommendation comes.

PS: 周一就考了,寒假里随便写过几篇,不是太投入.从2月21号到现在,几乎全天准备,就这个水平了,4分就可以接受,如果能更高一点,当然更好.
今早的确感到事情很多很急,心情有些浮,,然后发贴,呵呵,需要大家的安慰.看到好对朋友真诚的回复,的确很感动.然后刚刚戴着耳机听着从GTER上下的键盘声,完成了一个模考(虽然有人打扰),不过现在心情倒是平和多了,就像上次一个朋友说,烦的时候浮躁的时候让自己模考两篇作文,什么都静下来了.的确!
希望自己周一好运.剩下这两天,主要是研究机经和题库了.不写了!封笔!

ijwtbkUID: 172334

基本如你所愿，可能>4.5
比我强，那个双胞胎德例子举的不错
BLESS!

xiongyicnUID: 192745

谢谢.希望考试发挥正常!

edisonZUID: 198680

You are much better than me..Bless you!
I will take aw in the Thursday in Shanghai.