issue19 限时

huijuan1210UID: 200139

Issue19  让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：40分1秒     578 words
从2005年2月18日20时27分到2005年2月18日21时40分
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If a society is to thrive, it must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens.
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Which one should have higher priority, overall success of society or the well-being of its individual citizens? From my point of view, I generally agree with the speaker that the overall success of society should come first. Moreover, both of two factors to society's prosperity actually are not contrary to each other, but inextricable.

To begin with, the society should have a broad and comprehensive overview to establish justifiable social systems, such as diploma policy, system of law, economical policy, and the like, to ensure its overall success in order to achieve ultimate prosperity. It is impossible to a society to satisfy its every individual citizen. There will surely be some citizens suffering from its overall success. For example, in so-called "richest city"--New York, with its policy and operation system ensuring its overall success in the world, there are huge number of crime and poverty. There are people gaining from the overall success of society, and then there will be people suffering. Nothing is perfect in this world. Therefore, a society must dare and resolute to make its decision to foremost cater its overall success rather than to fulfill the requirements of every individual citizen.  Take China's planned population for instance. There are 14 billion of people, which almost is one forth of the total amount of human beings in the world, living in China, the world 2nd largest country, while the amount of population are still increasing rapidly. To assure its overall success of society, China takes strict rules and laws to control the increment of its population to ensure the ability of government to take care of its people. While those regulations are considered as serious transgression of human rights by western countries, and also deeply hurt the populace who insist to have extra children, the policy of planned population indeed benefits the society as a whole, otherwise, it is impossible to develop the country fast with a huge population. Indeed, planned population is able to bring more available public resource for smaller population, such as education opportunity. In short, a society should generate a reasonable and methodical system to ensure its overall success rather than the well-being of its individual members.

However, it is far from the truth that the overall success and the well-being of civilians can be divisible. In contrast, the well-being of ordinary people reassures the overall success of society. Take China's planned population for example again. What if its citizens cannot understand the reason and the importance of the policy, and resist it blindly and violently? The consequence can be disastrous. Indeed, individual citizens are the foundation of the society, thus the prosperity of society depends on the well-being of individuals significantly. Engineers provide the society technological products; teachers help the society to educate people from generation to generation; businessmen bring the society innumerable jobs; politicians ensure a society leadership and cooperation in international level. Simply imagine, how a society can achieve its success with a group of illiteracies? In short, the well-being of citizens impels a society to thrive.

In final analysis, a society should primarily found its own system to ensure overall success, such as whether it should be capitalism or communism, whether it should be opponent or proponent to its neighbor country, whether it should put more funding on education or military. However, to achieve eventual prosperity, a society can never ignore its citizens, who are the very foundation of the society.

AutoseaUID: 192045

第二段的计划生育的例子比较好，可是表达不太清楚，还有一些常识错误，比如中国是14亿人不是140亿等。
第三段似乎没有强调well-being of individual citizens，有点digress.
结尾的三个whether很有修辞效果，不过要能与全文紧密相符就更好了。

不知道你平常English用的多还是中文用的多，我觉得写作文之前，最好先用中文把逻辑想清楚，然后再下笔，这样文章会更清晰。

huijuan1210UID: 200139

非常感谢你的批评~
那个~~~很惭愧的~每次看到gter的人把issue分析得那么深入，我就汗颜~~
你的感觉很敏锐，我每次写都是直接想英文的，所以可能看起来有些混乱。sigh~~功底不够啊！！
这道题我看到的时候，就不是很清楚那个well-bing的范畴，所以就尽量回避了。谢谢你的指出，这就下去想想。
再次感谢~~

huijuan1210UID: 200139

However, it is far from the truth that the overall success and the well-being of civilians can be divisible. In contrast, the well-being of ordinary people reassures the overall success of society. Well-being citizens are well-educated, having national cohesion, moral, innovative, open-minded, regarding oneself first as a member of society and then oneself. Take China's planned population for example again. What if its citizens cannot understand the reason and the importance of the policy, and resist it blindly and violently? Chinese government and even the world should appreciate the effort what those supportive populace have done, otherwise, the consequence could be disastrous. On the other hand, individual citizens are the foundation of the society. Every single person is part and parcel of society. Engineers provide the society technological products; teachers help the society to educate people from generation to generation; businessmen bring the society innumerable jobs and thus ensure one's basic living; politicians promise a society effective leadership and cooperation in international level. Simply imagine, how a society can achieve its success with a group of illiteracies? In short, the well-being of citizens impels a society to develop.