后天要考了，最后帮忙拍拍好吗？……

divinemagicUID: 195937

Issue 186
Practicality is now our great idol, which all powers and talents must serve. Anything that is not obviously practical has little value in today's world.

(557 words)

Is practical our great idol--one that all powers and talents must serve, and anything seemingly impractical has hard any value in today's world? As far as I am concern, I agree insofar as practicality should be put up as one of the most important considerations when making decisions, however, practicism should not dominate our life, because seemingly impractical work sometimes indeed contribute significantly to the development of either individual or the whole society.

In the realms of politics, it is common sense that practicality plays crucial role for politicians to making decisions and judgment, that is, more often they are driven by short term interest in earning support of public, and being elected and reelected. However, if all the politician are acting in this way, there would be no sense of mission and obligation of them to pursuit for increasing people's benefit in the long term, or contribute to the country with developing sight. If this is the case, no governors would be willing to engaging in environmental protection, and generally fund in the development of arts; AIDS would be a permanent threaten to people and never been able to be solved, just because their seeming impractical in the short run. Consider the American founders, Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King. Had these people concerned themselves with short-term practical needs rather than their notions of an ideal society, U.S and India might still be the colonies of British, and African Americans would still be relegated to the backs of buses. For this matter, being seeming impractical does not equal to impractical, and sometimes it is these seemingly impractical things that might bring significant change and improve our life and society. Therefore, in politics realms, serving all our power and talents in the things, which might be practical in our consideration would probably be terrible mistakes and even being obstacle in the development of the whole society.

In the realms of sciences, I concede that the power and talents should be focus on solving the urgent problems--that is, the most practical things today, such as the medical studies; however, in science realms it is even more difficult to categorize things into practical and impractical. For example, without the "impractical" study of seeking for a way to let human beings be able to fly freely in the sky, there would be no aircrafts or spaceships, also, impractical as astronomy and genetics studies is, they might benefit human beings in eliminate the pain of illness, and make a survival when the Earth no longer fit for human beings to live. For this matter, it is hard to judge things that whether is practical or not, especially considering the possibly significant contribution of the seemingly impractical things might make in the future, since most scientific studies are exploring the unknown territory which involve large extent of uncertainty. In this science realms, albeit practical things should be focused on, in which great effort should lies, it would be insensible if people neglect the seemingly impractical studies today, which might be of incomparable values in the future.

Retrospectively, as far as I am concern, practical should be put enough emphasis, however, things that are not obviously practical today are not necessarily of no value tomorrow. For this point, practicality should not be the exclusive standard of us to make decisions and judgment.


Argument 145
A new study coolected data that shows that people who snores are more likely to gain weight than are people who donot snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathin gfrequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition calledsleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person--often so briefly that the wakin ggoes unnoticed--and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therfore, should try to ear less than the average person to exercise more.

466 words

The speaker make recommends that people who snore should eat less than the average person and exercise more. To support the recommendation, the speaker cites the result of a study, indicating people who snores are more likely to gain weight. Also, the speaker argues that it is snore that affects the quality of sleep, and make people tired and do less exercise. However, I find the study gives little support to the speaker's recommendation, and the argument is unpersuasive in several respects.

First of all, I doubt that whether the study provide liable evidence to demonstrate the cause-and-effect relationship between snore and gain weight, which is the precondition of the speaker's recommendation. I am not informed how the study is conducted, whether it is possible that the people involved in the study cannot be representative. Even if it find out that there is relationship between weight and snore, it is hard to say which one cause the other, that is, it is entirely possible that situation might reverse: The excessive weight cause people to snore when they are sleep.

Secondly, there is no evidence that snore will affect the quality of sleep, as the speaker assumes. Common sense cannot be convincing evidence to justify there would be frequent breathing stop because of snore. Also, even it does cause slight stop of breath, it is possible that it would not cause people fail to sleep well, since it is always unnoticed.  In addition, even if it deduces the quality of sleep, the speaker neglects the possibility that people might sleep longer to compensate the poor sleep quality. For this matter, the argument that snore will cause people tired during the day is not well established.

Thirdly, being tired in the day, even if caused by snore, would not be necessary to cause people exercise less. After all, no evidence can demonstrate this point. Perhaps people who snore still be interested in sports and would do no less exercise. Also, many famous sportsperson snore in the night as well.

Finally, even if snore would cause people reluctant to exercise, the conclusion that people should eat less and exercise more might be too hasty a conclusion. Considering people already has poor sleep quality and so tired during the day, it is possible that controlling diet and be forced to exercise more would does greater harm to people's health than the negative effect of excessive weight can have.

In sum, the argument of the speaker is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster the argument, the speaker should provide more information to convince me that merely snore will make people gain weight, and gaining weight would harm people's health seriously. Also, the speaker should justify that eating less and exercising more is indeed a good way to eliminate the negative effect.

后天要考了， 这是模考写的两篇东西， 能否麻烦大侠们帮忙看看啊？ 这样的文章大概有多少分？
感谢不尽！！

3月21号上财

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

我看了你的文章关提一点小小的意见,建议你不要not obviously practical等同于impractical
2, pursuit 是名词. 你有一些语法错误,建议多检查一下别人才比较愿意改.句子结构也有错.多看看吧,我自己也要考了,就不指出了,你自己找会印象比较深刻吧.

divinemagicUID: 195937

谢谢楼上！：）