互拍argument呀，[分享] 共同进步呀

haze1894UID: 185775

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a newsletter on health issues.
“ For the past decade, most health experts have advised teenagers to avoid eating greasy foods in order to prevent acne and related skin conditions, but the number of teenagers who sought medical help for these skin problems has actually risen over the same period. In a recent study, teenagers who avoided greasy foods for a month reported approximately as many outbreaks of acne and related skin conditions as did those who ate an average of two servings of greasy food per day. Such data indicate that eating greasy foods is unlikely to be a cause of acne and related skin conditions. Therefore, health experts should no longer recommend that people avoid such foods.

In this memo, the editor points that health experts should no longer recommend that people avoid greasy foods, which is based on a recent study showing that eating greasy foods is unlikely to be a cause of acne and related skin conditions. It seems reasonable at the first glance, however, as long as u take a careful examination, u will discover that there is some unsubstantiate flaws in his argument and I will explain them in the coming paragraphs.

To begin with, the editor indicates that for the past decade, the number of teenagers who sought medical help for acne and related skin conditions has risen, although most health experts have advised teenagers to avoid eating greasy foods in order to prevent those problems. However, there is no evidence to show that health eating greasy food is responsible for the rising number of those kinds of patients. It is entirely possible that these patients cannot resist to the temptation of greasy food and they don’t change eating habit at all although experts have given them advice. It might be also some other factors that give rise to those problems such as weather condition, allergy and so forth.

To further strengthen his argument, he also cites some data from a recent study. That is teenagers who avoided greasy foods for a month reported approximately as many outbreaks of acne and related skin conditions as did those who ate an average of two servings of greasy food per day. The first thing to doubt is these data. According to the memo, the editor doesn’t point out the authority and authenticity of these data including who collect them, how they were computed and etc. secondly, only one month test is not long enough to prove the editor’s assumption that eating greasy food is unlikely to be a cause of acne and related skin conditions. It is likely that the result will come out in the next few months.  

In brief, we cannot draw a haste conclusion that experts should no longer recommend people to avoid greasy food. To convince us, he should provide us more detail information and a long time test for patients. Moreover, he must cite sufficient proof to convince us that greasy food has nothing to do with acne and related skin conditions.

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

先占了

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

In this memo, the editor points that health experts should no longer recommend that people avoid greasy foods, which is based on a recent study showing that eating greasy foods is unlikely to be a cause of acne and related skin conditions. It seems reasonable at the first glance, however, as long as u take a careful examination, u will discover that there is some unsubstantiate？ flaws in his argument and I will explain them in the coming paragraphs.

To begin with, the editor indicates that for the past decade, the number of teenagers who sought medical help for acne and related skin conditions has risen, although most health experts have advised teenagers to avoid eating greasy foods in order to prevent those problems. However, there is no evidence to show that health eating greasy food is responsible for the rising number of those kinds of patients.应该说没有证据说人们采纳了医生的建议，比较连贯 It is entirely possible that these patients cannot resist to the temptation of greasy food and they don’t change eating habit at all although experts have given them advice. It might be also some other factors that give rise to those problems such as weather condition, allergy and so forth.

To further strengthen his argument, he also cites some data from a recent study. That is teenagers who avoided greasy foods for a month reported approximately as many outbreaks of acne and related skin conditions as did those who ate an average of two servings of greasy food per day. The first thing to doubt is these data. According to the memo, the editor doesn’t point out the authority and authenticity of these data including who collect them, how they were computed and etc. secondly, only one month test is not long enough to prove the editor’s assumption that eating greasy food is unlikely to be a cause of acne and related skin conditions. It is likely that the result will come out in the next few months.

In brief, we cannot draw a haste conclusion that experts should no longer recommend people to avoid greasy food. To convince us, he should provide us more detail information and a long time test for patients. Moreover, he must cite sufficient proof to
写的不错，不过还有一个重要的错误，小孩和所有人是不同的

imjasonUID: 176604

粗看了一下，感觉好象短了点，展开的不够。
另外，要注意发帖格式了