[必读]Issue 41 强人进,求砖,有砖必应

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

Issue41 ------题目------
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
------正文------
In today's high-tech world, it is needless to say science has its most important and most objective status in people's heart. When someone is to do something, he or she is encouraged to refer to the science tools and most probable that he or she is to successful through this way. While such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits also are existing to play a role in society by satisfying human needs. However, the way the nonmainstream areas are always aiming to bewitch people, and then they seem so wonderful and supernatural. The mentally comfort function, in the most situation, could be well replaced by our science ways.

First, it is true that mainstream science aims a lot at the research of the objectivity of our world, from the stars in the sky to the mineral resources deep in the earth and from the mental and emotional world of human brain and the daily behaviors of us.
Science views much the objective explanations of the phenomena in the world, and truly speaking, it is very hard. Just for example, every sentence of the science texts we use in the university or college can be related to a significant experiment in the history. While, there are still to much to explain, so the nonmainstream areas could exist to use their own ways to explain these to the society. Just, think about the situation thousands years ago, people commonly do not know the positions of sun and moon, and many tried to illustrate them to people. Time has proved them are wrong. So it is obvious that nonmainstream's status is based on the relatively low development of science but not their own theory.

Admittedly, nonmainstream areas do really work in some situation sometimes. For example, in the history, kings always relied on the help of god to stabilize their kingdom and to ensure a happy life of his people. Usually, in that times, gods are undoubted and what the gods say and suggest should be brought into effect without suspicious. Because science then did not develop so much and the nonmainstream areas actually devoted to the stabilization of the nations and felicity of the whole people. Moreover, people need some believes in their everyday life to give them some mental supports and the nonmainstream really do that sometimes, however the ways they use do not always non-evil.

Finally, the most important to remember is some negative impacts of the nonmainstream areas.  During the history of human species, there are always some evil organizations which use these nonmainstream areas to play against the government then, sacrificing the lives of innocent persons. To tell the truth, one do need his or her own belief but they should make right decisions about their believes. Evil persons always intentionally utilize the ignorance of such innocent believers. They are encouraged by someone to suicide for a happier life and a escape from the real world and to gain a better in the coming life, and those evil leaders use those lives to gain their own political destination, which is in fact very ugly.

So, in sum, those nonmainstream areas do work sometimes but the negative impacts they bring are much worse when compared to the positive ones. We should rely more on scientific ways to solve our problems rather than referring to nonmainstream areas. I think people could lead a better life with more believes in sciences.

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

怎么没有人给点意见啊

boyjimUID: 125249

注意发贴格式~

arksUID: 177382

我不是强人。

看了一下，总体感觉不错，有两个问题似乎应特别注意一下。一是语言衔接的地方要注意。我看完后觉得你有的地方明显是背的准备好的句子，所以这些单句就比较流畅。可是自己写的句子就生硬一些，而且有的地方为了追求句式的复杂，驾御的不是很成功，CHIGLISH的感觉很重。总的看来全文的语言水平摆动很厉害，用的成句和自己写的句子差别比较大，中间衔接的又不够自然。这样容易露怯。
另一点是其中有段谈到GOD，我觉得不要用这个词来举例。GOD在西方并不被简单的看作一个领域，与信仰有联系。我个人认为应该回避。你举这个例子似乎是在由中国的帝王得到的（我个人认为），可是我们文化中的“神”与西方文化中的“神”概念不同，地位也不同。

个人看法，可能有些偏激。希望以后互批。

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

很真心的帮助
至于那种指出什么发贴格式有问题而不给出什么实质性意见的人
我只能无奈地挥挥中指bs他

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

我发现只有自己的文章地理位置比较优越才有更多人帮你改
所以我觉得每天都来顶自己的文章
嘿嘿
不怕你们bs我
还有几天就作文了考试了
只能ws一点了
斑竹不要打我啊

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 goodgoodstudy 发布
[B]我发现只有自己的文章地理位置比较优越才有更多人帮你改
所以我觉得每天都来顶自己的文章
嘿嘿
不怕你们bs我
还有几天就作文了考试了
只能ws一点了
斑竹不要打我啊 [/B]

不是地理位置优越,而是只有你帮别人改,别人才会帮你改,这里不是义务性的.提醒你注意发贴格式也是为了更多的人会帮你改.怎么能说垃圾意见呢?请阁下注意用词.

大概看了一下,意见和上面的一致,中国话味道太重,比如开头In today's high-tech world, it is needless to say science has its most important and most objective status in people's heart. 你想表达的意思是不需要谈科学的重要性和公正性.但是外国人一般不是这样表达的,应该是nobody can deny the significance and objective status of science in people's heart.

查泰莱夫人UID: 202520

我感觉是有很多语言不甚标准的地方。
最后四段：there are always some evil organizations which use these nonmainstream areas to play against the government then，中的play against是有问题的。
第一段Usually, in that times, gods are undoubted and what the gods say and suggest should be brought into effect without suspicious. Because science then did not develop so much and the nonmainstream areas actually devoted to the stabilization of the nations and felicity of the whole people中的suspicious不对，改为名词。because前用逗号。
第二段：Time has proved them are wrong.完全病句。
建议写完用word先查一遍。

jorgeUID: 108878

寄托论坛是一个互动的平台。 在默默为广大寄托朋友提供平台的同时，也希望各位寄托朋友能遵守有关寄托的规则。

对于作文的发贴格式，是有那么个规定在的，楼主可以看一下置顶的帖子。 目的是为了方便以后各位其他寄托朋友的搜索方便。意志为大家提供更方便的服务。

希望下次楼主注意，谢谢。

删除了有关不妥的言语，请各位谅解。

goodgoodstudyUID: 201753

我很乐意这样的善意劝告