Issue138 同主题，感觉[color=#ff0012]第三段有问题，大家[color=#ff00

boancquUID: 165060

Issue138  同主题写作，感觉第三段有问题，大家发泄的机会来了！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：39分24秒     475 words
从2005年2月25日12时58分到2005年2月25日13时37分
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------
In the ceaseless history of human beings, there are numerous great discoveries and progresses, which we still appreciate now. A question often puzzle us is that the impact of mistakes on these discoveries and progresses. Is only through mistakes can there be discovery and prepress?  In my opinion, the answer is definitely not.  
  
Admittedly, as a proverb says mistake is the mother of success, mistakes play a crucial role in the course of discovery and progress. No scientist can claim that there would be no mistake in his or her efforts toward achievements. Take Edison, a great American inventor, as an example. During the course of his intention-bulb, he had tried more than two thousand kinds of materials, in other words, made mistake for more than two thousands of times. Fortunately, he succeeded at last.  Through mistakes, we can find out the fallacies and weakness of our methods, and then revise them or even drop the effort accordingly. Through mistakes, we can also find other valuable knowledge, ideas as well as methods which will helpful in our new try.

However, is any discovery or prepress are based on mistakes? Maybe most people, nine out of ten, would not agree with this proposition. We can reason out a very absurd conclusion from the proposition: no matter how careful our plan is, and how reasonable our method is, there are inevitably mistakes in the course of discovery or progress, even a very simple discovery or a trivial progress. More ridiculously, the proposition tells us that, if there is no giving up, any effort will inevitably ends with success. Actually, when doing research, giving up is needed if the hope of success is small.

Actually, there are many ways to avoid mistakes. In the first place, there are many principles and rules that will make our efforts in the right way.  In addition, there are a myriad of theories which have been proved right can guide our efforts. These theories are based on the industrious work of generations. Last but not least, we can also try to avoid mistakes through corporation and negotiation. People from distinct areas may have different perspectives on the problem to solve. Based on cooperation and negotiation, the plan can be more reasonable and the chance to make a mistake can be lowered or evicted.

To sum up, although mistakes play a paramount role in the process of discovery or progress, it is evitable that mistakes are not the "only" to success. In such a rapid changing information society, based on the knowledge heritage of our ancestors, through cooperation, coordination as well as negotiation, mistakes are avoidable in the course to a discovery or progress. Also, we should not neglect that careful and well-connected plan by ourselves is a good way of avoiding mistakes.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue138 同主题写作，感觉第三段有问题，大家发泄的机会来了！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：39分24秒 475 words
从2005年2月25日12时58分到2005年2月25日13时37分
------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------
In the ceaseless history of human beings, there are numerous great discoveries and progresses, which we still appreciate now. A question often puzzle us is that the impact of mistakes on these discoveries and progresses. Is only through mistakes can there be discovery and prepress?   【病句】In my opinion, the answer is definitely not.   【观点还不够明确】

Admittedly, as a proverb says mistake is the mother of success,   【失败是成功之母，这里有偷换概念的嫌疑，最好你把错误和失败之间做好联系】mistakes play a crucial role in the course of discovery and progress. No scientist can claim that there would be no mistake in his or her efforts toward achievements.   【没有交代清楚reason就匆匆的给出例子了】Take Edison, a great American inventor, as an example. During the course of his intention-bulb, he had tried more than two thousand kinds of materials, in other words, made mistake for more than two thousands of times. Fortunately, he succeeded at last.   【为什么所有人都用这个例子呢？】Through mistakes, we can find out the fallacies and weakness of our methods, and then revise them or even drop   【drop了又怎么能成功呢？换一种新的方法？表述不清】the effort accordingly. Through mistakes, we can also find other valuable knowledge, ideas as well as methods which will helpful in our new try.  【论述不够清晰】

However, is any discovery or prepress are based on mistakes?   【病句】Maybe most people, nine out of ten,   【感觉你有些句子跟boyjim同学很类似，呵呵，这是什么模板啊】would not agree with this proposition. We can reason out a very absurd conclusion from the proposition: no matter how careful our plan is, and how reasonable our method is, there are inevitably mistakes in the course of discovery or progress, even a very simple discovery or a trivial progress.   【我觉得这个结论还算是合理的，怎么能说是absurd呢？】More ridiculously, the proposition tells us that, if there is no giving up, any effort will inevitably ends with success. Actually, when doing research, giving up is needed if the hope of success is small.  【不懂你这两句的意思。而且，总的来说，不清楚你这段是要支持还是反对题目】

Actually, there are many ways to avoid mistakes.   【这就有点远了，按照你的观点，这里应该是要论证有其他的方法可以达到成功，反对only的，但是你把论点立为可以避免mistake就有偏差了】In the first place, there are many principles and rules that will make our efforts in the right way. In addition, there are a myriad of theories which have been proved right can guide our efforts. These theories are based on the industrious work of generations. Last but not least, we can also try to avoid mistakes through corporation and negotiation. People from distinct areas may have different perspectives on the problem to solve. Based on cooperation and negotiation, the plan can be more reasonable and the chance to make a mistake can be lowered or evicted.  【这段的作用是什么，反对mistake带来成功吗？观点不是很明确】

To sum up, although mistakes play a paramount role in the process of discovery or progress, it is evitable that mistakes are not the "only" to success. In such a rapid changing information society, based on the knowledge heritage of our ancestors, through cooperation, coordination as well as negotiation, mistakes are avoidable in the course to a discovery or progress. Also, we should not neglect that careful and well-connected plan by ourselves is a good way of avoiding mistakes.

  【觉得你的问题在于论证方面，自己的观点没有立好，reason方面解释的不够，例子只有一个Edison的。加油！】  

鬼谷子UID: 159645

把链接发到同主题里面

boancquUID: 165060

谢谢鬼兄

鬼谷子UID: 159645

最初由 鬼谷子 发布
[B]把链接发到同主题里面 [/B]

还没发到里面啊

boancquUID: 165060

------题目------
Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------正文------
In the ceaseless history of human beings, there are numerous great discoveries and progresses, which we still appreciate now. A question often puzzle us is that the impact of mistakes on these discoveries and progresses. Only through mistakes can there be discovery and prepress? 【病句】 对了吧？ In my opinion, the answer is definitely not. 【观点还不够明确】我的意思是反对，应该再补一句

Admittedly, as a proverb says mistake is the mother of success, 【失败是成功之母，这里有偷换概念的嫌疑，最好你把错误和失败之间做好联系】用了就知道不行，但是不用又觉得可惜，唉 mistakes play a crucial role in the course of discovery and progress. No scientist can claim that there would be no mistake in his or her efforts toward achievements. 【没有交代清楚reason就匆匆的给出例子了】我的错 Take Edison, a great American inventor, as an example. During the course of his intention-bulb, he had tried more than two thousand kinds of materials, in other words, made mistake for more than two thousands of times. Fortunately, he succeeded at last. 【为什么所有人都用这个例子呢？】例子不足啊 Through mistakes, we can find out the fallacies and weakness of our methods, and then revise them or even drop 【drop了又怎么能成功呢？换一种新的方法？表述不清】the effort accordingly. Through mistakes, we can also find other valuable knowledge, ideas as well as methods which will helpful in our new try. 【论述不够清晰】

However, is any discovery or prepress are based on mistakes? 【病句】Maybe most people, nine out of ten, 【感觉你有些句子跟boyjim同学很类似，呵呵，这是什么模板啊】 嘿嘿 would not agree with this proposition. We can reason out a very absurd conclusion from the proposition: no matter how careful our plan is, and how reasonable our method is, there are inevitably mistakes in the course of discovery or progress, even a very simple discovery or a trivial progress. 【我觉得这个结论还算是合理的，怎么能说是absurd呢？】More ridiculously, the proposition tells us that, if there is no giving up, any effort will inevitably ends with success. Actually, when doing research, giving up is needed if the hope of success is small. 【不懂你这两句的意思。而且，总的来说，不清楚你这段是要支持还是反对题目】 这段的意思还是反对，就知道会这样

Actually, there are many ways to avoid mistakes. 【这就有点远了，按照你的观点，这里应该是要论证有其他的方法可以达到成功，反对only的，但是你把论点立为可以避免mistake就有偏差了】这句话应该换个说法，不是only，but some others，对吗？ In the first place, there are many principles and rules that will make our efforts in the right way. In addition, there are a myriad of theories which have been proved right can guide our efforts. These theories are based on the industrious work of generations. Last but not least, we can also try to avoid mistakes through corporation and negotiation. People from distinct areas may have different perspectives on the problem to solve. Based on cooperation and negotiation, the plan can be more reasonable and the chance to make a mistake can be lowered or evicted. 【这段的作用是什么，反对mistake带来成功吗？观点不是很明确】

To sum up, although mistakes play a paramount role in the process of discovery or progress, it is evitable that mistakes are not the "only" to success. In such a rapid changing information society, based on the knowledge heritage of our ancestors, through cooperation, coordination as well as negotiation, mistakes are avoidable in the course to a discovery or progress. Also, we should not neglect that careful and well-connected plan by ourselves is a good way of avoiding mistakes.

郁闷啊，郁闷。。。

boancquUID: 165060

就来了哈！