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zhoulin00001UID: 189304

------题目------
Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.
------正文------
Tradition and modernization are significant in that everything represents either of them, which is admitted by everyone. But here there is another problem related to it, that is whether they are incompatible and we must choose between them or not. As far as I am concerned, although tradition and modernization are incompatible to some extent, we should absorb the essence of both rather than choose one of them while abandon the other.

Undoubtedly, modernization bring us great benefits. With the development of science and technology, the material conditions have reached a height that has never been achieved. In the past, our ancestors worked day and night just to fill their stomach and not to wear rags; people was tormented by various kinds of illness; they even had little recreational facility for entertainment in their little free time, and so on. Thanks to the science and technology which bring the modernization, with the help of them, out living standard has been greatly improved. Today, most of us need not worry about their food and clothes; we are alleviated from disease through the advance technology and live a much longer life than our ancestors; we can enjoy ourselves by innumerous kinds of invention, such as TV, computer, in our spare time, and so forth. In a word, our lives quality has went through enormous improvement.

Admittedly, modernization also has many negative effect. Anything is not absolutely perfect, including modernization. When it brings us great convenience, it also generate lots of problems. See pollution, fuel crisis, greenhouse effect. To people, it results in more stress, alienation of the relationship between people, etc. All of these are things that we do not want to see.

On the other hand, convention bring innumerable many virtues to modern people, which all own great value and should not be ignored. Many virtues in the past are still invaluable today and should not be altered. Such as Edison's persistence to his goal, skepticism and experiment spirit represented in Galileo, Confucius's great enthusiasm to study and loyalty thought, and so an, all of which are still very useful and would never lose their value.

On the contrary, some banal tradition which are detrimental to individual and  society should be eradicated without any hesitation. Because of the lack of science and technology knowledge, many natural and physical phenomena cannot be explained by the limited knowledge. Therefore, many traditions were generated to content the need in these fields. With the development of science and technology, most of them have lost their meaning and some of them are even harmful to our human being. For example, in many remote areas of China, many rural people do not go to hospital when they get sick. They just follow the tradition to treat their discomfort by exorcism, which has little help to alleviate their pain. Many people even lose their lives because of these harmful tradition. Thus these kinds of tradition should been ban stoutly.

In conclusion, rather than to choose one and refuse the other, great effort should be made to preserve and develop the essence of tradition and modernization to make the future of our lives more colorful.

zhengandhong135UID: 164542

rt

violet00UID: 199821

我觉得第一段是不是不应该去讲现代化的好处呢，毕竟它是在问现代与传统的可兼容性问题，感觉不应该单独论述。

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

顶

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

Tradition and modernization are significant in that everything represents either of them, which is admitted by everyone. But here there is another problem前面都没problem怎么来的another related to it, that is whether they are incompatible and we must choose between them or not. As far as I am concerned, although tradition and modernization are incompatible to some extent, we should absorb the essence of both rather than choose one of them while abandon the other.

Undoubtedly, modernization bring us great benefits. With the development of science and technology, the material conditions have reached a height that has never been achieved. In the past, our ancestors worked day and night just to fill their stomach and not to wear rags; people was tormented by various kinds of illness; they even had little recreational facility for entertainment in their little free time, and so on. Thanks to the science and technology which bring the modernization, with the help of them, out living standard has been greatly improved. Today, most of us need not worry about their food and clothes; we are alleviated from disease through the advance technology and live a much longer life than our ancestors; we can enjoy ourselves by innumerous kinds of invention, such as TV, computer, in our spare time, and so forth. In a word, our lives quality has went through enormous improvement.这段的目的是什么？modernization benefits us？这样可以说明什么是essence么？可以说明如何absorb么？多问自己几个问题。我觉得要回答的是：什么是modernization,表现在哪里，从而让读者对modernization有一个广泛的认识，知道和tradition的区别有什么，有兼容么？有抵触么？从而能把握住你要论证的东西：要两者吸收精华。

Admittedly, modernization also has many negative effect. Anything is not absolutely perfect, including modernization. When it brings us great convenience, it also generate lots of problems. See pollution, fuel crisis, greenhouse effect. To people, it results in more stress, alienation of the relationship between people, etc. All of these are things that we do not want to see.这段倒是说了利弊，但是我觉得还是对modernization的认识上有模糊的感觉，觉得最好一开始加以定义解释和限制

On the other hand, convention bring innumerable many virtues to modern people, which all own great value and should not be ignored. Many virtues in the past are still invaluable today and should not be altered. Such as Edison's persistence to his goal, skepticism and experiment spirit represented in Galileo, Confucius's great enthusiasm to study and loyalty thought, and so an, all of which are still very useful and would never lose their value.感觉这个有些不太像tradition啊

On the contrary, some banal tradition which are detrimental to individual and society should be eradicated without any hesitation. Because of the lack of science and technology knowledge, many natural and physical phenomena cannot be explained by the limited knowledge. Therefore, many traditions were generated to content the need in these fields. With the development of science and technology, most of them have lost their meaning and some of them are even harmful to our human being. For example, in many remote areas of China, many rural people do not go to hospital when they get sick. They just follow the tradition to treat their discomfort by exorcism, which has little help to alleviate their pain. Many people even lose their lives because of these harmful tradition. 觉得这个东西吧，算在tradition也有些牵强，不过好像也说的通，请教Thus these kinds of tradition should been ban stoutly.

In conclusion, rather than to choose one and refuse the other, great effort should be made to preserve and develop the essence of tradition and modernization to make the future of our lives more colorful.

没太仔细改，抱歉。1，对于这个题目我觉得要讨论的是现代化是什么，传统是什么，他们的关系是兼容的还是相互抵触的？是要必须选择一个么？还是可以共存。1，B1探讨的东西感觉不是很切题，上面说过。2，缺乏对两者的分析和理解，似的对你描述的各种现象不太容易联系到modernization/tradition上，最好一开始都加以定义。3，缺乏两者之间关系的讨论，也就是说没有很好的回应题目的关键词“incompatible”，只说要吸收精华，那是不是要作出选择？比如说当你看见tradition的一些阴暗的地方的时候要摒弃，那和modernization有关系么？矛盾么？这和你没有对两概念进行分析有一定的关系。4，各段段首的衔接词总有些不太舒服的感觉，用的时候想一下和上面一段什么关系，有的地方语气太强烈了。加油噢！

xuding_godUID: 179213

题目------
Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.
------正文------
Tradition and modernization are significant in that everything represents either of them, which is admitted by everyone. But here there is another problem related to it, that is whether they are incompatible and we must choose between them or not上面两个从句读着有点别扭. As far as I am concerned, although tradition and modernization are incompatible to some extent, we should absorb the essence of both rather than choose one of them while abandon the other.

Undoubtedly, modernization bring us great benefits. With the development of science and technology, the material conditions have reached a height that has never been achieved. In the past, our ancestors worked day and night just to fill their stomach and not to wear rags; people was tormented by various kinds of illness; they even had little recreational facility for entertainment in their little free time, and so on. Thanks to the science and technology which bring the modernization, with the help of them, out living standard has been greatly improved. Today, most of us need not worry about their food and clothes; we are alleviated from disease through the advance technology and live a much longer life than our ancestors; we can enjoy ourselves by innumerous kinds of invention, such as TV, computer, in our spare time, and so forth. In a word, our lives quality has went through enormous improvement.

Admittedly, modernization also has many negative effect. Anything is not absolutely perfect, including modernization. When it brings us great convenience, it also generate lots of problems. See pollution, fuel crisis, greenhouse effect. To people, it results in more stress, alienation of the relationship between people, etc. All of these are things that we do not want to see.

On the other hand, convention bring innumerable many virtues to modern people, which all own great value and should not be ignored. Many virtues in the past are still invaluable today and should not be altered. Such as Edison's persistence to his goal, skepticism and experiment spirit represented in Galileo, Confucius's great enthusiasm to study and loyalty thought, and so an, all of which are still very useful and would never lose their value.

On the contrary, some banal tradition which are detrimental to individual and society should be eradicated without any hesitation. Because of the lack of science and technology knowledge, many natural and physical phenomena cannot be explained by the limited knowledge. Therefore, many traditions were generated to content the need in these fields. With the development of science and technology, most of them have lost their meaning and some of them are even harmful to our human being. For example, in many remote areas of China, many rural people do not go to hospital when they get sick. They just follow the tradition to treat their discomfort by exorcism, which has little help to alleviate their pain. Many people even lose their lives because of these harmful tradition. Thus these kinds of tradition should been ban stoutly.

In conclusion, rather than to choose one and refuse the other, great effort should be made to preserve and develop the essence of tradition and modernization to make the future of our lives more colorful.

内容不错，只是我看了以后不大明白你想要论述的东西．开头提出的论点是tradition and modernization are incompatible to some extent, we should absorb the essence of both rather than choose one of them while abandon the other，结尾也呼应了开头．但整个ＢＯＤＹ部分我却没看到对这个论点的相关论述，而只是在论证现代化与传统化的优缺点，从中没有很明显论据论证incompatible和essence of each.我的建议是把论点换一下，因为我也出现过文不对题的情况：）如：Both of them have their own advantanges and disadvantanges that when we confront about the two, we must have a clearly think...
还有就是同意楼上的观点，觉得衔接有点生硬了
以上尽是个人愚见，不当谅解．楼主拍拍我这片吧：https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=258679

yoyo1984UID: 192359

最初由 victoriazhizhi 发布
[B]Tradition and modernization are significant in that everything represents either of them, which is admitted by everyone. But here there is another problem[color..

以下省略...... [/B]

your opinion is on the point ,the biggest flaw is mistaken the meaning of modernation and traditon

yoyo1984UID: 192359

opinion: tardition and modernization are not incomptible,[U]should [/U]  absorb each other  
            事实和倾向的典型错误，二者之间没联系
     moreover, two of them can be comptibel in some cases
structure : 1.the benefit of modernization
                2.modernization has negative effect
                3.tradition's good influence
                4.traditon bring bad things
        老美不一定能接受这种结构，饶的太多了，总感到你的结构是在将各自利弊，到底能不能相容基本没分析，每件事都有好坏两面，但不是都能相容，重点在二者关系
conclusion  这样的结论也不会有基础，没说服力　
   用老美的思维，逻辑是本质