同主题写作第七期issue10 还有一周考，求拍！互拍！

combatantUID: 200023

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
Preserving one's own culture traditions is becoming more and more important for every country in contemporary world which is under a process of globalization. I am partially agree with the assertion that governments should give sufficient financial support to their major cities for ensuring preservation of nation's cultural tradition as well as the prosperity of cities. However, based on the notion that cultural traditions exist both in major cities and countryside in most countries ,I think the governments should not only pay enough attention and put enough financial support to major cities, but also exert sufficient effort to ensure the preservation of conventions handed down through generations in rural areas .

Above all, I concede that major cities preserve many of a nation's cultural traditions .For example, from the forbidden city in Beijing of china, ancient temples and royal palace in Tokyo of Japan, to many ancient church in European cities, most historic buildings and architectures, which usually are important and sometimes indispensable symbols of cultural traditions, are located and preserved in major cities. Moreover, major cities are the center of many kinds of cultural activities, including traditional cultural activities. For example, Beijing opera, a famous Chinese traditional music art, is mainly performed and transmitted in big cities of China. We can see most museums, panting galleries, opera halls, and other important place for cultural activities are located in big cities. Thus, the government should provide enough budgets for maintaining and preserving all these historic buildings, traditional cultural activities, and other cultural traditions in major cities.

However, not all the cultural traditions are preserved in major cities. In contrary, many, even most of cultural traditions are handed down through generations and preserved in rural area, especially in developing countries. One example involved in this case is wedding ceremony in china nowadays. Through most of Chinese young people living in cities are not believe in Catholicism, they prefer to marry at Catholic churches caused by the influence by western culture. However, in rural area of china, many young couple still follow the Chinese traditional ceremony of wedding. Moreover, take traditional Chinese rice wine for example, the artifact of making this kind of rice wine disappeared in major cities in China for many years, and only still exist in some rural area. Some newspaper report that if the government do not take immediate measure to save and preserves this rice wine, maybe there is no one can make this kind of rice wine in near future. Accordingly, the government should not shoulder its responsibility of preservation of cultural traditions in rural area.

Finally, it is ineffective and futile to debate over the question that whether cultural traditions are preserved in cities or not, the more meaningful and important question is how to maintain, preserve, and even develop these priceless cultural traditions. Governments should take a active role in it by using limited resources to subside the urgent need of cultural preservation. In my observation, major cities are mainly economic center and have relatively richer financial resources than rural area. Therefore, major cities possess stronger economic strength to nurture its own cultural traditions' preservation. At the same time, rural areas, especially in developing countries, are usually in poverty and can not afford adequate investment required by its cultural preservation. In this sense, governments should allocate more money to ensue and boost preservation of conventions in rural area and small towns.

In conclusion, it is hardly to say whether more cultural traditions are preserved and generated are preserved and generated in major cities than other places. The government shoule keep a balance between financial investment of cultural preservation of both major cities and other places in order to ensure that limited financial resources government possessed could best support cultural traditions' preservation in all areas.

千翼UID: 199721

提一点意见,前两段论述,感觉太注重事例了,多些说理会好些吧.
而且有的从句可以改成插入语
本来想改的,那个软件总出毛病,先说这些了

combatantUID: 200023

谢谢楼上的，我和你同一天考，上海。

向日葵的孩子UID: 162587

Preserving one's own culture traditions is becoming more and more important for every country in contemporary world which is under a process of globalization. I am partially agree with the assertion that governments should give sufficient financial support to their major cities for ensuring preservation of nation's cultural tradition as well as the prosperity of cities. However, based on the notion that cultural traditions exist both in major cities and countryside in most countries ,I think the governments should not only pay enough attention and put enough financial support to major cities, but also exert sufficient effort to ensure the preservation of conventions handed down through generations in rural areas .

Above all, I concede that major cities preserve many of a nation's cultural traditions .For example, from the forbidden city in Beijing of china, ancient temples and royal palace in Tokyo of Japan, to many ancient church in European cities, most historic buildings and architectures, which usually are important and sometimes indispensable symbols of cultural traditions, are located and preserved in major cities. Moreover, major cities are the center of many kinds of cultural activities, including traditional cultural activities. For example, Beijing opera, a famous Chinese traditional music art, is mainly performed and transmitted in big cities of China. We can see most museums, panting galleries, opera halls, and other important place for cultural activities are located in big cities. Thus, the government should provide enough budgets for maintaining and preserving all these historic buildings, traditional cultural activities, and other cultural traditions in major cities.

However, not all the cultural traditions are preserved in major cities. In contraryon the contrary, many, even most of cultural traditions are handed down through generations and preserved in rural area, especially in developing countries. One example involved in this case is wedding ceremony in china nowadays. Through most of Chinese young people living in cities are not believe in Catholicism, they prefer to marry at Catholic churches caused by the influence byof western culture. However, in rural area of china, many young couple still follow the Chinese traditional ceremony of wedding. Moreover, take traditional Chinese rice wine for example, the artifact of making this kind of rice wine disappeared in major cities in China for many years, and only still exist in some rural area. Some newspaper report that if the government do not take immediate measure to save and preserves this rice wine, maybe there is no one can make this kind of rice wine in near future. Accordingly, the government should not shoulder its responsibility政府不应该承担责任？？去掉not of preservation of cultural traditions in rural area. 该段的line of reasoning：不是所有的traditions都存在于大城市，然后举了两个比较详细的例子，所以政府应该……。感觉因果关系不太成立啊。如果要这样写，那一定是建立在“是traditions就要保护”这个前提条件下。但是存在就一定需要保护吗？针对这个问题简单的说理两句会比较好

Finally, it is ineffective and futile to debate over the question that whether cultural traditions are preserved in cities or not, the more meaningful and important question is how to maintain, preserve, and even develop these priceless cultural traditions. Governments should take a active role in it by using limited resources to subside the urgent need of cultural preservation. In my observation, major cities are mainly economic center and have relatively richer financial resources than rural area. Therefore, major cities possess stronger economic strength to nurture its own cultural traditions' preservation. At the same time, rural areas, especially in developing countries, are usually in poverty and can not afford adequate investment required by its cultural preservation. In this sense, governments should allocate more money to ensue and boost preservation of conventions in rural area and small towns.这段还不错

In conclusion, it is hardly to say whether more cultural traditions are preserved and generated are preserved and generated in major cities than other places. The government shoule keep a balance between financial investment of cultural preservation of both major cities and other places in order to ensure that limited financial resources government possessed could best support cultural traditions' preservation in all areas.
语言还不错，大概看了一下没有什么语法错误，少量单复数有问题
文章结构比较完整，但感觉b1、b2似乎陷入了这样一种套路：分论点一提出，后面即紧接着for example……。感觉少了些深度的说理和阐发。而且论点比较简单，缺乏作文评分标准中要求的复杂性思维。Finally那段就很好了

combatantUID: 200023

谢谢向日葵的孩子！
论证的确没有说理，下次注意了，研究研究别人怎么组织好的论证的

kaoroUID: 189156

Preserving one's own culture traditions is becoming more and more important for every country in contemporary world which is under a process of globalization. I am partially agree with the assertion that governments should give sufficient financial support to their major cities for ensuring preservation of nation's cultural tradition as well as the prosperity of cities. However, based on the notion that cultural traditions exist both in major cities and countryside in most countries ,I think换个词？think有点中文 the governments should not only pay enough attention and put enough financial support to major cities, but also exert sufficient effort to ensure the preservation of conventions handed down through generations in rural areas .

Above all, I concede that major cities preserve many （/numerous/a myriad of/a plethera of/） of a nation's cultural traditions .For example, from the forbidden city in Beijing of china, ancient temples and royal palace in Tokyo of Japan, to many ancient church in European cities, most historic buildings and architectures, which usually are important and sometimes indispensable symbols of cultural traditions, are located and preserved in major cities. Moreover, major cities are the center of many 换词 kinds of cultural activities, including traditional cultural activities. For example,换词 Beijing opera, a famous Chinese traditional music art, is mainly performed and transmitted in big cities of China. We can see most museums, panting galleries, opera halls, and other important place for cultural activities are located in big cities. Thus, the government should provide enough budgets for maintaining and preserving all these historic buildings, traditional cultural activities, and other cultural traditions in major cities.
（按argu的逻辑 这里没有对两地的比较 只列举了城市多 似乎说服力不强）
However, not all the cultural traditions are preserved in major cities. In contrary, many, even most of cultural traditions are handed down through generations and preserved in rural area, especially in developing countries. One example involved in this case is wedding ceremony in china nowadays. Through？ most of Chinese young people living in cities are（do） not believe in Catholicism, they prefer to marry at Catholic churches caused by the influence by western culture. However, in rural area of china, many young couple（s） still follow the Chinese traditional ceremony of wedding. Moreover, take traditional Chinese rice wine for example, the artifact of making this kind of rice wine disappeared in major cities in China for many years, and only still exist in some rural area. Some newspaper report that if the government do not take immediate measure to save and preserves this rice wine, maybe there is no one can make this kind of rice wine in near future. Accordingly, the government should not shoulder its responsibility of preservation of cultural traditions in rural area.

Finally, it is ineffective and futile to debate over the question that whether cultural traditions are preserved in cities or not, the more meaningful and important question is how to maintain, preserve, and even develop these priceless cultural traditions. Governments should take a（n） active role in it by using limited resources to subside the urgent need of cultural preservation. In my observation, major cities are mainly economic center and have relatively richer financial resources than rural area. Therefore, major cities possess stronger economic strength to nurture its own cultural traditions' preservation. At the same time, rural areas, especially in developing countries, are usually in poverty and can not afford adequate investment required by its cultural preservation. In this sense, governments should allocate more money to ensue and boost preservation of conventions in rural area and small towns.

In conclusion, it is hardly to say whether more cultural traditions are preserved and generated are preserved and generated in major cities than other places. The government shoule keep a balance between financial investment of cultural preservation of both major cities and other places in order to ensure that limited financial resources government possessed could best support cultural traditions' preservation in all areas.

例子是要用reasoning来支撑的 否则有凑字数之嫌～ 词汇的多样性稍嫌不足 文章没在words里改过吧？有些明显的语法错误 其实你第四段的内容可以分别融入前两段中 使说理更清晰  另外 你论点是两个都要支持 但在论证过程中似乎是偏乡村的 我觉得应该一段写应该支持大城市的原因 比如税收拉 人口集中地拉 甚至是邓小平的“先富理论”等 另一段写乡村保存了culture 也应该支持
提供我考前写的提纲：
我意见是有保留反对
1.        非major城市的发展可能影响major城市（新疆对北京沙尘暴的影响）
2.        现在不major 甚至荒凉不等于没有投资价值（美国阿拉斯加）
3.        major城市的确要重视 税收等吹吹～^_^

ivyshoulUID: 195537

Preserving one's own culture traditions is becoming more and more important for every country in contemporary world which is under a process of globalization. I am partially agree with the assertion that governments should give sufficient financial support to their major cities for ensuring preservation of nation's cultural tradition as well as the prosperity of cities. However, based on the notion that cultural traditions exist both in major cities and countryside in most countries ,I think the governments should not only pay enough attention and put enough financial support to major cities, but also exert sufficient effort to ensure the preservation of conventions handed down through generations in rural areas .

Above all, I concede that major cities preserve many of a nation's cultural traditions .For example, from the forbidden city in Beijing of china, ancient temples and royal palace in Tokyo of Japan, to many ancient church in European cities, most historic buildings and architectures, which usually are important and sometimes indispensable symbols of cultural traditions, are located and preserved in major cities. Moreover, major cities are the center of many kinds of cultural activities, including traditional cultural activities. [直接说are the center of many traditional cultural activities比较好] For example, Beijing opera, a famous Chinese traditional music art, is mainly performed and transmitted in big cities of China.[就只在Beijing吧] We can see most museums, panting[painting] galleries, opera halls, and other important place for cultural activities[ are located] in big cities. Thus, the government should provide enough budgets for maintaining and preserving all these historic buildings, traditional cultural activities, and other cultural traditions in major cities.

However, not all the cultural traditions are preserved in major cities. In contrary, many, even most of cultural traditions are handed down through generations and preserved in rural area, [which is] especially [true] in developing countries. One example involved in this case is wedding ceremony in china nowadays. Through [though]most of Chinese young people living in cities are not believe in Catholicism, they prefer to marry at Catholic churches caused by the influence by[of] western culture. However, in rural area of china, many young couple still follow the Chinese traditional ceremony of wedding. Moreover, take traditional Chinese rice wine for example, the artifact[词的意思不对] of making this kind of rice wine disappeared in major cities in China for many years, and only still exist in some rural area. Some newspaper report that if the government do not take immediate measure to save and preserves this [the technique of producing] rice wine, maybe there is no one can make this kind of rice wine in near future. Accordingly, the government should [not] shoulder its responsibility of preservation of cultural traditions in rural area.

Finally, it is ineffective and futile to debate over the question that whether cultural traditions are preserved in cities or not, the more meaningful and important question is how to maintain, preserve, and even develop these priceless cultural traditions. [不如说成与其讨论这个,不如想点实际的怎么分钱的问题….]Governments should take a active role in it by using limited resources to subside the urgent need of cultural preservation. In my observation, major cities are mainly economic center and have relatively richer financial resources than rural area. Therefore, major cities possess stronger economic strength to nurture its own cultural traditions' preservation. At the same time, rural areas, especially in developing countries, are usually in poverty and can not afford adequate investment required by its cultural preservation. In this sense, governments should allocate more money to ensue and boost preservation of conventions in rural area and small towns.

In conclusion, it is hardly to say whether more cultural traditions are preserved and generated [are preserved and generated] in major cities than [in] other places. The government shoule keep a balance between financial investment of cultural preservation of both major cities and other places in order to ensure that limited financial resources government possessed could best support cultural traditions' preservation in all areas.
[很不错阿,逻辑清晰语言也不错]


也看看我的吧

xiaoliu86UID: 174867

四楼地要求比较高，看来是高手。
in my view, 文章很好。思路清晰，例子比较准确。我最愁就是想不出例子。

互拍，帮我看看
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=257037  
第二篇argument

xiaoliu86UID: 174867

我认为top sentence后面还是需要在分析一下，不要突然过渡倒example
argue16
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=257037

xiaoliu86UID: 174867

我得思路：
1 major cities's role in preserving and generating tradition
2, rural areas' role to maintain and hand down tradtion
3 fund more rural areas because many of them are in poverty but major cities can support themselves due to developed economy.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
------正文------
Preserving one's own culture traditions is becoming more and more important for every country in contemporary world which is under a process of globalization. I am partially agree with the assertion that governments should give sufficient financial support to their major cities for ensuring preservation of nation's cultural tradition as well as the prosperity of cities. However, based on the notion that cultural traditions exist both in major cities and countryside in most countries ,I think the governments should not only pay enough attention and put enough financial support to major cities, but also exert sufficient effort to ensure the preservation of conventions handed down through generations in rural areas .

Above all, I concede that major cities preserve many of a nation's cultural traditions .For example, from the forbidden city in Beijing of china, ancient temples and royal palace in Tokyo of Japan, to many ancient church in European cities, most historic buildings and architectures, which usually are important and sometimes indispensable symbols of cultural traditions, are located and preserved in major cities. Moreover, major cities are the center of many kinds of cultural activities, including traditional cultural activities. For example, Beijing opera, a famous Chinese traditional music art, is mainly performed and transmitted in big cities of China. We can see most museums, panting galleries, opera halls, and other important place for cultural activities are located in big cities. Thus, the government should provide enough budgets for maintaining and preserving all these historic buildings, traditional cultural activities, and other cultural traditions in major cities.

However, not all the cultural traditions are preserved in major cities. In contrary, many, even most of cultural traditions are handed down through generations and preserved in rural area, especially in developing countries. One example involved in this case is wedding ceremony in china nowadays. Through most of Chinese young people living in cities are not believe in Catholicism, they prefer to marry at Catholic churches caused by the influence by western culture. However, in rural area of china, many young couple still follow the Chinese traditional ceremony of wedding. Moreover, take traditional Chinese rice wine for example, the artifact of making this kind of rice wine disappeared in major cities in China for many years, and only still exist in some rural area. Some newspaper report that if the government do not take immediate measure to save and preserves this rice wine, maybe there is no one can make this kind of rice wine in near future. Accordingly, the government should not shoulder its responsibility of preservation of cultural traditions in rural area.

Finally, it is ineffective and futile to debate over the question that whether cultural traditions are preserved in cities or not, the more meaningful and important question is how to maintain, preserve, and even develop these priceless cultural traditions. Governments should take a active role in it by using limited resources to subside the urgent need of cultural preservation. In my observation,以你的观察就得出后面的结论,太没说服力了吧! major cities are mainly economic center and have relatively richer financial resources than rural area. Therefore, major cities possess stronger economic strength to nurture its own cultural traditions' preservation. At the same time, rural areas, especially in developing countries, are usually in poverty and can not afford adequate investment required by its cultural preservation. In this sense, governments should allocate more money to ensue and boost preservation of conventions in rural area and small towns.

In conclusion, it is hardlyhard to say whether more cultural traditions are preserved and generated are preserved and generated in major cities than other places. The government shoule keep a balance between financial investment of cultural preservation of both major cities and other places in order to ensure that limited financial resources government possessed could best support cultural traditions' preservation in all areas.

楼主写得很不错了! 祝考试顺利!  :D

deserteagleUID: 201968

占个位先
嘿嘿