issue10 同主题

猫猫624UID: 171232

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places which also play a vital role in preserving and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world.  In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance. Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not survive and thrive, let alone being handed down from generation to another. Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem.

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities. Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case, governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition.  Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted.  

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition. Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed as precious stones scatter around. Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention.  

To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.

boyjimUID: 125249

sit

boyjimUID: 125249

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. [这样的开头不够吸引人~虽然开门见山~个人观点而已] However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. [建议用否定词改称倒装句] Besides, rural areas, places which also play a vital [押运viral and pivotal even fatal] role in preserving and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require the financial support to thrive and promote [我就很喜欢押运survive and thrive不过可能用的人比较多] . Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition [这么好的否定词不用倒撞多可惜啊] . For supporting example, we should [给你一个提示~necessary的动词形式是什么？嗬嗬~] look no further than [look no further than建议不要用~太多人用了~老外280也是] the Florence of Italy in Renaissance [考试的时候能不能记住] . Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not be thriving, let alone being handed down from generation to another. [例子过长] Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. [这句话有点过] It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem.

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助） [观点新颖 值得商榷~]
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume [换词uphold/shoulder] the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate [换词qualified] candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities [句型单调了~] . Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case, [来一个if 的虚拟语气得倒装] governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted. [你的定义从句~状语~插入的功底不错~但是~对于多变的句型还不够]

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化） [这个观点应该着重发展]
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, [这里和全球化扯不上关系把] the cultural tradition of countryside has [换个表达，把has去掉] better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition. [这么好的hardly给你浪费了~] Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed [consider] as precious stones scatter around. Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention. [结尾可以适当来个排比抒情]

To sum up, [讨厌这个词涅] certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world. [结尾可以适当发展~适当跑题~适当煽情~呵呵~]

boyjimUID: 125249

小弟也就会用倒转~暂时还没有学会很好的运用省略~

boyjimUID: 125249

最初由 猫猫624 发布
[B]boyjim,谢谢捧场!小声问一句,那个照片是你吗?好帅的说!!! [/B]

去年的我~ :D
现在头发短了~ :p

nashaUID: 175030

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places{删掉一个places} which also play a vital role in preserving{换一个词,conservering} and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places{和第一段一样,表达大城市,大地方,但是我觉得就一个词足够表达意思了} {被动,加are}usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require{requiring,猫猫的意思是Major cities, supposed to be the cultural centers of a nation, require...,那也得在cities后用个逗号吧,这样看比较清楚} the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. In retrospect{猫猫的高频词,上篇文章也有}, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance. Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not survive and thrive, let alone being handed down from generation to another.{例子说的很具体了,好} Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem.

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities. {主题句就是Not only the government but also other forces should contrite to facilitate major cities's development, after all, the fund given by the government is limited,因为miaomiao接下来有很具体的深入论述,所以建议把主题句改的简单明了一点，这样层次感就出来 }Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case, governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. {前面有点乱,下一句好象才切如主题句}Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted.

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. {可以用一句话举个例子,这样就具体了,比如说侗族大歌}Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition. Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed as precious stones scatter around.{拍
miaomiao文章中发现的第一个etaphor,不错} Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention.

To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.{首段的立场是,除了大城市，其他地方不能忽略,到结尾,miamiao改变了立场，说其他地方更重要,我觉得不妥当,可以说两者都应充实,而不是说谁比谁更应得到重视.可以改为Considering the significance of perserving traditional culture in both the major cities and the rest regions, the government should pay equally attention to support either of them financially.我写的不好，大概就这个意思吧．总之，前后要呼应，虽然说结尾可以说的再深入一些，但既然你在文章中没有说到小城市比大城市更有优势保存文化遗产，只是说有同样的作用，那么你就不应该在结尾这样转移重点．个人意见，请参考．}

总体的评价是，和上篇的主题作文比起来，语言一样流畅，不过感觉这篇有些地方有点罗嗦了．但仍然不影响说服力，不错．比我写的好多了，汗汗汗

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 nasha 发布
[B]I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions i..

以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢砖头!这篇写起来感觉用词非常匮乏,好象状态不佳. 其实是实力不够. 有点打疲劳战了.现在去拍拍你的.中午以前贴上去!

还有问一句,我好象结尾没有提到其他地方更重要吧

天晴了UID: 201592

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places which also play a vital role in preserving and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.
【层次清楚  嗯～与众不同呦  先说城市 后农村补充 这样比较讨巧】


(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance. Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not be thriving, let alone being handed down from generation to another. Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. It is required 【to】suffice 【suffice是动词】financial support and effective measures to address this problem. 【前面的部分，好像就是以例子来说的： 为什么说大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持， 是因为历史上都是这样的，能不能再深入说一下 ，就像besides后面就给出一个原因； 我觉得这样就更完美啦～～】

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate  candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities . Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility 【infeasible】 for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case, governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted.

【加个例子吧  florence的美狄奇家族 猫猫的世界美术史是必修吗  ：）】

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition. Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed [consider] as precious stones scatter around. Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention.

【说农村的我觉得有点重了 就把它做个补充比较好 我觉得 这样结尾就更要改了 】

To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, 【not always。。。but rather。。。好像强调的是rural，实际上你想说两个都要 是吗？】where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.

好文章 ：） 思路真是很巧妙 规避了麻烦的地方  ：）聪明～

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 天晴了 发布
[B]
【加个例子吧 florence的美狄奇家族 猫猫的世界美术史是必修吗 ：）】

以下省略...... [/B]

握个手先!阁下是?
回去查查怎么拼!
谢谢拍砖!!!下午报仇

gehaifengUID: 189090

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places which also play a vital role in preserving and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.
呵呵, 你开头的风格已经形成了, 比如有保留的赞成I fundamentally agree that,~~, but the author should not extend/ over emphasis to ~~ . btw,我也是这种开头, 有没有回判成雷同或者作弊的可能, 猫猫

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. 这中间有个跳跃,前面说了大城市很多文化遗产, 后面直接说不能否认资助对这些遗产的影响,最好加一句抽象的概括, 用来承接, One reason of achieving and preserving of significant art works among these metropolitans is the financial support by government 我写的不好,你自己总结一下把 In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance . Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not survive and thrive, let alone being handed down from generation to another.  Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem. 最后两句话在ts没有体现出来, 没有做到前后呼应, 其实不写也罢

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition.今天看了G猫的文章,觉得段落之间的衔接还是有必要的,单一的模板毕竟没有用句子来衔接的好, 这里你也可以写完整个作文后,统一的衔接一下 Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities. Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment environment可以用peaceful嘛,你想表达和谐的生活对把, harmonious social life 可以不, 还是从你原来的文章学的呵呵 of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case, governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. Practical experience 这个practical experience指的是什么, 具体的没有写把aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted.

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, 这里是一个递进不是让步,应该用what is more/ less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition都市华是造成地区贫穷的原因, 这个不应该是因果关系把, 最多可以说相关关系,因为与都市化相比, 地区穷了 可以接着上面的说,  While the increasing trend of urbanization which meet the prosperity of modern culture, the relative poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving and promoting of traditional culture . Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed as precious stones scatter around 哇,这个比喻不错,. Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention.
好几天没有看你的文章了,感觉你的文章,有点而跳, 个人感觉, 是逻辑上的,不是文字上的,你的文字我还是能力不够,无法评价
To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.
第一body和第三body , 看了你的结尾了, 应该把b1作为让步来说,  这个是逻辑的一个大洞, 你说成平行了, 拍一下!!!!

gehaifengUID: 189090

针对你上面写的一个, 实践告诉我们
我想出来一个:

commonsense inform us that,      如果他们想不通怎么没有例子, 就说明没有常识

anthraxUID: 176473

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities.(阿，这里觉得居然出现了necesary就该改为necessitate，文章显得灵动。the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in mayor cities necessitate financial support from government.) However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places (place就省掉吧？)which also play a vital role in preserving and generating cultural tradition,(用动词分词好了,playing a vital role in ...) should not be neglected by the society.

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace(插入与做的不错), require the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming(这词不太好) cultural heritage in the world. In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance. Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean,(交易繁荣了政府就给钱了？有点牵强) Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not survive and thrive, let alone being handed down from generation to another. Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem.(感觉应该把这个问题分开来讲。文化均一化的趋势，似乎这个趋势在城市里比较明显。要不然分析一下原因？)

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities. (稍微冗长了，要不绕考虑简洁一点？)Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case,(Given the case) governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted.

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition(详细说一下为什么没钱就保护不了呢？要拆掉旧建筑？艺术家纷纷改行？). Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed as precious stones scatter around.(挺有创意的比喻) Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention.

To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent(indispensable) in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.

感觉论证思路清晰，语言也很到位，只是还差一点不够出彩。最后总结的时候应该再提下保护城市的传统的不可行性，另外，以子之矛攻子之盾，支持乡村的艺术同样存在偏见，这个怎么说?

wanzatheUID: 168928

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places which also play a vital role in preserving and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.观点明确,层次清晰

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually 删掉place usually是否更简练些regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance. Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left. If not Without the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not survive and thrive, let alone being handed down from generation to another. Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. 这句话在这段感觉有些多余 It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem.正段写的很不错,遗憾的是段尾句不是很精彩

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume assume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities. Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced facing with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition 复数. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be a representative of general populace’s public’s viewpoints. If in this case, governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply 复数 to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted. 要是能举一个个人和团体为文化传统保护提供资助的例子就好了

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition. 这句话的逻辑不清楚 Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed as precious stones scatter around. 真不错 Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention.

To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of 删掉one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent urgent的观点在文章中并没有涉及吧 in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is more likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.in a globalized world.

猫猫啥时候考试啊:)

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 gehaifeng 发布
[B]Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. 这中间有个跳跃,前面说了大城市很多文化遗产, 后面直接说不能否认资助对这些遗产的影响,最好加一句抽象的概括, 用来承接, One reason of achieving and preserving of significant art works among these metropolitans is the financial support by government 我写的不好,你自己总结一下把 In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition.


Admittedly, 这里是一个递进不是让步,应该用what is more/ less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition

第一body和第三body , 看了你的结尾了, 应该把b1作为让步来说, 这个是逻辑的一个大洞, 你说成平行了, 拍一下!!!!

以下省略...... [/B]

B1中说那里有点跳,我认为前面先说大城市是文化中心.后面说不可否认在这些城市中经济繁荣对文化发展的作用.我认为中间好象没有什么跳的地方吧.你加的那一句政府的经济支持是文化发展的原因?我感觉好象不是我想表达的意思.在第一段中我并没有论证经济支持是应该由谁提供.只是论证经济支持促进文化发展,也就是先论述文化发展和经济的关系.到了第二段我才提到经济支持该由谁提供的问题.讲道政府责无旁贷,但是却不可能担负所有的责任.


Admittedly 这句是让步,你体会我在这段论述的是虽然乡村不受城市化影响给传统文化的发展提供了很理想的环境,但是乡村的贫穷使得传统文化不能很好的保留和发展.

至于城市化是不是乡村贫穷的原因我想城市化带来了政府政策的失调,人口的密集,劳动力由乡村大量流入城市,使得城市乡村不能协调发展.这在很多发展中国家都很明显.例如墨西哥城仅一个城市居住了近全国1/4的人口,另外还有韩国的汉城.乡村的贫困都与城市的过度城市化分不开.在中国有相对严格的户口制度,所以相比还不是很严重.但是这些年过度的城市化现象也很明显,例如北京上海的发展.
这可能不是很好理解,但是我好象在学习城市发展史的时候有这样的说法.关键你怎么理解的城市化这三个字.

B1 我觉的我没有把它当成让步段,可能是B2开头的on the other hand 用错了. B1段我认为文化产生和发展需要经济支持,部分同意题目观点,B2段指出我与题目的分歧在于谁提供经济支持的问题,政府不可能也不适宜提供所有的支持.B3又对题目观点作补充乡村不能忽视.On the other hand 只是表明B1是部分赞同作者观点,B2 是否认作者观点.

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 anthrax 发布
[B]I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions i..

以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢鼓励,看了看你的文章,感觉比我的要灵活许多.不象我的那么僵化.看了后启发很大.necessitate  boyjim给我提醒过.可是总想不起来.呵呵
非常感谢你给我拍砖!