issue10 同主题

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 wanzathe 发布
[B]10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's..

以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢鼓励.
提一点,,faced with 是be faced with 的省略
如果是facing 就不要with

我4.28考试

skating_dollUID: 168003

来晚了不好意思，昨晚上怎么也上不了……

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that financial support is necessary to ensure the preservation and generation of a nation's cultural traditions in major cities. However, it is inappropriate and unnecessary for governments to assume all the responsibilities. Besides, rural areas, places which also play a vital role in preserving and generating cultural tradition, should not be neglected by the society.条理分明，层次清楚，跟以下段落完全呼应，如果再特别一点,出彩一点就更好了

(大城市文化繁荣需要经济支持)
Major cities, places usually regarded as the cultural centers of the nations by general populace, require the financial support to thrive and promote. Athens of Greece, Paris of France, Rome and Florence of Italy and Peking of China, are believed to obtain个人感觉还是用保存更好一点 overwhelming cultural heritage in the world. In retrospect, nobody can deny the beneficial influence of financial support exerted to promote the development of cultural tradition为什么不能否认？绝对了一点，而且下文也没有足够说清楚. For supporting example, we should look no further than the Florence of Italy in Renaissance. Because of the economic support resulted from the thriving trade in Mediterranean, Florence was filled with artists, and therefore marvelous works of art were left.艺术作品与文化传统还是有一些差别的，另外经济繁荣和政府支持应该是不同的，因为一个是内在动因，艺术也是社会生活直接或间接生活的反映，比如各个时代的经济情况，与相应的艺术风格、文学流派都是互相呼应的。一个是直接的外部财政力量支持。可以再举个例子说说保存，比如金字塔、故宫之类的 If not the financial supports, the valuable cultural tradition could not survive and thrive, let alone being handed down from generation to another这个可能绝对了一点，比如流传下来的吟唱史诗奥德赛之类的算不算valuable cultural tradition呢？. Besides, due to the impact of globalization, human beings are facing the risk of losing these uniquely cultural traditions. It is required suffice financial support and effective measures to address this problem.觉得最好先论述一下文化传统，再从保存和产生两方面说明，不要都混在一起可能好些

（政府承担部分财政支持，除此以外还有个人，社会机构的资助）
On the other hand, my viewpoints of contention with the speaker's claim lies in the question that who should resume the responsibilities of offering financial support to major cities, in order to preserve cultural tradition. Admittedly, the governments should be one of appropriate candidates for these positions, for the reason that the governments have the powers and abilities to provide certain financial subsidy. However, it is impossible and inappropriate for the governments to assume the whole responsibilities. Firstly, the main objective of government involves the sound development of economy and science, well-being of the general populace, the peaceful environment of the nation and the like. Faced with finite resource and energy, it is infeasibility for the governments to help preserve all the cultural tradition. In addition, the inclination of governments over the problem, which cultural tradition should be awarded the priority, sometimes cannot be representative of general populace’s viewpoints. If in this case, governments’ choices will play certain negative impact on the healthy generation and preservation of cultural tradition. Practical experience aptly informs us that, apart from the financial support offered by governments, some individuals, social institution can provide economic subsidy, which can be regarded as beneficially additional supply to ensure the cultural tradition to be preserved and promoted.这段语言驾驭娴熟，有气势，有说服力

（乡村地区也需要经济支持，来保存和发展传统文化）
Aside from major cities, the important role of rural areas in terms of generating and preserving cultural convention should not be overlooked. The traces of cultural tradition are also recorded in folk songs, traditional, ceremonies, craft which uniquely exist in rural areas. Admittedly, less influenced by the globalization, the cultural tradition of countryside has better environment to be preserved. Due to the increasing trend of urbanization, the poverty of rural areas hardly meets the economic requirement for preserving cultural tradition. Therefore, it is necessary for some individuals, governments and some social institutions to provide economic support. While the cultural tradition of major cities is regarded as the jewels of crowns, one of rural areas can be believed as precious stones scatter around. Enough attention and sufficient financial support should be paid not only on major cities but also on rural areas, in order to ensure the wholesome development and preservation of cultural convention. 这段值得商榷，毕竟题目是应财政支持大城市，因为他保存了文化传统，至于乡村是不是也保存了不一定在议题范围内，注意副词限制primarily；而不是因为要保存文化传统，所以支持大城市。这段可以提及，但最好不要单列一段详细分析

To sum up, certain financial subsidy, which involves not only one of governments but also some of other fields, is necessary and urgent in order to ensure the preservation and generation of cultural tradition. Besides, these financial priorities should not be always awarded to major cites, but rather rural areas, where distinct cultural preservation is likely to be promoted and preserved in the globalization of the world.

题目是政府必须要确保主要城市发展所需的财政支持，因为一个国家的文化传统主要是在城市中得以保存和发展。我觉得题干的主语是Government，所以最好重点从Government的角度去论述，政府应不应该支持，为什么支持，为什么不支持。另外原因也可以讨论，政府提供财政支持，是不是只因为文化传统角度，主要城市的其他方面，政治经济地位是否更有理由等等。

语言相当流畅，佩服～

BTW：猫猫是学艺术的吧，四月的新东方英语上有美国大学艺术类专业的介绍也许会对你有所帮助。

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 skating_doll 发布
[B]来晚了不好意思，昨晚上怎么也上不了……

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because..

BTW：猫猫是学艺术的吧，四月的新东方英语上有美国大学艺术类专业的介绍也许会对你有所帮助。

以下省略...... [/B]

非常谢谢拍砖.谢谢你提供信息给我 !
第2段你提的意见挺好的.我是有点概念混淆.
我本来的意图是由于词题中出现的概念比较多,例如 government , financial support, preservation and generation of cultural tradition , major cities. 所以我觉得不太好论述清楚他们之间的关系.所以我就每段论述两者之间的关系,然后再靠段与段之间的逻辑关系串起来.
B1 论述文化传统保留发展preservation and generation of cultural tradition 与财政支持financial support的关系
B2 这些经济支持政府承担一部分而不是全部,即government 和financial support的关系
B3 除了大城市,乡村不能忽视.

B1 同意你的说法,举例不恰当,将economic support 与financial support 混淆.
至于说艺术不能等同于文化传统,我觉得就将就吧.至少艺术也算文化传统.文章篇幅有限,不太可能面面具到.
再谈到除了generation 还有perservation ,可以在谈今天florence 艺术的保留和几百年来finnacial support 分不开.一个例子就交代清楚了.

B3 我觉的可以单独一段,因为题目最后一句说到了because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated., 可以对他进行反驳.不是primarily in major cites, 还有rural areas.也就是我上面提到的论述preservation and generation of cultural tradition 和major cities 的关系.

skating_dollUID: 168003

最初由 猫猫624 发布
B1 论述文化传统保留发展preservation and generation of cultural tradition 与财政支持financial support的关系
B2 这些经济支持政府承担一部分而不是全部,即government 和financial support的关系
B3 除了大城市,乡村不能忽视.

B3 我觉的可以单独一段,因为题目最后一句说到了because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated., 可以对他进行反驳.不是primarily in major cites, 还有rural areas.也就是我上面提到的论述preservation and generation of cultural tradition 和major cities 的关系.

我觉得你还是把重点放在了文化传统上：文化传统与大城市，政府在保留文化传统上的角色，乡村与文化传统。但是文化传统实际上是出现在从句部分的，是给出的一个理由，而主句是Government should...更应该是重点吧……

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 skating_doll 发布
[B][QUOTE]最初由 猫猫624 发布
B1 论述文化传统保留发展preservation and generation of cultural tradition 与财政支持financial support的关系
B2 这些经济支持政..

以下省略...... [/B]

我是把cultural trasition 当成重点来写的,论述了他和government, financial support ,major cities 的关系
不知道你有没有看pooh 的同主题讲解,里面列了4条.我理解大概也就是这些意思.

你认为以government 为中心你会怎么论述?是不是论述完对cultural tradition 的support 还要主要论述对其他方面的支持.

skating_dollUID: 168003

不知道你有没有看pooh 的同主题讲解,里面列了4条.我理解大概也就是这些意思.

你认为以government 为中心你会怎么论述?是不是论述完对cultural tradition 的support 还要主要论述对其他方面的支持.

之前没有看，刚才去看了一些，列举太多条看得有点头晕……的确这个范围太大了。觉得方方面面都能论述，所以很难下手，我也只是说说个人管见。也许和更多人讨论讨论能更帮助我们更好得理清思路。

我自己读题的感觉是：
1 为了保留大城市的文化传统，政府确实应该提供某种程度的支持
2 但是如果仅仅立足于文化传统这个标准支持，政府会忽视城市中某些更紧要的方面，比如福利问题、城市问题。（这个地方也许可以提一下rural are）
3 但是如果仅仅靠政府支持是不现实的，资金精力问题等等。要发掘自身潜力，同时呼吁社会各界共同努力，否则即使政府出资也不一定能很好的达到目的。

思路还是有点乱，想方方面面说到又不利中心突出，要舍掉想到的方面又舍不得……