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[i习作temp] ISSUE138 同主题写作 失败是成功的妈 自我感觉还不错! 求拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-3-29 11:54:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
138,Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------------------------------------------------------------

Along with the life of the human being, there will be a lot of mistakes. However, mistakes should be considered a piece of treasure that needs to be cherished, through which people can accomplish discovery or progress.

To begin with, in the field of discovery, mistakes can be of great of help. Common sense tells people that in the process of discovery or invention, usually, there will be little situation of absolutely satisfaction but full of difficulties and mistakes. Only the very kind of people who have the gritty stamina, steely nerve and the spirit to overcome difficulty and mistakes can make an outstanding discovery and achieve great success. A famous example involved is that the well-known inventor Edison, before finding out the fittest material for the bulb, had experimented for thousands of times with a vast number of kinds of material. Ultimately, through the mistakes he had made, he found the best material--Tungsten, and thereby gave birth to the first bulb in the human history. Thus, a good invention or discovery often comes from a huge number of mistakes.

In addition, in the aspect of politics, mistakes could compel the development of the society. Since no one ever has the ability to predict what way is the best for a certain country, it is a must that a country, desiring for a faster development, will have some try in different ways, several of which is possible to lead the country to a wrong direction. For example, the Literature Evolution had brought China to a totally disturbance. However, after realizing the mistakes in politics, the government immediately took steps to correctly induce the attention of the public to the advancement of the economy, which is proved to be a wise decision. Therefore, through mistakes a country could learn how to pursue a better development and what is the most important for a country.

Furthermore, when it comes to the realm of environment protecting, it is the same. It is known to that when the England is pleasing about the advantages the Industry had brought, it suffered a disaster after a short time all of a sudden--acid rain, which was caused by the excess disafforestation. Facing the problem, the world started to come to the realization to protect the environment of the surroundings in which we are living. In this case, mistakes could teach people something important that has not been found before.  

Admittedly, there is no denying that mistakes is a valuable possession, people should face their mistakes in a appropriated way that could be helpful rather than being defeated by them. People who have not enough stamina, when encountering too many mistakes, are likely to lose confidence and the nerve to go on. However, they should face the mistakes in a proper way and with a good attitude, keeping in mind that mistakes are the best teacher, who desires to convey some knowledge or experience through reality. In a word, people should be thankful to the mistakes and learn from them seriously.

To sum up, mistakes are indispensable in the process of discovery or progress, just like the object and its shadow. What is more important is that people should have a better insight of the mistakes with a positive attitude.

爱是绝对不能放弃的!
You Will Never Fail Till You Stop Trying~~~


想与你相拥在雨中漫步,
想与你在幽幽月华下携手相依,
然后一起慢慢老去。

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发表于 2005-3-29 12:32:40 |只看该作者
138,Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------------------------------------------------------------

Along with the life of the human being, there will be a lot of mistakes. However, mistakes should be considered a piece of treasure that needs to be cherished, through which people can accomplish discovery or progress.

To begin with, in the field of discovery, mistakes can be of great <of> help. Common sense tells people that in the process of discovery or invention, usually, there will be little situation of absolutely satisfaction but full of difficulties and mistakes. Only the very kind of people who have the gritty stamina, steely nerve and the spirit to overcome difficulty and mistakes can make an outstanding discovery and achieve great success赞一个. A famous example involved is that the well-known inventor Edison, before finding out the fittest material for the bulb, had experimented for thousands of times with a vast number of kinds of material. Ultimately, through the mistakes he had made, he found the best material--Tungsten, and thereby gave birth toEdison give bith to the bulb? the first bulb in the human history. Thus, a good invention or discovery often comes from a huge number of mistakes.

In addition, in the aspect of politics, mistakes could compel the development of the society. Since no one ever has the ability to predict what way is the best for a certain country, it is a must that a country, desiring for a faster development, will have some try in different ways, several of which isare possible to lead the country to a wrong direction. For example, the Literature Evolution had brought China to a totally disturbance. However, after realizing the mistakes in politics, the government immediately took steps to correctly induce the attention of the public to the advancement of the economy, which is proved to be a wise decision. Therefore, through mistakes a country could learn how to pursue a better development and what is the most important for a country.

Furthermore, when it comes to the realm of environment protecting, it is the same. It is known <to> that when the England is pleasingpleased? about the advantages the Industry had brought, it suffered a disaster after a short time all of a sudden--acid rain, which was caused by the excess disafforestation. Facing the problem, the world started to come to the realization to protect the environment of the surroundings in which we are living. In this case, mistakes could teach people something important that has not been found before.

Admittedly, there is no denying that mistakes is a valuable possession, people should face their mistakes in a appropriated way that could be helpful rather than being defeated by them. People who have not enough stamina, when encountering too many mistakes, are likely to lose confidence and the nerve to go on. However, they should face the mistakes in a proper way and with a good attitude, keeping in mind that mistakes are the best teacher, who desires to convey some knowledge or experience through reality. In a word, people should be thankful to the mistakes and learn from them seriously.

To sum up, mistakes are indispensable in the process of discovery or progress, just like the object and its shadow. What is more important is that people should have a better insight of the mistakes with a positive attitude.

整体感觉整篇文章的结构比较严谨,语言也比较流畅,虽然无法给人一见便为之折服,对其观点欣然接受的精彩感觉,但也较少授人以可供攻击的漏洞。
但个人认为文章对于only没有作出有效回应,给人的感觉作者的观点即mistakes对于成功绝对是有帮助的,但是否不可或缺呢?如果是部分否定,至少应在让步中提到,因为毕竟题目中提到的是mistakes的必要与不可替代性。

以上浅见仅代表自己几点不成熟的看法,万望勿怪。如有不当,还请原谅。

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板凳
发表于 2005-3-29 12:36:12 |只看该作者
学习下……

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地板
发表于 2005-3-29 13:24:44 |只看该作者
138,Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------------------------------------------------------------

Along with the life of (the) an human being, there will be a lot of mistakes. However, mistakes should be considered a piece of treasure that needs to be cherished, through which people can accomplish (discovery) discoveries or (progress) progresses.

To begin with, in the field of discovery, mistakes can be (of great of help) very helpful. Common sense tells people that in the process of discovery or invention, usually, there will be (little situation of) rare to encounter (absolutely) an absolute satisfactions but a full of difficulties and mistakes. Only the very kind of people who have the gritty stamina, steely nerve and the spirit to overcome (difficulty) difficulties and mistakes can make an outstanding discovery and achieve a great success. A famous example (involved) is that the well-known inventor Edison, before finding out the fittest material for the bulb, had experimented for thousands of times with a vast number of kinds of (material) materials. Ultimately, through the mistakes he had made, he found the best material--Tungsten, and thereby gave the birth to the first light bulb in the human history. Thus, a (good) valuable invention or discovery often comes from a huge number of mistakes.

In addition, in the aspect of politics, mistakes could compel the development of the society. Since no one ever has the ability to predict what way is the best for a certain country, it is (a must) necessary that a country, desiring for a faster development, will have some (try) trials in different ways, several of which (is) are possible to lead the country to a wrong direction. For example, the (Literature) Culture Evolution had brought China to a (totally) total (disturbance) chaos. However, after realizing the mistakes in (politics) national policies, the government immediately took steps (to correctly) correctly to (induce) wheel the attention of the public to the advancement of the economy, which is (proved) proven to be a wise decision. Therefore, through mistakes a country could learn how to pursue a better development and what (is) was the most important for a country.

Furthermore, when it comes to the realm of (environment protecting) environmental protection, it is the same. It is known to that , when the England (is pleasing) was pleased about the advantages the Industry had brought, it suffered a disaster after a short time : all of a sudden--acid rain, which was caused by the excess disafforestation. Facing the problem, the world started to (come to) the realization (to protect the environment of the surroundings) of protecting the surrounding environment in which we are living. In this case, mistakes (could teach) taught people in England (something important) a hard lesson that (has) had not been found before.

Admittedly, there is no (denying) denial that mistakes (is) are (a) valuable (possession) possessions, people should face their mistakes in (a) an (appropriated) appropriate way that could (be helpful) help them rather than (being) be defeated by them. People who have not enough stamina, when encountering too many mistakes, are likely to lose confidence and (the) nerve to go on. However, they should face the mistakes in a proper way and with a (good) positive attitude ( , ) . (keeping) Keep in mind that mistakes are the best teacher, who desires to convey some knowledge or experience through reality. In (a word) other words, people should be thankful to the mistakes and learn from them seriously.

To sum up, mistakes are indispensable in the process of discovery or progress, just like (the) an object and its shadow. What is more important is that people should have a better insight (of the) regarding mistakes with a positive attitude.





1. This is a well-constructed article, which has the structure of a viewpoint + an example.

It is very smooth while I am reading.

2. Mechanical errors: wrong words; wrong plurals; unmatched verbal tenses; puctuations;  .....

There is a lot of room to improve.

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发表于 2005-3-29 15:16:53 |只看该作者
138,Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress.
------------------------------------------------------------

Along with the life of the human being, there will be a lot of mistakes. However, mistakes should be considered a piece of treasure that needs to be cherished, through which people can accomplish discovery or progress.开头8错哈,言简意赅哈

To begin with, in the field of discovery, mistakes can be of great of help. Common sense tells people that in the process of discovery or invention, usually, there will be little situation of absolutely satisfaction but full of difficulties and mistakes. Only the very kind of people who have the gritty stamina这个我觉得不见得了,我觉得应该是运气和天赋的话也有可能,所以only的词语值得商榷下, steely nerve and the spirit to overcome difficulty and mistakes can make an outstanding discovery and achieve great success. A famous example involved is that the well-known inventor Edison, before finding out the fittest material for the bulb, had experimented for thousands of times with a vast number of kinds of material. Ultimately, through the mistakes he had made, he found the best material--Tungsten, and thereby gave birth to the first bulb in the human history. Thus, a good invention or discovery often comes from a huge number of mistakes.8错,承接开头的风格,言简意赅,我得好好学习下,不能再罗里罗嗦了

In addition, in the aspect of politics, mistakes could compel the development of the society. Since no one ever has the ability to predict what?which way is the best for a certain country, it is a must that a country, desiring for a faster development, will have some try in different ways, several of which is possible to lead the country to a wrong direction. For example, the Literature Evolution had brought China to a totally disturbance. However, after realizing the mistakes in politics, the government immediately took steps to correctly induce the attention of the public to the advancement of the economy, which is proved to be a wise decision. Therefore, through mistakes a country could learn how to pursue a better development and what is the most important for a country.

Furthermore, when it comes to the realm of environment protecting, it is the same. It is known to that when the England is pleasing about the advantages the Industry had brought, it suffered a disaster after a short time all of a sudden--acid rain, which was caused by the excess disafforestation. Facing the problem, the world started to come to the realization to protect the environment of the surroundings in which we are living. In this case, mistakes could teach people something important that has not been found before.这个好象难以说明是错误了。如果说有的国家没有吸取别人的教训的话可能要更好写

Admittedly, there is no denying that mistakes is a valuable possession, people should face their mistakes in a appropriated way that could be helpful rather than being defeated by them.这个开头不清楚要表达什么。既然用了admittedly了,那么就有点要说相对于上面的相反的东西。所以建议在某个位置加个转折的意思可能要好点,个人意见了 People who have not enough stamina, when encountering too many mistakes, are likely to lose confidence and the nerve to go on. However, they should face the mistakes in a proper way and with a good attitude, keeping in mind that mistakes are the best teacher, who desires to convey some knowledge or experience through reality. In a word, people should be thankful to the mistakes and learn from them seriously.感觉这个body没有前面论述得好了

To sum up, mistakes are indispensable in the process of discovery or progress, just like the object and its shadow. What is more important is that people should have a better insight of the mistakes with a positive attitude.
时间太紧,来不及细看了。感觉思路很清晰,谈了很多方面,但是回头一想好象需要在某个方面深入点,这样给人的印象可能就会更深刻些了。不说了,要上课了。狂奔……

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RE: ISSUE138 同主题写作 失败是成功的妈 自我感觉还不错! 求拍 [修改]

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