issue14 急问！这种写法有没有偏题！谢谢

eddiejUID: 200626

The speaker suggests that it is necessary for everyone to read poetry, novels, mythology and other types of imaginative literature. In my opinion, I quite agree with the speaker’s view, because these imaginative arts have brought us a vivid and cozy world, and made us easier and happier after the boring work everyday. However, as we live in an advanced mundane world, we can not just live in a imaginative world or escape from reality, we have to bring home the bacon and deal with everything reasonable and realistically. In the following analysis, I would like to provide evidence and facts to substantiate my standpoint.
In the first place, most of us should remember when we were young, those mythologies, novels and fables were our close friends which made our world fantastic and colorful. For example, there were Aesop's Fable, Greek mythology, Grimms Fairy Tales and so on. We read them on the way home, in school lunch, or even in schooltime, in one word, wherever we were, whenever we wanted because of those fascinating stories. We were so attracted by the characteristics of their protagonists and the fascinating content. They had been a part of our life, not only played an important role in leading the development of our character, but brought us the foundational moral sense also. As time goes on, we are no longer enchanted by mythologies or something like cartoon stories which made our childhood a festival world, but we still like to read novels or fictions to relax our tight nerves which come from tiresome job and competitive modern society. Therefore, we can enjoy a peaceful state of mind and forget all the worldly trivia and troublesome business by these imaginative literatures no matter how old we are.
In addition, these literatures are full of fancy and illusion, which could inspire our imagination as well as intelligence. Not only could they improve our
discrimination between evil and good, but enlighten us on how to face the rubs and worries of life also. Thus we can get much elicitation from them, especially fables. They made us saner, maturer, more inventive and imaginative.
Admittedly, even the sun has its dark side, it’s improper to indulge in these imaginative world too extremely because of the reality of our living world. In order to escape from the earthly world, some people used to abandoned himself to despair and isolate himself from outside by virtue of imaginative literature. These escapist usually yearn for a utopian world where there are no competitions, no pressures, no troubles, but are full of pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction just like the perfect world which is described in some imaginative literatures. Thus it is unwise to indulge in imaginary world unrealistically because this will obstruct the progress of our society to large extent.
In addition, due to the above mention, it’s obvious that imaginative literature play an important role in our everyday life, it can be a wonderful flavoring for our invariable dry life and extend our imaginational space. Nevertheless, we live in a mundane world, we have to overcome difficulties, withstand stress, confront challenge, and provide food and clothes for our family not by imagination or illusion, but by our abilities and powers. Thus it’s irrational to indulge in imaginative world too extremely.

枫丹UID: 166492

你先把格式改一下,段段分开来.

eddiejUID: 200626

第1段：The speaker suggests that it is necessary for everyone to read poetry, novels, mythology and other types of imaginative literature. In my opinion, I quite agree with the speaker’s view, because these imaginative arts have brought us a vivid and cozy world, and made us easier and happier after the boring work everyday. However, as we live in an advanced mundane world, we can not just live in a imaginative world or escape from reality, we have to bring home the bacon and deal with everything reasonable and realistically. In the following analysis, I would like to provide evidence and facts to substantiate my standpoint.
第2段：In the first place, most of us should remember when we were young, those mythologies, novels and fables were our close friends which made our world fantastic and colorful. For example, there were Aesop's Fable, Greek mythology, Grimms Fairy Tales and so on. We read them on the way home, in school lunch, or even in schooltime, in one word, wherever we were, whenever we wanted because of those fascinating stories. We were so attracted by the characteristics of their protagonists and the fascinating content. They had been a part of our life, not only played an important role in leading the development of our character, but brought us the foundational moral sense also. As time goes on, we are no longer enchanted by mythologies or something like cartoon stories which made our childhood a festival world, but we still like to read novels or fictions to relax our tight nerves which come from tiresome job and competitive modern society. Therefore, we can enjoy a peaceful state of mind and forget all the worldly trivia and troublesome business by these imaginative literatures no matter how old we are.
第三段： In addition, these literatures are full of fancy and illusion, which could inspire our imagination as well as intelligence. Not only could they improve our
discrimination between evil and good, but enlighten us on how to face the rubs and worries of life also. Thus we can get much elicitation from them, especially fables. They made us saner, maturer, more inventive and imaginative.
第4段： Admittedly, even the sun has its dark side, it’s improper to indulge in these imaginative world too extremely because of the reality of our living world. In order to escape from the earthly world, some people used to abandoned himself to despair and isolate himself from outside by virtue of imaginative literature. These escapist usually yearn for a utopian world where there are no competitions, no pressures, no troubles, but are full of pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction just like the perfect world which is described in some imaginative literatures. Thus it is unwise to indulge in imaginary world unrealistically because this will obstruct the progress of our society to large extent.
第5段： To sum up, due to the above mention, it’s obvious that imaginative literature play an important role in our everyday life, it can be a wonderful flavoring for our invariable dry life and extend our imaginational space. Nevertheless, we live in a mundane world, we have to overcome difficulties, withstand stress, confront challenge, and provide food and clothes for our family not by imagination or illusion, but by our abilities and powers. Thus it’s irrational to indulge in imaginative world too extremely.

枫丹UID: 166492

首先.从开头看你的中心似乎在however后面,整个文章似乎又是在支持说 necessary, 而且我认为你在论述的时候应该注意把重点放在necessary上面.而不是说他的impact. 个人意见

eddiejUID: 200626

谢谢， 我应该把however 换成admittedly就好些，我确实重点是支持，不是反对