Argument187 吃鱼和精神紧张，欢迎互拍

neverflyUID: 166610

修改了一点点
关键是错误比较多，说理不是很清楚
------正文------
The argument contains several facts that are questionable. First, the argument ascribes the lower depression of our ancestors to the omega-3 fatty acids while neglecting the other components in polyunsaturated fat. In addition, the reliability and generalization of the survey on Japan and Taiwan are open to question. Without examples convincing enough, the declaring of the drastic change is exaggerated too much. Next the detailed analysis of these questionable aspects is listed in turn.[这个开头好象受新东方的影响很深哈，我以前也是这样，但是后来众多牛人说最好不要这样。他们说得也对，因为ETS给的范文开头就是很简单的。而且IMONG也说了的，ARGU的开头和结尾如果不是要凑字数的话，其实不是重要的 多谢！以后注意]

The argument bases its first supporting examples on that这个that可以不要吧 the ancestors were less likely to suffer from the depression, which should [is] due to the food with less saturated fat and more polyunsaturated fat.这句话表达得不是很清楚 However, the argument wrongly equates the polyunsaturated fat to the omega-3 fatty acids because it chooses to ignore the other components in the polyunsaturated fat that are not omega-3 acids. In fact, there are other possibilities that can explain the condition of ancestors. The food contains less saturated fat or the other components in the polyunsaturated fat except oemega-3 acids might be responsible for the decline of depression, which is not related [to] the omega-3 or fishes. [an alternative] might exist in the differences between ancestors and modern people. The ancestors might make more physical exercises, which might help to reduce the depression. [And maybe recent people bear more pressure in modern society so that they are more likely to suffer from depression]. All these possibilities serve to show that the first supporting example is not well-reasoned so that the conclusion is not on a solid base.

In addition, the second supporting example in the argument is about the people from Japan and Taiwan, which is far from a convincing survey. First, no rigid statistics has given on how much lower the rate of depression is in Japan and Taiwan and we have no idea whether the lower rate is within a range of error deviation. What's more, the argument still overlooks the differences between people in USA and in Japan and Taiwan. Noting those in USA and in Japan and Taiwan belong to different peoples and have different living habits, so the simple generalization that the same food will lead to the same health condition cannot be true since it neglect the differences among the people. [关于统计方面的argument我写起来还不顺手。Imjason发现了 ]

At last, the effect of eating fishes might be irresponsibly exaggerated in the argument. Even suppose[ing that] the omega-3 fatty acids are effective [to] release depression ( in fact, it is far to be proved), a responsible estimation [should not be made] as the statement. Since there are so many kinds of fishes and fish oils, there is a possibility that one kind [doesn’t contain much omega-3 acid but was chosen by people as the food]. In addition, some people living far away from the rivers and the sea might have difficulty to get enough fish for food. Considering the examples of medicine, there is always a long way between the estimation and the real effects for any new medicine, and no conclusion about the effects could be drawn before the real experiments are performed, which is similar as the idea of the getting fishes as food.

In conclusion, while the argument seems logical at first, it has several flaws discussed above. The author fails to provide solid proof on the effectiveness of the omega-3 acrid and overlooks the differences between the people in USA and those in the examples.[这句话我觉得在开头出现更合适些，结尾应该多出现点解决办法之类的—明白！]Without more convincing examples, we might doubt the rightness of the supposition and doubt whether the author advocates to eat fishes just for the interest of fish-catching companies.
[注意以下语法错误。还有论述中要再清楚点。---多谢imjason!]


---------------原文
Argument187   让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：50分17秒     
------题目------
The following appeared as part of an article in a health magazine.
'A new discovery warrants a drastic change in the diets of people living in the United States. Two scientists have recently suggested that omega -3 fatty acids (found in some fish and fish oils) play a key role in mental health. Our ancestors, who ate less saturated fat and more polyunsaturated fat, including omega -3 fatty acids, were much less likely to suffer from depression than we are today. Moreover, modern societies—such as those in Japan and Taiwan—that consume large quantities of fish report depression rates lower than that in the United States. Given this link between omega -3 fatty acids and depression, it is important for all people in the United States to increase their consumption of fish in order to prevent depression.'
------正文------
The argument contains several facts that are questionable. First, the argument ascribes the lower depression of our ancestors to the omega-3 fatty acids while neglecting the other components in polyunsaturated fat. In addition, the reliability and generalization of the survey on Japan and Taiwan are open to question. Without examples convincing enough, the declaring of the drastic change is exaggerated too much. Next the detailed analysis of these questionable aspects is listed in turn.

The argument bases its first supporting examples on that the ancestors ate were less likely to suffer from the depression, which should due to the food with less saturated fat and more polyunsaturated fat. However, the argument wrongly equates the polyunsaturated fat to the omega-3 fatty acids because it chooses to ignore the other components in the polyunsaturated fat that are not omega-3 acids.  In fact, there are other possibilities that can explain the condition of ancestors. The food contains less saturated fat or the other component in the polyunsaturated fat except oemega-3 acids might be responsible for the decline of depression, which is not related with the omega-3 or fishes. Another alternate might exist in the differences between ancestors and modern people. The ancestor people might make more physical exercises, which might help to reduce the depression. All these possibilities serve to show that the first supporting example is not well-reasoned so that the conclusion is not on a solid base.

In addition, the second supporting example in the argument is about the people from Japan and Taiwan, which is far from a convincing survey. First, no rigid statistics has given on how much lower the rate of depression is in Japan and Taiwan and we have no idea whether the lower rate is within a range of error deviation. What's more, the argument still overlooks the differences between people in USA and in Japan and Taiwan.  Noting those in USA and in Japan and Taiwan belong to different peoples and have different living habits, so the simple generalization that the same food will lead to the same health condition cannot be true since it neglect the differences among the people.

At last, the effect of eating fishes might be irresponsibly exaggerated in the argument. Even suppose the omega-3 fatty acids are effective for release depression ( in fact, it is far to be proved), a responsible estimation can not make such estimation of the effects.  Since there are so many kinds of fishes and fish oils, people might choose one kind without much omega-3 acid as the main food. In addition, some people living far away from the rivers and the sea might have difficulty to get enough fish for food. Considering the examples of medicine, there  is always a long way between the estimation and the real effects for any new medicine, and no conclusion about the effects could be drawn before the real experiments are performed, which is similar as the idea of the getting fishes as food.

In conclusion, while the argument seems logical at first, it has several flaws discussed above.  The author fails to provide solid proof on the effectiveness of the omega-3 acrid and overlooks the differences between the people in USA and those in the examples. Without more convincing examples, we might doubt the rightness of the supposition and doubt whether the author advocates to eat fishes just for the interest of fish-catching companies.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

做个记号,占座

imjasonUID: 176604

偶也占了

imjasonUID: 176604

------正文------
The argument contains several facts that are questionable. First, the argument ascribes the lower depression of our ancestors to the omega-3 fatty acids while neglecting the other components in polyunsaturated fat. In addition, the reliability and generalization of the survey on Japan and Taiwan are open to question. Without examples convincing enough, the declaring of the drastic change is exaggerated too much. Next the detailed analysis of these questionable aspects is listed in turn.这个开头好象受新东方的影响很深哈，我以前也是这样，但是后来众多牛人说最好不要这样。他们说得也对，因为ETS给的范文开头就是很简单的。而且IMONG也说了的，ARGU的开头和结尾如果不是要凑字数的话，其实不是重要的

The argument bases its first supporting examples on that这个that可以不要吧 the ancestors ate这个可以这样表达么，什么意思啊 were less likely to suffer from the depression, which should duedue好象没有动词的形式吧 to the food with less saturated fat and more polyunsaturated fat.这句话表达得不是很清楚 However, the argument wrongly equates the polyunsaturated fat to the omega-3 fatty acids because it chooses to这种表达没见过哦，不错！:) ignore the other components in the polyunsaturated fat that are not omega-3 acids. In fact, there are other possibilities that can explain the condition of ancestors. The food contains less saturated fat or the other components in the polyunsaturated fat except oemega-3 acids might be responsible for the decline of depression, which is not related with是be related to吧 the omega-3 or fishes. Another alternate？名词 might exist in the differences between ancestors and modern people. The ancestor people什么意思 might make more physical exercises, which might help to reduce the depression. All these possibilities serve to show that the first supporting example is not well-reasoned so that the conclusion is not on a solid base.这段话感觉意思上有些模糊，而且可能性有很多的。比如说社会变化很大，depression可能来自很多方面的等等。

In addition, the second supporting example in the argument is about the people from Japan and Taiwan, which is far from a convincing survey. First, no rigid statistics has given on how much lower the rate of depression is in Japan and Taiwan and we have no idea whether the lower rate is within a range of error deviation.呵呵，一看就知道工科出身哈 What's more, the argument still overlooks the differences between people in USA and in Japan and Taiwan. Noting those in USA and in Japan and Taiwan belong to different peoples是想表达race的意思吧？ and have different living habits, so the simple generalization that the same food will lead to the same health condition cannot be true since it neglect the differences among the people.感觉这段话好象还每说完吧

At last, the effect of eating fishes might be irresponsibly exaggerated in the argument. Even suppose这个位置要用supposing吧，而且应该是个从句了，掉了that了 the omega-3 fatty acids are effective for？to release depression ( in fact, it is far to be proved), a responsible estimation can not make such estimation of the effects这个中文味道有点重了. Since there are so many kinds of fishes and fish oils, people might choose one kind without much omega-3 acid as the main food.原文好象是在说omega有益的，这里是什么意思啊 In addition, some people living far away from the rivers and the sea might have difficulty to get enough fish for food. Considering the examples of medicine, there is always a long way between the estimation and the real effects for any new medicine, and no conclusion about the effects could be drawn before the real experiments are performed, which is similar as the idea of the getting fishes as food.这段话是想说什么可能性啊，不是很清楚的

In conclusion, while the argument seems logical at first, it has several flaws discussed above. The author fails to provide solid proof on the effectiveness of the omega-3 acrid and overlooks the differences between the people in USA and those in the examples.这句话我觉得在开头出现更合适些，结尾应该多出现点解决办法之类的 Without more convincing examples, we might doubt the rightness of the supposition and doubt whether the author advocates to eat fishes just for the interest of fish-catching companies.
注意以下语法错误。还有论述中要再清楚点。拙见了

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

郁闷呀！
费了俺半个多小时拍的东东，网断了没存盘:mad:

sailing_yfUID: 150982

顶一下，总体写的不错