同主题ISSUE7，请大家多指教，必回拍

deserteagleUID: 201968

Video documentation不能取代written records
B1：承认video documentation的便利和生动
B2：由于受到时间和空间的限制，video documentation只能表达有限的信息
B3：video documentation提供了很多的细节是不必要的
请大家多指教，必回拍：）
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
With the development of science and technology, more and more people choose video camera to record their daily lives. Although it is commonly held that the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, it is unlikely to be true that the video camera will take place of written records.
Admittedly, video documentation makes records conveniently and lively. Comparing with video camera’s convenience, written records are relatively less efficient. It is an old saying that to see is to believe. People are more likely to convince live facts rather than retailed facts. To illustrate, I will give two examples below. When we are holding a conference, we could record the locale of conference by video camera and broadcast records live on TV. Another example is about a wonderful football game such as the World Cup, people would prefer living broadcast which recorded entire processing of the game by video camera on TV to the newspaper which recorded results by writing. From the discussion and examples above, we could draw the conclusion that video camera provides us with more vivid and direct records than written records.
However, limited by time and space, video documentation provides very limited information. Toward many things happened before, we could not know them by video documentation but we could get information from written records. For the reason that video documents are more expensive and written records are more prevalent, it costs more to get video documentation than written records even though video documentation we wanted exists. Another aspect limits the information video documentation provides is space. On one hand, we have not enough spaces for all video documents because there are many events happened everyday in the whole world. On the other hand, another reason is that not all families have video camera and video records which most people from developing country have not enough money to buy a video camera. By contrast, written documents can provide systematic and in-depth information about a history object. When we learn the history of ancient Egypt, we could get much information from written records from library comparing no video document that could be found. So we can summarize that video documents provides very limited information and not as prevalent as written records.
Furthermore, video documents provide too many details that most of them are needless. On the contrary, written documents provide refined information. Generally speaking, redundant details are not be involved in written documents. Yet, video documents provide vivid information which comprises a great deal of redundancy. Sometimes we merely care more about when and where events happened, who were concerned with the events, and what people do, but less with how people arrived at results. For reasons above, it is obvious that much information provided by video documents is needless.
To sum up, all the evidence discussed in the above analysis supports my conclusion that video documents will never take place of written records despite that video camera could provide us with vivid and direct records.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

占位,晚上拍

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

Video documentation不能取代written records
B1：承认video documentation的便利和生动
B2：由于受到时间和空间的限制，video documentation只能表达有限的信息
B3：video documentation提供了很多的细节是不必要的
请大家多指教，必回拍：）
提纲8错！

------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
With the development of science and technology, more and more people choose video camera to record their daily lives.收窄了呢，还包括社会事件的记录 Although it is commonly held that the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, it is unlikely to be true that the video camera will take place of written records.

Admittedly, video documentation makes records conveniently and lively. Comparing with video camera’s convenience, written records are relatively less efficient. 开头感觉不是很爽  It is an old saying that to see is to believe. People are more likely to convince live facts rather than retailed facts.还有白纸黑字的说法呢——是俺狡辩 :p To illustrate, I will give two examples below. When we are holding a conference, we could record the locale of conference by video camera and broadcast records live on TV. Another example is about a wonderful football game such as the World Cup, people would prefer living broadcast which recorded entire processing of the game by video camera on TV to the newspaper which recorded results by writing. From the discussion and examples above, we could draw the conclusion that video camera provides us with more vivid and direct records than written records.

However, limited by time and space, video documentation provides very limited information. Toward many things happened before, we could not know them by video documentation but we could get information from written records.这句与你所说的“有限”信息有偏差 For the reason that video documents are more expensive and written records are more prevalent, it costs more to get video documentation than written records even though video documentation we wanted exists. 与你的主题句time & space不大相符。 Another aspect limits the information video documentation provides is space. On one hand, we have not enough spaces for all video documents because there are many events happened everyday in the whole world. On the other hand, another reason 跟在on the other hand后面有点别扭 is that not all families have video camera and video records which most people from developing country have not enough money to buy a video camera. By contrast, written documents can provide systematic and in-depth information about a history object. When we learn the history of ancient Egypt, we could get much information from written records from library comparing no video document that could be found. 说的是contemporary life，这个例子不好  So we can summarize that video documents provides very limited information and not as prevalent as written records.

Furthermore, video documents provide too many details that most of them are needless. On the contrary, written documents provide refined information. 写的时候废话照样也可能很多 Generally speaking, redundant details are not be involved in written documents. Yet, video documents provide vivid information which comprises a great deal of redundancy. Sometimes we merely care more about when and where events happened, who were concerned with the events, and what people do, but less with how people arrived at results. For reasons above, it is obvious that much information provided by video documents is needless.

To sum up, all the evidence discussed in the above analysis supports my conclusion that video documents will never take place of written records despite that video camera could provide us with vivid and direct records.

总的说还行，但细节和语句还可以提高。加油！

combatantUID: 200023

来了，互排

combatantUID: 200023

With the development of science and technology, more and more people choose video camera to record their daily lives. Although it is commonly held that the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, it is unlikely to be true可以去掉 that the video camera will take place of written records.

Admittedly, video documentation makes records conveniently and lively. Comparing with video camera’s convenience, written records are relatively less efficient. It is an old saying that to see is to believe. People are more likely to convince live facts rather than retailed facts. To illustrate, I will give two examples below. When we are holding a conference, we could record the locale of conference by video camera and broadcast recordsitlive on TV. Another example is about a wonderful football game such as the World Cup, people would prefer living broadcast which recorded entire processing of the game by video camera on TV to the newspaper which recordedrecord用了这么多次，该换换了啊，report results by writing. From the discussion and examples above, we could draw the conclusion that video camera provides us with more vivid and direct records than written records.

However, limited by time and space, video documentation provides very limited information. Toward many things happened before, we could not know them by video documentation but we could get information from written records偏题啊！注意讨论的是contemporary life,看题目. For the reason that video documents are more expensive and written records are more prevalent, it costs more to get video documentation than written records even though video documentation we wanted exists这里没看懂，从句有问题. Another aspect limits the information video documentation provides is space. On one hand, we have not enough spaces for all video documents because there are many events happened everyday in the whole world.这个理由很牵强哦 On the other hand, another reason is that not all families have video camera and video records which【while】 most people from developing country have not enough money to buy a video camera. By contrast, written documents can provide systematic and in-depth information about a history object. When we learn the history of ancient Egypt, we could get much information from written records from library comparing no video document that could be found. So we can summarize that video documents provides very limited information and not as prevalent as written records.
Furthermore, video documents provide too many details that most of them are needless. On the contrary, written documents provide refined information. Generally speaking, redundant details are not be involved in written documents. Yet, video documents provide vivid information which comprises a great deal of redundancy. Sometimes we merely care more about when and where events happened, who were concerned with the events, and what people do, but less with how people arrived at results. For reasons above, it is obvious that much information provided by video documents is needless.这里也有些牵强，觉得这样和前端的more vivid and direct records than written records有点自相矛盾
To sum up, all the evidence discussed in the above analysis supports my conclusion that video documents will never take place of written records despite that video camera could provide us with vivid and direct records.

如果限时写成这样也不错拉，呵呵，我要求比较低。语法有不少错误，楼主注意了。也许是追求速度造成的把。立意上有点问题，没看清题目，一个是没有集中关注contemporary life,还有一个前后有点矛盾