argument145 打呼噜容易发胖，一起讨论，拍必回！

Mars3000UID: 198477

[B]A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.[/B]

In this argument the speaker suggest that people who snore should eat less and do more excercises than the average persons to keep fit. To support his conclusion he cites a study showing that people snoring bear higher possiblity to gain weght than those not. Besides,he point out that people snoring at night suffer an interruption of breathing, which cause them less energetic to excercise, thereby being easier to gain weight. After careful consideration, we can find several fallacy of this reasoning.

First of all, the evidence given is insufficient and selective. The arguer only talk about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which the arguer believe a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, while followd little detailed information on those peopel, such as the percentage of people who break breathing at night of those snoring, and whether they have other illnesses which could casue unmormal sleep. Without these information, we will dbout wether it is snores that finally lead to a high possiblity in gaining weight. It is very likely that only a small percentage of persons who snore have sleep apnea,and in this case it is completely unnecessary for all people snoring to take particular steps different form the normal,since no evidence shows they are more dangeous in gaining weight.

What also weaken the reasoning lies in begging the question .The arguer strongly suggest that people who snores should eat less and do more excercise,while giving no evidence to build a causal relationship between whether gaining weight and how much they eat ,as well as how intensely they excercise.Here exists a possiblity that it is some other reasons that cause overweight,such as their diet,in other word,which kind of food they eat,certain illness,genes,rather than eating too much food or taking very little excercise as assumed.If this possibility could not be ruled out,people would hardly accept the above suggestion.

In addtion,the arguer give his conclusion based on a unwaranted assumption that people who snores at night suffer tiredness during the day.Has it been proved?We have sufficient reasons to doubt its credibility,for no statistacs or examples given,whereas in the contrast, some cases I know conflict with it.For example,there are four persons in my dorm,half of whom snore at night,while they are still energetic at the daytime,and seldom show less interest in excersice.This case perhapse could not illustrate that snoring is irrelevent with tiredness,but is enough to reject the inevitable relationship between them.

In conclusion, we can find the argument is not convincing as it states for insufficient information,questionable assumption and failure in building a causal relationship between overweight and having much food and lacking in less excercise. To consolidate this argument, more specific information about pople who snore should be given. To better evaluate the reasoning, the aurguer must rule out any other possibilities that cause people to gain weight.

猫猫624UID: 171232

In this argument the speaker suggest s that people who snore should eat less and do more excercises exercises than the average persons to keep fit. To support his conclusion he cites a study showing that people snoring bear higher possibility possibility to gain weght weight than those not. Besides, he point pointsout that people snoring at night suffer an interruption of breathing, which cause causes them less energetic to exercise exercise, thereby being easier to gain weight. After careful consideration, we can find several fallacy fallacies of this reasoning.

First of all, the evidence given is insufficient and selective. The arguer only talk talks about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which the arguer believe believes a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, while followd follows little detailed information on those people people ,这句话什么意思？ such as the percentage of people who break breathing at night of those snoring, and whether they have other illnesses which could casue cause unmormal abnormal  sleep. Without these information 不可数，these 不对information, we will dbout doubt wether whether it is snores that finally lead to a high possibilitypossibilities in gaining weight. It is very likely that only a small percentage of persons who snore have sleep apnea, and in this case it is completely unnecessary for all people snoring to take particular steps different form the normal,since no evidence shows they are more dangerousdangerous in gaining weight.

What also weaken the reasoning lies in begging the question .The arguer strongly suggest that people who snores snore should eat less and do more exercise exercise, while giving no evidence to build a causal relationship between whether gaining weight and how much they eat ,as well as how intensely they exercise. Here exists a possibility possibility that it is some other reasons that cause overweight, such as their diet,in other word words, which kind of food they eat, certain illness,genes,rather than eating too much food or taking very little excercise exercise as assumed. If this possibility could not be ruled out, people would hardly accept the above suggestion.

In addtion,the arguer give gives his conclusion based on a unwarrantedunwarranted assumption that people who snores at night suffer from tiredness during the day.Has it been proved?We have sufficient reasons to doubt its credibility,for no statistacs statistics or examples given, whereas in the contrast, some cases I know conflict with it. For example, there are four persons in my dorm, half of whom snore at night,while they are still energetic at the daytime, and seldom show less interest in excersice.argument举自己的例子不好吧 This case perhapse perhaps could not illustrate that snoring is irrelevant irrelevant  with to tiredness, but is enough to reject the inevitable relationship between them.

In conclusion, we can find the argument is not convincing as it states for insufficient information, questionable assumption and failure in building a causal relationship between后面是三者，这里用among overweight and having much food and lacking in less exercise exercise. To consolidate this argument, more specific information about pople people who snore should be given. To better evaluate the reasoning, the aurguer arguermust rule out any other possibilities that cause people to gain weight.
自己先修改一下
语法拼写上的错误要改正过来
呵呵

Mars3000UID: 198477

A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

In this argument the speaker suggests that people who snore should eat less and do more exercise than the average persons to keep fit. To support his conclusion he cites a study showing that people snoring bear higher possibility to gain weight than those not. Besides,he points out that people snoring at night suffer an interruption of breathing, which cause them less energetic to exercise, thereby being easier to gain weight. After careful consideration, we can find several fallacies of this reasoning.

First of all, the evidence given is insufficient and selective. The arguer only talks about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which the arguer believes a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, while followd little detailed information on those people,such as the percentage of people who break breathing at night of those snoring, and whether they have other illnesses which could casue abnormal sleep. Without this information, we will doubt whether it is snores that finally lead to a higher possibility in more weight. It is very likely that only a small percentage of persons who snore have sleep apnea,and in this case it is completely unnecessary for all people snoring to take particular steps different from the normal,since no evidence shows they are more dangerous in gaining weight.

What also weakens the reasoning lies in begging the question .The arguer strongly suggests that people who snore should eat less and do more exercise,while giving no evidence to build a causal relationship between whether gaining weight and how much they eat ,as well as how intensely they exercise.Here exists a possibility that it is some other reasons that cause overweight,such as their diet,in other word,which kind of food they eat,certain illness,genes,rather than eating too much food or taking very little exercise as assumed.If this possibility could not be ruled out,people would hardly accept the above suggestion.

In addtion,the arguer give his conclusion based on a unwarranted assumption that people who snore at night suffer tiredness during the day.Has it been proved?We have sufficient reasons to doubt its credibility,for no statistics or examples given,whereas in the contrast, some cases I know conflict with it.For example,there are four persons in my dorm,half of whom snore at night,while they are still energetic at the daytime,and seldom show less interest in exersice.This case perhas could not illustrate that snoring is irrelevent to tiredness,but is enough to reject the inevitable relationship between them.

In conclusion, we can find the argument is not convincing as it states for insufficient information,questionable assumption and failure in building a causal relationship between overweight and having much food and lacking in less exercise. To consolidate this argument, more specific information about people who snore should be given. To better evaluate the reasoning, the arguer must rule out any other possibilities that cause people to gain weight.

巨汗阿！这回人丢大了，自己骂自己了 :o
太夸张了，连我自己都不好意思了
不过拼写的的确确是我的弱项
上面有些是我没有检查，也有些确实是自己记的不够扎实
从前并不觉得，这次被猫猫指出来才发现问题这么严重
谢谢猫猫，这回一定下决心改了。 :)

Mars3000UID: 198477

The arguer only talks about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which the arguer believes a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, while followd little detailed information on those people, such as the percentage of people who break breathing at night of those snoring, and whether they have other illnesses which could casue unmormal sleep.
这句话什么意思？
这里是想说作者这里只谈到打鼾的人有sleep apnea，并认为其为导致发胖的间接原因，但却没有给出关于这些人的详细信息，比如说----
在这little detailed information is followed,所以while followed little detailed information是不是也可以

argument举自己的例子不好吧
其实这也只是我的第一次尝试，在网上流传的“GRE作文全攻略第二版新2“似乎提到了用自身经历，不过我也叫不准，大家一起讨论吧。我这里引用是想在作者没有提供证据的前提下指出一种可能性，不是想论证什么，而是提出一个反例。

failure in building a causal relationship between后面是三者，这里用among overweight and having much food and lacking in less exercise.
这里overweight是果，是having much food and lacking in less exercise exercise因，仍然是两个部分，所以不能用among
不过这样表达可能会好些failure in building a causal relationship between overweight and having much food ,as well as lacking in less exercise.

其他的照单全收了，继续讨论 :)

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 Mars3000 发布
[B]The arguer only talks about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which the arguer believes a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, while fo..

以下省略...... [/B]

The arguer only talks about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which the arguer believes a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, while followd little detailed information on those people, such as the percentage of people who break breathing at night of those snoring, and whether they have other illnesses which could casue unmormal sleep   

这么长的句子读下来会断气的.改改!!!分成两句写.
The arguer only talks about many people who snore have sleep apnea, which believed as a indirect reason to cause gaining weight, but the arguer overlooks other possible illnesses which contribute to unmormal sleep. 剩下的另来一句

argument 我认为不要举个人例子.换个说法.It is possible that some people..

这篇是典型的层层因果推断. snoring 导致sleep apnea.
sleep apnea导致tired
tired导致 less exercise
less exercise导致 gaining weight 论述的时候可以再清楚一些

你的那个改发我觉的还是不够好.
relationship between .....and .....感觉就是and前后,两者的关系

the arguer should provide clear evidence showing that the gaining weight is resulted from snoring, and the action of eating less and exercising more can contribute to losing weight for people who snore.

论述最重要的因果关系会比较清楚一点

Mars3000UID: 198477

呵呵，好的，我再仔细捉摸捉摸。
对于
[B]这篇是典型的层层因果推断. snoring 导致sleep apnea.
sleep apnea导致tired
tired导致 less exercise
less exercise导致 gaining weight 论述的时候可以再清楚一些[/B]
强烈赞同
谢