猛拍把 同主题Issue 10

wx8348UID: 185363

Issue7  这篇虽然比较好写，但还是超了２０mins. 还是请大家多多指点，各方面都欢迎，共同提高．我的人比较实际，　你帮了我，　我就会帮你．


------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

------正文------
With the unprecedented development  of human technology, numerous innovation successively sprouts, and as one of the most noted representative, the video camera has enjoyed universal popularity. In fact, it has become a more vital means of documentation than ordinary written record.

First of all, the advantage of video camera in being more accurate and convincing over the written records is conspicuous. Thanks to the advance technology, the modern video cameras are capacity to capture a certain vista, whatever in quiescence or in motion, by a clear and vivid means, as if the viewers are positioning themselves at the spot. Usually, according to the transmitted scene, the viewer can judge from the actual situation on their own, without the others' initial bias. Moreover, combining with the sound track has even elevated its characteristic of accuracy and convincing. In contrast, the written accounts is of inferiority in terms of the accuracy and assurance. As when the writers note down their observation through words and phrases, to the most exact extent as they attempt to depict the scene, they have to record it with the most appropriate they can use , choose  the most objective side they can stand, which signify the written record has somewhat mingle with the individual perspective of the writers. Moreover, the written record is futile in recording the exactly sound effect. Therefore, the video camera stands the precedence side over written records, when it comes to  being accurate and convincing.

Besides the precedence of more accurate and convincing, the video camera is also a more direct and timely documentation form compared with the written record. As you can see, the camera captures the scene and then can immediately transmit to all over the world in virtue of the  satellite, and in a fairly short time the audience sitting in front of the television can comfortably watch the event happening in another sphere. However, the manual recorders have to experience the relatively long period to make the documentation , observing, deliberating, writing down, sending. What’s more, when it arrives at the readers, the latter need to understand and imagine the words before they grasp what has really happened. Clearly, the video camera wins again in terms of the directness and efficiency.

The phenomenon that video camera take the precedence over written records for documentation can be vividly reflected in the realm of soccer. Before the advent of camera, the written record undoubtedly was the predominant document form. Nonetheless, when the camera appeared, the soccer fans commence to notice advantage of the new device e, for they can review the animated scene they had watch on the spot. As the camera develops, nowadays the live broadcast has become the first choice of the football fans if they cannot arrive the hosting place  to watch the game, simply because they can see at the first time, in a vivid form that it is the actual humans are competing not their imagined one. The function of written records has turned to be the necessary complement after the match. Resented the selection of  one way to appreciate the game, most soccer fans will choose the live broadcast without consideration and regret. As a result, at least in the realm of soccer video camera has become a more important form.

Admittedly, the video camera form still possesses several disadvantage For example , the view of each camera is relatively confined; the view without annotation is obscure to completely understand; the expense is comparatively high. But using multi-cameras , combined with the word  annotation the video camera may comprehensively observe the scene one day, and thanks to the advance technology, the expenditure of the video camera will no doubt diminish.

Therefore, provided the ascendency in the accuracy and directness, the camera has become a more important form of documentation contemporarily. Whereas, the written record cannot be disposed of , in that it is a vital complementary documentation to the video camera.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

占座，明天拍

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

你的格式还是不对呀，请改一下，ISSUE前面不要写字。

wx8348UID: 185363

哎呀．　
没看你的箴言就贴了．
抱歉．

kkytUID: 188814

我来了，回拍

kkytUID: 188814

Issue7 这篇虽然比较好写，但还是超了２０mins. 还是请大家多多指点，各方面都欢迎，共同提高．我的人比较实际，　你帮了我，　我就会帮你．[佩服佩服，楼主好强啊，写了656个字，你打字够快的！看你的文章]


------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

------正文------
With the unprecedented development of human technology, numerous innovation successively sprouts, and as one of the most noted representative[语法错， representatives] , the video camera has enjoyed universal popularity. In fact, it has become a more vital means of documentation than ordinary written record.[赞同的观点？看你怎么证明出它比written 更重要]

First of all, the advantage of video camera in being more accurate and convincing over the written records is conspicuous.[对于你的这个TS句我觉得应该限定情况，要是我们要记录个人的感情内心生活，可能通过camera 就不是最accurate的方法， 楼主以为呢？] Thanks to the advance technology, the modern video cameras are capacity to capture a certain vista, whatever in quiescence or in motion, by a clear and vivid means, as if the viewers are positioning themselves at the spot.[为虾米用 as if 难道你不在那，你怎么拍呢，自动摄相机？] Usually, according to the transmitted scene, the viewer can judge from the actual situation on their own, without the others' initial bias. Moreover, combining with the sound track has even elevated its characteristic of accuracy and convincing. In contrast, the written accounts is[are] of inferiority in terms of the accuracy and assurance. As when the writers note down their observation through words and phrases, to the most exact extent as they attempt to depict the scene, they have to record it with the most appropriate they can use , choose the most objective side they can stand, which signify the written record has somewhat mingle[混合，这是个动词啊，前面还有个has?还有个signify?] with the individual perspective of the writers. Moreover, the written record is futile in recording the exactly sound effect. Therefore, the video camera stands the precedence side over written records, when it comes to being accurate and convincing.

Besides the precedence of more accurate and convincing, the video camera is also a more direct and timely documentation form compared with the written record. As you can see, the camera captures the scene and then can immediately transmit to all over the world in[by] virtue of the satellite, and in a fairly short time the audience sitting in front of the television can comfortably watch the event happening in another sphere. However, the manual recorders have to experience the relatively long period to make the documentation, observing, deliberating, writing down, sending.[那网上internet 的直播不也是用文字的么？] What’s more, when it arrives at the readers, the latter need to understand and imagine the words before they grasp what has really happened. Clearly, the video camera wins again in terms of the directness and efficiency.

The phenomenon that video camera take the precedence over written records for documentation can be vividly reflected in the realm of soccer.[前面比较了camera 比written 好，这里有给上一段，我觉得只有这段才论证到了你的TS,来证明 more important，上面只是说了优点] Before the advent of camera, the written record undoubtedly was the predominant document form. Nonetheless, when the camera appeared, the soccer fans commence to notice advantage of the new device, for they can review the animated scene they had watch on the spot. As the camera develops, nowadays the live broadcast has become the first choice of the football fans if they cannot arrive the hosting place to watch the game, simply because they can see at the first time, in a vivid form that it is the actual humans are competing not their imagined one. The function of written records has turned to be the necessary complement after the match.[ Resented the selection of one way to appreciate the game, most soccer fans will choose the live broadcast without consideration and regret. ][这句话什么意思，难道看现场直播我们就不选择？]As a result, at least in the realm of soccer video camera has become a more important form. [不错在 足球领域确实是摄象机>written]

Admittedly, the video camera form still possesses several disadvantage For example , the view of each camera is relatively confined; The view without annotation is obscure to completely understand; the expense is comparatively high. But using multi-cameras, combined with the word annotation the video camera may comprehensively observe the scene one day, and thanks to the advance technology, the expenditure of the video camera will no doubt diminish.

Therefore, provided the ascendancy in the accuracy and directness, the camera has become a more important form of documentation contemporarily. Whereas, the written record cannot be disposed of, in that it is a vital complementary documentation to the video camera.
[你论证的角度是比较新颖 但是有些情况下是camera 不能实现的，也就根本不可能存在一个是不是更重要的问题，比如说我们分析数据，记录感情等，]
[anyway不管什么立场只要论证充分就行。但是我觉得你的论述论证不足以说明它比written更重要][你的写法是先比较后又分领域来说了，我觉得这样的写法有点乱，要分领域就都分，比如在体育领域，在文艺领域，在别的领域，不如交通啊，银行啊，都有摄象机都有广泛应用。
[个人意见，拍错了，别见意呵呵！你的语言不错]

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

------正文------
With the unprecedented development of human technology, numerous innovation successively sprouts, and as one of the most noted representative, the video camera has enjoyed universal popularity. In fact, it has become a more vital means of documentation than ordinary written record.

First of all, the advantage of video camera in being more accurate and convincing over the written records is conspicuous. Thanks to the advance technology, the modern video cameras are capacity to capture a certain vista, whatever in quiescence or in motion, by a clear and vivid means, as if the viewers are positioning themselves at the spot. Usually, according to the transmitted scene, the viewer can judge from the actual situation on their own, without the others' initial bias. Moreover, combining with the sound track has even elevated its characteristic of accuracy and convincing. In contrast, the written accounts is of inferiority in terms of the accuracy and assurance. As when the writers note down their observation through words and phrases, to the most exact extent as they attempt to depict the scene, they have to record it with the most appropriate they can use , choose the most objective side they can stand, which signify the written record has somewhat mingle with the individual perspective of the writers. Moreover, the written record is futile in recording the exactly sound effect. Therefore, the video camera stands the precedence side over written records, when it comes to being accurate and convincing.[U]不能完全令人信服呢。vedio camera也是由人控制的，也可能有选择性地拍摄，画面及声音也可造假。而written record可能通过事后人们的讨论、修订等多种方法来保证其可信度及精确性[/U] 。

Besides the precedence of more accurate and convincing, the video camera is also a more direct and timely documentation form compared with the written record. [U]如果现场没有摄录者呢？文字报道也很及时、方便[/U] 。As you can see, the camera captures the scene and then can immediately transmit to all over the world in virtue of the satellite, and in a fairly short time the audience sitting in front of the television can comfortably watch the event happening in another sphere. However, the manual recorders have to experience the relatively long period to make the documentation , observing, deliberating, writing down, sending. What’s more, when it arrives at the readers, the latter need to understand and imagine the words before they grasp what has really happened. [U]文字却给人留下想象的空间[/U] 。 Clearly, the video camera wins again in terms of the directness and efficiency.

The phenomenon that video camera take the precedence over written records for documentation can be vividly reflected in the realm of soccer. Before the advent of camera, the written record undoubtedly was the predominant document form. Nonetheless, when the camera appeared, the soccer fans commence to notice advantage of the new device e, for they can review the animated scene they had watch on the spot. As the camera develops, nowadays the live broadcast has become the first choice of the football fans if they cannot arrive the hosting place to watch the game, simply because they can see at the first time, in a vivid form that it is the actual humans are competing not their imagined one. The function of written records has turned to be the necessary complement after the match. Resented the selection of one way to appreciate the game, most soccer fans will choose the live broadcast without consideration and regret. As a result, at least in the realm of soccer video camera has become a more important form.[U]只在一个领域还不足以说明其更重要。而且，文字描述更加能让人回味。比如，我们都学过有关黄鹤楼的词句，可是当你自己身临其景或看相关录相时，多半不会有那么丰富的诗意联想或享受。[/U]

Admittedly, the video camera form still possesses several disadvantage For example , the view of each camera is relatively confined; the view without annotation is obscure to completely understand; the expense is comparatively high. But using multi-cameras , combined with the word annotation the video camera may comprehensively observe the scene one day, and thanks to the advance technology, the expenditure of the video camera will no doubt diminish.[U]由此段也可见，你支持的论点还需要更好的论述及事例来证实。[/U]  :p

Therefore, provided the ascendency in the accuracy and directness, the camera has become a more important form of documentation contemporarily. Whereas, the written record cannot be disposed of , in that it is a vital complementary documentation to the video camera.

连续学习了好几篇这个主题的，收获不小！
俺这是故意找岔儿，别见怪。只是觉得还需要更好的例子来支持你的观点。尽管超了一点时间，能写这么长也很难得。加油！

wx8348UID: 185363

谢谢二位，　大有收获