issue7 同主题9 摄象机与书面记录.有拍必回

猫猫624UID: 171232

这篇写得好困难呀.汗!严重超时!

7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important of documentation than written records.

Since the advent of video cameras, video documentation has played a vital role in people’s working and living. Therefore, some people, including the speaker, assert that video camera has become a more essential form of recording than written records, . I concede that video camera, with its direct, accurate and vivid characteristics, seems more appropriate than written records sometimes. Nevertheless, written records are of their own importance and cannot be substituted by video camera in many fields, such as in abstract and objective realms.

摄像机不容易受主观因素（个人爱好偏见，语言限制，有意的歪曲）影响，更加准确。
The information provided by video camera can be more direct and accurate compared with written records, for the reason that video documentation is much less likely influenced by the subjective adjustment. Firstly, it is believed that every person possesses his/her own preference, disposition, disinclination, and even taboo to someone provided special religious beliefs. During the process of written recording, people usually observe and document information in distinct perspectives, therefore some bias and prejudice are definitely involved in it. When people read written documentation, they are more likely to be influenced by author’s subjective emotion and position. Secondly, limited by nature of language, people nowdays, if without possessing professional knowledge, hardly understand the meanings of written records left by our ancestors , for the reason that language is an abstraction from human life , and cannot be unchanged during thousands of years.  While video camera, as an objective recorder, can document information directly and accurately, without being impacted by the constraint of recorders and languages. Besides, another conspicuous advantage of video camera not simply lies in its vulnerability to objective influence, but in its prevention from deliberately modification and revision. A case in point is video surveillance camera as an objective witness in the legal proceeding---such as robbery, violence and the like. In a word, video camera is more likely to provide more direct and precise message than written documentation.

摄像机更加生动真实
The vivid and lively characteristics of video documentation help people fully appreciate and  understand people, events and the world around us. Provided by sounds and moving images of video documentation, people could appreciate the appealing scenery in the original rainforests, the moment of winner’s rushing through the finishing line and the astonishing scene of historical events. Given only the written documentations, hardly can people comprehensively imagine the pictures listed above. Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event, the camera is superior to the written records.

书面纪录对于纪录抽象和主观的信息比摄像机更有优势。
On the other hand, written recording has its own significance in the abstract and objective realms, which cannot be substituted by video camera. In the field of education, students can better understand abstract theory and systematic knowledge through written documentation.  In the field of literature, people convey their impressions, emotions and reflections of an event or experience. In the political and legal realms, the most significant and formal policies and contracts have to be recorded in written forms. Therefore, written documentation, regarded as the most traditional method of recording, possesses its own advantages and is even superior to video camera under certain circumstances.

In the final analysis, compared with written documentation video camera can provide more accurate, convincing and vivid information, however, written recording cannot be replaced by video recording, for its unique significance in documenting abstract and subjective thoughts. With the development of science and technology, the relationship between these important forms of documentation serves as complement but not substitution from each other.

拍完后请留下连接

Mars3000UID: 198477

占座了！

枫丹UID: 166492

米来占位,今晚研究学习,明天交,猫,这次一定要帮我改改了,尤其是句子和语言,先谢过了!!!!

枫丹UID: 166492

最初由 猫猫624 发布
[B]枫丹,学习不敢这篇感觉写的不好,没什么话说.你要我拍你哪个? [/B]

同主题9 吧!!!我对我的语句是十分郁闷的了,有的时候贫乏到自己不能容忍了!!背了好多,用的时候还是不好的说!!

Mars3000UID: 198477

7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important of documentation than written records.

Since the advent of video cameras, video documentation has played a vital role in people’s working and life. Therefore, some people assert that video camera has become a more essential form of recording than written records, <just as the speaker’s claim>感觉这样表达不太舒服，如果这样写是不是会好些：some people ,as the speaker above,assert that--. I concede that video camera, with its <direct, accurate and vivid advantage>这样表达有问题advantage与direct, accurate and vivid不是修饰与被修饰的关系,可以改称being+adj或者with its advantages + 把这几个形容词都换成名词, seems more appropriate than written records sometimes. Nevertheless, written records are of their own importance and cannot be substituted by video camera in many fields, such as in abstract and objective realms.

摄像机不容易受主观因素（个人爱好偏见，语言限制，有意的歪曲）影响，更加准确。
The information provided by video camera can be more direct and accurate compared with written records, for the reason that video documentation is <much less >?likely influenced by the subjective adjustmentof谁的主观评判. Firstly, it is believed that every <people>person possess his/her own preference, disposition, <disinclination>inclination?, and even taboo to someone provided special religious beliefs. During the process of <written> recording, people usually observe and document information in distinct perspectives, therefore some bias and prejudice definitely is involved in it. When people read written documentation, they are more likely to be influenced by author’s subjective emotion and position. Secondly, limited by nature of language, which is an abstraction from human life accumulated through thousands of years and cannot be unaltered, people nowadays hardly understand the meanings of written records left by our ancestors without provided professional knowledge. Even those experts of anthropology cannot appreciate them one hundred percent accurately.<这段读起来感觉很别扭> While video camera, as an objective recorder, can document information directly and accurately, without being impacted by the constraint of recorders and languages. Besides, another conspicuous advantage of video camera not simply lies in its vulnerability to objective influence, but in its prevention from deliberately modification and revision. A case in point is video surveillance camera as an objective witness in the legal proceeding---such as robbery, violence and the like. In a word, video camera is more likely to provide more direct and precise message than written documentation. 写的时候注意了二者的对比，不错；但语言上应该更生动精炼一些

摄像机更加生动真实
The vivid and lively characteristics of video documentation help people fully understand and appreciate people, events and the world around us. <Providing>provided sounds and moving images, people could appreciate the appealing scenery in the original rainforests, the moment of winner’s rushing through the finishing line and the astonishing scene of historical events这段排比用的不错. Given only the written documentations, hardly can people comprehensively imagine the pictures listed above. Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event,+that否则有语病 the camera is superior to the written records.

书面纪录对于纪录抽象和主观的信息比摄像机更有优势。
On the other hand, written recording has its own significance in the abstract and objective realms, which cannot be substituted by video camera. In the field of education, students can better understand abstract theory and systematic knowledge through written documentation. For example, when students learn arithmetic, it is unlikely for teachers to hold one thousand apples to teach them: how much is doubled five hundred, but rather through abstract arithmetic equations多媒体教学？现在用的也很多阿. In the field of literature, people convey their impressions, emotions and reflections of an event or experience. In the political and legal realms, the most significant and formal policies and contracts have to be recorded in written forms. Therefore, written documentation, regarded as the most traditional method of recording, possesses its own advantages and is even superior to video camera under certain circumstances.

In the final analysis, compared with written documentation video camera can provide more accurate, convincing and vivid information, however, written recording cannot be replaced by video recording, for its unique significance in documenting abstract and subjective thoughts. With the development of science and technology, the relationship between these important forms of documentation serves as complement but not substitution from each other.

首先向猫猫提出抗议：
你计时写完只是第一步，你还应该自己先修改一下
至少语法上的错误要改正过来
否则别人修改起来既费时又吃力
不知我说的对不对
偶只是随便说说，千万不要生气 ;)

从文章上看这篇文章的思路并不复杂，所以逻辑上应该没什么问题
但如果各段之间的过渡如果更顺畅一些就好了
字数没得说了
语言上似乎还应该进一步提高
最后一句话，比俺写的强！ :D

Mars3000UID: 198477

回搂主：
就拍阿狗吧，选哪个都行。

ooajUID: 200299

55……偶也严重超时：P

7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important of documentation than written records.

Since the advent of video cameras, video documentation has played a vital role in people’s working and life. [嗯工作生活排斥吗～]Therefore, some people assert that video camera has become a more essential form of recording than written records, just as the speaker’s claim. I concede that video camera, with its direct, accurate and vivid advantage[advantages], seems morpropriate than written records sometimes. Nevertheless, written records are of their own importance and cannot be substituted by video camera in many fields, such as in abstract and objective realms.

摄像机不容易受主观因素（个人爱好偏见，语言限制，有意的歪曲）影响，更加准确。
The information provided by video camera can be more direct and accurate compared with written records, for the reason that video documentation is much less likely influenced by the subjective adjustment. Firstly, it is believed that every people possess his/her own preference, disposition, disinclination, and even taboo to someone provided special religious beliefs[不好意思后半句没看大懂]. During the process of written recording, people usually observe and document information in distinct perspectives, therefore some bias and prejudice [are definitely]definitely is involved in it[去掉is还有it]. When people read written documentation[documents], they are more likely to be influenced by author’s subjective emotion and position[evaluation]. Secondly, limited by nature of language, which is an abstraction from human life accumulated through thousands of years and cannot be unaltered, people nowadays hardly understand the meanings of written records left by our ancestors without provided professional knowledge. [due to the languages own flaw, hardly could people nowadays understand the meanings of some written words, which might be elusive symbols abstracted by out ancestors hundreds of thousands of years ago, without certain background knowledge.]Even those experts of anthropology cannot appreciate them one hundred percent accurately. While video camera, as an objective recorder, can document information directly and accurately, without being impacted by the constraint of recorders and languages. [好像和第一点有重复哦……]Besides, another conspicuous advantage of video camera not simply lies in its vulnerability to objective influence, but in its prevention from deliberately modification and revision. A case in point is video surveillance camera as an objective witness in the legal proceeding---such as robbery, violence and the like. In a word, video camera is more likely to provide more direct and precise message than written documentation.

摄像机更加生动真实
The vivid and lively characteristics of video documentation help people fully understand and appreciate [这个词用法可以商榷的]people, events and the world around us. Providing sounds and moving images, people could appreciate the appealing scenery in the original rainforests, the moment of winner’s rushing through the finishing line and the astonishing scene of historical events[the September 11th event] . [这个方法好，我要学]Given only the written documentations, hardly can people comprehensively imagine the pictures listed above. Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event, the camera is superior to the written records.

书面纪录对于纪录抽象和主观的信息比摄像机更有优势。
On the other hand, written recording has its own significance in the abstract and objective realms, which cannot be substituted by video camera. In the field of education, students can better understand abstract theory and systematic knowledge through written documentation. [但教育也需要感性的方面，and anyway how about long-distance education]For example, when students learn arithmetic, it is unlikely for teachers to hold one thousand apples to teach them: how much is doubled five hundred[偶感觉这和video无关], but rather through abstract arithmetic equations. In the field of literature, people convey their impressions, emotions and reflections of an event or experience. In the political and legal realms, the most significant and formal policies and contracts have to be recorded in written forms. Therefore, written documentation, regarded as the most traditional method of recording, possesses its own advantages and is even superior to video camera under certain circumstances.

In the final analysis, compared with written documentation video camera can provide more accurate, convincing and vivid information, however, written recording cannot be replaced by video recording, [[偶觉得最好不要说替代，因为题目并没有这么提]for its unique significance in documenting abstract and subjective thoughts. With the development of science and technology, the relationship between these important forms of documentation serves as complement but not substitution from each other.

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 Mars3000 发布
[B]7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important of documentation than written record..

以下省略...... [/B]

<just as the speaker’s claim>感觉这样表达不太舒服，如果这样写是不是会好些：some people ,as the speaker above,assert that--
可以改成,some people, including the speaker. assert that........
你改的成了上面的作者.应该是上面作者的观点


<direct, accurate and vivid advantage>这样表达有问题advantage与direct, accurate and vivid不是修饰与被修饰的关系,可以改称being+adj或者with its advantages + 把这几个形容词都换成名词,
问题提的不错,把advantage 改成features 或characteristics

The information provided by video camera can be more direct and accurate compared with written records, for the reason that video documentation is <much less >?likely influenced by the subjective adjustmentof谁的主观评判.
be much less likely 不容易.......less likely 比较级,用much 修饰有问题吗?
不好意思,后半句直接抄了句书上提纲.被你看出两处问题

<disinclination>inclination
inclination 倾向,disinclination是不喜好.我用disinclination 是和后面的tacoo禁忌有点程度关系, 用inclination 会和前面preference重复

Secondly, limited by nature of language, which is an abstraction from human life accumulated through thousands of years and cannot be unaltered, people nowadays hardly understand the meanings of written records left by our ancestors without provided professional knowledge. Even those experts of anthropology cannot appreciate them one hundred percent accurately.<这段读起来感觉很别扭>

Secondly, limited by nature of language, people nowdays, if without possessing professional knowledge, hardly understand the meanings of written records left by our ancestors , for the reason that language is an abstraction from human life , and cannot be unchanged during thousands of years.

Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event,+that否则有语病 the camera is superior to the written records.
不用加that,   whenever 是连词.例如,when sun rises, the dog goes to sleep. 中间不要that

教育的例子举的不好,意见接受

你还应该自己先修改一下
至少语法上的错误要改正过来
否则别人修改起来既费时又吃力
不知我说的对不对
sorry,我已经修改过了,是不是还有很多语法错误.水平有限,见谅!

猫猫624UID: 171232

QUOTEi最初由 ooaj 发布/i
B55……偶也严重超时：P

7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important of document..

以下省略...... /B/QUOTE
Since the advent of video cameras, video documentation has played a vital role in people’s working and life. 嗯工作生活排斥吗～
狭义的生活不包括工作吧
,可能有点汉语影响 ,改成working and living

even taboo to someone provided special religious beliefs不好意思后半句没看大懂.

甚至是一些具有宗教信仰人的禁忌

therefore some bias and prejudice are definitelydefinitely is involved in it去掉is还有it.

把definitely 和is 调换一下会好一点
is 和it 不能去,therefore后面必须是句子

When people read written documentationdocuments

documents专指文件.documentation指记录,和records 同义

In the field of education, students can better understand abstract theory and systematic knowledge through written documentation. 但教育也需要感性的方面，and anyway how about long-distance education

这里只想提教育中学习抽象概念时written records is suporior
.并不想提感性方面.个人觉的感性方面video camera 可能更有优势,在这里不合适.

appreciate 在这里做欣赏,领会.面对lively and vivid records,个人认为这个词可以

however, written recording cannot be replaced by video recording, 偶觉得最好不要说替代，因为题目并没有这么提
个人觉的可以提,题目说到more important, issue我认为可以适当引申.况且没有大段去论述替代问题,不算偏题!

谢谢拍砖,其他意见接受.

Mars3000UID: 198477

看得出来猫猫这下认真了，恐怕事了  :o

be much less likely 不容易.......less likely 比较级,用much 修饰有问题吗?
这个我拿不准，当然修饰比较级我还是能看出来的，不过记得过去好像被人指出过有问题。当然楼主若有把握我也无语了。

by the subjective adjustment <of谁的主观评判>
提纲吗？那当真看走眼了，不过还是坚持加上好些。

Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event,+that否则有语病 the camera is superior to the written records.
whenever确实可作连词，但这里给人的感觉更像副词，也许我没能理解上去，能说一下中文意思吗？

sorry,我已经修改过了,是不是还有很多语法错误.水平有限,见谅!
看来火气不小阿，我不是说了随便说说，如不对尚请原谅吗
看来必须认错了 :)

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 Mars3000 发布
[B]看得出来猫猫这下认真了，恐怕事了  :o

be much less likely 不容易.......less likely 比较级,用much 修饰有问题吗?
这个我拿不准，当然修饰..

以下省略...... [/B]

呵呵,没什么的.我怎么会生气呢?我真的很开心.狠狠拍.越狠我就拍你越狠.难道还要等ets来拍我们???哈哈 :D

be much less likely 肯定没有问题,如果你相信我的话

by the subjective adjustment <of谁的主观评判>
开头懒了一下,抄了个提纲也没怎么想.我再看看.也许你的好.

whenever, 副词连词都可以,,做连词是无论什么时候,和wherever
however, 相似.that 就免了在这里. :D

没有什么火啦,只是自己一向比较注意语法错误的.今天这篇写的太吃力了.没有仔细检查.不足之处,向你赔礼!!! :p  :

太晚了,刚才粗看了一下你的.明天等的接招吧 :mad:

Mars3000UID: 198477

不生气就好，大家都是友吗，来这里就是为了互相帮助。 :)
[B]Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event, the camera is superior to the written records. [/B]  
这句话能麻烦你翻译一下吗？你看它的逻辑关系似乎有问题。

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

凑个热闹!
学习一下。

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 Mars3000 发布
[B]不生气就好，大家都是友吗，来这里就是为了互相帮助。 :)
[B]Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event, the camera is superior to the written records.
这句话能麻烦你翻译一下吗？你看它的逻辑关系似乎有问题

[..


以下省略...... [/B]

每当图象和声音对描述一件事十分重要时,摄象机优于书面文字.

neverflyUID: 166610

[QUOTE]最初由 猫猫624 发布
7 The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important of documentation than written records.

Since the advent of video cameras, video documentation has played a vital role in people’s working and living. Therefore, some people, including the speaker, assert that video camera has become a more essential form of recording than written records,  I concede that video camera, with its direct, accurate and vivid characteristics, seems more appropriate than written records sometimes. Nevertheless, written records are of their own importance and cannot be substituted by video camera in many fields, such as in abstract and objective realms.开头的逻辑性很强，佩服

摄像机不容易受主观因素（个人爱好偏见，语言限制，有意的歪曲）影响，更加准确。
The information provided by video camera can be more direct and accurate compared with written records, for the reason that video documentation is much less likely influenced by the subjective adjustment. Firstly, it is believed that every person possesses his/her own preference, disposition, disinclination, and even taboo to someone provided special religious beliefs. During the process of written recording, people usually observe and document information in distinct perspectives, therefore some bias and prejudice are definitely involved in it. When people read written documentation, they are more likely to be influenced by author’s subjective emotion and position. Secondly, limited by nature of language, people nowdays, if without possessing professional knowledge, hardly understand the meanings of written records left by our ancestors , for the reason that language is an abstraction from human life , and cannot be unchanged during thousands of years. While video camera, as an objective recorder, can document information directly and accurately, without being impacted by the constraint of recorders and languages. Besides, another conspicuous advantage of video camera not simply lies in its vulnerability to objective influence, but in its prevention from deliberately modification and revision. A case in point is video surveillance camera as an objective witness in the legal proceeding---such as robbery, violence and the like. In a word, video camera is more likely to provide more direct and precise message than written documentation.

摄像机更加生动真实
The vivid and lively characteristics of video documentation help people fully appreciate and understand people, events and the world around us. Provided by sounds and moving images of video documentation, people could appreciate the appealing scenery in the original rainforests, the moment of winner’s rushing through the finishing line and the astonishing scene of historical events. Given only the written documentations, hardly can people comprehensively imagine the pictures listed above. Whenever, images and sounds are central to an event, the camera is superior to the written records. 这段短了些。其实我觉得这段比上段要好写，毕竟video也可能参杂进摄影师的主观因素，

书面纪录对于纪录抽象和主观的信息比摄像机更有优势。
On the other hand, written recording has its own significance in the abstract and objective realms, which cannot be substituted by video camera. In the field of education, students can better understand abstract theory and systematic knowledge through written documentation. In the field of literature, people convey their impressions, emotions and reflections of an event or experience. In the political and legal realms, the most significant and formal policies and contracts have to be recorded in written forms. Therefore, written documentation, regarded as the most traditional method of recording, possesses its own advantages and is even superior to video camera under certain circumstances. 立意很好啊，但是只是分开举例子，略显展开的不够。要是有点分析就更好了。btw, 这些realm和题目中的contemporary life 有没有矛盾？

In the final analysis, compared with written documentation video camera can provide more accurate, convincing and vivid information, however, written recording cannot be replaced by video recording, for its unique significance in documenting abstract and subjective thoughts. With the development of science and technology, the relationship between these important forms of documentation serves as complement but not substitution from each other. 主语是relationship，怎么能substitute呢？