issue7同主题 来者必拍

枫丹UID: 166492

Issue7   让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分7秒     594 words
从2005年2月29日6时5分到2005年2月29日6时45分
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
提纲：
平衡观点
video camera 和written records 都是必须的。
1，        video camera 是一种比笔录更为准确的记录方式， 更多的被用法庭上的证据
2，        video camera 更为生动和便于人们理解，跨越语言和文化的界限
3，        但是video camera并不能满足记录的所有要求，当人们要记录和研究心理活动的时候，更多的是求助于书面的记录。
       
In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool  become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replace the conventional tool-written record.

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle expression of eyes and particular colors or ships of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in it may be retorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as bank, supermarket, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound information, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately. What written record provides may be just dull words or sketch of two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word.  

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dose not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be saw and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merit of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is  studying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously. And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.

In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.

nora0020UID: 104886

提纲：
平衡观点
video camera 和written records 都是必须的。
1， video camera 是一种比笔录更为准确的记录方式， 更多的被用法庭上的证据
2， video camera 更为生动和便于人们理解，跨越语言和文化的界限
3， 但是video camera并不能满足记录的所有要求，当人们要记录和研究心理活动的时候，更多的是求助于书面的记录。

In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution【是不是revolution啊】 of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replace the conventional tool-written record. 【开头不错】

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle expression of eyes and particular colors or ships of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it【comparing with it就好了吧】, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in it may be retorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation.【牵强video camera也会有这种情况，不要说得很绝对】 To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as bank, supermarket, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.【总的来说思路还比较清晰】

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound information, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately. What written record provides may be just dull words or sketch of two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word【好像不是这么说的】.

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dose not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be saw and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merit of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is studying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors.【古时候也就只有这一种记录方法吧】 It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously. And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.【说了两点，没有很具体】

In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.
文章很不错，思路很清晰，比我的好多了

猫猫624UID: 171232

In today's world, the advancement of technology brings out about the involution 是不是revolution of the method of documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool can be far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can 前有does,  can不要 bring unprecedented involution n? and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases under some circumstances it can not replace the conventional tool-written record.

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event in an event你想表达什么意思 –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle expression of eyes and particular colors or ships ?船shapesof other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it compared with it, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in it may be retorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. Compared with video documentation, written records are more likely to be distorted because of witness’ inaccurate memory and recorder’s biased opinion, either of which can weaken the credibility of documentation To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence.一句话里不要出现这么多逗号，显得不连贯，况且你得句子并不长 And in most public places, such as bank, supermarket, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and can be perceived easily by majority people general populace. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound information, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sound and picture and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer receive information immediately. What written record provides may be just dull words or sketch of two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written record in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word.

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dose not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its' use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be saw and listened.开头主题句要简练limited by time and space, video camera cannot exceed conventional written record in some aspects, in spite of its powerful and prevailing function When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merit of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is studying study the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, for in the dairy, one recorded all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously.没有论证清除，为什么written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously。可以说video只能提供表面现象，written record can reflect their profound thoughts and ideas And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.

In sum, the advance of technology furnish furnishes people with the effective tool to get documentation record more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.

提纲列的没什么问题，和我的也挺像。文章的句子有些比较别扭，一句话要表达的意思不要太多，逻辑关系也不要太多，而且每句重点要符合行文流畅

千翼UID: 199721

In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replacebe substituded by. the conventional tool-written records..

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle expression of eyes and particular colors or ships of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively.这句话重复了吧. In comparison with it, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in it may be retorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas这个词不太对吧，议程？., either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. To illustrate, because ofowing to. the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as bank, supermarket, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imaginationvisual更好吧. and sound information, eitherboth. of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures andhe or she,captured by….  know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately. What written record provides may be just dull words or sketch of two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no words..

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dose not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be saw and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merit of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is studying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously. And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.historian的例子不太好，以前没有vedio cemera,没什么可比性，换个现代的例子.

In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.

thminUID: 192642

In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can does和can连用？ bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replace the conventional tool-written record.

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which makes the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle好词,学习中… expression of eyes and particular colors or shipsships? of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it这个表达一般用在句中,用在句首不好,你可以说compared with it或on the contrary, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in itwritten in it显得有点多余 may be retorted感觉应该是distorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas这两个并列前后不太一致,前面是memory后面是recorder,建议修改一下,而且对agenda的意思我也不太明白,望赐教, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as banks, supermarkets, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and这两层关系有因果关系,你可以换成therefore/thus can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound informationimagination and sound information指什么呢,而且我觉得如果有imagination的话又好像与你前面video更objective的论点相矛盾了, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately.怎么又着眼于及时性了呢,逻辑有点混乱啊 What written record provides may be just dull words这里有点过了 or sketch of two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word. 把这段看完,觉得你的TS没有很好地把全段的意思概括,要修改.而且这一段说了好几层意思,你可以用一些信号词一,二,三来把它们区别开,不然会觉得有点混乱

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dosedoes not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be sawseen and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merits of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is historians arestudying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter晕,枫丹你要好好注意一下文章里的单复数问题 of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously不是more clearly and obviously,而是能反映内心深处的思想和情感,就像你前面说的mental activity. 总之我觉得你说得不够清楚. And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.

In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.

语言方面:在句子的表达上还不够简练和准确,另外就是单复数的小错误比较多
逻辑方面:除了B2那一段写得有点混乱,别的都还挺好的.

枫丹UID: 166492

感谢大家,我目前正在回拍中,回来再讨论~~~~~~~

枫丹UID: 166492

to thmin: 说的很对,呵呵,我改了一下你看好不好
I the fact written in itwritten in it显得有点多余 may be retorted感觉应该是distorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas这两个并列前后不太一致,前面是memory后面是recorder,建议修改一下,而且对agenda的意思我也不太明白,望赐教,
the fact may be distorted due to the inaccurate memory of witness and biased opinion of recorder.这样可以吗？
What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and这两层关系有因果关系,你可以换成therefore/thus can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound informationimagination and sound information指什么呢,而且我觉得如果有imagination的话又好像与你前面video更objective的论点相矛盾了,
把这段看完,觉得你的TS没有很好地把全段的意思概括,要修改.而且这一段说了好几层意思,你可以用一些信号词一,二,三来把它们区别开,不然会觉得有点混乱

有道理
What is more, the documentation recorded by video camera is more vivid and direct, therefore can be understood and appreciated easily by a majority of people. Firstly,  through image and sound, the video cameras exposes people to lively /living scene,  这样呢？
In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately.怎么又着眼于及时性了呢,逻辑有点混乱啊
其实我中间跳了一步， 想说中间要经过思考， in contrast, it seems that written record can not offer this kind of information as impressively as dose the camera video.
since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously不是more clearly and obviously,而是能反映内心深处的思想和情感,就像你前面说的mental activity. 总之我觉得你说得不够清楚.
It is true that in some situations, these thoughts can be revealed by their  videotaped action, but only trough their writing record can their spirits , emotions ,encourages be entirely expressed. 是不是还别扭？

枫丹UID: 166492

to : 千翼
这个例子我是现想的,你有没有好的建议?

枫丹UID: 166492

to  猫
多谢,给的建议很好!!多谢!
Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event in an event你想表达什么意思 –event 是想说被记录的事件， The video camera could record any detail of the world-这样说呢？？？

枫丹UID: 166492

to  nora0020
thankyou
From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word【好像不是这么说的】.

具体我也不清楚,还要再查

imjasonUID: 176604

In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does cancan去掉了 bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replace the conventional tool-written record.

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle expression of eyes and particular colors or ships of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in it may be retorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as bank, supermarket, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.这段不错哈。用做法律这点我也想到了，但是没有你用得这么灵活了，学习……

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound information, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately. What written record provides may be just dull words or sketch of two dimensions.强！ Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word.嘿嘿，我也写到了这点。不过我都是一笔带过了

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dose not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be saw and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merit of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is studying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously. And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.

In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.
你这篇文章很不错哈。进步是大大的了。我半天都想不出来写什么。学习啊……

coweiliangUID: 195905

呵呵imjason介绍来的，也给你看看

coweiliangUID: 195905

Issue7 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：45分7秒 594 words
从2005年2月29日6时5分到2005年2月29日6时45分
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
提纲：
平衡观点
video camera 和written records 都是必须的。
1， video camera 是一种比笔录更为准确的记录方式， 更多的被用法庭上的证据
2， video camera 更为生动和便于人们理解，跨越语言和文化的界限
3， 但是video camera并不能满足记录的所有要求，当人们要记录和研究心理活动的时候，更多的是求助于书面的记录。

In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera;可能是我个人爱好，每次看到in today’s world就觉得不顺，建议改一下：obviously, the current advancement ….. however, can this new type of recording tool become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can does can (???)bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replace the conventional tool-written record.

Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information 嗯，我觉得accurate用得不够恰当，sufficient如何？ to people, which make the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle expression of eyes and particular colors or ships of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in it may be retorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as bank, supermarket, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.用在法庭作为证据这个例子不太好，在与文字的证据没有直接的可比性：他们同样是合法的证据。或者可以从这个角度来说：笔录的效率,速度，不如video tape 的高

What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and can be perceived easily by majority 这是名词啊 people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound information, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately. What written record provides may be just dull words or sketch sketchesof two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word.

However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dose not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be saw and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merit of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is studying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously. 为什么？And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.
历史学家研究的，过去的不就主要是纸笔的记录么，因为以前的都不普遍啊，所以你这个例子就没有说服力了
In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.
呵呵其实总的来说文章还挺流畅的，指出的几点建议供你参考吧

枫丹UID: 166492

最初由 imjason 发布
[B]In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recor..

以下省略...... [/B]

imjason谢谢拍砖,你总是最给我鼓励的.加油!!
我明天给你改好不好?今天改的好累啊!!!

枫丹UID: 166492

最初由 coweiliang 发布
[B]Issue7 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：45分7秒 594 words
从2005年2月29日6时5分到2005年2月29日6时45分
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以下省略...... [/B]

说的很对,的确历史学家的不太可信, 我再考虑一下.