- 最后登录
- 2008-6-25
- 在线时间
- 0 小时
- 寄托币
- 451
- 声望
- 0
- 注册时间
- 2005-1-18
- 阅读权限
- 20
- 帖子
- 1
- 精华
- 0
- 积分
- 303
- UID
- 192642
 
- 声望
- 0
- 寄托币
- 451
- 注册时间
- 2005-1-18
- 精华
- 0
- 帖子
- 1
|
In today's world, the advancement of technology brings about the involution of the method in documentation-the video camera; however, can this new type of recording tool become far more important than written records, and therefore replaces written method? In my point of view, the video camera does can does和can连用? bring unprecedented involution and change traditional recording method, but in certain cases it can not replace the conventional tool-written record.
Firstly, the video camera provides more accurate information to people, which makes the documentation more credible and convincing than written records. The video camera could record almost every detail in an event –people’s behavior, language, even a subtle好词,学习中… expression of eyes and particular colors or shipsships? of other things. All of these could be recorded by video camera objectively. In comparison with it这个表达一般用在句中,用在句首不好,你可以说compared with it或on the contrary, the written record, though may also record the process of an event; the fact written in itwritten in it显得有点多余 may be retorted感觉应该是distorted because of the inaccurate memory of the witness or the fallible recorder with biased opinion and agendas这两个并列前后不太一致,前面是memory后面是recorder,建议修改一下,而且对agenda的意思我也不太明白,望赐教, either of which will weaken the credibility of documentation. To illustrate, because of the nature of video camera, in court, the documentation recorded by video camera, if available, is considered as the most credible evidence. And in most public places, such as banks, supermarkets, video camera is used as a surveillant method to videotape crime.
What is more, the documentation recorded by the video camera is more vivid and这两层关系有因果关系,你可以换成therefore/thus can be perceived easily by majority people. In order to make record of a event or a process, the video camera resorts to imagination and sound informationimagination and sound information指什么呢,而且我觉得如果有imagination的话又好像与你前面video更objective的论点相矛盾了, either of which can be felt by people directly and effectively. So when one is watching a record of video camera, he/she will be captured easily by those sounds and pictures and know about the cause and consequence of these events in time. In contrast, it is hard for written record to offer information immediately.怎么又着眼于及时性了呢,逻辑有点混乱啊 What written record provides may be just dull words这里有点过了 or sketch of two dimensions. Moreover, the information provided by video camera may be not limited by the barrier of language or other factors of culture, so those who have never learned English can perceive English documentation of video camera more easily than that of written record in English. From this point, video camera is more effective than written records in providing the direct information to even the people knowing no word. 把这段看完,觉得你的TS没有很好地把全段的意思概括,要修改.而且这一段说了好几层意思,你可以用一些信号词一,二,三来把它们区别开,不然会觉得有点混乱
However, the powerful/prevailing function of video cameras dosedoes not indicate that it could exceed conventional written record in any aspect, for its use is generally limited to the record of the information that can be sawseen and listened. When it comes to the recording of one's mental activity, merits of the written record is far more than that of video camera. For example, when historian is historians arestudying the history of elite, they consider the diary or letter晕,枫丹你要好好注意一下文章里的单复数问题 of these influential people as more valuable documentation than other action recorded, since in the dairy, one records all of his /her changes of thought and emotion which may explain their behaviors. It is true that in some cases these thoughts can be presented by their action recorded by video camera or other forms, but only these written records can reflect them more clearly and obviously不是more clearly and obviously,而是能反映内心深处的思想和情感,就像你前面说的mental activity. 总之我觉得你说得不够清楚. And only through the written record of themselves can their real thoughts be fully interpreted by historian. In this view, written record is superior to video camera when it comes to the record of sense and emotions.
In sum, the advance of technology furnish people with the effective tool to get documentation more accurately and vividly than traditional written record, but it can not fulfill all needs of people to record their activity and thought, so both of these forms are needed to make documentations accurately and perceivably.
语言方面:在句子的表达上还不够简练和准确,另外就是单复数的小错误比较多
逻辑方面:除了B2那一段写得有点混乱,别的都还挺好的. |
|