Issue7 第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

sailing_yfUID: 150982

Issue7  第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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    562 words
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The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
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What the modern people inherited from the history is the virtue and treasure in mental and physical. Since the invention of video camera, historians could additionally use another way to record the history. Some of them preferred to replace the written documentary with purely video camera. As far as I am concerned, despite the assorted effusions to the contrary that more vivid and accurate pictures provided by camera could better record the fact in contemporary, I still insist to use written documentation rather than purely video camera to record the life.

First of all, reoccurring the past is the apparently tremendous advantage to audience and the abundant data provided by video will vividly render the people sense the truth. Because the data supplied by camera simply describe the situation without any personal imagination, which is like a dish need everyone to evaluate after sample. And relying in the advanced technology, the public will completely pay more attention to the colorful picture and detailed plot on TV. What used to be incomprehensive and hard to believe are easily reappeared in TV to educate the people. We need not to look further to find example. The picture and plots provided by reporter in war could tell the solider what a war is as well as inform the public how cruel the war is. In addition, a plot of living of a tiger in jungle might clearly maintain us the real principle of living under the pressure. In short, this new technology could enrich the traditional way of recording by adding some vivid and accurate information.

By contrast, the perspective of camera is too simple to provide adequate evidence and data for us to analyze and find the reasons between cause and result. Only focus on the proceed of fact did people not derivate any value information from the fact. What the readers want to know is the causal relationship between the surface and bottom. On the contrary, the books and newspapers adapt the depth analysis that explicitly demonstrates the real reason in it. Another point in case is the famous newspaper. Like Times, Washington Daily, they all invited the erudite and person who involved to separate the whole issue like Iraq war, nuclear bomb, interest rate of RMB in China and quarrels between supermarket which is the hot topic and deserve the public to concern. Thus the readers make sense the enigmas in life and clearly know the historical conflicts between nations. The picture published in newspaper is only to attract the audiences and cite for the purpose of the article.

Furthermore, the plot of a camera and a picture could cheat our eyes. Without the detailed explanation, a method, called montage, might easily change the theme of a fact and logically produce an opposite meaning. And if any one inspire any picture with prejudice then no matter what evidence provided by written documentary, person will always kept the pre-exited in head. And the picture could induce people to think the reason in it and find the relationship between cause and result.

In a conclusion, only when the written documentation matches with the video camera, could we achieve a better effective way to recorded the facts and enrich the data. Before the video camera could find a way to educate people to think, written documentation still dominate the way for historians to record.

有点乱

thminUID: 192642

回拍,呵呵

What the modern people inherited from the history is the virtue and treasure in mental and physical 就这样结束了?好像少个名词吧. Since the invention of video camera, historians could additionally use another way to record the history. Some of them preferred to replace the written documentary with purely video camera.没有吧,我怎么都没有听说过.开头段还是不要把话说这么绝,说有人持这样的观点比较好. As far as I am concerned, despite the assorted effusions to the contrary that more vivid and accurate pictures provided by camera could better record the fact in contemporary,晕,好长,despite后面的内容没看明白,请赐教! I still insist to use written documentation rather than purely video camera to record the life.

First of all, reoccurring the past is the apparently tremendous advantage to audience and the abundant data数据? provided by video will vividly render the people sense the truth. Because the data supplied by camera simply describe the situation without any personal imagination, which is like a dish need everyone to evaluate after sample我觉得这个比喻不是很贴切啊. And relying inon the advanced technology, the public will completely pay more attention to the colorful picture and detailed plot on TV. What used to be incomprehensive and hard to believe are easily reappeared in TV to educate the people.怎么从记录的讨论又跑到了教育功能上了 We need not to look further to find example. The picture and plots provided by reporter in war could tell the solider what a war is对一个soldier来说,不用让别人告诉他什么是战争吧 as well as inform the public how cruel the war is. In addition, a plot of living of a tiger in jungle might clearly maintain us the real principle of living under the pressure. In short, this new technology could enrich the traditional way of recording by adding some vivid and accurate information.这段的论证不是很紧凑,TS不是很能概括你要说的意思,另外,你的文章结构是第一段让步,后两段论证自己观点,所以这段开头的信号词最好是有让步语气的.个人意见啦

By contrast, the perspective of camera is too simple to provide adequate evidence and data for us to analyze and find the reasons between cause and result. Only focus on the proceed process? of fact did people not derivate any value information from the fact. 这句也不是很明白啊What the readers want to know is the causal relationship between the surface and bottom. On the contrary, the books and newspapers adapt adapt? the depth analysis that explicitly demonstrates the real reason in it. Another point in case case in point is the famous newspaper. Like不用另起一句吧 Times, Washington Daily, they all invited the erudite and person who involved to separate the whole issue like Iraq war, nuclear bomb, interest rate of RMB in China and quarrels between supermarket which is the hot topic and deserve the public to concern.这个例子不太好,没有紧扣”记录”这一点,你说的撰写文章只是针对于深刻分析而言,已经不是a form of documentation了 Thus the readers make sense the enigmas in life and clearly know the historical conflicts between nations. The picture published in newspaper is only to attract the audiences and cite for the purpose of the article.

Furthermore, the plot of a camera and a picture could cheat our eyes. Without the detailed explanation, a method, called montage, might easily change the theme of a fact and logically produce an opposite meaning. And if any one inspires any picture with prejudice then no matter what evidence provided by written documentary, person will always这种词太绝对,应该少用 kept the pre-exited in head. And the picture could induce people to think the reason in it and find the relationship between cause and result.最后这句怎么说起与TS相反的意思来了?

In a conclusion, only when the written documentation matches with the video camera, could we achieve a better effective way to recorded the facts and enrich the data.好像又提出了新论点 Before the video camera could find a way to educate people to think, written documentation still dominate the way for historians to record.

楼主的文章B3有点乱,我没看太懂;B1相对论证得比较好,就是结构有点松.另外个别的例子可能还需要再反复考虑一下.别的我也提不出来什么了.

sailing_yfUID: 150982

despite后面的内容没看明白,请赐教
despite the assorted effusions to the contrary这句是从填空上抄的，
that more vivid and accurate pictures provided by camera could better record the fact in contemporary解释the contrary
谢谢批评