argument67 限时烂文，砍啦啊砍啦啊！～～

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

Argument67  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：吱吱     共用时间：30分2秒     429words/466 words after revised
从2005年3月1日19时34分到2005年3月1日20时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a newspaper serving the villages of Castorville and Polluxton.
'Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes. To save money and improve service, the two villages recently merged their once separate garbage collection departments into a single department located in Castorville, and the new department has reported few complaints about its service. Last year the library in Polluxton had 20 percent fewer users than during the previous year. It follows that we should now further economize and improve service, as we did with garbage collection, by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville to serve both villages.'
------正文------
In this letter, the author concludes that by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville the economic and service could by improved. However, this argument is based on unsubstantiated assumptions, which undermine the argument.

For a start, few complain about the service of the merged garbage collections does not necessarily means that the service of it has been vastly improved. It is possible that there are not much complains about the separated garbage collections before merged. It also might be the case that the problems of merged garbage collections have not been found yet in such a short time. Perhaps there will be more complains about the merged garbage collections. Without providing us the detailed information of the service before the garbage collections were merged and the long time management of merged garbage collection, the author could not make a fast conclusion that the service is improved.

Next, even if the mergence of the garbage collections has been proved to be beneficial to the service and economic, it might not work in library. Although it is reported users of library in Polluxton reduced by 20 percent, this phenomenon does not necessarily means that the service of library in Polluxton is bad. Perhaps it is the convenient instruments of searching information such as internet that lead to the reduction of users in library. Different from the garbage collection, the library is more complex project to manage and government should take comprehensive considerations of the reduction of users and should not arbitrary attributes the reasons to the service of the library.

Finally, suppose that we have to take some method to solve the problems of library in Polluxton in order to improve the service, the author should consider which library should be closed first but not arbitrarily chose the library in Polluxton. There is no evidence about complains about service of the library in Castorville and how many users in it. It is possible that the reduction of users of library in Castorville is more serious than that in Polluxton. If so, choosing library in Castorville might result in more complains and lead to the decrease of economic. It also might be the case that the library in Castorville is too far away from the place where villagers of Polluxton live. Thus only using the library in Castorville will bring people a lot of troubles to back and forth. Unless the author has taken a careful investigation of the two libraries, he/she could not decide what method should be taken in altering the situation.

In conclusion, the speaker’s assertion that closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville could serve both villages is poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide more information about the library in both areas.


又颓废了几天，估计坛子里都没人认识我了，，，，，龙非，jim，staralways，flyingwind.....你们都考完了。。。。sigh。。。

sailing_yfUID: 150982

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a newspaper serving the villages of Castorville and Polluxton.
'Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes. To save money and improve service, the two villages recently merged their once separate garbage collection departments into a single department located in Castorville, and the new department has reported few complaints about its service. Last year the library in Polluxton had 20 percent fewer users than during the previous year. It follows that we should now further economize and improve service, as we did with garbage collection, by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville to serve both villages.'
------正文------
In this letter, the author concludes that by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville the economic and service could by此句有问题could后面有问题 improved. However, this argument is based on unsubstantiated assumptions, which undermine the argument.

For a start, few complain about the service of the merged garbage collections does not necessarily meanss that the service of it has been vastly improved. It is possible that there are not much complains about the separated garbage collections before merged. It also might be the case that the problems of merged garbage collections have not been found yet in such a short time. Perhaps there will be more complains about the merged garbage collections. Without providing us the detailed information of the service before the garbage collections were merged and the long time management of merged garbage collection, the author could not make a fast conclusion that the service is improved.

Next, even if the mergence of the garbage collections has been proved to be beneficial to the service and economic, it might not work in library. Although it is reported users of library in Polluxton reduced by 20 percent, this phenomenon does not necessarily meanss that the service of library in Polluxton is bad. Perhaps it is the convenient instruments of searching information such as internet that lead to the reduction of users in library. Different from the garbage collection, the library is more complex project to manage and government should take comprehensive considerations of the reduction of users and should not arbitrary副词吧？ attributes the reasons to the service of the library.

Finally, suppose that we have to take some method to solve the problems of library in Polluxton in order to improve the service, the author should consider which library should be closed first but not arbitrarily chose the library in Polluxton. There is no evidence about complains about service of the library in Castorville and how many users in it. It is possible that the reduction of users of library in Castorville is more serious than that in Polluxton. If so, choosing library in Castorville might result in more complains and lead to the decrease of economic. It also might be the case that the library in Castorville is too far away from the place where villagers of Polluxton live. Thus only using the library in Castorville will bring people a lot of troubles to back and forth. Unless the author has taken a careful investigation of the two libraries, he/she could not decide what method should be taken in altering the situation.第三点驳的有点乱

In conclusion, the speaker’s assertion that closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville could serve both villages is poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide more information about the library in both areas.
写的好，没有太大的模板痕迹

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

谢谢拍砖
第三点有的是写完了又加上去的 可能想法有些不一致了。。。

好久不见 嘻嘻
我最近颓废的说，没怎么干活-_-|

楼上的要我砍哪个作文？给个连接

sailing_yfUID: 150982

关于第三点可不可以试着写一些
'Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes“怀疑这个减少数据的可信度？比如说这个观点没有得到官方证实，而且也许是少数数据得出的结论，也许是其他原因得出的结论如统计不全等等。
想来好一点？
谢谢，请回拍。
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=261250

staralwaysUID: 193479

吱吱啊，我还没考啊，我比你迟一天呢。

刚才在另外一个帖子里看到好象说是病了，现在好了没有啊？我上上个星期也病了，然后也不是很想写东西（况且感觉越写越差）。不过现在只剩下一个星期多了，要冲刺了。

一会帮你看还有一篇argument吧。

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

正在看你的一休

一会回复

没啥病 莫名其妙晚上稍微发烧些

谢谢关心，我最近也颓废的说。一起努力

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Argument67 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：吱吱 共用时间：30分2秒 429words/466 words after revised
从2005年3月1日19时34分到2005年3月1日20时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a newspaper serving the villages of Castorville and Polluxton.
'Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes. To save money and improve service, the two villages recently merged their once separate garbage collection departments into a single department located in Castorville, and the new department has reported few complaints about its service. Last year the library in Polluxton had 20 percent fewer users than during the previous year. It follows that we should now further economize and improve service, as we did with garbage collection, by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville to serve both villages.'
------正文------
In this letter, the author concludes that by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville the economic and service could by 【be，检查！】improved. However, this argument is based on unsubstantiated assumptions, which undermine the argument. 【还算简练】

For a start, few complain about the service of the merged garbage collections does not necessarily means that the service of it has been vastly improved. It is possible that there are not much complains about the separated garbage collections before merged. It also might be the case that the problems of merged garbage collections have not been found yet in such a short time. Perhaps there will be more complains about the merged garbage collections. 【这个前后的关系反了，应该说，可能各自的没有抱怨了，但是合并后抱怨很多，原因可能是还没有发现】 Without providing us the detailed information of the service before the garbage collections were merged and the long time management of merged garbage collection, 【 什么意思，不明确，你的意思是要作者给出证据证明合并前后的抱怨数量的差距吗？】the author could not make a fast conclusion that the service is improved.

Next, even if the mergence of the garbage collections has been proved to be beneficial to the service and economic, 【economy】 it might not work 【so well】 in library. Although it is reported users of library in Polluxton reduced by 20 percent, this phenomenon does not necessarily means that the service of library in Polluxton is bad. 【太口语化了】Perhaps it is the convenient instruments of searching information such as internet that lead to the reduction of users in library. Different from the garbage collection, the library is 【a】more complex project to manage and government should take comprehensive considerations of the reduction of users and should not arbitrary attributes the reasons to the service of the library. 【又是把两个问题混在一起说了，一个是garbage政策在library是否适用，另一个是library人数下降的原因问题】

Finally, suppose that we have to take some method to solve the problems of library in Polluxton in order to improve the service, 【最终的目的应该是经济情况的改善】the author should consider which library should be closed first but not arbitrarily chose the library in Polluxton. 【你同意了作者关闭library 的方法了吗？明确的说出来】There is no evidence about 【the】 complains about service of the library in Castorville and how many users in it. It is possible that the reduction of users of library in Castorville is more serious than that in Polluxton. If so, choosing library in Castorville might result in more complains and lead to the decrease of economic. It also might be the case that the library in Castorville is too far away from the place where villagers of Polluxton live. Thus only using the library in Castorville will bring people a lot of troubles to back and forth. Unless the author has taken a careful investigation of the two libraries, he/she could not decide what method should be taken in altering the situation. 【还应该提到重要的一个点，就是，还有其他的方法来改善的】

In conclusion, the speaker’s assertion that closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville could serve both villages is poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide more information about the library in both areas.
【我觉得'Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes. 这句话你没有利用上。property taxes意味着什么？可能是说在地产资源方面，减少占地是有必要的，所以要合并。这个应该考虑一下。还有，人数减少是否对于抱怨减少，看书人数减少有影响呢？】   

又颓废了几天，估计坛子里都没人认识我了，，，，，龙非，jim，staralways，flyingwind.....你们都考完了。。。。sigh。。。

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

谢谢鬼鬼

说不完啊 财产税的事儿我也想了 后来觉得时间有限 那个就扔了

还有问题 混着说 的事儿  是因为我觉得人数下降不能说明服务不好 因为和垃圾场不同的是图书馆的管理更复杂 要有更多的因素 单纯人数下降不足以证明

莫非要拆两片？

还有谬误多的时候 如何选最有价值的东西？

staralwaysUID: 193479

最初由 victoriazhizhi 发布
[B]还有谬误多的时候 如何选最有价值的东西？[/B]

同问。或者可不可以这样：比较简练地把每个谬误都说到？
鬼鬼解释下两者的trade-off啦！谢！

xiaoliu86UID: 174867

等等啊，一会回拍。帮我看看argumet 59
昨天写的，今天刚改

argumet 59
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=261319

xiaoliu86UID: 174867

argument67 限时烂文，砍啦啊砍啦啊！～～
Argument67 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：吱吱 共用时间：30分2秒 429words/466 words after revised
从2005年3月1日19时34分到2005年3月1日20时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a newspaper serving the villages of Castorville and Polluxton.
'Both the villages of Castorville and Polluxton have experienced sharp declines in the numbers of residents who pay property taxes. To save money and improve service, the two villages recently merged their once separate garbage collection departments into a single department located in Castorville, and the new department has reported few complaints about its service. Last year the library in Polluxton had 20 percent fewer users than during the previous year. It follows that we should now further economize and improve service, as we did with garbage collection, by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville to serve both villages.'
------正文------
In this letter, the author concludes that by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville the economic and service could by improved. However, this argument is based on unsubstantiated assumptions, which undermine the argument.

For a start, few complain about the service of the merged garbage collections does not necessarily means that the service of it(直接用it就行了，否则罗索啊) has been vastly improved. It is possible that there are not much complains about the separated garbage collections before merged. It also might be the case that the problems of merged garbage collections have not been found yet in such a short time. Perhaps there will be more complains about the merged garbage collections.（是想说一段时间以后得情况吧，加个时间状语强调一下下比较好） Without providing us the detailed information of the service before the garbage collections were merged and the long time management of merged garbage collection, the author could not make a fast (hasty) conclusion that the service is improved.（merge找个其他得词替换一下吧，cooperate or coalize）

Next, even if the mergence of the garbage collections has been proved to be beneficial to the service and economic(形容词), it might not work in library. Although it is reported users of library in Polluxton reduced by 20 percent, this phenomenon does not necessarily means that the service of library in Polluxton is bad（poor）. Perhaps it is the convenient instruments of searching information，such as internet， that leads to the reduction of users in library. Different from the garbage collection, the library is more complex project to manage and government should take comprehensive considerations of the reduction of users and should not arbitrary attributes the reasons to the service of the library.（好！！！！有深入）

Finally, suppose that we have to take some method to solve the problems of library in Polluxton in order to improve the service, the author should consider which library should be closed first but not arbitrarily chose the library in Polluxton. There is no evidence about complains about service of the library in Castorville and how many users in it. It is possible that the reduction of users of library in Castorville is more serious than that in Polluxton. If so, choosing library in Castorville might result in more complains and lead to the decrease of economic. It also might be the case that the library in Castorville is too far away from the place where villagers of Polluxton live. Thus only using the library in Castorville will bring people a lot of troubles to back and forth. Unless the author has taken a careful investigation of the two libraries, he/she could not decide what method should be taken in altering the situation.（总结得不错）

In conclusion, the speaker’s assertion that closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville could serve both villages is poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide more information about the library in both areas. （可以在具体些）
结构不错，思路也很清晰。比我强！开头和结尾可以在扩展一下。还有些语法错误。
Argument53 互拍！我认为比较麻烦得一篇，melatonin和infants' mild distresshttps://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=261319
No.1 Issue10 第5篇 https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=255959
No.1 argument6，第一篇argu， https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=257037
Argument18 第7篇 https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=259992
issue138 第7篇 https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=259991

龙非UID: 193190

又颓废了几天，估计坛子里都没人认识我了，，，，，龙非，jim，staralways，flyingwind.....你们都考完了。。。。sigh。。。

NND,我可是每天上来瞅一瞅的，不过周末陪人逛了两天街，嘿嘿。补上、补上

xin320UID: 165608

我也还有1周多考试，大家一起努力。

龙非UID: 193190

In this letter, the author concludes that by closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville the economic and service could by improved. However, this argument is based on unsubstantiated assumptions, which undermine the argument.

For a start, few complain about the service of the merged garbage collections does not necessarily means that the service of it has been vastly improved. It is possible that there are not much complains about the separated garbage collections before merged. It also might be the case that the problems of merged garbage collections have not been found yet in such a short time. Perhaps there will be more complains about the merged garbage collections. Without providing us the detailed information of the service before the garbage collections were merged and the long time management of merged garbage collection, the author could not make a fast conclusion that the service is improved.

Next, even if the mergence of the garbage collections has been proved to be beneficial to the service and economic, it might not work in library. Although it is reported users of library in Polluxton reduced by 20 percent, this phenomenon does not necessarily means that the service of library in Polluxton is bad. Perhaps it is the convenient instruments of searching information such as internet that lead to the reduction of users in library. Different from the garbage collection, the library is more complex project to manage and government should take comprehensive considerations of the reduction of users and should not arbitrary attributes the reasons to the service of the library.这一段条理不是很清楚，主题句是讲合并对图书馆不一定适用。但是接下来讲的是P图书馆的服务不一定差。最后一句也流于表面，那么长一句没有什么实质的东西。个人认为在B1和B3之间要驳斥的逻辑可以有两点：其一、P图书馆服务的不一定差（这一点B2你讲了）；其二、即使是服务差，合并也不见得就是解决方法，不见得就能save money和improve service（这一点你B2主题句讲了）。因此，建议将B2的主题句改一下更加能提挈你下面的论证，B2的最后一句更有意义一点。然后再加一段驳斥我说的第二点

Finally, suppose that we have to take some method这里用some method不好，看到这以为你是想说还有其他方法，不一定是合并。结果你下面其实是想说不一定关闭P的，那么这里就明确点出即使我们要合并两个图书馆 to solve the problems of library in Polluxton in order to improve the service, the author should consider which library should be closed first but not arbitrarily chose the library in Polluxton. There is no evidence about complains about service of the library in Castorville and how many users in it. It is possible that the reduction of users of library in Castorville is more serious than that in Polluxton. If so, choosing library in Castorville might result in more complains and lead to the decrease of economic. It also might be the case that the library in Castorville is too far away from the place where villagers of Polluxton live. Thus only using the library in Castorville will bring people a lot of troubles to back and forth. Unless the author has taken a careful investigation of the two libraries, he/she could not decide what method同样，用这个method太泛了 should be taken in altering the situation.这一段主题句改一下，表达类似的意思，即使要合并，也不见得就是要关闭P的，可能关闭C的效果更大。那么加上我在B2的意见，整篇的条理就清楚很多了。B1讲垃圾合并以后不见得就是变好了；B2讲即使垃圾合并好，不见得图书馆需要改革；B3讲即使是图书馆需要采取些措施，不见得就是合并，可能有其他方法；B4讲即使是合并最好，也不见得就是关闭P的，可能关闭C的效果更好

In conclusion, the speaker’s assertion that closing the library in Polluxton and using the library in Castorville could serve both villages is poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide more information about the library in both areas.

开头结尾中规中矩，都比较泛，比如开头unsubstantiated assumptions就可以具体一点，而结尾more information也只是聊胜于无的东东，如果更加具体地点出怎么做能strengthen会更好。有时间的话可以想一个具体一点的模板，毕竟argu的模板比issue有价值。

龙非UID: 193190

还有谬误多的时候 如何选最有价值的东西？

同问。或者可不可以这样：比较简练地把每个谬误都说到？
鬼鬼解释下两者的trade-off啦！谢！

个人觉得比较简练的把每个谬误都说到不是一种好的选择，关键是要深入，而不是全面，泛泛之谈不如不谈。同时，不见得你能要所有的谬误都找到，可能你以为自己已经找全了，但是别人看来，可能还有很多漏洞你没有提到的，这样的话就变成既不深入又不全面了。
结合吱吱的问题，个人觉得选取有以下两点可以依据：
1)选你觉得最能深入的东西，越能深入就是越有价值。
2)选那些跟你整体逻辑能结合起来的。也就是说，你在写Argu的时候，整篇文章会有一根线在牵着的，选择的错误就是那些能串到你这根线上的东东。