issue7我的摄像机

youifUID: 200073

Issue7: 424 words  40 minutes April 3rd
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
Too many spelling errors
标点后enter 3

36
Nowadays, we 'v come up with multitudes of new ways in transmitting information and spreading knowledge, one of which is the video camera. Then is video camera a more important form of documentation? As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the speaker insomuch as video camera can offer vivid picture, which is much direct and is helpful for normal people to understand what is on. Yet, the speaker overstresses the importance of video camera while undermines the value of written records.

28Admittedly, with the advent of video camera, humane has come to experience much more vivid pictures, no matter of disasters or of happiness. With the help of video camera, people in America are able to watch the Olympic sports held in Sidney/Athens/Greece, Australia or in Beijing, China, while sitting at home. With the help of video camera, people all over the world are capable to experience the happiness of the successful landing of the Rocket 5th.Similarly, with the help of the video camera, various people in society come to be aware of the sorrow / agony of the victims in the horrible Tsunami, which happened last December. In short, it is video camera that makes us be well informed as early as possible by its vivid and real-state report.
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However, video camera is considered not to encourage but to inhibit critical thinking. Though video camera can offer active and direct pictures to students, it somehow blocks the freedom of imagination, a targeted ability of first rate importance in students' learning. Taking my own experience for example, when I employ video camera in class, students concentrate more on the pictures while not think as actively as they behave with the written records. In contrast, when we use written records, such as textbooks, magazines and newspapers, as study materials, various questions, usually very critical, arise from most of the students. This instance indicates that relying only on video camera for education might pose threat for the cultivation students' thinking ability.
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Another disadvantage of video camera is it’s instantaneous /twinkle, a scene not lasting for long time. News and information on TV or on cinema comes up instantly while it disappears no slowly. Yet, written records are well-known for its lasting value. We can still enjoy the beauty of the Mona Lisa's smile and we can still experience the wonder of Devine. And no libraries in universities or in cities are crowded simply with video cameras but with written records in various forms, including books, magazines and etc.

To sum up, video camera has its own merit of offering vivid picture and of broadcasting news and stories with
/real state report of various events proceeding all over the world. However, it might inhibit the watcher's imagination and it lacks the lasting value as that lies in written books.

imjasonUID: 176604

占一个了

imjasonUID: 176604

Issue7: 424 words 40 minutes April 3rd
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.Too many spelling errors
标点后enter 3

36
Nowadays, we 've come up with multitudes of new ways in transmitting information and spreading knowledge, one of which is the video camera. Then is video camera a more important form of documentation? As far as I am concerned, I fundamentally agree with the speaker insomuch as video camera can offer vivid picture, which is much direct and is helpful for normal people to understand what is on. Yet, the speaker overstresses the importance of video camera while undermines the value of written records.

28Admittedly, with the advent of video camera, humane has come to experience much more vivid pictures, no matter of disasters or of happiness. With the help of video camera, people in America are able to watch the Olympic sports held in Sidney悉尼的这个拼写正确么/Athens/Greece雅典不就是在希腊么, Australia or in Beijing, China还没举行就可以不用写了吧。呵呵, while sitting at home. With the help of video camera, people all over the world are capable to experience the happiness of the successful landing of the Rocket 5th.Similarly, with the help of the video camera, various people in society come to be aware of the sorrow / agony of the victims in the horrible Tsunami, which happened last December. In short, it is video camera that makes us be well informed as early as possible by its vivid and real-state report.争取再深入点，内容丰富点就好了
17
However, video camera is considered not to encourage but to inhibit critical thinking. Though video camera can offer active and direct pictures to students, it somehow blocks the freedom of imagination, a targeted ability of first rate importance in students' learning.有点武断了 Taking my own experience for example, when I employ video camera in class, students concentrate more on the pictures while not think as actively as they behave with the written records.说得还不是很具体 In contrast, when we use written records, such as textbooks, magazines and newspapers, as study materials, various questions, usually very critical, arise from most of the students. This instance indicates that relying only on video camera for education might pose threat for the cultivation students' thinking ability.这段里没有体现出比较。如果将关注在picture造成的影响再具体点就更好了
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Another disadvantage of video camera is it’s instantaneous /twinkle, a scene not lasting for long time. News and information on TV or on cinema comes up instantly while没有什么转折啊 it disappears no slowly. Yet, written records are well-known for its lasting value. We can still enjoy the beauty of the Mona Lisa's smile and we can still experience the wonder of Devine. And no libraries in universities or in cities are crowded simply with video cameras but with written records in various forms, including books, magazines and etc.

To sum up, video camera has its own merit of offering vivid picture and of broadcasting news and stories with /real state report of various events proceeding all over the world. However, it might inhibit the watcher's imagination and it lacks the lasting value as that lies in written books.我觉得结尾突然出现了强转折但是没有再附加一句解释或解决的话，感觉文章还没有说完。然后每段再深入和具体点就更好了。拙见了。

youifUID: 200073

多谢了,
明天就考了, 没时间补救了,但我会尽量写具体

imjasonUID: 176604

加油，等你的好消息了