issue151 高速通讯方式阻碍交流

猫猫624UID: 171232

151"High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication."

Does a high-speed electronic communications medium, such as electronic media and television serve to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication among people? I concede that telecommunication tools and mass media have provided efficient and convenient methods for people to transmit and exchange information. However, with respect to television, people gradually find mass that media does not contribute to profound and thoughtful communication among people, while the Internet has provided numerous opportunities for meaningful and thoughtful communication. But when regarded as a substitution for face-to-face communication, web-communication serves as impediment, rather than an aid, for meaningful and thoughtful communication.

Since the advent of television, people are provided with more efficient and convenient ways to obtain information anywhere in the world. For the television, people better enjoy the appealing scenery of rainforest, the moment of winner rushing through the finishing line and the astonish scene of historical events. It is a common occurrence for a family to sit around the television to enjoy favorite television programs. However, television which is inherently a one-way communication medium usually requires people to passively receive its information. Moreover, television is commonly considered as a prime way of entertainment. Driven by the pursuit of profits, mass media executives are likely to broadcast entertaining programs, for the purpose of catering the appetites of the majority. In this case, it is infeasible for meaningful and thoughtful communications to take place on the television.

With respect to the Internet, Web-communications have offered people important two-way communication opportunities. In the educational realm, myriads of educational sites provide desirable places for students to gather useful materials and express viewpoints. Increasingly popular distance-learning courses make possible for students to learn knowledge and exchange ideas with teachers in different places.  In business realm, E-mail can help people save much time and energy in exchanging ideas with other people. Teleconferencing promotes cooperation among distinct corporations. With business's increasing dependent on the Internet, many new fields, such as digital-business, have developed to satisfy human's need of meaningful and thoughtful communication.

However, ample examples illustrate the fact that when regarded as substitutive way of traditional communication, web-communication has hampered meaningful and thoughtful communication. Nowadays, people tend to express greeting to friends and families by television or email. Time spent on email and telephone has greatly increased compared with traditional communication ways, such as face-to-face discussion and written letters. From written letters, people can feel the emotional concerns of letter-writers by the types of envelop and lettering paper. From face-to-face discussion, listeners can better comprehend the meanings of speakers. These profound meaning cannot be transmitted through web-communication and telephone. In fact, it is unfairly to blame web-communication and telephone to impend meaningful communication among people, and the true reason lies in increasing pressure from living and working. The requirement of quick reply allows people less time and energy to make clear consideration toward the issues.

In conclusion, with the development of high-speed communication media, people have been provided more effective and convenient ways to gather information and message. However, due to the inherent nature of one-way communication, television cannot contribute to meaningful and thoughtful communication among people. Moreover, when web-communication does not be regarded as substitution for traditional communication method, it serves as supplement and assistance for meaningful and thoughtful communication among human beings.

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

ZHAN
考完后拍:P

gehaifengUID: 189090

151"High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication."

Does a high-speed electronic communications medium, such as electronic media mail and television serve to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication among people? I concede that telecommunication tools and mass media have provided efficient and convenient methods for people to transmit and exchange information. However, with respect to television, people gradually find mass that 是 mass media 把media does not contribute to profound and thoughtful communication among people, while the Internet has provided numerous opportunities for meaningful and thoughtful communication. 这个but是和前面的while 构成一句话的吧, 大小写错了 But when regarded as a substitution for face-to-face communication, web-communication serves as impediment, rather than an aid嗯我觉得这里用propelling  阻碍<->推动, for meaningful and thoughtful communication.

Since the advent of television, people are provided with more efficient and convenient ways to obtain information anywhere in the world. For the television, for the emerging of television people better enjoy the appealing scenery of rainforest, the moment of winner rushing through the finishing line and 你这个句子排比的挺好, 不过最后一个句子句式要变一下, the scene of astonish historical event the astonish scene of historical events. It is a common occurrence for a family to sit around the television to enjoy favorite television programs. However, television , which is inherently a one-way communication medium , usually requires people to passively receive its information. Moreover, television is commonly considered as a prime way of entertainment. Driven by the pursuit of profits, mass media executives are likely to broadcast entertaining programs, for the purpose of catering   cater to 是个固定搭配吧,  这里加个to the appetites of the majority. In this case, it is infeasible for meaningful and thoughtful communications to take place on the television.

With respect to the Internet, Web-communications have offered people important two-way communication opportunities. In the educational realm, myriads of educational sites provide desirable places for students to gather useful materials and express viewpoints. 最近看了一个广告,IBM在狂吹他们的’虚拟教室’项目, virtual class , 这也是个好例子 Increasingly popular distance-learning courses make possible make possible for sb to do sth, 有这样的用法嘛,我记得是make possible sth, make it possible for sb to do sth, toefl 语法里面的 for students to learn knowledge and exchange ideas with teachers in different places. In business realm, E-mail can help people save much time and energy in exchanging ideas with other people. Teleconferencing promotes cooperation among distinct corporations. With business's increasing dependent on the Internet, many new fields, such as digital-business, have developed to satisfy human's need of meaningful and thoughtful communication.

However, ample examples illustrate the fact that when regarded as substitutive way of traditional communication, web-communication has hampered meaningful and thoughtful communication. Nowadays, people tend to express greeting to friends and families by television or email. Time spent on email and telephone has greatly increased compared with traditional communication ways, such as face-to-face discussion and written letters. From written letters, people can feel the emotional concerns of letter-writers by the types of envelop and lettering paper 这个例子有点不好, 你说的是信封的外表和信纸的方式能感觉出远方的人的concern对把, 呵呵, 真浪漫. 不过, 你可以这么说,从信上文字中作者反复对子句的修改, 或对信纸的叠法,甚至邮票的贴法 中可以感觉出写信人对收信人的concern, 这个才是真的thoughtful communication,  是email做不到的, . From face-to-face discussion, listeners can better comprehend the meanings of speakers 太,general了, 从面对面谈话, 可以从说话着的表情或者gesture 更好的了解这个人的mind, 更能拉近人与人之间距离. These profound meaning cannot be transmitted through web-communication and telephone. In fact, it is unfairly to blame web-communication and telephone to impend meaningful communication among people, and the true reason lies in increasing pressure from living and working. 你这个思路,就是说完表面现象后再表述一下这个现象后面的本质的结构很好, 很能体现critical thinking ,, 更能体现思维深度, 好好保持   The requirement of quick reply allows people less time and energy to make clear consideration toward the issues.

In conclusion, with the development of high-speed communication media, people have been provided more effective and convenient ways to gather information and message. However, due to the inherent nature of one-way communication, television cannot contribute to meaningful and thoughtful communication among people. Moreover, when web-communication does not be regarded as substitution for traditional communication method, it serves as supplement and assistance for meaningful and thoughtful communication among human beings.
整体思路很清晰, reason 和 example 说的很充分.  段落之间的衔接上,再下点功夫

猫猫624UID: 171232

gehaifeng,谢谢你排砖!意见接受

imjasonUID: 176604

No.1 issue151 高速通讯方式阻碍交流
151"High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication."

Does a high-speed electronic communications medium, such as electronic media and television serve to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication among people? I concede that telecommunication tools and mass media have provided efficient and convenient methods for people to transmit and exchange information. However, with respect to television, people gradually find mass that media does not contribute to profound and thoughtful communication among people, while the Internet has provided numerous opportunities for meaningful and thoughtful communication. But when regarded as a substitution for face-to-face communication, web-communication serves as impediment, rather than an aid, for meaningful and thoughtful communication.开头长了点，看得也有点晕了。那个网络的玩意到底是赞成还是反对啊？而且觉得文章的主要内容会集中到web-communication上去

Since the advent of television, people are provided with more efficient and convenient ways to obtain information anywhere in the world. For the television, people better enjoy the appealing scenery of rainforest, the moment of winner rushing through the finishing line and the astonish scene of historical events. It is a common occurrence for a family to sit around the television to enjoy favorite television programs. However, television which is inherently a one-way communication medium usually requires people to passively receive its information.这里的一个观点的提出很好，但是好象差点论述。好象只是提出而已，剩下的由读者去思考么？ Moreover, television is commonly considered as a prime way of entertainment. Driven by the pursuit of profits, mass media executives are likely to broadcast entertaining programs, for the purpose of catering the appetites of the majority. In this case, it is infeasible for meaningful and thoughtful communications to take place on the television.

With respect to the Internet, Web-communications have offered people important two-way communication opportunities. In the educational realm, myriads of educational sites provide desirable places for students to gather useful materials and express viewpoints. Increasingly popular distance-learning courses make possible for students to learn knowledge and exchange ideas with teachers in different places. In business realm, E-mail can help people save much time and energy in exchanging ideas with other people. Teleconferencing promotes cooperation among distinct corporations.这些例子如何体现meaningful & thoughtful communication呢 With business's increasing dependent on the Internet, many new fields, such as digital-business, have developed to satisfy human's need of meaningful and thoughtful communication.这段不是很好，全是在堆砌例子而已。TS中的two-way如何说呢。还有我个人觉得one-way & two-way的这个角度有点难说，既然是communication,一般是双向的了。而且即使那样分，也没有说哪个的meaningful and thoughtful communication就更多了

However, ample examples illustrate the fact that when regarded as substitutive way of traditional communication, web-communication has hampered meaningful and thoughtful communication. Nowadays, people tend to express greeting to friends and families by television or email. Time spent on email and telephone has greatly increased compared with traditional communication ways, such as face-to-face discussion and written letters. From written letters, people can feel the emotional concerns of letter-writers by the types of envelop and lettering paper. From face-to-face discussion, listeners can better comprehend the meanings of speakers. These profound meaning cannot be transmitted through web-communication and telephone. In fact, it is unfairly to blame web-communication and telephone to impend meaningful communication among people, and the true reason lies in increasing pressure from living and working. The requirement of quick reply allows people less time and energy to make clear consideration toward the issues.这段要是早点出现就好些了。而且你还提醒了我，写信是不是也是one-way呢

In conclusion, with the development of high-speed communication media, people have been provided more effective and convenient ways to gather information and message. However, due to the inherent nature of one-way communication, television cannot contribute to meaningful and thoughtful communication among people. Moreover, when web-communication does not be regarded as substitution for traditional communication method, it serves as supplement and assistance for meaningful and thoughtful communication among human beings.
觉得全篇没有很好的紧扣题目来写。可能是角度选取的问题吧，个人意见了

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 imjason 发布
[B]No.1 issue151 高速通讯方式阻碍交流
151"High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thou..

以下省略...... [/B]

imjason谢谢排砖

文章根据题目中的electronic mail 和television 分两部分.第二段是television, 3,4 段是elecltronic mail, 由于所写内容不多,所以扩展成了web-comminication.

文章谈到的是meaningful and thoughtful communication.首先要先论证High-speed electronic communications media是否促进communication

第二段论证的是television 虽然能给人带来信息,但是由于是单方面的.人们总是被动的接受其中的信息.而且电视主要是娱乐方式.因此不能促进交流,更谈不上meaningful and thoughtful communication

第三段论证web-television 能够促进交流.因为其本身是双向交流.例如远程教育.学生通过网络学习,然后和老师交换意见.工作中通过网络相互传递信息.

第四段当web-communication 试图去取代traditional communication methods, 例如手写书信,面对面交流.web-communication impetes meaningful and thoughtful communication. 因为meaningful and thoughtful communication 更容易在传统交流中实现.web-communication 可以作为一个补充,而不是替代.

文章采用了递进的写法,先谈有没有促进comminication, 然后谈有没有促进meanfuling and thoughtful comminication. 所以感觉没有太扣题目.

文中提出one-way 和two-way 为的就是想说明,one-way 只能是提供信息而已,不能促进meaningful and thoughtful comminication
专门查了一下google,one-way communication 的解释是:one-way communication: Communication in which information is always transferred
in only one preassigned direction.

只有two-way 才可能促进meaningful and thoughtful comminication .

至于书信我认为属于two-way communication. 写信会得到回信呀