issue131 37分钟狂飚搞定。有拍必回！

zehuaUID: 199246

题目：The arts(painting,music,literature,etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.
拍完贴上你的文章，我必回拍！
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Does arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society? I partly agree with the speaker. However we should realize that due to certain limitations and restrictions, it is entirely possible that some arts are not revealing the truth.

Arts, characterized by portraying people's ideology, especially the subconscious activities of the brain, are possible to reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society. Any form of art is the expression of the artist's internal critical thoughts. Deeply buried in people's hearts, the ideas could hardly be recognized by even contemporary people, not to mention people living hundreds of years later. It is commonly accepted that arts are the only form to record hidden ideas, no matter it is music, literature, or painting. For those ancient tribes without words, history of their own is handed down by telling oral legends. However, today as most of these tribes are becoming extinct, we are unable to know their history. Therefore, had it not been for arts, especially literature, our entire history would have been easily lost, not to say part of the hidden ideas and impulses in a certain period.

However, the foci would be too narrow if we over-emphasis on the functionality of arts, therefore failing to realize the fact that arts sometimes may not be able to accurately express the real ideas or impulses. Although the ideas and impulses are historical events characterized by objectivity, arts created by artists were subjective. Thus it is entirely possible that artists fail to accurately transform the historical events into arts, if artists' own creative ability is poor, or because artists' observation is wrong, or due to artists' misconception. Even if the artist is excellent, almost any forms of arts are mixture of truth and artists' own understandings. This is fact because of the nature of arts. Artists are not cameras, objectively recording facts. In violent contrast, they are doing creative works with their own perception of the environment. Therefore arts may not always be telling the truth.

Moreover, arts are sometimes distorted or misleading, under special circumstances. Artists living in medieval are only allowed to create works praising God. Every form of arts at that time had to pander the church's needs. Anyone who struggled to choose topics not admitted by the church would be treated as rebelliousness, and they would be punished or killed as a result. In other words, arts in medieval were strictly regulated. Artists would certainly fail to express the real meanings of their own, under such a high pressure. Thus we should understand that not all of the arts are true expressions of artists' ideas, or recording impulses of the society.

In the final analysis, the speaker's statement that arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society is partly true. Some of the arts are doing so. However this is not true under certain conditions, especially in the society deprived of freedom and democracy.

zehuaUID: 199246

顶！

hustzwjUID: 203387

issue131 37分钟狂飚搞定。有拍必回！

题目：The arts(painting,music,literature,etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.
拍完贴上你的文章，我必回拍！
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
Does arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society? I partly agree with the speaker. However we should realize that due to certain limitations and restrictions, it is entirely possible that some arts are not revealing the truth.

Arts, characterized by portraying people's ideology (1), especially the subconscious activities of the brain, are possible to reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society. Any( 2) form of art is the expression of the artist's internal critical thoughts. Deeply buried in people's hearts, the ideas could hardly be recognized by even contemporary people, not to mention people living hundreds of years later. It is commonly accepted that arts are the only form to record hidden ideas, no matter it is music, literature, or painting. For those ancient tribes without words, history of their own is handed down by telling oral legends.(3) However, today as most of these tribes are becoming extinct, we are unable to know their history. Therefore, had it not been for arts, especially literature, our entire history would have been easily lost(good!!), not to say part of the hidden ideas and impulses in a certain period.
(1): ideology: The body of ideas reflecting the social needs and aspirations of an individual, a group, a                                    
       class, or a culture.这里是整体的含义!与后面的subconscious activities of the brain不对应.
Is that right?
(2): any—too utterly spoken!
(3):我主要想说一下文章的思路,相信这才是重点!
The definition of ‘otherwise’
1. In another way; differently:
She thought otherwise.
2. Under other circumstances:
Otherwise I might have helped.
3. In other respects:
an otherwise logical mind.
4. Other than supposed; different:
The evidence is otherwise.
从上述可以看出,otherwise一词表明作者在进行比较.你的第一段基本是按照这样的思路来得.但有些不够尽意.比如我觉得可以这样:  Mostly, art is the expression of one artist’s internal critical thinking. Therefore, the inherently contained thoughts about history events implied in these art forms like paintings, music, literature and so on could not be easily clearly understood by contemporary people or even by people living hundreds of years later. 这表明art在这方面有着优势.然后可以讨论otherwise的方面: 比如media, public speech, and so on却有着缺陷. Although in modern times, the reporters are more free to express their idea and could record directly the hidden ideas and impulses of a society, in ancient times, these forms were greatly restricted to do like this.这样就可完整的论证…..
However, the foci would be too narrow if we over-emphasis on the functionality of arts, therefore failing to realize the fact that arts sometimes may not be able to accurately express the real ideas or impulses (思路很顺畅. 赞!). Although the ideas and impulses are historical events characterized by objectivity, arts created by artists were subjective.(我知道你的意思, 但这里显然有逻辑错误!idea本来就是subjective的)Thus it is entirely possible that artists fail to accurately transform the historical events into arts, if artists' own creative ability is poor, or because artists' observation is wrong, or due to artists' misconception. Even if the artist is excellent, almost any forms of arts are mixture of truth and artists' own understandings. This is fact because of the nature of arts. Artists are not cameras, objectively recording facts. In violent contrast, they are doing creative works with their own perception of the environment. (我觉得这段完全是在重复上面的话, 这里就应该插入例子以使更具说服力!)Therefore arts may not always be telling the truth.(论证在理, 但是感觉没有example的支持就显得not persuasive!)说实话,我也没有想到具体的例子,大家讨论一下, 群策群力嘛!
Moreover, arts are sometimes distorted or misleading, under special circumstances. Artists living in medieval are only allowed to create works praising God. Nearly Every form of arts at that time had to pander the church's needs. Anyone who struggled to choose topics not admitted by the church would be treated as rebelliousness, and they would be punished or killed as a result. In other words, arts in medieval were strictly regulated. Artists would certainly (mostly) fail to express the real meanings of their own, under such a high pressure. Thus we should understand that not all of the arts are true expressions of artists' ideas, or recording impulses of the society.(这段论述的很精彩, 有血有肉!!赞!!)
In the final analysis, the speaker's statement that arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society is partly true. Some of the arts are doing so. However this is not true under certain conditions, especially in the society deprived of freedom and democracy.

zehuaUID: 199246

谢谢你给我的修改！我也是武汉的。8。18考。一起努力啊！
（1）ideology用的不合适，那还是用idea?
(2): any—too utterly spoken! 是啥意思啊？
有逻辑错误的那个地方怎么办？看来只能划掉了？
这段重写如下，不知可否：
However, the foci would be too narrow if we over-emphasis on the functionality of arts, therefore failing to realize the fact that arts sometimes may not be able to accurately express the real ideas or impulses。Even if the artist is excellent, almost any forms of arts are mixture of truth and artists' own understandings. This is fact because of the nature of arts. Artists are not cameras, objectively recording facts. In violent contrast, they are doing creative works with their own perception of the environment. Therefore arts may not always be telling the truth. (这里举不出例子啦）Moreover,  true understanding of art requires extensive background knowledge, which is not owned
by every observer. In other words, the hidden ideas and impulses may not be
understood by other people.

edgarluUID: 203648

issue131 37分钟狂飚搞定。有拍必回！

题目：The arts(painting,music,literature,etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.
拍完贴上你的文章，我必回拍！
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
Does arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society? I partly agree with the speaker.[最好把这个partly agree说清楚，否则不符合老外开门见山的写作和阅读习惯] However we should realize that due to certain limitations and restrictions, it is entirely possible that some arts are not revealing the truth.

Arts, characterized by portraying people's ideology[这个词楼主有把握么？], especially the subconscious activities of the brain, are possible to reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society. Any form of art is the expression of the artist's internal critical thoughts. Deeply buried in people's [这句话里三个people，至少这一个应该区分开]hearts, the ideas could hardly be recognized by even contemporary people, not to mention people living hundreds of years later.[这句话的作用为何？好像对论点没有支持作用] It is commonly accepted that arts are the only form to record hidden ideas[the only form么？这个我持保留意见], no matter it is music, literature, or painting [no matter这段最好放到that arts后面做插入语]. For those ancient tribes without words, history of their own is handed down by telling oral legends. However, today as most of these tribes are becoming extinct, we are unable to know their history. Therefore, had it not been for arts, especially literature, our entire history would have been easily lost, not to say part of the hidden ideas and impulses in a certain period. [楼主意思是已知2>1，现证明了3>2，得出结论3>1。逻辑是不错，但是感觉前面压根儿就没有交代2，而是一直在为直接证明3>1做准备。]

However, the foci would be too narrow if we over-emphasis on the functionality of arts, therefore failing to realize the fact that arts sometimes may not be able to accurately express the real ideas or impulses. Although the ideas and impulses are historical events characterized by objectivity, arts created by artists were subjective. Thus it is entirely possible that artists fail to accurately transform the historical events into arts, if artists' own creative ability is poor, or because artists' observation is wrong, or due to artists' misconception. Even if the artist is excellent, almost any forms of arts are mixture of truth and artists' own understandings. This is fact because of the nature of arts. Artists are not cameras[这句话不提也罢，一提就砸了，摄影摄像难道不是艺术], objectively recording facts. In violent contrast, they are doing creative works with their own perception of the environment. Therefore arts may not always be telling the truth.

Moreover, arts are sometimes distorted or misleading[楼主想表达的意思是misled吧？], under special circumstances. Artists living in medieval are only allowed to create works praising God. Every form of arts at that time had to pander [to] the church's needs. Anyone who struggled to choose topics not admitted by the church would be treated as rebelliousness, and they would be punished or killed as a result. In other words, arts in medieval were strictly regulated. Artists would certainly fail to express the real meanings of their own, under such a high pressure. Thus we should understand that not all of the arts are true expressions of artists' ideas, or recording impulses of the society. [B2和B3其实都讲的曲解现实，只不过一个是主观一个是客观，楼主没有将这两点强调且严格区分开]

In the final analysis, the speaker's statement that arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society is partly true. Some of the arts are doing so. However this is not true under certain conditions, especially in the society deprived of freedom and democracy.

个人觉得，全文没有解读hidden ideas and impulses of a society是最大的不足
楼主这篇文章题目应该是The arts(painting,music,literature,etc.) reveal the reality of a society.
楼上拍友所说的第二段例子，也许可以写中国国画的重写意轻写实的风格