issue136 同主题写作 有拍必回，给链接.一楼新附了修改后的版本

tz0412UID: 180794

Issue136  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分     579 words
从2005年6月23日9时29分到2005年6月23日10时44分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
-----提纲-------
同意
1 日常生活中我们似乎会面临没有选择的境地
2 然而，这只是我们不愿意作出做出其他的选择，或者不愿意去尝试其他的选择
3 所有正常的人都有能力和权利作出自己的选择。
4 有时候，你尝试一下其它的选择，说不定会有更好的效果
------正文------
Should the absence of choice just be a circumstance that is very rare or it is a quite common situation? Many people might be more than inclined to assert that they always encounter the condition in their life where there is only one choice give for them to choose. Yet, in my opinion, the majority of those people, if not all, are just forgetting or ignoring many other possible choices for different reasons and concerning.

Admittedly, it seems rather common in our daily life that we sometimes indeed only have just one choice to select. For example, in the Friday afternoon, no sooner than you have just finished the grueling work and are about to go home and have a happy weekend with you family, your boss come in and ask you to do some extra works, thus you probably have to work overtime and go home late. Under such circumstance, for most ordinary people, the choice might be definite and unique to decide to work extra hours if you do not want to loose the job. And various similar stories occur every day in our city, therefore it might be very tempting for us, especially the employees to agree with the statement that they often meet the absence of choice.

Nevertheless, as for me, I think these people are just forgetting the other applicable choice rather than do not have them to choose, because these alternative choice are somewhat impairing people's interests or may bring about some consequence that they do not want to see. Also taking the example we discuss in the last paragraph for illustration. In fact, in such circumstance, we actually have some other choices, for example, to tell the boss that you have been working hard all day long and want to go home a little early because you have an appointment with your family, so you wonder whether you can admit you to do the work in Monday or even take these work back home to finish them in weekends.  Of course, most of us would not choose to do so, just because we are afraid that the boss might get angry for our excuse to postpone the work and thus dismiss us. However it is just we don not want to choose an alternative choice rather than we do not have it.

What is more, if we look this issue from the medical and philosophic respect, we could find notion that every healthy people all have the right and ability to make their own choice and not be forced by the external powers. Only those who are in coma, do not have the conscious or dead people really cannot make their own choice and thus there is an absence of choice in such situation.

What I think is the most solid support for my statement that absence of choice is quite rare is the fact that many people cannot see the potential benefits lying in the alternative choice which they do not to choose. For example, many people may think that the only way to succeed in today's society is to enter the university and college to have the superior education. Yet, is entering the university the only choice for the people pursuing their own accomplishments? Looking the cases of Bill gates, you can get the definite answer. So there are always some other choices you can select and can also be successful.

Therefore, taking into account of all these factors, I can finally make my own conclusion that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare. Those people who aver that they do not have the other choices are just ignoring them or don not want to take them, however if they finally decide to take the other alternatives, they will found th

修改后的，个人感觉比较满意
Whether the absence of choice is just a circumstance that is very rare or it is a quite common situation? Many people might be more than inclined to assert that they always encounter the condition in their life where there is only one choice given for them. Yet, in my opinion, the majority of those people, if not all, are just forgetting or ignoring many other possible choices for different reasons and concerning.

First of all, if we look this issue from medical and philosophic respect, we could find the notion that every healthy people all have the rights and abilities to make their own choice and not be forced by the external powers. Only those who are in comatose state and thus do not have the conscious or dead people really cannot make their own choice. Hence the absolute absence of choice only occurs in these extreme circumstances.

Admittedly, it seems rather common in our daily life that we sometimes indeed only have just one choice to select. For example, on Friday afternoon, no sooner than you have just finished the grueling work and are about to go home and have a happy weekend with you family, your boss comes in and asks you to do some extra works, thus you probably have to work overtime and go home late. Under such situation, for most ordinary people, the choice might be definite and unique, that is to decide to work extra hours if you do not want to lose the job. And various similar stories occur every day in our society, therefore it might be very tempting for people, especially for the employees to agree with the statement that they often meet the absence of choice.

Nevertheless, as for me, I think these people are just ignoring the other applicable choices rather than do not have them, because these alternative choices are probably impairing people's interests or may bring about some unpleasant consequences that they do not want to see. Also taking the example we discuss in the last paragraph for illustration. In fact, in such circumstance, we actually have some other choices, for example, to tell the boss that you have been working hard all day long and want to go home a little early because you have an appointment with your family, so you wonder whether he can admit you to do the work on Monday or even take these work back home to finish them in weekends. Of course, most of us would not choose to do so, just because we are afraid that the boss might get angry for our excuse to postpone the work and thus dismiss us. However it is just that we do not want to select an alternative choice rather than we do not have it.

Moreover, what I think is a furthermore solid support for my statement that absence of choice is quite rare is the fact that many people cannot see the potential benefits lying in the alternative choices they do not want to choose. In fact, in many condition what we might think is a bad or useless idea is exactly the most favorable one. For example, Bayer, one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world, announced that the company would cease production of one of its major products, because of the hazardous ingredients it contained. By doing so, the company suffers great loss on profitability, but gains strong public support and understanding, which can contribute to the long-term success of the company.

Therefore, taking into account of all these factors, I can finally make my own conclusion that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare. Those people who aver that they do not have other choices are just forgetting them or do not want to take them, however if they finally decide to take those alternatives, they will found that the life and future will be still shinning.

[ Last edited by tz0412 on 2005-8-4 at 00:52 ]

逗逗UID: 173558

Should (这个词有问题，题目没讨论应不应该的问题，而是讨论现实中的问题)the absence of choice just be a circumstance that is very rare or it is a quite common situation? Many people might be more than inclined to assert that they always encounter the condition in their life where there is only one choice give（given） for them to choose(去掉). Yet, in my opinion, the majority of those people, if not all, are just forgetting or ignoring many other possible choices for different reasons and concerning.

Admittedly, it seems rather common in our daily life that we sometimes indeed only have just one choice to select. For example, in the Friday afternoon, no sooner than you have just finished the grueling work and are about to go home and have a happy weekend with you family, your boss come in and ask you to do some extra works, thus you probably have to work overtime and go home late. Under such circumstance, for most ordinary people, the choice might be definite and unique to decide to work extra hours if you do not want to loose the job. And various similar stories occur every day in our city, therefore it might be very tempting for us, especially （for）the employees to agree with the statement that they often meet the absence of choice.

Nevertheless, as for me, I think these people are just forgetting the other applicable choice rather than do not have them to choose, because these alternative choice are somewhat impairing people's interests or may bring about some consequence that they do not want to see. Also taking the example we discuss in the last paragraph for illustration. In fact, in such circumstance, we actually have some other choices, for example, to tell the boss that you have been working hard all day long and want to go home a little early because you have an appointment with your family, so you wonder whether you can admit you to do the work in Monday or even take these work back home to finish them in weekends.  Of course, most of us would not choose to do so, just because we are afraid that the boss might get angry for our excuse to postpone the work and thus dismiss us. However it is just we don not want to choose an alternative choice rather than we do not have it.

What is more, if we look this issue from the medical and philosophic respect, we could find notion that every healthy people all have the right and ability to make their own choice and not be forced by the external powers. Only those who are in coma, do not have the conscious or dead people really cannot make their own choice and thus there is an absence of choice in such situation.（表述的有点仓促，而且我觉得安排在这里和前后有点不搭，要不提到最前？）

What I think is the most solid support for my statement that absence of choice is quite rare is the fact that many people cannot see the potential benefits lying in the alternative choice which they do not to choose. For example, many people may think that the only way to succeed in today's society is to enter the university and college to have the superior education. Yet, is entering the university the only choice for the people pursuing their own accomplishments? Looking the cases of Bill gates, you can get the definite answer.（这毕竟是个特例，不贴切，）So there are always some other choices you can select and can also be successful.

Therefore, taking into account of all these factors, I can finally make my own conclusion that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare. Those people who aver that they do not have the other choices are just ignoring them or don not want to take them, however if they finally decide to take the other alternatives, they will found th(没写完?)


语言方面还是不错, 思路是对的 ,但感觉展开不够深入

bcomerUID: 182621

第四段表达有些问题
第五段BILL GATES 后再加一个例子可能会好些，写又如……
第六段没写完

开篇第一句有点单一的重复原题，重复的还有出入……

：）
但写的还是很好的，让我好好的STUDY了一下

billbeeUID: 175501

Should the absence of choice just be a circumstance that is very rare or it is a quite common situation? Many people might be more than inclined to assert that they always encounter the condition in their life where there is only one choice give [given/ provided] for them to choose. Yet, in my opinion, the majority of those people, if not all, are just forgetting or ignoring many other possible choices for different reasons and concerning.

Admittedly, it seems rather common in our daily life that we sometimes indeed only have just one choice to select. For example, in the Friday afternoon, no sooner than you have just finished the grueling work and are about to go home and have a happy weekend with you family[这句话有点罗嗦...], your boss come+S in and ask+S you to do some extra works, thus you probably have to work overtime and go home late[work late in office]. Under such circumstance, for most ordinary people, the choice might be definite and unique to decide to work extra hours if you do not want to loose[lose] the job. And various similar stories occur every day in our city, therefore it [有点指代不明的感觉]might be very tempting for us, especially the employees to agree with the statement that they often meet the absence of choice.

Nevertheless, as for me, I think these people are just forgetting [forget]the other applicable choice+S rather than do not have them to choose[好像多余了], because these alternative choice+S are somewhat impairing people's interests？ or may bring about some consequence that they do not want to see. Also taking the example we discuss in the last paragraph for illustration. In fact, in such circumstance, we actually have some other choices, for example, to tell the boss that you have been working hard all day long and want to go home a little early because you have an appointment with your family, so you wonder whether you can admit you to do the work in Monday or even take these work back home to finish them in weekends.  Of course, most of us would not choose to do so, just because we are afraid that the boss might get angry for our excuse to postpone the work and thus dismiss us. However it is just we do not want to choose an alternative choice rather than we do not have it.

What is more, if we look this issue from the medical and philosophic respect, we could find notion that every healthy [normal]people all have the right and ability to make their own choice and not be forced by the external powers. Only those who are in coma, do not have the conscious or dead people really cannot make their own choice and thus there is an absence of choice in such situation.
[感觉有点中文的意思，有点牵强]
What I think is the most solid support for my statement that absence of choice is quite rare is the fact that many people cannot see the potential benefits lying in the alternative choice which they do not to choose. [有点罗嗦]For example, many people may think that the only way to succeed in today's society is to enter the university and college to have the superior education. Yet, is entering the university the only choice for the people pursuing their own accomplishments? Looking the cases of Bill gates, you can get the definite answer. So there are always some other choices you can select and can also be successful[ choices you can can also be successful？句子不通...建议删了].
Therefore, taking into account of all these factors, I can finally make my own conclusion that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very rare. Those people who aver that they do not have the other choices are just ignoring them or do not want to take them, however if they finally decide to take the other alternatives, they will found th[？？？？]

comment：the total structure and the views of your note is excellent! let us feel comfortable, however, there are lots of the same word in the line, and many sentences seem not so compact. you can do much better if you write it more carefully..
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my issue 136, hope for your opinon
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

tz0412UID: 180794

Originally posted by 逗逗 at 2005-7-23 15:49
Should (这个词有问题，题目没讨论应不应该的问题，而是讨论现实中的问题)the absence of choice just be a circumstance that is very rare or it is a quite common situation? Many people ...

最后一句话是我自己复制的时候没复制好:L 应该是they will found that the life and future is still shinning.  其实这个结尾也不够好，只是因为我当时是限时写的，时间不够所以就仓促结尾了。

tz0412UID: 180794

[quote]Originally posted by bcomer at 2005-7-23 19:40
第四段表达有些问题
我现在也觉得直接把它放到第一段去是不是比较好啊？

第五段BILL GATES 后再加一个例子可能会好些，写又如……
我当时限时写，没时间了，连这个例子都是胡乱想出来的，大家帮帮忙，能不能想到别得更好的例子阿？

最后的结尾是they will found that the life and future is still shinning.  自己复制的时候没弄好。:L