issue136 第四次参加同主题拉

yufengfeng9UID: 197696

18:15
136. "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
没有选择的情况少之又少。独立题目                               position: agree completely
提纲：
1.        在生活中没有选择的情况少之又少
2.        在工作中
3.        在科学研究中
I fundamentally agree with the author’s statement. Although there exist a myriad of situations that seems we have no choice, actually, the true situation is that we always have choices no matter in our daily lives, worknig circumstances or the science researches.

Firstly, in the ordinary lives the situation that we have no choice almost never exists. For instance, sometimes when one falls in love, and the lover whom he or she are deeply loving, sunddenly abandons him or her without any approprate reasons. He or she is seriously hurt, even tries to suicide. In this situation, he or she seems to have no choice, however, the “no choice” thingking is just because the way one think. Take the case for example, if he or she thinks more about their family, parents, he or she will understand that despite love, there are still a lot of presious sentiments needed to be cherish. Then there will be lot of more choices to select other than suiciding, such as working hard without wasting time in loving one who did not love him or her, or finding another boyfriend or girlfriend. In one word, in our lives there are always a multitude of conditions that make us lose hope, nevertheless, if we change a perspective of views, we will always find a number of choices are waiting for us.

Secondly, in the work the non-choice situation also rarely happens. When we are at work, there are always a good many of difficulties that make us feel impossible to accomplish it. We are always disappointed by lots of mistakes or misunderstanding with co-workers, sometimes they are so hard to get over that we even want to quit. Take an extreme situation for example, when one is fired, and the reason given by the boss is lacking capacity and effeciency, it seems that he or she has no choice but quit, however, there are also another way to go. One can always reeducates himself or herself via a number of ways such as the adult night-school, being an apprentice and the delivery education. So that he could acquire more experience and skills to work. Then after search and interviewing, he or she will surly acquire a job soon. Thus, even in the extremely hard situation people also have choices and they are depended on their devotion and resolution.
Similarly, in the sphere of science researching, the situation without a choice is hard exists. For example, when Edison tried to invent the bulb, he tries thousands of materias of the filaments. It seems that he have no choice but quiting the research after failed thousands of times, nontheless, eventually he achieved the success. In some cases of science researching, people always find they are hopeless to suceed. The resources are regulated by the patronizers and the results are even could not be predicted. Althought the situation that they have no choice but ceasing the research seems to be unavoidable, there is also another option for them to choose: insisting and never giving up. Edison did not give up, so he attained the achievement, hence, as everyone could aslo achieve the achievement as Edison do.

To sum up, I strongly agree with the author’s perspective of view that the absence of choice is a situation that is considerably rare. In our daily, working and science researching lives, this rule is omnipotent for everyone.                                                             19:05 共用时50分

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-23 at 22:05 ]

chenda8201UID: 171368

呵呵～
同时校友，先保存晚点看～:p

另：提个醒——
你的发文格式不对
标题要注明issue136
然后空格，然后才是你想说的话～
比如  
issue136 第四次参加同主题拉

:handshake

chenda8201UID: 171368

136. "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
没有选择的情况少之又少。独立题目                               position: agree completely
提纲：
1.        在生活中没有选择的情况少之又少
2.        在工作中
3.        在科学研究中

[采用case by case的写法～如何连贯是一个需要注意的问题～]

I fundamentally agree with the author’s statement. Although there exist a myriad of situations that seems we have no choice, actually, the true situation is that we always have choices no matter in our daily lives, worknig [working] circumstances or the science researches [etc]. [后面这个加个etc. 表示不只单单这些，这样就不要限于这三种情况，表明实际还有更多，只是文中将用这三个方面来作代表论述～]

Firstly, in the ordinary lives the situation that we have no choice almost never exists. For instance, sometimes when one falls in love, and the lover whom he or she are [is] deeply loving, sunddenly [suddenly] abandons him or her without any approprate [appropriate] reasons. He or she is [may be] seriously hurt, even tries to suicide. In this situation, he or she seems to have no choice, however, the “no choice” thingking [thinking是思想，想法用thought] is just because the way one think. Take the case for example, if he or she thinks more about their family, parents, he or she will understand that despite love, there are still a lot of presious [precious] sentiments needed to be cherish. Then there will be lot [lots] of more [去掉more] choices to select [select改成to be selected] other than suiciding [suicide是名词，不是动词～], such as working hard without wasting time in loving one who did not love him or her, or finding another boyfriend or girlfriend [这里要改成girlfriend or boyfriend，这样才能与上文的he or she 对应～]. In one word, in our lives there are always a multitude of [a multitude of这个说法有吗？不清楚～] conditions that make us lose hope, nevertheless, if we change a perspective of views, we will always find a number of choices are waiting for us.
[这一段的例子没什么说服力～讲的是ordinary life，首先例子给出当面临fail in love 时，说no choice，可是说什么考虑到家人朋友就有choice，这什么逻辑啊？举了例子就要来围绕论点论证，比如这个例子中说到seem no choice，那只是表面上看起来的；那么深入分析时就要指出为什么还是有choice的，choice从何而来？从而论证choice本来就在那里exist的～]

Secondly, in the work the non-choice situation also rarely happens. When we are at work, there are always a good many of difficulties that make us feel impossible to accomplish it [them指代之前的difficulties]. We are always disappointed by lots of mistakes or misunderstanding with co-workers, sometimes they are so hard to get over that we even want to quit. Take an extreme situation for example, when one is fired, and the reason given by the boss is lacking capacity and effeciency [efficiency], it seems that he or she has no choice but quit, however, there are also another way [把also another way改成other ways吧～，因为不止一条路可走，对吧～] to go. One can always reeducates himself or herself via a number of ways such as the adult night-school, being an apprentice and the delivery education. So that he [or she] could acquire more experience and skills to work. Then after search and interviewing, he or she will surly acquire a job soon [这个未免太绝对了吧～]. Thus, even in the extremely hard situation people also have choices and they are depended on their devotion and resolution. [这个example能算得上extremely situation 吗？不行吧～]
[这段的例子也是说得有些奇怪～本来一开始说loss job，那么it seems no choice，然后要证明的就是其实choices are everywhere；可是文中提出拉的又说到什么reeducation，说这个是choice，这扯到一起并不能论证本段TS所说的the non-choice situation rarely happens in the work place;或者说实在太不明显了；是否可以这样说，即被fired之后其实从可以看作是一个新的choice, to some extent. 然后说那人可以去怎么样干其他事情之类吧，具体还要琢磨组织好语句～]

Similarly, [这个similarly用在这样得case by case的论证过程中倒是很不错的！学习～] in the sphere of science researching [用research 就行啊～], the situation without a choice is hard exists. For example, when Edison tried to invent the bulb, he tries thousands of materias [materials] of the filaments. It seems that he have no choice but quiting [quitting] the research after failed thousands of times, nontheless [nonetheless], eventually he achieved the success. In some cases of science researching [researches], people always find they are hopeless to suceed [succeed]. The resources are regulated by the patronizers [patrons] and the results are even could not be predicted. Althought [Although] the situation that they have no choice but ceasing the research seems to be unavoidable, there is also another option for them to choose: insisting and never giving up. [Like] Edison did not give up, [and] so he attained the achievement, [;] hence, as everyone could aslo [also] achieve the achievement as Edison do [did].
[这段的例子可以，不过就是有些老套了～呵呵；另：举例就是要挖掘例子中可以来为我所用的点就行，那点就要特别点出，其他的略去不讲～]

To sum up, I strongly agree with the author’s perspective of view that the absence of choice is a situation that is considerably rare. In our daily, working and science researching lives, this rule is omnipotent for everyone.                    
19:05 共用时50分


[总体结构还是不错的～；
思路也清晰；
不过要是列了提纲后还超时就需要加强一些速度练习了～
尽量在45mins完成吧～；
例子问题上面都说了不少，就是例子是为论点的论证服务的～；
还有就是语言的表达，感觉上有不少地方很Chinlish吧～；
这个语言问题也是我比较头痛的～]

hyyrrcathyUID: 172021

也来说说我的看法吧。
语法什么的问题我就不说了，楼上的都讲的差不多了，建议楼主再好好查一下。整个结构，分领域讨论当然很好，但楼主有没有想过，分领域讨论必须是因为各个领域情况不一样，比如说生活领域有数不清的选择是因为可供选择的选项很多，simply 不可能run out of 选项；而工作领域中选择也不会没有是因为解决问题总可以想办法，常常看上去没办法，但仔细想想就有办法了～～～你在这两个领域都没说清楚，模模糊糊看上去没有选择，但是怎样怎样，就有选择了，我觉得你可以再思考一下啦
第三段就是科学研究那一段比较好。因为好像这一篇很难举什么具体的例子哦，大家都是在拿身边的事情打比方，说理的比重比较大，这就加大了难度，但是楼主这里拿了具体的爱迪生的例子出来，我觉得很能表现问题啊！！！值得我学习！！

我的issue136，有空欢迎来拍砖https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1645364

yufengfeng9UID: 197696

献丑了这篇其实是自我感觉写得不太好的一篇~ 第一次开始限时 例子那些都是凑的所以非常有不恰当之感~~楼上的意见虚心接受~