argument147 G-89-互助社－８.６同主题写作再一篇

melinda2036UID: 2108044

The sales if Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically
In this argument, the arguer addresses his or her conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support the argument, he or she presents the players’ preference of games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. The arguer further states that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. This argument is based on fault analogy and is absolutely groundless.
First of all, it is unknown that which age groups participated in the survey and in what way it conducted. If the age group is 20 to 30 years or even old, they would more mature in choosing a game and have a higher standard in lifelike graphics than the young. In this sense, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old is groundless. It may add the cost of expense and fail to advertise efficiently. Or if the survey uses some misleading items, the players’ real preference may be distorted. Moreover, there is no information on the number of people who involved in the survey. Whether it is conducted on national scale or simply confined to several people. If the latter, then the preference revealed by the survey cannot represent that of the general players. So the information revealed by the survey cannot guarantee the sales increase automatically.
Secondly, as the arguer states, lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. If means that without the support of most up-to-date computer, only the high developed video games itself cannot realize the high standard of lifelike graphics. So if the majority have no the most up-to-date computer or have no intention to change them, then they probably don’t buy the new games introduced by Whirlwind company. These possibilities further weaken the argument.
Finally, that the sales of Whirlwind video games declined may have some deep-rooted reasons. The content of the games sold by Whirlwind may out-of-date and need to refresh. The stability of the game is being questioned and causes some trouble to the computer, which install it. It does not follow that simply introducing several new games and advertising them will automatically lead to a solution to the sale decrease. It is wiser to find out the problems, which really contribute to the sales decrease and try to solve them actively. In this sense, the argument is unconvincing and vulnerable.
In summary, the arguer presents the ambiguous survey, which reveals nothing as well as proves nothing. Every company is in want of the sales increase and gaining profit. But the hasty positive prediction may lead to the ignorance of the problems and lost the precious time to solve these problems immediately.
拍吧同志们

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-7 at 10:55 ]

polymathUID: 179557

帮melinda2036贴两篇作业,她因为太累,已经倒在床上了,呵呵

身体还是最重要的！注意休息啊！天热多吃西瓜！呵呵！:)
先帮你顶一个！大家的力量是无穷的！:p

zrreignUID: 179980

占个座啦

zrreignUID: 179980

The sales if Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically

In this argument, the arguer addresses his or her conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support the argument, he or she presents the players’ preference of games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. The arguer further states that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. This argument is based on fault analogy and is absolutely groundless.第一段重述题目太多了

First of all, it is unknown that which age groups participated in the survey and in what way it conducted. If the age group is 20 to 30 years or even old, they would more mature in choosing a game and have a higher standard in lifelike graphics than the young. In this sense, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old is groundless. It may add the cost of expense and fail to advertise efficiently. Or if the survey uses some misleading items, the players’ real preference may be distorted. Moreover, there is no information on the number of people who involved in the survey. Whether it is conducted on national scale or simply confined to several people. If the latter, then the preference revealed by the survey cannot represent that of the general players. So the information revealed by the survey cannot guarantee the sales increase automatically.挺好的，论述得很清楚

Secondly, as the arguer states, lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. If means that without the support of most up-to-date computer,语法不对 only the high developed video games itself cannot realize the high standard of lifelike graphics这句话表达不太好. So if the majority have no 这个会不会比较口语？用don not have会不会好一点阿？ the most up-to-date computer or have no intention to change them, then they probably don’t buy the new games introduced by Whirlwind company. These possibilities further weaken the argument.

Finally, that the sales of Whirlwind video games declined may have some deep-rooted reasons. The content of the games sold by Whirlwind may （be）out-of-date and need to refresh. The stability of the game is being questioned and causes some trouble to the computer, which install it. It does not follow that simply introducing several new games and advertising them will automatically lead to a solution to the sale decrease. It is wiser to find out the problems, which really contribute to the sales decrease and try to solve them actively. In this sense, the argument is unconvincing and vulnerable. 觉得这一段要不你就写因为那几个能赚钱那也只是少数，可能还有好多产品亏本加在一起公司还是不能赚。或者你就把那个“深层次”的导致公司亏本的东西写出来，不然的话我觉得论证好像不清楚。

In summary, the arguer presents the ambiguous survey, which reveals nothing as well as proves nothing. Every company is in want of the sales increase and gaining profit. But the hasty positive prediction may lead to the ignorance of the problems and lost the precious time to solve these problems immediately.觉得结尾有新意阿！可是还是要明确的把观点说出来才行啊！

觉得你的句子没有什么大问题，有些小的语法错误我就不改了，相信是笔误。论述也是比较清楚的，不错哦！

melinda2036UID: 2108044

谢谢zrreign的中肯批评，我的后两段论述真的很成问题，因为起笔时没想清楚，写着写着就没感觉了．思维可能还没完全打开，．也谢谢ＰＯＬＹ哥哥的关心，感动呀．要再努力才行．